


The Neverland Paradox

by Script_Savage



Series: This is My Family [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Age Regression/De-Aging, Bahrain Revelations, Bedwetting, Big Sister Bobbi, Comfort Toys, Daddy Coulson, Diapers, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Internal Conflict, May vs. Ward Part II, Nightmares, Nonsexual Ageplay, Nursing, Original Female Character - Freeform, PTSD, Philinda - Freeform, Pranks, Redemption, Science Bros, Season 2 spoilers, Separation Anxiety, Specialist Fitz, Starting Over, Team as Family, The Cavalry, Touch Hunger, Traumatic Experiences, family matters, kid!Jemma, kid!Skye, mama may, security blankets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 07:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 92,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Script_Savage/pseuds/Script_Savage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the same universe as justwolf's Found Family series. Skye wishes frequently that she was little enough  to be held; however, when her wish is granted, she is faced with  a whole new set of problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celestialskiff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialskiff/gifts), [beerbad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beerbad/gifts), [PanicMoon15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanicMoon15/gifts).



> I know this kind of thing has been done before by several people, but I wanted to try my hand at it...Reading Skye's inner monologue when she wishes that she was small enough for May and Phil to hold got me thinking about this--I wondered what she would do if it actually happened. Also, no one ever seems to address what it must be like for Skye to suddenly be back in a child's body. I'm sure it's at least a little jarring (read: scary) to be put in such a position from being a full-grown adult, which comes with a lot of responsibility, but we also tend to take a lot of things for granted, like our independence...

“You know,” Skye was saying. “I think I’d rather he’d just shot me. This is humiliating. Asshole.” She grumbled.

“It can’t be that bad. I mean, I’m not saying that the situation is _ideal_ , but you’ve been shot twice already—and I don’t think we have any more miracle cures hidden away in secret bases. And watch your language.” Jemma’s voice was kind, but firm, prim and proper and English, and that made her sound really cool, in Skye’s opinion.

Skye huffed at the reprimand and resisted an almost overwhelming urge to poke her tongue out at Simmons. She was still a grown-up, regardless of what she looked like. “That’s easy for you to say; you’re not the one who took a bath in the Fountain of Youth—although I’d be much happier if you quit stabbing me.” And that’s exactly what it felt like too, not to mention it was scary on top of being painful. She was all alone, and she was getting repeatedly poked with a big scary needle. She wanted to cry, but she didn’t. She was brave, and brave girls didn’t cry.

“I know this isn’t exactly pleasant,” Jemma said gently. “I just want to make sure they didn’t do anything else to you. We don’t know what was in the serum, and if it’s having any negative effects on your body, I’d rather catch them sooner than later.”

Skye sighed. Simmons had a point—but that didn’t mean she had to like being the size of a three year old child. As far as she could tell, whatever crap Ward and his idiot HYDRA goons had drenched her with had only changed her physically—she was still perfectly capable of cracking virtually any computer system on the planet, she was just a lot smaller.

She tried to keep up her poker face while Simmons examined her, but it was difficult—inwardly, she was terrified. And, Coulson had been in the room initially, and they hadn’t had a chance to really talk, but he’d called her a trooper, and that meant she was brave (even though she didn’t get the hug she’d wanted from him.)

Ever since the relationship dynamics between her and Coulson and May had changed so that she was their Little, not just a member of their team, she’d often wished that she could actually _be_ little again so they could carry her around properly; as an adult, she’d been much too big for that. Now, however, she was quickly discovering that being child-sized again was much scarier than she’d expected— _everything_ was bigger than she was now, and no amount of combat training from May was worth anything if she didn’t have the physique to utilize it.

She felt raw, and afraid, and terribly, terribly vulnerable, and she really just wanted a hug—but she wasn’t about to tell Simmons that now, because the last thing she needed was to have her mental faculties in question—the situation was almost as irritating as it was scary without that added to the mix.

She wanted to suck her thumb, because she was scared, and she felt very little, but she fought the urge—there was no need to make herself appear more childish than she already was; and considering that she was currently drowning in one of her old t-shirts, that was saying something. She realized then that she was trembling, and she twisted her hands in the hem of her shirt to keep herself still.

_Be brave, Skye._ She told herself firmly. It didn’t help very much. She wanted her blanket, and a bottle, and a diaper, because those things were safe, and she didn’t feel very safe at all.

May came into the room then, and Skye felt a little calmer—she knew that May could protect her, as much as she hated to admit that she _needed_ protecting.

“I came as soon as I could.” May said, her tone brisk and a little impatient. “Are you okay?”

Skye nodded. “I’m fine. Besides being…you know, tiny, and everything. It’s not nearly as exciting as you might think—I can’t reach the cookie jar on top of the fridge anymore. I think I might actually go crazy., since that’s my go to comfort-food, and Coulson keeps all the good ones in there. On the bright side, I can punch Hunter in the nuts and he won’t even see it coming now, serves him right for drawing a mustache on my face when I was asleep, in _permanent marker_. That stuff isn’t easy to get off, you know.” She tried to sound nonchalant about the whole thing, but judging by then expression May’s face, she saw right through Skye’s bravado, to the terrified little girl she felt like on the inside.

“I’m glad you’re feeling okay.” May told her, but her tone said: _You’re not fooling me._ She turned to Simmons, and placed a comforting hand on Skye’s back—the fact that it covered Skye’s entire back was a little surreal, but it made her feel much safer.

“Any progress with Skye’s bloodwork? The sooner we figure out what’s causing this, the sooner we can get to work on a solution.”

“I’ve just finished examining the first of the samples, so far as I can tell she’s stopped shrinking, but it will take some time to make sense of the other results.” Jemma replied, and Skye thought she sounded a little exasperated. Not that Skye could blame her, she was under an awful lot of pressure.

“Do you mind taking some of the samples to Coulson? I think Banner and Stark might be able to help us out on this one. Banner is a doctor, and Stark is a genius and, well, as he puts it, ‘has some really cool science toys. Between the two of them, we should be able to make some headway.”

Jemma nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. As much as I hate to say it, I’m a little out of my depth on this, a consult wouldn’t hurt, and I’m sure Doctor Banner has heaps more experience with this kind of thing than I do.” She stuck a small, round band-aid on the puncture site where she’d drawn Skye’s blood. “There we are, good as new.” She paused to gather up a few of the vials and then headed out of the room, presumably to find Coulson.

 

“Skye?” May’s voice was calm, and gentle as she moved to stand in front of Skye. “How are you? Really?”

Skye was shaking all over again, and she was very glad she hadn’t had anything to eat recently, because her stomach tied itself in an anxious knot, and she thought she might’ve thrown up if she had.

“I’m…I’m really scared.” Skye admitted. Her eyes burned, and she really didn’t want to cry, but she didn’t think she’d be able to stop the tears. Now that Mommy was here, she didn’t feel very brave at all.

“Before, when I was Little, I always wanted to actually _be_ little, so you could hold me for real, and now that I am…It’s the scariest thing in the world. Literally _everything_ can hurt me now. All your training, all that time we spent practicing at the firing range—all of it’s useless, because I’m too little to use it. I’ve never felt so vulnerable before; it’s worse now, because I’ve seen the ugly side of people, and I know that they’re capable of some really horrible things…and now, not only am I powerless to fight back, I’m also defenseless and that’s…that’s terrifying.”

She was proud of herself for saying all that without bursting into tears, but she was still trembling, and weak, and brittle; she felt like she could crumble into a million pieces at any second. And it only got worse when another awful thought occurred to her:

“You’re going to send me back to St. Agnes, aren’t you? That’s what the rest of the team will want. This…this is no place for…someone like me, especially not now. I have nothing to offer the team—I can’t _do_ anything…”

Suddenly, she was crying, hard, ragged sobs that shook her whole body. She didn’t want to leave, not now, not when she finally had…a family. She couldn’t go back to being just another mouth to feed, another face that people only _pretended_ to care about.

“Oh, baby girl,” May said, and it took Skye a second to realize that May was actually holding her for real. It felt just as safe and wonderful as she’d imagined it would feel. “Shh. I’ve got you…I’ve got you.”

Skye was a lot more comforted by that than she’d admit out loud, but she definitely wasn’t complaining.

“I’d never send you away. And I don’t care what the team says, anyone who can’t deal with having a smaller you around until we can fix this is out of a job.” Her voice was so tender and gentle and full of love, and Skye felt _so_ little.

She stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked on it, because that always helped her stop crying. She was with Mommy, and they were alone, so she knew it was okay.

May patted her back and rocked her gently; the motion was so soothing that it almost lulled Skye to sleep.

After a long moment, Skye pulled away. “Really?”

May nodded solemnly. “Really. Anyone who treats you differently because of this will have to answer to Coulson and I. As far as I’m concerned, this is no different than being injured in the field: you’re still you, still just as capable as you were before, you just have to take it easy for a while until you heal. And if you need to be little during that time period, that’s perfectly okay, too.”

“I don’t know what I want…” Skye confessed. “I just want to be me again. I don’t like this…I was _finally_ becoming someone, I wasn’t just a scared orphan who hacked her way into a secret government organization trying to find some scrap of information on her parents—I was one of the good guys. And now…”

May rubbed her back some more, and she didn’t feel quite so terrible. May sat down in the wheeled lab chair where Jemma’d been examining Skye’s blood samples. She set Skye down on her lap and wiped away stray tears with the pads of her thumbs.

“You still are that person, Skye. You’re still one of us. Just because you’re a little smaller doesn’t change what you are. It’s _different_ , but that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with being different.”

May took her very gently by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. “It’s alright to be scared. Anybody in your position would be, and anyone who tells you different is full of it. But, Skye, I want you to know that I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.” Skye said bitterly.

“I can.” May countered, still calm and gentle and safe. “I absolutely can promise you that. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Skye.”

Skye nodded. “Okay. Thanks,” she stared at her. She didn’t really feel big or little at the moment, just awkward, and a little embarrassed. “Do you think we could maybe go and get some clothes? None of my stuff fits anymore…”

“Of course. We can go now if you want; we’ll get something to eat at the mall.”

Skye blinked. “The mall? Isn’t that a little…risky? What if someone sees us? We’re kind of fugitives at the moment…”

May smiled and ruffled Skye’s hair, just a little. “They will, but they won’t expect any of us to have a child with us. In some ways, you being this little again is the best cover we have.”

Skye smiled back; maybe she _wasn’t_ completely useless after all. “That’s…actually pretty cool.” She admitted. “I guess this, mini-me thing isn’t all terrible. I can be like your super-secret ninja sidekick. No one would ever see me coming.”

_Super-secret ninja sidekick?   Way to be mature, Skye_. She mentally kicked herself for saying that as her face heated up. Hard.

May just smiled at her. “So, super-secret ninja sidekick, do you need to use the bathroom before we go?”

Skye was suddenly aware that she _did_ need to go. Badly. In fact, she was fairly certain that her bladder was going to explode. That was worrisome—she’d be the first to admit that she didn’t have the greatest track record as far as rushing to the bathroom was concerned, but she’d never had to go _this_ badly, _this_ suddenly before. And, she was a little annoyed at the fact that May had noticed before she had.

She nodded, and May scooped her up again; she had to pee too badly to be embarrassed that she needed to be carried to the bathroom.

Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered her much—at all really, especially if she was Little—but since she was trying to maintain as much control of her faculties as she could, trying to hold on to what little remained of her adulthood, regardless of her current size, it was more than a little unsettling.

“Hurry,” she murmured nervously around her thumb, before jerking it out of her mouth, upset with herself for not noticing that it was there in the first place.

“I’m hurrying, baby. We’re almost there.” May assured her, though she noticeably picked up the pace. Skye was too concerned with holding it to be irritated at her choice of term of endearment.

Skye made it. Barely. May had just sat her down on the toilet—she was too grateful to be on the toilet instead of peeing all over herself and May—when she started. She wanted to say that she’d ‘made it’ on her own, but the logical, _adult_ portion of her brain was telling her that it was more a matter of extremely fortunate timing than anything else. That wasn’t a good sign.

Once she’d finished, she was confronted with another problem: she couldn’t reach the sink. May was standing just outside the door, giving her space, which she appreciated, but as embarrassed as she was to need help _again_ , she wasn’t going to leave the bathroom without washing her hands first. That was gross.

“May? Uh…little help” Skye fidgeted, uncomfortable.

“Oh, I’m sorry, kiddo,” she said, and Skye felt a little more grown-up. Only a little though. She lifted Skye up so she could reach the sink.

Skye gasped when she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

“Eveyrthing okay?” May wondered.

“Fine. Just haven’t seen my reflection yet. I’m kind of adorable.” Skye realized. “Oh, god. Fitzsimmons and Bobbi are gonna have a field day with this one…Can we please get some adultish stuff at the mall? I don’t have high expectations, and I don’t mind _some_ childish stuff, but I don’t want to look like a walking advertisement for Osh Kosh B’Gosh.”

May settled Skye on her hip. “I think that can be arranged. Let’s go see what we can do.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye's having a rough day, Luckily, Mommy is there to make it all better.

Riding in the car was a lot more boring when she couldn’t even see out the window. She could sort of see out through the windshield, but because of the angle, she could only see the sky and the tops of the trees—the view got to be pretty boring after the first couple minutes. It took forever too; May was driving especially slowly, and they’d taken mostly backroads to get to the mall, since Skye didn’t have a car seat, and was obviously too small to sit in the seat without some kind of extra restraint.

She was leaning back against the over-the-shoulder part of the seatbelt, because it would have choked her otherwise. Her legs dangled off the front of the seat, nowhere near touching the floor. She sighed. Being small kind of sucked.

“You okay back there?” May asked.

“I’m fine. I just wish I could see out the windows…”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” May said gently. “We’ll get you a car seat while we’re here, alright.”

“As if this entire experience wasn’t humiliating enough already…” Skye griped, shifting uncomfortably in the seat. There had been some pull-ups in the glovebox, and they were a little too big, not to mention that she’d have preferred to wear actual underwear, but she was grateful to be wearing something else besides the shirt. At least she didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing it—the old shirt came down past her knees, so that was one thing that worked in her favor.

The car came to a stop and May turned off the engine. Skye tried not to fidget with excitement at finally being able to get up and walk around, but it was hard.

“One more thing,” May said as she opened the door to unbuckle Skye’s seatbelt. “You’re going to need to call me either Mommy, or Mama while we’re here. I don’t mean to embarrass you, and I don’t care what you call me when we’re around the rest of the team, but people will definitely raise an eyebrow if they hear you call me ‘May’?”

Skye nodded. “I figured something like that was coming. Okay, Mommy.” She answered, testing the word out. She’d called May that all the time when she was Little, but it felt more natural, safer now. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

May slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and settled Skye on her hip as they went inside. Skye was grateful, mostly because she didn’t have shoes, and the pavement was probably really hot, and She’d have to take four or five steps for every one of May’s and that got tiring pretty fast; and also, it was comfortable, and she felt much safer up here. She thought she’d probably get lost if she walked around on her own: there were a _ton_ of people around, and given that she was a under waist height on most people, she thought May would be pretty hard to find again if they got separated, and that was scary.

 

They headed into a department store, May paused by the shopping carts and looked at Skye. “You can ride in the cart if you want; or I can carry you.”

“I like it when you hold me,” Skye confessed. “But I don’t want your arms to get tired, and I haven’t ridden in the cart in forever…”

May tweaked Skye’s nose, and despite her best efforts, she giggled anyway. “My ops bag weighs more than you do, kiddo. My arms won’t get tired, it’s okay. But we need a cart anyway, so just let me know if you change your mind. Do you need the potty before we get started?”

Skye made a face, then realized that there were several other people within earshot of them. Oh. Right. “No, Mommy. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” May asked, gently.

Skye nodded once, and nibbled on her thumb. She was trying to be grown-up and big and brave, but it was really hard. There were so many _people_ and everything was so _big_ and she was very, very little. She held on to Mommy— _May’s_ —shirt tightly, and sucked her thumb, just a little, for comfort.

“Skye? Are you alright? You’re shaking.”

Was she? She couldn’t feel it, but she believed May—her heart felt like it was trying to jackhammer its way out of her chest.

“Just a little overwhelmed.” Skye admitted. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

“If it gets to be too much, just tell me, and we’ll go. We can come back later, or I can come by myself and you can stay with Coulson.”

“No.” Skye said, before she could stop herself. “Want you, Mommy.”

May kissed her forehead and squeezed her a little tighter. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise. I love you so much, and I will always be here to take care of you. Don’t worry.”

Skye snuggled as close as she could to May and rested her head on her shoulder. “Love you too.” She said around her thumb.

“ _We_ , little one, have an appointment with some pants.” May said, and then they were off through the aisle to the Infants & Toddlers section of the store.

The first thing May grabbed when they got there was a selection of pants, all the same design, in multiple sizes. She draped them over the side of the cart and grabbed one of the smaller pairs. She set Skye down and held out the pants for her to step into.

“Here, try these on.”

Skye stepped into them carefully, keeping her hands on May’s shoulders for balance until she could tug them on properly. The fit was almost perfect; they were a little long in the leg, but Skye thought maybe that was because she wasn’t wearing any shoes. Her feet were very cold, she realized, and she thought about saying something, but she didn’t want to whine.

“Good girl,” May praised, and kissed her cheek. “Turn around for me.”

Skye twirled obediently.

“They look alright to me. Do they feel okay?” May asked, adjusting the waistband a little.

Skye nodded. “They feel good.” They made her pull-up feel a little more snug, but that was embarrassing to say, so she left that part out.

May nodded and peeled off the tag, folding it over itself so the barcode was visible. Skye caught the size as she did so, and frowned. She hadn’t thought she was _that_ small…

May repeated the same process with a shirt, and then grabbed several outfits once she had the appropriate sizing.

Stupid Ward. Stupid HYDRA. She promised herself she would kick him really hard in the shin, or stomp on his toe, or bite him the next time she saw him. Maybe she’d do all three. He definitely deserved it, even though those weren’t very nice things to think about doing to someone…

Skye was very happy to see the footed sleepers go in with the other clothing—she’d always wanted one of those, and she’d been too afraid to ask for one before. She was always cold at night. Her favorite was probably the one that looked like a dinosaur, complete with a tail, and a hood that had little felt teeth and everything—even the grown-up part of her brain thought it was adorable.

“Okay, next, socks and shoes.” May’s voice broke Skye out of her thoughts. They happened to be near the socks, at least, so May took a package from the rack and opened it, sliding a pair of socks onto Skye’s feet.

Skye smiled. “That’s better. My poor toes were cold.” She said, and May rubbed her feet.

“You have to tell me these things, Skye. I can’t read your mind.” May told her, but she didn’t sound upset.

Skye squirmed, embarrassed. “It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to whine, or be a pain.”

May squeezed her tight for a moment, and Skye felt a little better. “Skye, look at me, baby girl.”

Skye didn’t want to, May sounded like she was maybe a little upset, or frustrated with her, and she didn’t want to see that on May’s face. She felt bad enough about causing so much of a fuss, and she wanted to be as little of a burden as possible. But, at the same time, she wanted to be good, so she slowly met May’s gaze. She really wanted to suck her thumb, but she was big, and brave, and big, brave girls didn’t do that.

“You’re not a pain. I like taking care of you. I know this is all a little overwhelming for you, and I don’t blame you at all. Just…try to relax a little; I think that will help you more than you realize. Even though your mind is grown-up, your body isn’t anymore, and that means that you’re going to need help with lots of things. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t mean you’re a pain.”

Skye wanted to believe her so badly, but she didn’t know if she could. But she said: “Okay, Mommy.”

They had to pass through the toddler underwear section, so May grabbed some of the least childish kind and put them in the cart. They passed the aisle with the diapers and pacifiers next, and to Skye’s complete mortification, that was the aisle May turned the cart down next.

“Mommy, no,” Skye whined, unable to stop herself. “I don’t need diapers. I’m way too big.” She added, and then realized what she’d said.

May rubbed her back. “I don’t know about that, baby. Some of the stuff in this aisle is too big for you now. Besides, if you wet the bed as a grown-up, I’m fairly certain you probably will now, and I don’t think pull-ups would be enough for that, especially if you wet more than once over the course of the night.”

Skye didn’t say anything; May had a point—that didn’t mean she had to like it.

Diapers, wipes, powder, rash cream, and a diaper pail all went into the cart. Pull-ups, albeit in a smaller size, were added as well. Pacifiers too, but they could have just as easily been for Jemma, so Skye didn’t pay too much attention to them.

“What are those for?” Skye wondered about the pull-ups, though she thought she knew, but she didn’t want to think about the answer too much.

“I just want to be prepared.” May said, and after her close call with the potty— _toilet—_ earlier in the day, she couldn’t bring herself to argue. “Speaking of which, we should look at the carseats while we’re back here.”

Skye suppressed a groan and buried her head against May’s neck, and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening.

May continued on her way down the aisle, grabbing some toddler cups and a new bottle, before rounding the corner to look at the car seats.

Skye was not at all pleased to learn that the model she needed was a five-point restraint system, instead of just a simple booster seat. She was glad May didn’t comment on it other than to ask if it was comfortable, because the more they shopped, the more it was clear to her just exactly how vulnerable she was. She really just wanted to cry, and she didn’t think she could hold back the tears for much longer. She felt much better when they moved on to the shoes.

May grabbed several pairs of sneakers, and a pair of boots, and was just about to move on when Skye saw a pair of shoes she really liked. They were simple, a scaled-down version of the Chuck Taylors she had in her closet back on the bus, but unlike the other shoes May had picked out, these had laces.

“Mommy, can I have those?” Skye asked, pointing. She realized belatedly that there were several things she could’ve been pointing to, and May must have realized the same thing, because she put Skye down.

“Sure, why don’t you show me which ones, so I can find the right size.”

Skye scampered away to show Mommy— _May—_ the shoes she liked , pausing periodically to make sure May hadn’t moved—she was terrified of getting lost in such a big place with so many people.

May picked out the right box and Skye pulled one out, eager to try them on.

However, when she bent down to tie them, she realized something that stopped her cold. Her face was suddenly wet, and she felt trembly all over, heart seizing with dread; she realized, too late to do anything about it, that she was crying.

“What’s wrong, baby?” May sounded genuinely worried, and she was beside Skye in an instant.

It was hard to talk through all the tears—she was crying really hard, and she was _so_ scared, and she felt almost too little to talk, but she managed.

“I can’t do it.” Skye managed, and then burst into tears all over again. “What’s wrong with me? I remember how, but my fingers won’t listen to me…”

May held her close and stroked her hair, rocking gently until Skye calmed down.

“It’s muscle memory.” May explained. “Like I said before, Your mind is grow-up, but your body isn’t. You know how to tie your shoes, you remember what to do, but your body doesn’t have any experience with it. I know it’s scary, but it’ll be okay. You just need to practice.”

Skye sniffled. “I’m such a baby…” She held clung to May with all the strength she could muster, because she was terrified that she would fall apart if Mommy wasn’t holding her together. She needed Mommy so badly, she was little and broken and terrified, and she couldn’t even do something as simple as tying her shoes.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Skye. I think it would be good for you to be little now. It’s been a tough day, and you’re overwhelmed. Tomorrow is a fresh start, but for right now, just relax, and let me take care of you, okay?”

“’Kay.” Skye said, and she thought that was the best idea she’d heard all day. And then she felt it: as if the day hadn’t been awful enough already, she’d wet her pants on top of everything else.

“I’m wet, Mommy.” Skye admitted, and she wasn’t embarrassed. She was little. It was okay. And she was glad, because she didn’t feel like she needed to cry anymore.

“Good girl. Thank you for telling me. Let’s go get you changed, and then we’ll go for ice cream, does that sound good?”

Skye nodded. It sounded wonderful. Mommy didn’t let her have junk food often, so it was even more special. “Mommy?” She began, gathering her courage. “Can I wear a diaper? I know I said I was too big, but…” She didn’t know how to finish, and she looked away, embarrassed.

Mommy kissed the top of her head. “Of course you can, baby girl. I’m very proud of you for asking.”

Skye smiled. She liked that Mommy was proud of her; that meant that she was good, and that made her happy.

Mommy reached into the diaper bag and handed Skye her blanket and slid one of Jemma’s pacifiers into her mouth.

Skye smiled around the pacifier and snuggled her blanket as Mommy picked her up. The paci felt strange at first, but it fit in her mouth like her thumb did, so it wasn’t strange for very long. She cuddled close to Mommy and hugged her tight.

She finally felt safe, and all she’d needed was her Mommy. She felt a little silly that it had taken her this long to realize that.

“I love you, Mommy,” she said around the pacifier, so it came out a little garbled, but she knew Mommy would understand, because Mommy was super smart and knew pretty much everything.

“I love you too baby,” May said.


	3. Chapter 3

Skye was glad they’d stopped to eat. Her tummy had been growling for a while, but she hadn’t said anything, until Mommy had asked what kind of ice cream she wanted—cookie dough was what she was in the mood for—but she also insisted that Skye have some real food too, something with substance.

She’d found a jacket that was almost identical to the one May normally wore on the bus, and a pair of aviators that matched perfectly, even though they were much smaller. It made her happy to know that she could dress the same as Mommy, because Mommy was strong and brave and safe, so maybe if they looked alike, she would be too.,

Skye had wanted McDonald’s which Mommy had immediately vetoed, because she wanted Skye to eat something healthy. Skye hadn’t wanted Subway, so they’d compromised on pizza. The cashier had asked how old Skye was, and May had said she’d just turned two the month before, and Skye wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It was embarrassing, but it also made her feel like it was maybe okay that she felt so little.

It had seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, at least until Skye had realized how big the slice were—there was no way she’d be able to hold the slice and eat it like she normally would have. It was _huge_.

Her frustration must’ve shown on her face because May said: “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t let you starve.” And she produced a plastic knife and fork from her tray of food and began cutting the slice into small, bite-sized pieces.

It made Skye a little grumpy to find yet another thing she couldn’t do by herself, but she was too hungry to really dwell on it.

Mommy passed her the fork. “Here you go, sweetheart. Let me know if you need help, okay?”

“’Kay.” Skye answered. She speared one of the small pieces carefully, only to realize that she couldn’t hold the fork properly, it kept falling out of her hand. She grabbed it with her entire fist and she could hold it then, but it was much harder to feed herself without making a mess that way—she had a lot less control over the utensil.

The sippy cup was tough too; it was just a little too big to hold with one hand, so she had to use both. She almost asked for her bottle, because the cup was slippery and she was afraid of dropping it, but she didn’t because words were hard when she felt this little, and she didn’t want Mommy to be upset because she needed so much. It was slow going, but eventually she managed to finish the small portion that Mommy had cut for her, but she was full now—almost too full to eat ice cream.

“All done?” May asked.

Sky nodded. “I’m full mommy.”

May nodded and then reached into Skye’s diaper bag to get out a small container of baby wipes.

“You’re a mess, baby girl.” She said gently, dabbing at Skye’s face and hands with the wipe—she seemed to have gotten more food on her face than in her mouth, though, thankfully, none of it had gotten on her clothes. “There we go, all clean.” She kissed Skye’s temple.

“Can we still get ice cream?” Skye wondered. She was really full, and she wasn’t sure she could actually _eat_ any ice cream at the moment, but she wasn’t allowed treats very often, so she didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity.

“Maybe later, once you’ve had time to digest your food a little; I don’t want you to get sick.” May said, and Skye felt her eyes welling up without her permission. “It’s okay baby, I promise we will get ice cream before we leave.”

Skye reached for Mommy. She was sad, and a little sleepy—not sleepy enough for a nap, though, she was way too big for those—and she just wanted to be held.

May lifted Skye into her lap and rubbed her back gently.

Skye leaned against her, clinging to her shirt with one hand and her blanket with the other. She was glad that Mommy had found a clip for her pacifier so it was always with her, so she didn’t have to let go of her blanket for very long to put it in her mouth, and she wasn’t sure she’d be big enough to ask for it. The food court was full of people that were much bigger than she was, and it was noisy, and scary and she thought she might cry if she had to let go of either one for very long.

Mommy reached down and unsnapped a few of the fasteners in the crotch of the of the pink overalls she was currently wearing, and she felt a little embarrassed that she hadn’t even noticed them until now.

“I think it’s time for a diaper change, little one.” Mommy told her.

The grown-up part of her was scared about the fact that she hadn’t even realized that she was wet again, though it wasn’t really a big surprise. And besides, she was very little, and she was with Mommy; she didn’t have to worry about knowing if her diaper was clean.

Skye didn’t say anything, she just rested her head on Mommy’s shoulder and sucked her pacifier. She knew Mommy would take care of her.

Mommy took her to the bathrooms, and into a smaller room marked ‘Family Restroom/Baby Changing’. It was empty, and Skye was grateful for that; she wasn’t sure if she could handle being around people besides Mommy, the day had been stressful enough without having to interact with people she didn’t even know.

Skye thought it was nice that she fit on the changing table, even though it was a little scary to be changed on something so high off the ground.

Mommy was very gentle when she changed Skye, and the way she kept her hand on Skye’s tummy except when she needed to hold Skye’s legs up and fasten the new diaper made her feel much safer. It was also nice that she didn’t have to do anything to help—she was small enough now that May could handle the change without any help from Skye. But, that also made her realize how tired she was, she could barely keep her eyes open.

“Are you tired baby?” Mommy asked.

Skye shook her head and forced her eyes all the way open, even though that was really hard; they were _so_ heavy. “No. Not even a little.”

May chuckled a little. “Of course you’re not.”

“Do you want to try sitting on the potty while we’re here?” Mommy asked, and Skye’s tummy churned uncomfortably.

She thought that maybe it might be a good idea, because she felt like she might need to poop, but she was afraid. Potties were noisy, and she might fall in, and she’d need lots of help, and that would be embarrassing. Diapers were safe, almost as safe as being held by Mommy or Daddy, and definitely safer than cuddling with her stuffed animals. Especially these ones, because they came all the way up to the middle of her back, and almost covered her belly button, so she knew she was definitely safe in them. And Elmo was on them, and she really liked him.

She knew that Mommy or Daddy would take care of her no matter what while she was in diapers, and she didn’t want to give up that security, especially after she’d had such an overwhelming day.

And, Mommy would have to put her down, and she wasn’t ready to be away from Mommy yet.

Skye shook her head slowly. Tears welled up because she knew that big, brave girls used the potty and weren’t scared, but she didn’t feel big, or brave, and she was definitely scared. “Am I bad?” she asked.

May leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Of course not, baby girl. I don’t mind changing you. If you’re afraid, or you don’t feel big enough to use the potty, that’s perfectly okay.”

Skye sucked on her pacifier a little before she asked the next question, because she was afraid of what Mommy’s answer would be. “Even if I have icky diapers?”

May nodded and kissed her forehead again. “Even then. I love you, Skye, and I want you to feel safe. I won’t be mad at you if you don’t want to use the potty right now. Most two year olds are just starting potty-training anyway, it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

“I’m not really two, though. Not for real. I don’t want to be a burden…”

“You’re not. You’re never a burden, Skye. Even though we don’t always agree, and sometimes you can really try my patience, I love you more than I know how to tell you. I wouldn’t trade being your Mommy for anything in the world.”

Skye smiled. She felt much better after hearing that. She yawned enormously.

“I think someone’s getting a little sleepy. It’ll be naptime when we get back, okay?”

“No!” Skye was surprised when her leg kicked the changing table all on its own. The sound it mad was very loud, especially in the small room. “No nap!”

Mommy held her down gently, but firmly so she couldn’t flail around anymore. “Skye, is that how we talk to grown ups?”

Skye was suddenly embarrassed, and a little ashamed. She should’ve known better than to freak out like that.

“No, Mommy. I’m sorry. I’ll be good.” Skye looked away.

Mommy kissed her cheek, and brushed her hair away from her face. “I know it’s hard, sweetheart. But, your body’s needs are very different from what they were before, and needing more sleep is one of them. _If_ you can take your nap for the next three days without making a fuss, assuming we haven’t heard back from Stark and Banner by then, I’ll consider letting you skip them, but that means an earlier bedtime, okay?”

Skye nodded reluctantly. She didn’t want an earlier bedtime, but everyone always seemed to be laughing and carrying on when she got up from her naps in the afternoon—she felt like she was missing out on a big party, or something, and she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

“Okay, Mommy.” She said.

Mommy picked Skye up again and sat her on the counter next to her while she threw the old diaper away and washed her hands.

“Thank you for being such a big girl and not arguing, Skye. I’m proud of you. What do you think about going for ice cream now?”

“That sounds really yummy!” Skye answered honestly. “Can I have cookie dough flavor?”

“Of course,” Mommy said, and scooped her up, patting her bottom gently. “Anything for my baby girl.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Skye woke up as Mommy was unbuckling her from her car seat. She guessed she must’ve fallen asleep on the way back from the mall. She drifted, floating in the semi-awareness between wakeful and unconsciousness. She stirred a little when Mommy picked her up, and then rested her head on Mommy’s shoulder.

“Hey, sweetheart. We’re home. You can go back to sleep if you’re still tired…” Mommy said softly.

Skye was still tired, and her limbs felt heavy and limp, but she tried to wake herself up a little more—she should probably try to help with the bags, since all the stuff was for her anyway.

“Can I help?” She wondered, lifting her head up so she could look at May.

“It’s okay; there’s only a few bags, and one of the others can get them—Thank you for offering though baby.”

FitzSimmons were in the lounge when they got inside.

“Have you heard anything from Stark or Banner yet?” May asked.

“Yes…” Jemma answered hesitantly.

“Give it to me straight, Simmons,” May said.

“The good news is that whatever Skye got hit with isn’t lethal…However, she might be stuck like this indefinitely.”

Skye tensed, and a whimpered escaped her before she could stop it. She didn’t want to be stuck like this forever…

May bounced her a little, and made a gentle shushing noise, and it was enough like rocking that it helped to quell her panic.

Jemma looked a little scared, and a little sad, and that made Skye sad too. She thought maybe she should give her a hug, because hugs were safe and always made her feel better, but she was too little to hug anything except Jemma’s leg. Maybe they could cuddle later, since that was mostly the same.

“What else did they say?” Mommy asked.

Skye sucked her pacifier and tried not to be too unsettled by what Jemma was saying.

“Apparently, this serum is derived from the same supersoldier serum that gave Captain America his powers. While it’s true that no one has successfully been able to replicate it, HYDRA thought they could break it down, and use it to extend the lives of their commanding officers. And, as you can see it worked a little too well. Banner and Stark are working on the antiserum now, but there’ve been some… _complications_.”

“Meaning?”

“The antiserum works, but Skye will age four times faster than normal if we give it to her now. They’re working on a fix, but it’s going to take some time. In the meantime, Doctor Banner said we should be on alert for side effects of the serum, in the reports they managed to find, they learned that it can affect coordination and memory, though the degree varied from subject to subject. I’m sorry Skye; I wish I had better news to give you.”

“It’s okay…It’s not your fault. Could be worse, right?” Skye tried to smile, but then remembered that her pacifier was still in her mouth. She took it out quickly, but the moment had past and she felt awkward. “Hey, Fitz” she said, trying to change the subject before the awkward silence got any heavier.

“Hey Skye,” Fitz answered, waving.

“Can you put me down?” Skye asked, and May set her gently on the floor. She walked over to FitzSimmons, struck again by how _big_ everything was. The coffee table she’d banged her shin against just yesterday was level with her waist. She frowned.

Fitz got off the couch and knelt on the floor so he and Skye were at eye level, and Skye was grateful, it helped her not to feel so vulnerable.

“You look so precious in that outfit,” Jemma said and Skye felt a little embarrassed, like maybe she wanted to crawl under the coffee table and hide from all the attention.

“Thank you,” she said, unsure of how else to respond.

“You’re just a wee little thing now, aren’t you?” Fitz said, and he sounded a little shocked.

Skye didn’t blame him, but she glared at him anyway—there really hadn’t been a need to point out the obvious.

Fitz held up his hands, palms out, in the universal gesture of surrender. “I’m only making an observation.”

Skye huffed.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” Fitz wondered.

Skye wasn’t, but she didn’t answer right away—it was kind of fun making him squirm. “No, I’m not. I’m just, trying to adjust. Everything is so _big_...”

“Well, I know what we could do…” Fitz said. “Simmons said that the serum could affect your coordination, and memory, so why don’t we go play some games, get a baseline to keep track of everything with, yeah? Sound like fun?”

Skye hesitated. She wasn’t sure she wanted to leave Mommy because she was safest with her or Daddy. But, Fitz was the first person who had gotten down to her level to talk to her, instead of making her crane her neck to see their face, and that made her trust him. “I guess. You’re not gonna stab me with needles again are you? Simmons was already mean to me today…” Skye wanted to suck her paci again just thinking about it, but she didn’t. She wanted Fitz to see her as a friend, instead of a kid who was underfoot, and it would be embarrassing to rely on it so much in front of him.

“No needles,” Fitz promised, and Skye felt better. “Do you mind if Jemma plays with us? I think she might get lonely if we leave her up here all by herself.” He said it in a stage whisper, and when Skye looked over, Jemma was nodding and looking thoroughly put-out.

“As long as she promises not to stick me with needles again, it’s okay.” Skye decided after a moment of thought. She was still a little scared of Doctor Simmons and her needles, but she wanted to be nice. She looked over at Mommy. Even though she knew Leo and Jemma wouldn’t hurt her, she was still afraid to leave Mommy, even if it was only for a little while.

“You should go play, baby, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep when it’s naptime later.” Mommy said.

Skye wanted to protest; she was way too big to need naps—she’d only fallen asleep in the car because she was overwhelmed from the shopping trip. Not because she was sleepy, because she hadn’t been. Not even a tiny bit.

But, she didn’t want Leo and Jemma to think she was a baby, even though they’d seen her sucking on a pacifier, and the way she was dressed didn’t look adult at all. She felt very little, but she was afraid that they wouldn’t want to be around her if she was too babyish.

So she said: “Okay, Mommy,” And she turned to Leo expectantly without even asking for a hug and a kiss first, which she really wanted to do.

“Right,” Leo said and clapped his hands briskly. It kind of made Skye want to clap too, but she wasn’t sure what he was clapping about, and she didn’t want to look silly. “Off we go. Do you want a lift?” he asked.

Skye thought about it, and then nodded. There was no way she’d be able to keep up with them.

Leo reached down and grabbed Skye under the arms and lifted her into the air with a little toss.

Skye yelped when she realized that she was airborne. Leo caught her on the way back down, and she giggled despite herself.

“Again! Again!”

“Careful Fitz,” Jemma intoned, and she sounded worried, but Skye couldn’t imagine why; Fitz was super strong, so she knew he wouldn’t drop her.

Fitz tossed her into the air again.

“Careful,” Mommy warned, but she didn’t sound upset. “She just ate.”

Fitz caught her and nodded. “Right.”

Skye waved bye-bye to Mommy as Fitz carried her away, and she blew a kiss, because she felt guilty for not asking for one earlier.

Mommy smiled and waved back.

The lab was full of all kinds of fun-looking things, but Fitz hadn’t set her down yet, so she couldn’t really explore.

“Wow…” Skye said. “This where you work?”

Fitz stiffened. “Yes. Don’t you remember?”

Skye nodded and looked away from him, embarrassed, and sad that she’d scared him. “I just feel really little. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“That’s okay, Skye. Don’t worry about it. It’s like Phil always says: ‘you’re only as big as you feel’. However in this case…”

“Hey…” Skye whined, but Fitz tickled her before she could get too upset. She wet her diaper from laughing so hard, but she didn’t say anything. She was little, it wasn’t her responsibility.

Fitz had been rightHi, the games were fun. They played catch, and built towers out of blocks, and practiced running and jumping and balancing on one foot. Jemma even colored with her, but she’d been taking notes the whole time, and Skye wasn’t sure what that meant.

After a few minutes, Fitz left because he’d remembered that he needed to finish something for Coulson, leaving Skye alone with Jemma. Skye thought she looked sad, so she went over and patted her leg.

Jemma paused from whatever she was working on, and Skye took the opportunity to climb into her lap. She fussed with the pacifier clip for a moment—her hands weren’t quite strong enough to unclip it without difficulty, and then offered it to Jemma.

She looked sad, and Skye knew that pacifiers were almost as important as cuddles when you were sad.

“You’re so sweet,” Jemma told her and kissed her cheek. “But I have mine,.” She patted the pocket of her lab coat.

“Will we have quiet time now?” Skye wondered. She didn’t want to admit it, but Mommy had been right; she was starting to maybe get a little bit sleepy. But she didn’t want to tell Jemma, because Jemma was a big girl, and she didn’t want her to think she was a baby. She leaned against Jemma and sucked her thumb a little.

“We can, if you want. Are you sleepy, little one?”

“Maybe,” Skye hedged, embarrassed. She felt very little and she wondered if Jemma would hold her. She cuddled closer, testing the waters. “Only a little bit though,” she said around her thumb.

Jemma sniffled suddenly, and Skye panicked a little; she wasn’t big, she didn’t know how to fix it if Jemma was crying, not like Mommy and Daddy would.

“I’m sorry Skye.” She said again. “I’m trying to get you back to normal, I really am. But I can’t do it by myself. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Skye got up onto her knees very carefully, since she was on Jemma’s lap and didn’t want to fall, since that would probably hurt a lot. She patted Jemma’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You’ll protect me, right?”

Jemma nodded, and wiped her eyes. “Of course I will.”

“Then it’s not so bad. I can cuddle with you without squashing you now.” Skye wrapped her arms around Jemma’s neck, hoping that a hug would make her feel better.

“I suppose that’s true,” Jemma agreed, and Skye could hear the beginnings of a smile in her voice.

“You’ll have to help me sneak cookies, though. I don’t think I can climb up on the counters by myself, and you know Daddy keeps all the best cookies on top of the fridge.”

“Okay,”

Skye wriggled a little bit when she realized she was wetting her diaper again. She thought maybe she should be concerned that she hadn’t even felt it coming this time, but she was little, so she wasn’t too worried about it. Her diaper was noticeably heavier now, and she thought that she should probably ask to get changed, but it was embarrassing to ask Jemma.

“Do you need a fresh nappy?” Jemma wondered, patting her bottom absently.

“How did you know?” Skye mumbled against Jemma’s shirt, having hidden her face in embarrassment.

“Your new nappies aren’t exactly quiet, darling.” She said, rubbing Skye’s back. “And, you fidget when you wetting, you always do when you’re little.”

“I do?”

Jemma nodded. “It’s okay, though. It’s cute. Do you want a change now? I think you’re pretty wet, love, and you don’t want to get a rash.”

It was strange to have Jemma ask her that question, but she nodded anyway. Rashes hurt.

Jemma stood and settled Skye on her hip. “We should go find Mommy.” She said.

“Are you taking a nap too?” Skye asked.

Jemma shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’m not tired. But I’ll stay and cuddle with you if you want.”

Skye rested her head on Jemma’s shoulder and smiled to herself. It was nice to know that Jemma was willing to look after her too, even though she was a lot of work. “I’d like that.” She said.


	5. Chapter 5

Skye’s mouth was very dry when she woke up; her tongue felt like a blob of cotton wool. She was hot, and she’d been sweating, so she pulled off the sweatpants Mommy had dressed her in before her nap and curled into Jemma’s side.

Jemma ran he fingers through Skye’s hair, massaging her scalp. It was very soothing.

Skye opened her eyes and looked up at Jemma. She didn’t look like she’d been sleeping, but she looked peaceful, sucking her paci and reading.

“Hi there, cutie,” she said. She took her dummy out and put it on the nightstand next to the bed before stroking Skye’s cheek gently. “Did you have a nice nap?”

Skye thought about it; she didn’t remember any bad dreams, so she nodded. She got onto her knees and gave Jemma a hug, because she really wanted to cuddle. Jemma rubbed her back, reaching under her shirt just like Mommy did, and her skin was warm and soft against Skye’s and she was so gentle, and Skye felt very little and very safe.

“How are you doing?” Jemma asked.

“I’m thirsty.” Skye said.

Jemma reached over and took Skye’s bottle from the nightstand. “I think we can fix that.”

Skye settled into Jemma’s arms—it was nice that she was small enough to fit there properly. Jemma’s hand patted her bottom while her other hand held the bottle for Skye. Her fingers fisted in Jemma’s shirt all by themselves.

“Aww,” Jemma cooed. “You’re adorable. We don’t get to cuddle like this very often, do we?”

Skye shook her head. “I’m not normally the size of a two-year-old either.” She pointed out.

“Still. It’s nice.” Jemma added. “Do you need to be changed?”

Skye squirmed. “Not yet.” She wasn’t sure she was comfortable with Jemma changing her diaper yet. “Can I have cookies?” she asked, eager to change the subject. “You promised to help me sneak some…”

“Didn’t you just have ice cream this afternoon? I know you’ve got your baby teeth, but you don’t want to get cavities do you?”

“Jem _ma_.” Skye whined. Jemma was supposed to be little, like her, and she was being way too grown-up and responsible for Skye’s liking. “Please?” She distorted the word on purpose. “I bet you want some too.” She continued. She nudged Jemma with her elbow, but it was strange because she was so little, and she wasn’t sure Jemma could really feel it. “There’s chocolate chip, and sugar cakes, and snickerdoodles, and Daddy made some of those peanut butter ones you like too, so I bet there’s some in there.”

Jemma didn’t say anything, but Skye could tell she was considering it.

“And, we’ll have milk with them, and we can dunk them until they get soft and mushy; that’s my favorite part. ‘Specially when it’s Oreo cookies.”

“Alright, alright, fine. I’ll help you sneak some cookies. Don’t eat too many though. If you spoil your dinner, we’ll both be in trouble. You might want to put your pants back on; I don’t know who’s in the kitchen.”

Skye fidgeted, embarrassed. She thought maybe she was getting a little too comfortable with being little, but she couldn’t think of anything to do about it. “Can you help me?”

Jemma gently moved Skye off of her lap and slid her discarded sweatpants on for her. “There we are. Ready?”

“Uh-huh. Will you carry me?” Skye held out her arms.

Jemma picked her up and stood. “I think you’re just lazy. You’re perfectly capable of walking; I’ve seen.”

Skye pouted. “I’m clingy. There’s a difference.” Skye corrected as Jemma stepped out into the hallway. “Shh. We gots to be quiet.” She warned.

“That’s not a word, Skye.” Jemma said.

“I’m little.” Skye replied. “It doesn’t matter if I don’t talk right. You know what I mean.”

“That isn’t grammatically correct, either.”

Skye pouted again. “You’re mean.” She said, but she didn’t really mean it.

“I hardly think so.” Jemma countered. “I’m helping you sneak cookies, aren’t I?”

“Fine. You’re not mean.” Skye answered, and sucked her thumb. She kind of wanted her paci, but she didn’t want to ask Jemma to go back for it. She also wanted her blanket, but it was in May’s bedroom too, and she felt safe with Jemma. She didn’t need it right now.

The kitchen was empty when they arrived. Jemma took the cookie jar down from on top of the fridge and placed it on the table.

She put Skye down and told her to go wash her hands, and Skye just waited by the doorway to the kitchen because she was too little to reach the sink. She fidgeted impatiently while Jemma got two small plates out of the cupboard and placed them on the table as well; she was just getting the mugs for milk when Bobbi and Hunter walked in.

“Sorry to hear about what happened to you, Skye.” Bobbi said, kneeling down so she and Skye were more or less at eye level. “It must be rough.”

“It’s different. But, it could be worse.” Skye replied. She shuffled forward and gave Bobbi a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay too.”

“You’re adorable, though. I could just eat you up!” Bobbi smiled and nibbled gently on Skye’s neck, making exaggerated chomping noises.

Skye laughed. She was glad that Bobbi knew about her Little side—she was like a big sister to Skye, and that was good, because even though Jemma was older even when she was Little, Skye didn’t think it was fair to need so much from her; she needed her Little time just as much as Skye did, sometimes more, even though she didn’t always admit that.

“Hey brat,” Lance said. “Looks like you got the short straw. Can’t say it’s much different than how you normally are, though.”

Skye stuck her tongue out at him, and smiled when he responded in kind.

Bobbi smacked his arm. “Don’t encourage her. I swear, you’re worse than she is sometimes.”

“I’m a bad influence.” Lance replied, smirking. “That’s why you love me.”

Bobbi just rolled her eyes. “That’s debatable on some days.” She turned to Skye and Jemma. “What are you two up to?”

Skye played with the hem of her shirt, suddenly nervous, afraid that Bobbi would be upset that they were eating junk food before dinner. She was a great big sister, but she could be a lot like Mommy sometimes, strict and firm. Jemma tried to be too, sometimes, but it was easier to ignore because she was little too. She still had bottles, and naps, and wore diapers, or pull-ups, even if it wasn’t quite as often as Skye.

Bobbi didn’t do any of those things, she was definitely a grown-up.

“Nothing…” Skye said, and stared at her feet. The socks she had on had pink toes, and she thought they were pretty.

“Really?” Bobbi poked her in the tummy, and she giggled, even though she was trying to be serious. “Nothing huh? Because it almost looks like you were about to have dessert before dinner…”

“Are you gonna tell on us?” Skye wondered, swallowing hard. Mommy wouldn’t be happy to hear that.

“Only if you don’t share.” Bobbi said, and smiled.

They sat down at the table together, and even Lance joined them. Skye liked him. He was mean sometimes, but he was mostly fun, and he liked to play pranks on people, and that was funny, unless it was her.

Skye was only allowed one cookie, and at first she was upset, because everyone else got more, but then she remembered that she was little, and she couldn’t eat as much—besides, the cookie _had_ been pretty big.

Her tummy twinged painfully, and she remembered that she still hadn’t gone potty yet. But Mommy wasn’t here, and she felt way too little to go by herself. And she didn’t want to ask Bobbi to take her with Lance and Jemma right there. She carefully got down out of her chair.

“Where are you off to, munchkin?” Bobbi asked.

“I’m gonna go play. I’m bored.” Skye answered, trying to keep her expression neutral as her stomach clenched again.

“Fitz brought the toys from earlier up to the ruckus room.” Jemma offered helpfully.

“Okay,” Skye said, and scampered off. She arrived in the rec room, and bent over to rummage through the toy chest. Her stomach clenched painfully, and before she registered what was happening, her diaper was filling.

She made a face. It was warm and squishy, and it smelled, but she definitely wasn’t about to go find Bobbi and ask her to change her diaper. Not like this. She sniffled. She’d been stupid. She should have just asked someone to take her to the potty, and gotten over her embarrassment; she wasn’t sure having a mess in her diaper was any better than needing lots of help in the bathroom.

But, she was little, and afraid, and vulnerable, and her diapers were safe. So, maybe it was okay. But, she still needed to be changed, and she wasn’t sure what to do, because she didn’t know where Mommy and Daddy were. She took out some of the blocks from the chest and sat back on her heels; she wrinkled her nose as the contents of her diaper shifted. Yuck.

She did her best to ignore the feeling and started building a tower out of blocks to distract herself.

“Skye?”

She froze. That was Daddy’s voice. She felt a tug on the back of her pants and scrambled away from it, eyes welling with tears. She was so _bad_. Mommy had said she was okay with icky diapers, but Daddy hadn’t and he’d probably be mad at her for making a mess.

“I’m sorry!” she said. She couldn’t handle it if he decided to get rid of her because she was too much of a baby to be on his team, regardless of what Mommy had told her. “I couldn’t hold it…”

“It’s okay.” Daddy said. He wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs and pulled her into a hug. “I’m not upset.”

“You’re not?” Skye repeated, pressing her face against his shirt, holding onto him like her life depended on it. She felt like it did.

“I’m not, baby girl. It’s not the end of the world. We just need to change your diaper, and you’ll be good as new.”

Skye sniffled and looked away from him. “I was embarrassed to ask Bobbi to take me potty. And scared. I’m bad…”

“Not bad,” Daddy corrected gently, rubbing her back. “Just little. You’ve been through a lot—I think you need some little time, it might help you adjust. And, until we find a fix, you’re going to need help with a lot of things anyway, so it doesn’t really matter whether you use the potty or your diaper, someone’s going to help you either way. And that’s okay. It takes a much braver person to ask for help than to try and handle things on their own.”

“That’s what Mommy said.” Skye admitted. “I just…I don’t want to forget how to be big. That’s what scares me the most.”

“I don’t think you’ll forget. And even if you do, Mommy and I are here to help you. And so is Jemma, and Leo, and everyone else on the team. We’re a family Skye. Don’t forget that.” Daddy kissed her forehead. “Now, let’s go get you cleaned up, it’s almost time for supper.” He lifted her up, careful not to put too much pressure on her butt, and headed off in the direction of May’s bedroom.

Skye sucked her thumb and rested her head on Daddy’s shoulder. She felt very little. But that was okay.

Daddy would look after her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye has some serious separation anxiety.
> 
> Thanks to FireRebel for the suggestion about the veggies!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for emetophobics: some vomiting caused by distress happens in this chapter. Also, there is mention of nursing (No lactation)

Skye picked at her food. The chicken nuggets had been really good, but that meant all that was left on her plate was the broccoli. She hated broccoli. Even when she’d been grown-up, she hadn’t liked it very much, and now, she didn’t know how it was possible, but it actually seemed to taste _worse_.

Mommy and Daddy were talking about important, boring grown-up stuff, and part of her thought she should pay attention, like a good agent should, but she didn’t. Fitz was teasing Jemma, and it was nice to see them happy again, almost like the old days.

It had been Bobbi’s turn to make dinner, and she was busy putting the finishing touches on dessert, so Skye took the opportunity to sneak some of her vegetables onto Hunter’s plate. Mommy and Daddy had both told her several times about how important it was to eat healthy, and Daddy always teased that she wouldn’t grow up to be a big, strong agent without her fruits and vegetables.

Skye didn’t feel very big, or strong, and it didn’t look like she was going to do any growing up any time soon, so she figured it was kind of pointless to subject herself to needless suffering. Still, she had to keep up appearances, so whenever Mommy or Daddy looked her way, she made sure to eat the smallest piece of broccoli she could find on the plate. She’d been doing that for a while though, so the pieces were getting steadily bigger.

Hunter, on the other hand seemed to actually _like_ broccoli, which Skye didn’t understand at all—even when she was all-grown-up, she didn’t think she ever like something that tasted so yucky. _Again_ she amended. _All grown up again_.

She swallowed the last morsel of broccoli, silently congratulating herself on managing to get through dinner without actually eating all of her vegetables. She tried hard not to smile, because that would give her away.

“All done,” Skye said, shifting in her chair. They didn’t have a booster seat for her, so Daddy had piled a bunch of really big books on her chair so she could reach the table. It was nice to be able to eat like a big kid— _adult—_ instead of being fed on Mommy’s lap, which was nice sometimes too, but the books weren’t exactly comfortable, and her butt was starting to hurt from sitting so long. “Can I go play now? Until dessert is ready?” Skye tried to be big and not fidget or squirm, but it was hard.

“Sure sweetheart. We’ll let you know when it’s done.” Daddy said.

Skye climbed carefully down out of her chair and padded around the table to Jemma’s side. She grabbed Jemma’s arm and pulled.

“Come play with me.” She said. She and Jemma had hardly had any little time together lately, even before the incident, and it was boring to play by herself.

Jemma blushed, and Skye thought that maybe she was embarrassed about having her little side acknowledged in front of everyone; Skye honestly didn’t understand what the big deal was, there was nothing wrong with being little. They weren’t hurting anyone, and it was safe and it made them happy. It could be a little embarrassing sometimes, but it was much better than trying to be big all the time.

“Come _on_ ,” Skye bounced a little on the balls of her feet, hoping to emphasize the need for haste. Sometimes she wondered if being slow happened when you got old—grown-ups took _forever_ to do stuff.

“Go on, Jemma,” May encouraged. “I think a little down time would be good for you.”

Jemma ducked her head. “Okay.” She slid out of her chair and took Skye’s hand. “What do you want to do?” She looked at Skye.

Skye shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do; she just didn’t want to sit anymore. “You can pick. I’m bored.” She admitted. She was surprised when Jemma lifted her up and settled her on her hip.

“Come on, then. I’m sure we can find something fun to do.”

*.*.*.*.

They’d just finished building their castle out of blocks when Mommy came to find them.

“Your castle looks nice.” Mommy said, and she kissed Jemma’s cheek and stroked her hair. Jemma leaned into the touch and closed her eyes while she sucked her dummy, and Skye thought maybe she was sad about something, and she was glad Mommy was there, because she didn’t know how to fix it.

“Is it for your dragons?” May asked, sitting down on the floor between them; Skye climbed into her lap and Jemma curled into her side, her pacifier moving rhythmically in her mouth.

Skye nodded. “Uh-huh. They’re the queens of the castle.” Skye explained around her thumb. “And Ada Lovelace is their advisor, because she’s very smart; Daddy says elephants are very wise.” Mommy rubbed her back, and she thought maybe she was starting to get sleepy again, but she didn’t say anything.

“And Ben is the scribe.” Jemma added, but she took her pacifier out to talk, and that made her sound much bigger than Skye.

“What’s a scribe?” Skye wondered.

Jemma rolled her eyes, and Skye felt bad, like she’d asked a stupid question, and Jemma was irritated with her. She didn’t know why Jemma was so grumpy all of a sudden, but then she thought that maybe she was tired too; she’d had to be big a lot, and she’d been working very hard to help find a cure for Skye’s condition, so that was understandable.

“He writes down important stuff,” she explained.

“We’ll have to take a picture of it later; you guys did a really good job. I came down to tell you that dessert is ready, but I need to talk to Skye for a minute first. You can go awhile, Jemma, Bobbi made those peanut butter cookie you like.”

Jemma got up and headed for the kitchen, but not before spearing Skye with a particularly venomous glare over May’s shoulder as she left.

Skye was glad Mommy was holding her—she didn’t think she’d ever seen Jemma so upset before, at least not with her, and she was scared. She sucked her thumb and tried to focus on the fact that Mommy had her and she was safe, and that helped a lot.

“What did you want to talk about?” Skye asked. “Did I do something wrong?” She couldn’t remember doing anything bad, but maybe she had…it was hard to be good all the time when she was little; there were so many rules, and it was difficult to remember them all. Plus, she wasn’t very good at making decisions when she was little, and that didn’t help either.

“No, you didn’t do anything bad; unless there’s something you’d like to tell me…” May trailed off and raised an eyebrow at Skye.

Skye wished she could do that. She’d tried, practiced in the mirror even, but she couldn’t do it without holding one eyebrow still with her finger, and she always felt a little silly afterwards. Practicing facial expressions in a mirror didn’t seem like a very grown-up thing to do.

Skye thought hard before she shook her head. She always got in more trouble if she didn’t come clean when she was bad (provided Mommy or Daddy hadn’t already caught her in the act). Mommy said that not telling when you were bad, or leaving parts of the story out was called ‘omission’ and that it was almost as bad as lying.

“Um, I eated a cookie ‘fore dinner? And I gave some broccoli to Hunter ‘cause it was yucky…” Skye confessed, playing with the hem of her shirt. She was probably going to get in trouble now, and that was never any fun.

May smiled and kissed Skye’s forehead. “I already know about that. Bobbi told me about the cookies. You’ve had a tough day, and I think you deserved a treat for being so well-behaved. And, I saw you sneaking broccoli to Hunter, but I also saw you eat some, so that’s okay too. Don’t make a habit of it though; you need to eat your veggies if you want to grow up big and strong.”

Skye nodded. She was happy Mommy wasn’t mad.

“I wanted to talk to you because Daddy and I have to leave tomorrow, just for a little bit. We’ll be back a little after bedtime.”

Skye went rigid. Her eyes burned and her tummy clenched in dread. She should have known. Everyone left her, eventually, even though they always said they wouldn’t. But she’d thought that Mommy and Daddy were different. They loved her, and she loved them, and she _needed_ them. Especially now. She didn’t know if she could be big and take care of herself now, but it looked like she was going to have to, and that was scary.

She tried to be big, and brave, and not cry, but the tears came before she could stop them, and her whole body was shaking, and she was _so_ scared. She felt raw and exposed, she was _so little_ and her diaper was wet, and she had no idea how she would ever be okay if Mommy wasn’t there to hold her and rock her and take care of her.

She wanted to get up and show Mommy that she could be big, that she could leave and it wouldn’t matter, because Skye knew how to take care of herself. But she couldn’t do it. It was too scary. She was safe with Mommy, and maybe if she held on tight enough, Mommy wouldn’t leave her.

“Don’t go.” Skye pleaded, pressing her face into Mommy’s shirt. “I need you.”

“I know.” Mommy said, and she rocked Skye a little. “I haven’t gone yet. I need to go talk to Doctor Banner and Mister Stark about you, see if they’ve come up with anything we can use, and sometimes that goes better in person than over the phone.”

“I don’t want them to fix me.” Skye admitted. “I like being like this. I like having a Mommy and Daddy that hold me and change me and love me. I’ve never had that before. So I don’t want them to fix me. Not if it means you’ll stay. What if you leave and decide you don’t want me anymore? What if I’m too much work?” Skye sniffled. She felt awful and sad and afraid.

Everyone left her. Even the people who said they’d love her forever and ever. Her foster parents, and now her Mommy and Daddy. She didn’t know what she was going to do.

“Skye, look at me.” Mommy gently lifted her chin with a finger so their eyes met. “That’s never going to happen. Never. I’m never going to abandon you.”

“But you’re leaving me!” Skye shouted. She’d forgotten to use her inside voice, but she was sad and afraid, and she didn’t care. “Everyone leaves me. They always do! And I…” she started crying all over again, and her stomach churned, and she thought she might throw up. “I thought you were different.” She finished quietly and turned herself away from May. She tried to stand up and walk away, but May held her still.

“This is different, baby girl. I know it’s hard to understand, but I’m only leaving so I can help you. And it’s not forever; it’s only for day. What if you change your mind later? Won’t it be nice to be able to go back to being your old self?” If Mommy was surprised, Skye couldn’t tell by her voice.

“No.” Skye answered immediately. She thought it would be nice. Maybe. A long time from now. But if she said that, then Mommy would have to leave, and she didn’t want that.

“I don’t think you mean that, Skye.” Mommy called her bluff. “But it’s okay if you do. I’m not leaving until after breakfast tomorrow morning, so we’ve still got some time. Do you want to go back to the kitchen and eat dessert?”

Skye shook her head. She didn’t want to be away from Mommy right now. “I don’t want ‘ssert.” She said.

“Are you sure?” Mommy asked, and felt Skye’s forehead with the back of her hand. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I just want you to hold me.” Skye confessed. She was still crying, but she didn’t feel sick to her stomach anymore. Her diaper was starting to get cold, but she didn’t say anything because she needed to be held more than she needed to be changed, so she just snuggled closer to Mommy.

“You need a new diaper, baby girl.” Mommy said, and Skye wondered how she knew without checking.

“Can I have a bottle too? With chocolate milk?” Skye asked.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “Of course.”

*.*.*.*.

Skye didn’t want to move.

She’d slept in Mommy’s bed last night, and she’d gotten to nurse before bed, and Mommy had held her while she was asleep. It had been the safest she’d felt in…ever. She was sticky and sweaty, since Mommy had been holding her, and she was wet, which wasn’t really a surprise. But, she knew, as soon as she moved, Mommy would wake up, and change her diaper, and then it would be time for breakfast, and then she would be gone.

Skye sniffled and sucked on her pacifier, fighting tears. She was grateful she had it, at least, because she’d definitely have cried without something to suck on, and she’d have had to move to suck on her thumb. Still, she wasn’t entirely successful, and a lone tear rolled down her cheek and dripped off her chin.

Right onto Mommy’s forehead.

Skye froze. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t wipe off the tear without moving, but Mommy would definitely wake up if she left it there.

But it was too late, Mommy was already stirring awake. She patted Skye’s bottom.

“I think someone needs a diaper change.” She said, opening her eyes and kissing Skye’s forehead.

“No.” Skye replied, shaking her head vigorously.

“Skye, this isn’t up for discussion. You’ll get a rash if I don’t change you. You don’t want that, right?” Mommy asked.

Skye didn’t, but diaper rash was infinitely preferable to Mommy leaving her. Already she could feel the cold sense of dread trickling down her spine like ice, and the terrible, paralyzing vulnerability that came with being truly alone.

Skye had been scared before, plenty of times. She knew what it felt like. But this…

This was an entirely different kind of fear.

Even the air was sharp. The blankets around her legs were made of sandpaper, grating across skin already raw and sensitive. The sunlight trickling in through the window was bright and searing, the carpet smoked where the light touched it. She’d always thought the light was good and safe, and chased away the monsters. But if it did this…

It would probably be better just to let the monsters eat her.

She was crying in earnest now. Everything was too much. The world was too big and too scary, and she couldn’t handle it without her Mommy.

But Mommy would be leaving soon, and then she would be all alone in this awful, dangerous, horrible place with no one to protect her. Her heart was pounding, and her breath was coming in short, shallow gasps; she was dizzy and felt sick.

“Baby? Are you okay? You’re shaking…” Mommy asked, and brushed some hair away from her forehead.

Skye almost couldn’t talk, words were too hard, and she was too little and too scared. “Don’t go, Mommy. Please. I’m not brave, and I’m scared, and I’m too little for you to leave me.”

Mommy sat up and rocked her. “Shh. I’m right here, baby. Mommy’s got you. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Skye clenched her fingers in Mommy’s shirt as tight as she could; and she kept holding on while Mommy changed her diaper. She felt better after; a clean diaper was always nice, but she was still morbidly terrified of Mommy leaving her.

Time passed entirely too fast after that. She was even allowed to have leftover cake for breakfast, but her tummy was too upset from being scared for her to eat more than a couple bites. Bobbi had to pry her fingers off of Mommy’s shirt so she could leave, and Skye thought she’d never hated anyone more in her whole life.

Her stomach clenched awfully, and she managed to make it to the bathroom before she threw up on the floor.

Bobbi was right behind her the whole way. She rubbed Skye’s back and held her hair out of the way.

“Poor baby,” she said.

“Shut up!” Skye snapped, but it didn’t have the bite she intended, because she was weak from throwing up. “Only Mommy is allowed to call me that!”

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” Bobbi backpedaled, her voice still soothing, but Skye didn’t want her. She wanted Mommy.

“Go away!” Skye growled, and somehow, she found enough strength to push Bobbi away. “Leave me alone! I never want to talk to you again!”

Bobbi nodded. “That’s okay. I know you’re upset, so I’ll leave you be. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

And then she left Skye alone.

Skye curled up in the tiny space between the toilet and the bathtub and cried.

*.*.*.*.

Fitz came in later.

Skye didn’t know how long she’d been in the bathroom, but it must’ve been awhile, because she was wet and her legs were starting to fall asleep.

“Hey, Skye.” Fitz said quietly, and sat down on the floor across from her.

“Want Mommy.” Skye said, even though she’d meant to say ‘hi’ back. “Need Mommy.”

“I know.” Fitz said. “She’ll be back soon…I miss my mum too sometimes.” He admitted.

Skye looked up at him. Fitz was a grown-up, and it was really hard to imagine that he got scared and missed his mommy too, because he was way bigger than her.

“You do? Really?”

Fitz nodded. “I do. You know what makes me feel better?”

Skye sniffled and shook her head. She wanted her blanket. “What?”

“I make a list of all the things that she does that make me happy. And then, when I’m done, I fold it up and keep it with me, that way when I get lonely, I have something nice to think about instead of being sad.”

Skye uncurled a little and crawled over to Fitz. She climbed into his lap, and he put his arms around her and she didn’t feel so alone. “Does it help?” she wondered.

“It does.” Fitz said. “Do you want to try it?”

Skye nodded. It sounded nice. And, it was probably way better than crying all by herself in a bathroom that smelled like puke. “Will you help me?”

“Sure thing.” Fitz said and stood up, picking Skye up with him.

Skye held on tight and rested her head on his shoulder, smiling a little.

She had the best big brother ever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for very mild violence, and Jemma's potty mouth.

[JEMMA]

Jemma was angry.

She knew it was foolish, that she was being petty and for desperate want of a better term, childish. But knowing those things didn’t make her feel any better.

It wasn’t fair.

Everyone liked Skye better because she was littler; it had always been that way. And it was worse now. Jemma knew that she really shouldn’t be upset with Skye for what had happened to her—she hadn’t asked for it, and it wasn’t her fault, even if it had kind of worked out in her favor for the moment.

But she was.

Her chest ached. She felt so little and fragile and broken—she wanted to be held and coddled the way everyone did Skye. But, she was too afraid to ask for it; Skye might’ve had the mind of an adult, but her body was the size of a two year old, so even if she still had her mental faculties intact, she really did need the help. And that was the biggest difference. Jemma didn’t.

She felt very little and vulnerable, and she just wanted someone to hold her, maybe give her a bottle, and she would feel better. She’d already put a pull-up on, and she felt a little safer, but she’d had to do it by herself and that was hard.

Skye came into her room then, and she was mad all over again. Skye looked like she’d been crying, her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks damp. Her sweatpants were a little too big for her, and her diaper peeked over the waistband; normally, Jemma thought it was cute, but now, it just made her angry. She felt like it was mocking her—it was a baby diaper, not at all like the bland, adult ones she wore when she was feeling very little, and it just reminded her of all the help she wanted but didn’t actually need. She dug her fingers into Ben Bunny’s head, and she felt a little guilty, if she was a stuffed toy, she’d hardly appreciate being abused like some kind of stress ball. But, it was the only way she could stay calm.

“Jems? I was wondering…” Skye fidgeted, playing with the hem of her shirt, staring at the floor.

“What do you want?” Jemma snapped.

“I just wanted to cuddle. I’m lonely.” Skye confessed. “Are you mad at me?”

Jemma thought she was, but she knew she was mostly jealous, not angry. She wished people could love her the same as they loved Skye, even if she was bigger. But she wasn’t going to tell Skye that, even though they’d agreed not to keep secrets from each other a long time ago. It was too embarrassing.

“Get out.” She snapped. She knew she was being man, and it wasn’t Skye’s fault. But she couldn’t help it. She felt way too little to deal with her emotions, and she wanted to be left alone. Her own mum wanted nothing to do with her, and now that she’d finally gotten comfortable with being Little, everyone was so obsessed with how adorable Skye was that she’d fallen by the wayside. She felt so alone.

Skye looked like she was going to cry, and her expression was heartbreaking. But, Jemma was upset too, and she was torn between knowing that the grown-up thing to do would be to apologize and make sure she was okay, and wanting to yell at her some more, because now she didn’t feel quite so miserable.

“What did I do?” Skye wondered. “I’m sorry, whatever it is. I didn’t mean to upset you…”

The fact that Skye was apologizing, especially when she hadn’t actually done anything wrong, made Jemma feel about a thousand times worse.

“I said, _get out_! Can’t you just grow up for ten seconds and leave me bloody well alone?” Jemma snarled, and before she realized what she was doing, she hit Skye with her pillow. She registered the shocked, hurt expression on Skye’s face the instant before the pillow made contact. She felt ashamed and wretched immediately afterward—if Skye had been bigger, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, because they had pillow fights all the time when they were little. But she wasn’t, so instead of just stinging a little the blow knocked her clean off her feet.

Jemma felt sick. What had she _done_?

Skye climbed slowly back to her feet, and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Her lower lip trembled, like she was going to cry, but she didn’t. There was a tiny dot of red under one of her nostrils; her nose was bleeding.

Jemma felt like a terrible person. She hadn’t meant to hit Skye that hard—at all really—but it had just kind of happened.

“Skye, I’m so sorry…” Jemma reached out toward her, but Skye flinched away, and she felt even worse than before.

Skye touched her nose, eyes widening when she saw the blood on her fingers. “You…you…” And then she was crying, but it was strange because she wasn’t really making any noise. “I thought you were my friend…” Skye said in a very small voice, and fled.

Jemma knew she should do something, anything, go after Skye and make sure she was okay. Apologize, beg for forgiveness. But she didn’t do any of those things. Skye probably hated her now; and she couldn’t blame her for it—what she’d done was inexcusable, wrong… _bad_.

So maybe she deserved it if Skye hated her.

Jemma touched her face, and realized she was crying too. She buried her face in her hands, and wept.

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

Skye was _so_ afraid. She didn’t know what to do. Wanted so badly to go to Bobbi for comfort, but Jemma had told her to grow up, and grown-ups didn’t cry on someone’s shoulder every time they got hurt.

And she was also afraid because Jemma had hurt her.

 _Jemma_.

The one person who really understood, who got it. Before Coulson, before May, before anyone, Jemma had known. She’d been there to comfort Skye a lot before she’d had Mommy and Daddy, and Skye felt almost as safe with her as she did with Mommy and Daddy. Or, at least, she used to. Now she wasn’t so sure.

She didn’t know what she would do if Jemma didn’t want to be friends anymore, and she still didn’t know why Jemma was so angry with her. She’d _hit_ her, and Mommy and Daddy both said that it was never, ever okay to hit, unless someone was trying to hurt you. Maybe Jemma’d forgot. Skye forgot rules too sometimes.

She went to May’s room, and stripped off her diaper in the en suite bathroom, disappointed to see that she’d wet it. That wasn’t something big girls did. She looked under the sink, and found the package of pull-ups Mommy had bought the day before. She could be big, She would show them.

Skye had to fight with the package to get it open, but she felt a whole lot more grown up with a pull-up on instead of a diaper. She was also nervous, because now she had to be really careful not to have any accidents, because big girls could stay dry all day.

Skye sniffled. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t. Her nose was done bleeding at least, but her head hurt, and she felt too little to deal with it all by herself. But she had to. Jemma had said so, and even though Skye didn’t like to admit it all the time, Jemma was older, even when they were little, her big sister. So she had to listen. She was a good girl.

She shuffled into the bathroom and climbed on top of the closed toilet lid, and from there, she picked her way very carefully onto the sink so she could reach the medicine cabinet. She picked through the contents until she found the painkillers, but the she had to wrestle with the lid, because it was a child-proof cap and she almost didn’t have the strength to unscrew it; when she finally got it open, she ended up sending pills flying in every direction.

Bobbi poked her head into the bathroom. “What’s going on—Skye!”

Before she could blink, She was in Bobbi’s arms, the pill bottle clattered into the sink.

“What on earth are you _doing_? Bobbi demanded, and she looked really scared, and that made Skye scared too.

“My head hurts. I was just going to take something…” Skye confessed, although she really didn’t understand what the big deal was; she took painkillers all the time.

“I don’t ever want to see you touching the medicine cabinet again, do you hear me?” Bobbi seemed angry now, and Skye started crying, because Bobbi was mad at her too now, and she still didn’t know what she had done that was so bad.

“Why is everyone mad at me? I don’t even know what I _did_!” Skye cried. She really wanted to suck her thumb, but she had to be big, and she knew she couldn’t. She wanted her blanket too, but she knew she couldn’t have it either. It was so hard to be big…

Bobbi took a deep breath, and hugged her really tight. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry I scared you. I’m not mad; you scared me.”

Skye blinked. “I scared you?” She didn’t think it was possible for Bobbi to be scared—she was so brave all the time, just like Mommy.

Bobbi nodded and kissed her forehead. “You did. Do you know that those pills could kill you? I know you’re used to being a grown-up and doing things for yourself, but you need to remember that it’s okay to ask for help too. Especially now. And _especially_ when it comes to medicine. I’ll talk to your Mom when she gets back, but until she does, I don’t want you in the bathroom without a grown-up, okay?”

Skye wanted to cry again. How was she supposed to prove that she was a grown-up, if she wasn’t allowed in the bathroom without supervision? It wasn’t fair. She played with the hem of her shirt. “I’m sorry I yelled at you before. I didn’t mean it. I was upset and scared and…” Skye didn’t know if she could say the next thing because it was embarrassing, but if Fitz could be brave and say that he missed his Mommy too, so could she. “I miss Mommy.”

Bobbi rubbed her back. “I know. It’s okay. You have a wonderful Mommy who loves you very much; it’s totally understandable that you would miss her…What happened to you face, honey? Was your nose bleeding?”

Skye squirmed. She knew it was bad to lie, but she didn’t want Jemma to hate her either. She felt trapped. “I fell.” She said lamely, and it was true, but not the whole truth, and she felt a little guilty.

Bobbi didn’t seem like she bought it. “You know you can talk to me right? I won’t be mad if you fell trying to get onto the medicine cabinet, or something, but if you hit your head, then I need to have Simmons check you over, make sure you’re not hurt.”

Skye flinched at Jemma’s name. She loved Jemma a lot, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to be near her right now. She was a little afraid of her, and that made her feel yucky inside, because they were a family, and you weren’t supposed to be afraid of your family…

“Did Jemma do something to you?” Bobbi asked, staring at Skye while she waited for an answer, and it was too much.

“She hit me with a pillow,” Skye said, the words all tumbling out in a rush, and she felt awful, like she’d betrayed, Jemma somehow.

“She did?” Bobbi went stiff, and her expression hardened.

Skye nodded slowly. “But don’t tell her I said anything! She’s already upset with me, and I don’t know why. I don’t want to make it worse.”

“We have to deal with this, Skye. You know just as well as I do that it isn’t okay to hit.” Bobbi said. “I won’t say anything to her, but I’m going to call your Mommy and tell her what happened. I think I might end up saying something I’ll regret later if I go in there now…What was she thinking?”

Skye didn’t say anything.

“Do you want to talk to Mommy when I call her?” Bobbi asked, and Skye was grateful for the change of subject.

She nodded vigorously. And then she felt wet, and realized that her pull-up had leaked.

“Uh-oh,” Bobbi said. “We should probably change your diaper first.” She said, and carried Skye off to May’s bedroom. She laid Skye down on the bed and took a fresh diaper, powder, and wipes from her diaper bag under the bed. She slid Skye’s pants off and tossed them in the laundry hamper; Skye wasn’t confident that she would get another pair to wear, since she’d leaked on those.

“Did you put this on all by yourself?” Bobbi asked.

Skye nodded. “Uh-huh!” She said proudly.

“Sweetie, it’s on backwards…” Bobbi snickered a little, and Skye was embarrassed, even though she thought it was a little funny too. “Why don’t you let the grown-ups take care of your diapers from now on, okay>? If you want to wear a pull-up and work on getting to the potty, that’s okay, but tell us so we can make sure it’s on right.”

Skye nodded and sucked her thumb. She definitely didn’t feel big enough to deal with the potty. Her day was stressful enough without trying to deal with that too. “I’ll wear a diaper. I’m not very good at being big…” She said.

“You don’t have to be. Not right now,” Bobbi told her, and she felt very comforted by that, like a huge weight had lifted off of her shoulders. Bobbi finished changing her quickly, then got rid of the wet pull-up and washed her hands. She sat next to Skye on the bed, and Skye crawled into her lap.

“Are you ready to call Mommy?” Bobbi wondered, rocking her gently.

Skye nodded and suppressed a yawn; she thought it must be getting close to naptime, but she didn’t want to say anything; maybe Bobbi would forget. She curled up against Bobbi and sucked her thumb, confident that Mommy could fix everything.


	8. Chapter 8

[JEMMA]

May came in with a plate of grapes, crackers, some small cheese cubes and a bottle of chocolate milk.

Jemma curled up on her side, facing away from the door. The guilt of what she had done to Skye sat heavily in the pit of her stomach; she didn't feel like eating. She popped her dummy back into her mouth and sucked on it, hoping May would go away, so she could cry in peace, but also hoping she would stay.

She definitely didn't feel big enough to eat by herself, and she was wet, and she really needed a hug.

May set the plate down on her nightstand and Jemma's bed shifted as she sat down on it.

Before Jemma could muster the courage to speak, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in the hallway distracted her. The sweet smell of something chocolatey made her mouth water.

"You forgot her dessert, Mommy. That's the best part of supper!" Skye sounded indignant, like she had no idea how anyone could forget something so important.

"Thank you, baby. That was very nice of you to make sure Jemma got her dessert."  May said, and there was a wet sound afterward; a kiss on the forehead for Skye, probably.

"Is she awake?" Skye wondered.

"I don't know, sweetheart." May said, but Jemma felt like she did. May always knew.

Skye climbed up onto the bed and pressed a somewhat sticky kiss Jemma's cheek.

"It's way past my bedtime, but I stayed up to wait for Mommy to come home. I just wanted to say I love you, and I hope you're okay...Goodnight." Skye draped herself over Jemma's body and squeezed; Jemma realized that Skye was giving her a hug.

She felt wretched and awful, like she definitely didn't deserve Skye's comfort. But she wanted it, and she wanted Skye to know she was sorry, so she reached around and awkwardly hugged her back.

Jemma sat up and Skye crawled into her lap. "I'm very sorry for what I did to you, Skye. I understand if you don't feel like you can forgive me, but I wanted you to know."

Skye hugged her again, leaning against her and squeezing hard, probably with all the strength her little body could muster. “I forgive you.” She said. “Can we still be friends?” she continued in a very small voice. “I don’t like it when we fight…”

Jemma kissed Skye’s forehead. “Of course we can. I’d never want to stop being friends with you; even though I’m mean sometimes.”

“Everyone is mean sometimes.” Skye said, almost like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “But you said you were sorry, so it’s okay. I’m glad we’re still friends.”

And then Jemma was crying. She felt so underserving of Skye’s affection, especially after what she’d done—she’d almost rather Skye had yelled, or been angry with her; she didn’t know how to cope with affection instead of wrath, and it made her feel even worse, because Skye was so forgiving.

“No, no, no,” Skye fumbled, trying to wipe away Jemma’s tears. “Please don’t cry. Then I’m gonna cry, and I already cried a lot today…” her own eyes were welling up, and Jemma knew it was only a matter of time before Skye was in tears too.

May moved closer to them, and gently guided Jemma into her lap, rocking her gently. “Shh.” She whispered into Jemma’s ear and kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay now, Mommy’s here.”

Jemma pressed her face into May’s shoulder and held on as tightly as she could. She was falling apart, overflowing with emotion, and she was way too little to deal with it on her own.

“Skye, come on, it’s time for bed.” That was Phil’s voice. “I know you want to help, but it’s way past your bedtime already, and Mommy and Jemma need to talk privately. I promise you can give Jemma all the hugs you want in the morning, okay?”

“’Kay,” Skye squirmed out of the space she’d been squashed in between May and Jemma, and then they were alone.

Jemma’s body shook, and her stomach clenched, and she thought for sure her she was going to collapse in on herself. She clung to May with a desperate kind of strength, lest she be swept away in her anguish. Part of her thought that would be for the best, that she shouldn’t burden May further with being upset over something that was her fault in the first place, but she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

“Mommy…” Her voice was broken and cracked, her throat raw. “Mommy,” She hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed this, and she was terrified that May would pull away from her, because she was a terrible person who’d hurt her baby.

May’s hand slipped under her shirt to rub her back, in slow, soothing circles, and the tenderness of the gesture, the warmth of her touch, the steady, firm, grounding pressure…it was almost too intimate.

“Mommy’s got you, baby. Mommy’s got you.” May’s free hand pressed Jemma’s face into her shoulder, but it wasn’t smothering—Jemma didn’t feel strong enough to hold herself there, and she was so grateful that May had enough strength for both of them, because she didn’t know how to be big right now, and she didn’t know what she would do if Mommy let go of her.

“I’m awful.” Jemma said, and May’s grip tightened.

“No you’re not.” May said firmly. “You made a mistake. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Jemma murmured into May’s shoulder. Her stomach hurt from all the crying, and it was just too much to cope with along with everything else.

“Jemma.” May’s voice was gentle, kind, but firm. “Look at me baby girl. I have something very important to say, and I need to know that you hear me.”

Jemma almost couldn’t do it. She felt so little, and so ashamed of herself, and the disappointment she knew she would see in May’s eyes would break her. But May had called her _baby girl,_ and she normally only called Skye that. Jemma raised her head very slowly, and was almost overwhelmed by the tenderness in May’s gaze.

“I love you.” May said. “I love you, baby, and nothing will ever change that.”

“But I’m bad.” Jemma protested. She didn’t feel very loveable. Just sad.

“You’re not bad. You’ve been dealing with a lot lately, and you’ve been under a lot of pressure trying to help Skye. Big or little, you’re still very young, and you’ve been asked to do a lot more than anyone has a right to ask of you. And, you did it all without complaining, and I am so, so proud of you.”

“But—“ Jemma started to protest, but May put a finger to her lips.

“Shh. Listen to Mommy, baby.” She kissed Jemma’s forehead. “You’re a lot like me, Jemma. We both aren’t very good at dealing with our emotions. We both bottle things up a lot, and you can only do that for so long before you can’t hold it in anymore, and I think that’s what happened today.”

Jemma nodded.

“While I’m disappointed in the way you chose to _express_ your feelings, I’m not upset with you for having them.”

“Am I in trouble?” Jemma wondered.

“If you mean to ask if there will be consequences for your actions, then yes. But you’re not in trouble. I think you’ve punished yourself enough; Bobbi says you haven’t come out of your room all day.”

Jemma nodded again. She felt very little, and her words were far away.

“I know it’s hard to do, especially when you’re so little, but try to see things from Skye’s perspective. Two days ago, she was an adult, and even though she spent a lot of time being little, she was still capable of doing things for herself. Now, she can’t. Did you know that it is physically impossible for her to sit on the toilet by herself?”

Jemma shook her head.

“She prefers to wear diapers, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if she does decide to use the bathroom, she has to ask one of us to take her, because she can’t go alone. And that’s just one thing, from a very long list of things that she needs help with now. Think of it this way: do you get upset with Fitz when he forgets words sometimes?”

Jemma shook her head. “Of course not. He can’t help it.”

May nodded. “Exactly. And it’s the same for Skye. Even though we’re giving her more attention now, it’s not because we love you _less_ , she just needs to be watched more.”

Jemma nodded. “I understand.”

May kissed her forehead. “Good girl.”

“What happens now?” Jemma asked, even though she was afraid of the answer.

“Well, first of all, I want you to promise me that you’ll tell me if you start to feel neglected. I’ll never get mad at you for having feelings, but I can’t help you with a problem I don’t know about.”

“Okay.” That didn’t seem so bad.

“And second, tomorrow, I’m going to treat you the exact same way that I treat Skye, just to help you understand what her life is like now. I’m not doing this to humiliate you, or punish you—my mother told me something when I was a little younger than you, just before I joined SHIELD. She said: ‘Never judge someone, until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes’. And I think it might help you to understand what Skye is going through.”

“Will I have to wear diapers?” Jemma asked. She didn’t really mind having to wear them, and she thought she even liked them sometimes, but she wanted to be prepared. “What if I have to…” she couldn’t finish, it was too embarrassing to say.

Fortunately May understood. “You don’t have to use them for that. Skye does, but she always has the choice of using the potty instead. If you have to go, just tell us and we’ll take you.”

Jemma nodded. It seemed reasonable, and she thought it was a good idea, even if it would be a little embarrassing. It wasn’t as though Skye had a choice about what she needed help with, so it seemed a fair compromise.

“I don’t want you to worry about tomorrow too much, okay baby? We’ll deal with it when it gets here. Right now, I’d like you to try to eat something. Do you think you can do that?”

Jemma thought she could, but she couldn’t make herself let go of Mommy so she could feed herself. “Will you help me?”

May nodded and kissed her forehead. “Of course. And I’m proud of you for asking. I know it’s hard sometimes. But first, I think we need to change your diaper—you’re leaking.”

Jemma was mortified; she hadn’t even felt it. She laid back on the bed and let May pull her pants off.

May clicked her tongue. “Maybe it’s a good thing I’ll be watching you more closely tomorrow, you’re getting a rash, honey.”

Jemma was a little embarrassed; usually it was Skye who had that problem. But, it was okay. She was little, and Mommy would take care of her. She was glad when May put her in a diaper instead of a pull-up; she was very overwhelmed, and now she had one less thing to be responsible for.

She settled in May’s lap after, and May fed her. It was so much easier to eat when Mommy fed her. She felt little and safe, and loved, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

[JEMMA]

Jemma woke early the next morning.

She was hot, and sweaty, but she felt very safe, curled up next to May in her bed. May had held Skye all night, so Jemma could only imagine how hot she must be, but Skye was still sleeping, draped over top of May, with the older woman’s arm wrapped around her.

May’s free hand rested on Jemma’s back, warm and secure.

Jemma thought she could probably lay there forever. Her bladder twinged, and she was glad that May had put her in a diaper before bedtime last night, because even though she was going to be treated like Skye anyway, she definitely didn’t feel big enough to get up and go to the toilet by herself.

The warm wetness in her diaper wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as she usually found it, and she wasn’t sure if that was because she felt so little, or if she was just getting used to it. She sucked her dummy and tried to relax while she waited for Mommy and Skye to wake up.

Skye was up first. She stirred, and yawned enormously, squeaking as she did. She blinked slowly, looking around, and her face broke into a grin when she saw Jemma.

“Jemma!” She whispered. She carefully removed herself from May’s grasp so she could cuddle with Jemma. She climbed on top of Jemma, all bony knees and sharp elbows, and tucked her head under Jemma’s chin. “I missed you.” She said quietly, wrapping her arms around as much of Jemma’s torso as she could manage.

“I missed you too,” Jemma replied, and it was true. Even though they’d been apart for less than twelve hours, the conditions that had separated them had been less than pleasant, and Jemma was glad that they were together again. She stroked Skye’s back gently; Skye squirmed a little, and Jemma knew that she’d wet her diaper, but she didn’t say anything—she was way too little to look after anyone.

“I’m bored.” Skye whispered, rolling over so she was on her back; for someone whose bones were made of cartilage, she had awfully pointy limbs.

Jemma laced her fingers together over Skye’s tummy as they lay on the bed, breathing softly in the quiet room. “What do you normally do in the mornings?” she asked, and she felt Skye shrug.

“I’m not ‘upposed to get out of bed without a grown-up.” Skye said. “So I normally just watch TV until Mommy gets up.”

Jemma took a deep, careful breath. Her day hadn’t even officially begun yet, and already she was beginning to realize how difficult things must be for Skye; getting out of bed in the morning was something she’d taken for granted, and Skye couldn’t even do that.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Jemma wondered, only realizing afterwards that her question might make Skye feel bad about her situation. She frowned. “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Skye patted her hip with a tiny hand, but the gesture was comforting, as she probably intended it to be. “Don’t be. I’m little, so it isn’t safe for me to be by myself without a grown-up. It’s okay.”

“Do you miss being big? You know, like you used to be?” Jemma wondered.

Skye shrugged again. “Sometimes, ‘specially when I’m hungry—I’m not allowed to be in the kitchen by myself, and Mommy moved all the junk food to the higher-up cupboards. But it’s nice to be little too. It’s like a second chance for me; when I was a kid, I didn’t have a family who loved me, I didn’t get that until after I was grown up, and I was way too big to need all the things that babies need. Except _I_ did need them, no matter how hard I tried not to, and it wasn’t until I found you, and Daddy, and Mommy, that someone told me that it was okay to be little.”

Jemma nodded, and squeezed Skye a little tighter. She knew exactly how that felt.

They watched TV for a little while, shows with soft colors and shapes and gentle voices and singing, the kind meant for really little kids. Jemma didn’t mind. It was nice, peaceful, soothing even. Jemma felt around on the bed until she found her dummy, and popped it into her mouth. She sucked on it slowly, eyes heavy, and then she was drifting.

The next thing she knew, May was pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and she was embarrassed that she had drifted off so easily.

“How are my babies this morning?” Mommy asked. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, Mommy.” Skye said. She was sitting on the pillow next to Jemma’s head, sucking her paci, so the words came out a little distorted.

Jemma nodded. “Yes.” She felt too little to take her dummy out, so she left it alone.

“Good. Are you wet?”

Skye didn’t answer, so Jemma took her cue and stayed silent.

May made quick work of checking Jemma’s diaper, and it was awkward at first, embarrassing, and intimate, but when it was over, Jemma felt littler than ever. She was usually good about telling May when she needed to be changed when she was in diapers, but Skye almost never did, so it made sense that May would need to check her.

“It’s okay,” May said, resting a hand on Jemma’s tummy. “I’m right here. You’re safe.”

Jemma hadn’t thought that she needed the reassurance, but she felt much better after hearing it. “I love you, Mommy,” she said around her dummy.

“I love you too baby.” May answered, and kissed her forehead again. “Now, let’s get you girls dry, and we’ll go have breakfast.”

“ _Finally_!” Skye exclaimed. “I’m starving! Look at me, I’m wasting away to nothing!” She held out an arm to prove her point, and tried to maintain a serious expression, but she wasn’t quite successful.

May reached into Skye’s diaper bag and took out a small, sealable plastic bag filled with dry cereal. “Here. You can snack on this until breakfast.”

May changed Jemma quickly, making sure to use powder and rash cream so her rash didn’t get worse. Jemma liked the baby powder; it smelled nice and helped her to relax, and it made her feel very little. May didn’t give her any pants to wear, however, and that made her nervous. She was very glad Mommy was there—she definitely didn’t feel big enough to be on her own.

“Alright, Skye. Your turn.” Mommy said.

Skye scooted away, a mischievous glint in her eye. “But I’m hungry. And I don’t mind being wet. I want to eat.” She said, pouting.

“You are eating.” Mommy pointed out. “And I know you don’t mind being wet; that’s the reason that you don’t always get to wear pants—you never tell me or your Daddy when you’re wet, and then you get a rash.” She sounded a little exasperated, like this wasn’t the first time they’d had this exact conversation.

“I don’t wanna get changed.” Skye crossed her arms and huffed.

“Skye,” Mommy’s voice was kind, but it carried a very clear warning. “I’m not going to argue with you. Come here and get changed, I’m not going to tell you again.”

“Fine,” Skye grunted and crawled to the foot of the bed where May was waiting; her frustration was clear in her movements. She flopped down in a boneless heap, forcing May to adjust her position so she could change her, but May didn’t seem upset.

“Thank you baby.” May said, and got to work changing Skye. Skye sat up when she’d finished, and May took her gently by the shoulders. “Mind your attitude young lady, or you’re going to find yourself in time out. I know that you don’t always like to be changed, and it’s frustrating when you can’t do things for yourself, but you need to listen when a grown-up tells you to do something.”

Jemma allowed herself a small smile. Skye was still the same, albeit much smaller. She’d always been stubborn, and independent when she wanted something, and Jemma was glad to see that hadn’t changed.

“Okay,” Skye’s voice was sullen, like she’d just been told that their trip to the park had been rained out.

May scooped Skye up and took Jemma by the hand. “Okay little ones, let’s go have breakfast. What are you hungry for?”

Skye was still pouting, so she didn’t answer.

“Eggs,” Jemma decided. “And bacon. And toast.”

“That does sound good.” May agreed. “What do you think, Skye?”

“That’s fine.”

They were almost to the kitchen when Jemma froze.

She wasn’t wearing pants, and everyone would _see_ , and she felt way too little to deal with it all. She clung to Mommy, pressing her face into May’s arm, blocking out the rest of the world, because it was big and scary and it was all too much for her. She really wanted her dummy, but she’d left it in May’s bedroom.

“What’s wrong, baby?” May asked, setting Skye down on the floor and telling her to go ahead of them into the kitchen. She wiped Jemma’s tears away with the pads of her thumbs, gentle and tender. “What’s got you so upset, hmm?”

“Scared. Don’t want to go.” Jemma said, wrapping her arms around Mommy and holding on tight. She didn’t feel capable of bravery. She was too little, too exposed and raw and vulnerable to be without Mommy. She didn’t know how Skye could cope with being away from Mommy at all; she was so much littler, and just the thought of leaving Mommy to walk into the kitchen was terrifying.

“Need you, need you, need you” Jemma murmured against Mommy’s shoulder. She wasn’t brave, and she didn’t think she could go into the kitchen where people could see her. She just wanted to curl up, small and safe with Mommy, and hide from the world.

“I know, baby girl. I know. I’m right here. We’re going to do this together okay? I’ll be right beside you the whole time. You don’t have to be scared; the whole team has seen you little before, this isn’t any different, you’re just littler, and that’s perfectly okay.” Mommy kissed her forehead and rubbed her back, and she felt like maybe, if Mommy was with her, she could be a little bit brave.

“Need my dummy,” Jemma murmured. And she really did need it; there was no way she could cope with going into the kitchen without it, she was way too little for that.

“Okay, we can go get it; come on sweetheart.” May led her back to the bedroom to retrieve her dummy, and then they headed back toward the kitchen. Jemma felt a lot better now that she had something to suck on, but it was still scary to think about going into the kitchen…what if Bobbi was in there?

Bobbi was like her big sister. Her role model. She’d saved Jemma’s life when she was undercover in HYDRA. She wanted the older woman to respect her, and she didn’t see how that would be possible if she saw her in a nappy, sucking a dummy, and crying like a baby.

Already the tears were starting, hot and fast, dripping off her chin.

May pulled her into a hug. “Oh, baby girl…” She whispered in Jemma’s ear, trying to calm her, and it almost worked, until Bobbi walked by.

“Rough night, huh, kiddo?” She said and patted Jemma’s shoulder.

Her voice only made Jemma cry harder, sobbing and clutching at May’s shirt. Bobbi would probably never respect her again after seeing her like this.

“It’s okay,” Bobbi continued, and that gave Jemma pause, and she slowly turned to look at Bobbi; it was only after their eyes met that she realized that she was still sucking her dummy, and she wanted to hide all over again. But, Bobbi’s gaze was warm and understanding and accepting, so she didn’t. It really helped that Mommy was still holding her, fingers laced over her tummy, just like she’d held Skye earlier that morning.

The air was cool against her bare legs, and she was worried about what Bobbi would think of the fact that she was wearing a diaper. Big girls didn’t wear diapers…She felt weak and trembly all over, but she didn’t want to cry anymore in front of Bobbi.

“You’re very brave, you know.” Bobbi said, and caressed Jemma’s cheek. “I know it doesn’t feel like that sometimes, but what you’re doing, that’s brave. Not many people would have the courage to do what you’re doing, to let people see them at their most vulnerable. I respect that.” Bobbi kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you at the table honey. I have to go wake up Lance; you know how cranky he gets when he doesn’t eat his breakfast…”

Jemma smiled. It helped to know that Bobbi was okay with her being little.

Mommy kissed her cheek. “All better?”

Jemma nodded. “All better. Can we eat now, Mommy? I don’t want Skye to eat _all_ the bacon…”

Mommy smiled and took Jemma’s hand again. “Of course baby.”

Jemma was still smiling as they walked into the kitchen. She felt so little, but it was okay. She was safe, and happy here, and she had a family that loved her. And that was the most wonderful thing she could think of.

Even if Skye did hog the bacon.


	10. Chapter 10

[SKYE]

Skye took careful aim with a piece of cereal.

Lance had been teasing her all throughout breakfast and she thought some retaliation would be in order—she’d just have to time it so Mommy or Daddy didn’t catch her.

Mommy was feeding Jemma, and Daddy was making more eggs—Skye hoped some would be for her; she was still munching on the cereal Mommy had given her earlier. Neither of them was looking in her direction, and she took the opportunity to fling her improvised projectile at Lance, striking him squarely in the forehead.

Leo had caught her, and even though he didn’t say anything, he stared at her and shook his head.

Skye ignored him and stuck her tongue out at Lance.

Lance responded in kind and caught the next piece of cereal she threw at him in his mouth.

Skye frowned; he was taking all the fun out of her revenge.

“Skye, don’t throw food at the table.” May said without looking away from Jemma.

Skye squirmed. “But,”

“No, ‘buts’.” May countered. “No throwing food at the table. I don’t care if Hunter was teasing you, you can play with him after breakfast. I’m trusting you to sit and eat your breakfast like a big girl. If you’re too little to handle feeding yourself responsibly, that’s okay, but you’ll have to wait until Daddy, or I can feed you.”

Skye slumped in her chair. Grown-ups just sucked the fun out of everything sometimes. “Fine.” She muttered, sticking another handful of cereal into her mouth mechanically.

“Thank you, Skye.” Mommy said, and she felt a little better. Only a little though. She was definitely going to stomp on Hunter’s foot or something when she got the chance.

Hunter made to flick the morsel she’d thrown at him previously back at her, but May caught it as it flew by.

“Hunter, don’t instigate. I’m going to pretend that didn’t just happen, because you’re a grown man and should know better, but if you test me, I’ll have Bobbi feed _you_.” May warned.

Both Hunter and Bobbi looked uncomfortable at the prospect.

“Ooh, Hunter got in _trouble_ …” Skye sang—it felt good to do the teasing for once.

“Skye,” Daddy said. “It’s not nice to make fun of other people when they get in trouble. You wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you, would you?”

Skye shook her head. She thought she’d probably cry if that happened, but she didn’t say that out loud.

“Then don’t do it to other people.” Daddy said, and he didn’t sound upset, but Skye could tell by his voice that he wasn’t going to allow any arguments.

She glared at Hunter across the table. It wasn’t fair; he got away with everything, just because he was big and she wasn’t. She could be big too. She would prove it.

 

[JEMMA]

It was nice, being fed.

She got to sit on Mommy’s lap, which was definitely safe, and she could relax, and be little and know that no one was judging her. She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed this. She’d been trying so hard to be big, especially after what had happened to Skye, because she hadn’t wanted May and Phil to feel overwhelmed, and it was so wonderful to know that they were okay, that she could be little and it wasn’t too much for them.

Mommy fed her another small bite of eggs; she was beginning to feel full, so she turned her head away from the mouthful that followed.

“I’m full.” She said.

“Are you sure? You haven’t been eating much lately.” Mommy said quietly, and Jemma was thankful. She’d been anxious and overwhelmed, and she hadn’t had much of an appetite for the past few days—she was hoping that no one had noticed, but apparently, she couldn’t hide anything from May.

Jemma nodded. It was hard to talk when she felt so little.

“Okay. But you’ll have a snack between now and lunchtime.” Mommy said. “You need to eat more, or you’ll get sick.”

Jemma knew that. She had already begun to feel weak, but she hadn’t said anything because May and Phil had their hands full with Skye, and she didn’t want to be a burden. But she said: “Yes, Mommy. Can I be excused?”

May kissed her temple. “Sure. Go and play in the sitting room, but stay where I can see you.”

Jemma nodded and gave May a hug before she went out to the sitting room to color. They’d amassed quite a collection of coloring books and art supplies, but her favorite one was from _Bambi_. She loved the cute little animals and the peaceful woodland scenery. She liked it so much that she would even color when she wasn’t feeling especially little, just to relax.

Skye had ‘colored’ on a few of the pages, though Jemma would hardly call it that, because she hadn’t bothered to stay in the lines. She thought that maybe she and Fitz should run Skye through the tests again when she was big, to make sure she wasn’t getting worse.

That was a really scary thought, Skye getting worse, because she still had no idea how to fix what HYDRA had done, and they hadn’t heard from Doctor Banner or Stark for a few days, but she was sure they would call when they figured something out.

Her throat ached, and her eyes welled up with tears. She felt useless and angry with herself for not being able to help more than she had; some tears dripped onto the page she’d been coloring and blotched the drawing, and that just made her more upset.

She sucked in a sharp breath, trying to stop herself from crying, but it was loud, and she was sure everyone must be staring at her by now, and she wanted to curl up under the coffee table and hide from everyone, but she didn’t know if she’d fit. She felt lost and vulnerable, like a rubber duck lost at sea—if someone didn’t come and save her, she might drift forever.

Jemma popped her dummy into her mouth and sucked on it furiously, but it only helped a little. She curled up behind the couch—it seemed like a safe place, and no one would bother her there, she could cry and not be a burden. Or, at least, that’s what she told herself until Phil came over and sat next to her.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked, gentle, and calm, and quiet, and kind. “What are you sad about?”

“I don’t know.” Jemma confessed, and sucked on her dummy again.

Phil pulled her into his lap, and she curled up small so his arms could hold all of her. Her fingers twisted in the fabric of his apron. It said _Kiss the Cook_ , and she thought that maybe May had gotten it for him as a gag gift. It smelled like bacon grease and Phil’s aftershave, which was a strange combination, but it made her feel safe.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Phil said, and Jemma didn’t think it was, but his comforting words helped a little anyway.

“Daddy,” She whispered quietly, tucking her head under his chin, and he held her a little tighter. Her fingers were trembling, and her arms, so she clung to him tighter to try and stop the shaking. She sniffled, wished she didn’t need to cry so much, but she was little, and she couldn’t stop the tears all by herself.

“What is it sweetheart?”

“What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t fix Skye?” She asked, tense and afraid that he would be upset with her for being unable to do more. She felt so inadequate, for the job, frustrated that she couldn’t do more, and too little to deal with any of it. She just wanted a bottle and for Daddy to rock her.

“That’s an awfully big job for someone so little.” Daddy kissed her forehead. And wiped away her tears. “You’ve been very helpful, Jemma. That’s why we called Doctor Banner and Mister Stark—some jobs are too big for one person, and all it does is make you sad if you try to do everything by yourself. It’s okay to ask for help, Jemma, even when you’re not little. I know it’s hard sometimes, especially since you’re very smart and can figure most things on your own. But, you don’t have to. That’s why we have a team, everyone shares the work so one person doesn’t get overwhelmed.”

Jemma nodded. It made sense.

“But I don’t think you need to worry about that right now. Today is a day for you to be little, so I want you to try and focus on that. Banner and Stark can handle things for a day; you need to take care of yourself too. Why don’t I make you a bottle, and we can sit in my chair and cuddle, and if you feel up to it, afterwards, we can watch a movie or play a game, anything you like.” Daddy said.

Jemma thought that sounded really nice, like exactly what she needed to feel better, and she wanted to tell him that, but all that came out was “Please, Daddy,” And it was childish and needy and afraid, and she wanted to try again, make it more grown-up, but her words had vanished.

Daddy stood up and picked her up with him, and she was so startled that she made an embarrassing squeaking noise, and scrambled to cling to him.

“It’s okay baby girl, I won’t drop you.” Phil reassured her, and rubbed her back.

Jemma rested her head on Daddy’s shoulder and closed her eyes, sucking her dummy some more, just because she could.

Daddy got a bottle from the fridge and sat down in his chair in the sitting room; Jemma was only just now discovering that it rocked back and forth, and that was the best thing ever, just what she needed.

She wet her diaper after a few minutes, when the bottle was about half empty, and Daddy patted her butt absently.

“I’ll change you when you finish your bottle, and then we can find something fun to do.” He said.

Jemma snuggled closer and kept sucking the bottle, the cool milk in her mouth was soothing. She thought that maybe she was starting to understand why Skye liked being little so much—it was so safe and Daddy and Mommy knew just what she needed—it was hard not to worry, but she knew she didn’t need to, and that helped a lot.

She drifted, not quite asleep, but not awake either. She felt safe, and warm and loved and happy, and she thought that maybe, this was what euphoria felt like.

She thought she must have dozed off a little, because Daddy was changing her when she woke up, and she wasn’t even embarrassed—she was little, and her diaper wasn’t her responsibility.

“Hey, princess, I’m almost finished. Do you know what you’d like to do?”

Jemma smiled. It was nice to have a nickname for just her. Mommy and Daddy both called her _baby_ , but she thought that was mostly for Skye, so it made her feel special to have something all to herself.

“I don’t know.” Jemma admitted. “Can we just play a game with everyone?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Daddy said. “As soon as we’re done here, we can go round everyone up.”

 

[SKYE]

Skye allowed herself a small smile. She might not have been adult-sized anymore, but that definitely made sneaking around a whole lot easier. She’d managed to find her way down to the gym; she hadn’t trained at all since the incident, and she didn’t want to lose her discipline, even if she had to work on the coordination.

It was hard to tape her hands, because the tape was so wide, but she was in a hurry, because she knew it was only a matter of time before someone found her and made her stop. Once that was done, she ran a few laps around the mat and did some push-ups to warm up.

She circled the heavy bag warily, it was huge and intimidating, but she had to be strong. She could still be big, she knew it. Punching the bag was like hitting a wall—she didn’t remember it being this firm before, and it upset her that she couldn’t pummel it appropriately.

Her brain was in a fog, she couldn’t remember any of the basic footwork drills May had taught her ages ago, and it scared her, Jemma had said that the serum could affect her memory…

If she couldn’t fight, then she could at least do that other thing that Mommy did in the morning….Tai….Tied…Something.

Her breath caught in her throat when she realized that she couldn’t remember that either. She still remembered that she hadn’t always been little, and the incident that had landed her in the current predicament. She remembered meeting Hunter and Bobbi, and Fitz and Simmons, and May and Coulson, and Ward…There was someone else there, that she’d known, but they were gone, and her chest hurt, like maybe she should be sad about it.

Skye could feel it though, her mind was fraying at the edges, missing fragments, little details. How much longer did she have before she started forgetting the really important stuff, like that Ward was bad, and that Fitz had almost died, and he was different now, but that was okay…

Her face was wet, and she realized that she was crying.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you. Phil and Jemma want to play a game.” Mommy sounded like she’d been worried. “If you want to play in the gym that’s fine, but tell me where you’re going next time. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. But I wasn’t playing.” Skye clarified. “Training.”

“Oh?” May raised an eyebrow.

“I was trying to practice, but I don’t ‘member how. And then I tried to do Tai…Tie…” Skye huffed and wiped her eyes uselessly, because the tears just kept coming. Why was it so hard to remember?

“Tai Chi?” Mommy asked, and Skye felt like that was right, so she nodded. She crawled into Mommy’s lap because she was scared and vulnerable and lost, and she didn’t know what to do.

“Mommy…Agent May…I’m losing myself.” Skye said, and she was shaking, and afraid and cold, and also, she realized, wet. “What am I gonna do? I don’t want to forget everything…I still want to be me.”

Mommy rocked her, stroking her hair, soft and gentle, and she didn’t feel quite so scared. “We’ll figure it out, baby. Everything’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.”

Skye clung to Mommy’s shirt, and tried to believe her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a terrible person; there's a TON of crying in this chapter. Sorry everyone!

[SKYE]

 

Skye played with Leo’s tie.

He was holding her, and she felt safe. They’d played some games earlier, and drawn some pictures in the lab; Mommy had put some of them on the fridge. Fitz was taking to someone named Doctor Banner on the phone, but it was a video call, so she could see his face.

He seemed nice, but he was a _Doctor_ , and Skye didn’t like doctors very much, since most of the time they poked her with sharp things that made her cry.

“Physically, she’s completely healthy.” Fitz was saying. “And cognitively, she hasn’t lost anything either. So far as I can tell, and you’d probably be better off asking Simmons when she feels up to it, the serum affects her developmentally. So, while she’s mentally twenty-two, her body is two, and her brain is scrambling to try and make sense of what the he— _heck_ is going on. It’s a bit like what I went through after…Ward.”

Doctor Banner adjusted his glasses before he spoke. “I see. From what you’ve told me, there’s a possibility that she’ll be able to retain the memories she hasn’t lost yet, but you’ll have to stay on top of things. Play some memory games, look at photos, remind her of things.”

Fitz nodded. “Okay. Have you made any progress with the antiserum?”

“Some, but it’s a pretty complex formula. Every time we get the effects to reverse, it either wears off, or it doesn’t stop at all, and the subject ages at an accelerate rate. I apologize for the delay; we’re doing our best here. It would really help if you could get us the original recipe so we know exactly what we’re dealing with.” Doctor Banner said.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Fitz said. “Thanks again for your help.” And then he cut the connection. “Sorry, Skye.” He said=

“’S not your fault.” Skye told him around her thumb. Her tummy was starting to hurt, which probably meant she would have to go potty soon. She would normally just use her diaper, but she wanted to be big, so she asked Leo to put her down so she could go find Mommy.

She could be a big girl, even if she was small, even though things were hard.

Mommy was sitting on the couch next to Daddy, who was watching a movie with Jemma. Jemma looked like she was almost asleep, curled up in Daddy’s lap.

Skye almost climbed into Mommy’s lap because she really needed to cuddle, but then she remembered that she was trying to be big, and should go to the potty first. She could cuddle with Mommy later. She went over and patted Mommy’s leg.

“Mommy? I have to go potty.” She announced.

May scooped her up and stood. “Thank you for telling me sweetheart. You’re such a good girl.”

Skye rested her head on Mommy’s shoulder as she took her to the bathroom. She thought it must be getting close to naptime, and that maybe—not that she would ever admit it out loud—naps weren’t all _that_ bad. She stifled a yawn as Mommy took off her pants and untaped her diaper and sat her on the potty. She realized belatedly that she was peeing, and she wanted to be proud of herself for doing it on the potty, but she knew, deep down, that she hadn’t really done anything praiseworthy; she hadn’t even felt the need to go, it had just happened, and that only scared her more.

What was worse though, was that she couldn’t do what she’d come to the bathroom to do in the first place. The toilet seat was cold on her bottom, and if Mommy hadn’t been holding her, she’d definitely have fallen in. She was more afraid than she wanted to admit to herself, let alone to Mommy; too afraid to relax and let go. She felt even worse now, because she had tried to be big again, and failed, _again._

She was sobbing, hard and fast, before she really had time to process what was going on, and she hated it. She’d always been a crier, but this…this was ridiculous.

“I’m sorry, Mommy, I’m bad. I can’t do it. I tried to be good and big, but I can’t. I’m a bad girl.”

Mommy kissed her forehead, and taped her diaper back on, because it was clean, for once, though Skye didn’t think that would be the case for much longer.

“You’re not a bad girl, Skye,” Mommy told her.

“But you said I was good for trying to go on the potty, and I can’t, so I must be bad.” Skye was confused and angry with herself. She desperately wanted comfort, but at the same time, wasn’t sure she could accept it.

“Listen to me baby girl,” Mommy pulled her close, and rocked her, just a little. “You’re not bad. All I meant when I said you were good, was that I understood how hard it was for you to know that you needed to go, and come to me before it happened. You had to work really hard to pay attention enough to catch it and I know that’s hard work. That’s what I meant: I’m proud of you. If you need to use your diaper, that’s perfectly okay. That’s what it’s for.”

Skye sniffled. She felt sick, and now that her diaper was back on, she was aware of how badly she needed to go, but she didn’t want to move. She didn’t know if she _could_. Her entire world was falling apart around her, and she was terrified to leave Mommy, even if it meant that she was just a baby.

“I was scared.” She admitted, pressing her tear-streaked, snotty face into Mommy’s shoulder, fisting her shirt in both hands, because she was definitely going to crumble and fall apart if Mommy didn’t hold her. Her tummy clenched painfully and she closed her eyes and pretended it was happening to someone else.

Mommy rubbed her back, and it distracted her from the gross feeling in her diaper.

“Are you done?” Mommy asked.

Skye could only nod. She couldn’t believe what she had just done, sitting in Mommy’s lap too. She was such a baby…

“It’s okay baby girl. Mommy loves you no matter what. Even if you have an icky diaper. Let’s go get you changed, and then it’s naptime. I’ll give you a bottle, and read you a story if you want.” Mommy kissed Skye’s forehead.

Skye swallowed hard, past the sudden, painful lump in her throat. “What if I forget everything?” She wondered. It was such a scary thing to think about. “What if I forget how to be big? Or if I forget who you, and Daddy, and Leo and Jemma and Bobbi and Hunter are? Mommy, I’m so scared.”

“It’s okay, Skye. Even if you forget me, and I don’t think you will, I will always be your Mommy. No matter what happens, I will always be here to take care of you, even if you don’t remember me.”

“I don’t want to forget, Mommy. I’d be really sad if I forgot my family.”

“I don’t think you will. But let’s not worry about that right now. Right now, you need a clean diaper, and a bottle, and lots of cuddles. So let’s take care of that first. You’ve had a very stressful few days, and I think you need to rest.” Mommy stroked her hair and kissed her temple.

Skye just held on tight and let Mommy take care of her. It felt good when she was clean again, but she still hadn’t stopped crying—though whether she was mourning the loss of her independence, or was just too overwhelmed to cope with everything that had happened to her, she couldn’t say for sure.

Mommy didn’t put any pants on her when she was finished changing her, and Skye couldn’t bring herself to be bothered by it. She was just a baby, it didn’t matter if people could see her diaper. She curled up against Mommy, and sucked her thumb. She wanted her paci, but she felt too little to use her words and ask for it; when she tried, she just ended up crying harder.

“Poor baby,” Mommy said, and rocked her, gentle and slow and soothing. “Can you tell Mommy what’s wrong?”

“I’m not a big girl, Mommy. I’m trying really hard to be, but I’m not. I’m little and a baby and I don’t know how to fix it…”

“Shhh. I know. That’s okay.” Mommy kissed her forehead “I don’t want you to worry about being big anymore.”

Skye curled up tighter, gripping Mommy’s shirt so tight that her fingers started hurting. She didn’t know what to do; she was terrified of losing herself if she couldn’t be big. “But,” she pulled away, just far enough to look up at Mommy. “but I…” She shook her head. She was too little for words, they were far away, and she was coming apart at the seams, and they were going to send her back to the orphanage, she just _knew_ it.

“Sweetheart, look at how upset you’re getting. This isn’t good for you. If you forget, and we have to teach you how to be big again, then that’s okay. Part of being responsible, big or little, is knowing when to say that you can’t handle things on your own. Even if you’re just a baby, we still love you, and you’re still a member of this team, and you have a very important job.”

Skye blinked. “I do?”

“You do. Your new job, is to make someone on the team smile every day. It’s very important. We’ve all been under a lot of stress, and you’re really good at making people smile. We need that positive spirit to help us keep going. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes,” Skye nodded. She still had value, was still important.

“Do you want to nurse, baby? Will that help you feel better?”

Skye nodded and settled in Mommy’s arms. It wasn’t until she latched on that she realized how badly she’d needed this. She felt so safe, like nothing bad could happen to her. She held onto that security and closed her eyes, warm and safe with Mommy.

And then she was asleep.

 

[JEMMA]

Her cheek was sticky, and there was a wet patch on Daddy’s shirt—Jemma was embarrassed that she’d drooled on him. She shifted, her diaper was wet again, but it was okay, she was little. She very carefully disentangled herself from him and stood up. Her throat was dry and scratchy; she was very thirsty, and now that she as standing, she realized, very wet. She hoped that Mommy was in the kitchen so she could get changed, her rash was starting to hurt again, and she didn’t want to wake Daddy, because she thought he needed to sleep. He never took naps or anything, and he was always up before she was in the mornings, and he had a much later bedtime.

She shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes with her fists. Bobbi, Hunter, and Fitz were playing Scrabble at the table. She wanted to get her bottle out of the fridge, but she figured that Skye probably wasn’t strong enough to open the fridge on her own, so she’d have to ask for help too.

“Ecstasy doesn’t have an ‘x’ in it, Hunter.” Fitz was saying. “You can’t play that word.

“Well, this is the _new_ way to spell it.” Hunter returned.

Jemma giggled. They were silly.

“You can’t just _invent_ new spellings. That completely defeats the purpose of the game.” Fitz continued, and he sounded upset, but Jemma knew he was only pretending, and that was good, because she didn’t like it when he was mad.

“Fight nice, boys,” Bobbi said, and then turned to look at Jemma. “Hey sweetheart, did you wake up?”

Jemma nodded and yawned a little. She was still a little fuzzy from sleeping.

“Did you have a nice nap?”

Jemma nodded again. “I’m thirsty. Can you get me my bottle please?” Jemma stared at her toes; it was a little embarrassing to have to ask for help with something so simple.

“Of course, honey. And good job using your manners like a big girl, I’m proud of you.”

It was a simple thing, and if she’d been feeling big, she might’ve felt a little patronized, but she wasn’t big at all and she beamed at the praise.

Bobbi got up and took her bottle out of the fridge, giving it to Jemma while taking hold of her free hand. “Let’s go change your diaper and then you can play with us if you want.”

Jemma allowed Bobbi to lead her away, glad that she hadn’t made a big deal out of her wet nappy, especially in front of Fitz; she’d probably have died of embarrassment if that happened. They had to stop by May’s room to get the changing supplies, and they had to be quiet because Skye was sleeping.

“Will you hold me if I play?” Jemma asked, and then wished that she hadn’t because it was embarrassing to need that kind of comfort from Bobbi, but that didn’t stop her from wanting it.

Bobbi smiled. “I absolutely will, munchkin. It wouldn’t be very nice of me not to cuddle with my baby sister.”

Jemma smiled. She felt very little, and it was nice that someone thought of her as the baby for once.

“Make sure you tell one of the grown-ups when you need a new diaper, okay sweetie? Otherwise, your rash is going to get worse.”

“I will.” Jemma said. “Can I have my dummy? There’s some in the make-up bag on my desk.” She asked one Bobbi had finished changing her.

Bobbi nodded and went over to the bag. “Let’s see. We have crocodiles, kittens, a pirate flag, and a green, yellow, and blue one. Which one do you want?”

Jemma didn’t feel big enough to make that decision, so she said. “You pick.”

Bobbi brought one of her crocodile pacifiers over, and that made her happy because then Leo would see it and know that she’d appreciated his gift. “Here you go, baby.” She said, and slid it between Jemma’s teeth. She kissed Jemma’s nose. “All fresh and clean. Let’s go back to the kitchen.” She led Jemma by the hand back to the game; it didn’t look like they’d missed much at all.

Jemma was surprised when Bobbi lifted her off her feet and set her on her lap, instead of just pulling her down gently like Mommy did.

“We need to start putting more food in your tummy sweetheart.” Bobbi said. “You’re just skin and bones.”

Leo gave her a look across the table, and she knew that he’d noticed too, but hadn’t confronted her about it.

She looked away. It was really hard to eat all by herself sometimes, but that was embarrassing to say. She mostly snacked throughout the day, unless May or Phil fed her, and with all the stress she’d been under lately, she supposed it wasn’t unreasonable to assume she’d lost some weight.

“Do you want a snack?” Bobbi asked.

“Can I have a cookie?” Jemma wondered.

“You need to eat real food, honey. How about some carrot sticks. Or some grapes and cheese?”

“Grapes and cheese, please” Jemma said around her dummy.

“Good choice.” Bobbi kissed her temple and picked her up before going to the fridge to get the items she’d requested.

Jemma rested her head on Bobbi’s shoulder. It felt so good to be held, and it didn’t happen to her as often as she would have liked, because she wasn’t as little as Skye, so it was really nice that Bobbi and Phil could do it.

Being little was really scary sometimes, and she was very glad that she had so many people who knew what she needed. She kissed Bobbi’s cheek and then hid her face against her neck, embarrassed that she’d been so open about showing her affection; Skye was starting to rub off on her, but maybe that wasn’t so bad.

“I love you,” She murmured.

Bobbi sat back down at the table and gave Jemma a hug, rubbing her back just like Mommy did. “I love you too, honey.” She said. She fed Jemma a grape, and Jemma was very grateful that she hadn’t needed to ask to be fed, Bobbi just knew.

“I’ll feed you, but I need you to help me beat the boys, okay. We’ve got to show them that girls rule, and boys drool.” Bobbi grinned, and Jemma couldn’t help but smile back.

Leo looked at Hunter. “Apparently this has become a team game. If you make up any more words, I’m afraid I’ll have to vote you off the team.”

“You can’t do that,” Hunter’s voice was incredulous.

“I’m team captain.” Leo said. “Executive powers and all that.”

Hunter sighed. “This is so unfair.” He muttered.


	12. Chapter 12

[LEO]

Leo wondered why he was awake at a quarter past two in the morning, and then he heard it: the frantic but soft knocking on his door. He fumbled around in the dark for a moment, looking for the light switch. His coordination had come a long way since Ward had tried to kill him, and Jemma. He was working on acceptance—he couldn’t cope with something he couldn’t acknowledge honestly, after all—but it was hard; Ward had been like an older brother to him. He hoped, that somehow, there might be a way for his wayward friend to redeem himself, but Leo wasn’t holding his breath.

“Fitz?” Jemma’s voice was choked, panicked; garbled too, he thought she might have her dummy in her mouth.

Leo popped a stick of gum into his mouth before opening the door; he almost choked on it when Jemma barreled into him, arms winding around his middle, squeezing tightly enough that it was difficult to breathe.

He could tell by the way she was dressed that she was feeling little, if the too-big shirt, and the brightly colored sweatpants that didn’t completely hide the bulge of her nappy were any indication. A year ago, he would have been uncomfortable, asked her what on earth she was doing, behaving like a tot and wearing nappies.

But he’d been foolish then, naïve. Young and stupid and utterly convinced that he was invincible, and the near-death experiences and the traumatic brain injuries would always happen to someone else. He’d taken his safety for granted.

And then it had happened. One of his best friends, the older brother he’d never known he’d wanted had tried to _murder_ him and Jemma. It had been awful, and jarring, and there had been a few times in the early days, when each day was a new revelation of things he had lost, sometimes…he almost wished he _had_ died.

He’d come a long way since then, but now he understood what it was like to be truly vulnerable. To have the cocoon of safety you’d always had around you brutally ripped away. He was coping, and so was Jemma, their methods were just a little different.

Leo hugged her back carefully, gently, afraid that one wrong move would conly make her more upset.

“What’s wrong?” He askedquietly.

Jemma sniffled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I just had a bad dream and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ll just go…”

Leo held onto her, preventing her from moving. “Where will you go?” Leo asked. “I don’t want you to go and be by yourself.” He said honestly. It felt natural, looking after her

Jemma looked at the floor, and he knew that that was exactly what she’d planned on doing. She was too thin, she felt fragile in his arms, and the thought of leaving her to her own devices, especially in this state, made him physically ill to contemplate.

“I’ll be alright,” Jemma insisted, but her voice was watery and weak, and he knew she was lying. She’d gotten better since her undercover in HYDRA, but she couldn’t lie to him.

“I thought we were past all the lying.” He said, and voice came out firmer than he’d intended.

Jemma winced. “Sorry. I just don’t want to be a burden.” She confessed, and she was crying again.

Leo pulled her close, and she wept into his shirt. He rubbed her back, feeling woefully inadequate, but he had to try. This was _Simmons_ after all. “You’re not a burden, Jems. It’s okay to need help.” He told her. It had taken him a long time to realize that himself, and he didn’t want to see her suffer needlessly.

“I know it is. But it’s hard to ask. Especially from you, because of what today is.” Jemma told him softly, and pulled away from him so she could look into his eyes.

“It’s been a year since Ward tried to kill us.” Leo said flatly, he knew too. It was part of the reason he’d been chewing so much gum; he’d been almost beside himself with anxiety, and the gum helped to calm him. It wasn’t the same as the teething toy that May had got for him, but May and Phil had their hands full with Skye and Jemma. He wasn’t that little. He didn’t need that kind of help; he could manage on his own for now, he’d go to them when it got to be too much.

Jemma cringed. “I didn’t want to say anything. I was afraid that it would…”

Leo nodded. He knew she was afraid of making him worse, even though she’d never said as much to him. “I’m okay. I’m different now, but I’m coping. Thank you for thinking about how it would affect me, but I’m here for you too.”

“Can I…” Jemma stared at her toes. “Can I stay here with you? I don’t want to be alone.” She admitted, and he was proud of her for admitting it, though he didn’t say so; he was afraid that she’d see it as patronizing. She was obviously little, but he wasn’t sure if she was comfortable with that kind of praise from him yet.

“Of course you can. See, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

Jemma shook her head. “No…I suppose not.”

Leo could see the warring emotions playing out on her face; he’d been around both her and Skye enough when they were little to tell when they were trying to force themselves into a bigger headspace. But, he didn’t think that would be good for her, to force herself to cope differently than she needed to.

“Do you want a snack, bit?” He asked softly. “I know you’ve been having some trouble getting enough to eat…”

Jemma nodded. “Biscuits?” She asked hopefully, fiddling with something in her pocket; her dummy, probably.

Leo sighed. “As much as I’d like to say yes, May would absolutely murder me if she found out.”

Jemma made a face that was so heartwrenchingly adorable, and so reminiscent of Skye that Leo swallowed hard. He was a dead man either way, it seemed.

“Please?” Jemma drew out the word, lilting and soft and pleading.

Leo groaned. “Sod it. Fine. But if I get in trouble with May, the next time you want a snack, it’ll be some kind of disgusting vegetable. Like Brussel sprouts. Or canned squash.”

Jemma made a face. “Ew,”

“Let’s hope we don’t get caught, then, shall we?” He smiled easily. It was calmer this way, smoother, when she was little. Her eyes were bright and free of the anguish and pain and torment that her adult self carried around. He wanted to talk to her, help her through it, but they couldn’t seem to talk for more than a few minutes at a time without getting into some kind of argument when she was big…

Leo shook his head. There would be time to worry about those problems later. Right now, Jemma needed him. “Would you like a ride to the kitchen?” he asked.

Jemma looked skeptical, and she had her dummy out now, playing with it absently. “Will you carry me?”

“I can, but I had something else in mind.” Leo told her, and knelt on the floor. “Climb on; I hope you’re not too big for a piggyback ride.”

Jemma smiled at him and clambered onto him; he could tell when he stood that she wasn’t eating nearly enough.

The kitchen was empty, thankfully, and Leo managed to take the cookie jar down from the fridge without making too much noise. He piled a few cookies on a plate and poured two glasses of milk before sitting down with everything at the table. Jemma climbed into his lap and leaned back against him---he was glad she felt so comfortable with him, but it was unexpected nonetheless.

She was yawning by the time she’d finished, so this time, he _did_ carry her back to his bedroom. He’d just sat down on the bed with her when she spoke.

“Fitz…We need to talk.” Jemma said, and sucked on her dummy, clearly drifting between big and little. She was uncomfortable, he could tell, he just didn’t know why. “About what you said to me in the pod.”

 _That_.

“I didn’t mean…” he paused searching for the right words. “I do love you, Jemma. And I don’t mean to put you in an awkward position. I just meant…I _need_ you to be okay. Happy. Safe. And I understand if you don’t feel like you can do that, _be_ that with me. I’m different now than I was before; we both are. I just need to know that you’re alright.”

“I’m not alright, Fitz.” Jemma confessed, her eyes welling up. “I’m scared all the time, I can’t sleep at night…I’m a mess. I actually _need_ my dummy now. I can’t sleep without it. I know it must make you uncomf—“

“So what?” Fitz interrupted. He didn’t want her to think that he was uneasy around her because she was little. She’d been through enough, lost enough. She didn’t need to think she couldn’t count on him, too.

“So what if you need it? That doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you any less brilliant or kind or intuitive…There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little comfort.” He echoed himself, and it seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d first uttered those words to her, back at the academy, when the world was still good and everything could be solved with a little teamwork and some elbow grease, because they were FitzSimmons, and together they could accomplish anything.

She curled up against him, small and fragile and vulnerable, and he propped himself up with the headboard.

“I miss you,” Jemma admitted, resting her head on his chest. “I miss you so much. It’s been unbearable. I know I’ve been distant, and I’m sorry…I’m trying.” She trembled, and he felt her tears soaking into his shirt. He squeezed her gently, hoping it was enough to comfort her. “Please don’t…don’t give up on me.”

“Never that, love. I know you’re trying. I am too. But we’re different people now, and I think we’ve been trying so hard to go back to the way things were, that we never stopped to get to know the new us.” Leo stroked her hair. “I’m Leopold Fitz.” He held out his hand and Jemma took it, gripping it with enough strength that his fingertips tingled.

“Jemma Simmons.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance. I’m complete rubbish at puzzles now, and I don’t talk as much as I used to. I also would like a dog. Monkeys are nice, but they’re a bit impractical in a place like this.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Leopold Fitz. I think you’ll find that I’m not very good at being a big person. I try, but it’s hard. Sometimes, I just need to be little, and have someone look after me. Very unusual, I know, and not at all what one would expect a biochemist to be doing in her spare time, but…”

“That’s perfectly alright.” Leo said easily, looking down at her. “I don’t mind at all. It’s nice looking after you, if you’re comfortable with it.”

Jemma nodded. “You make me feel safe.” She said, and ducked her head; Leo thought she must be blushing. “I can’t say anything definite about my other feelings for you, Leopold, but I know that much.”

“I’m flattered.” Leo told her. “And I’d hardly expect you to be able to sort out your feelings towards me so quickly Miss Simmons, we _have_ just met after all. And anyway, my friends call me ‘Leo’. Or Fitz. Whichever.”

“Please excuse my forwardness, Leo. I meant no offense. I’m a bit scatterbrained just now. And, my friends call me Jemma.”

“That’s alright Jemma. I understand. I’m a little preoccupied myself. Today is the anniversary of a very…life-changing event for me.”

“Me too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Leo asked. He really didn’t want to, but he could do it if that was what Jemma needed.

Jemma shook her head. “I’d really rather not…Will you read to me?” she asked.

Leo nodded. “Before we do that though, I’ve got you a gift.” He reached over and took the small box off his nightstand.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to…” Jemma opened the box carefully. Inside was a small, dark green square. It was a blanket, downy soft, softer than Skye’s even, or at least, Leo hoped so.

“I know blankets are more Skye’s thing than yours, but I thought you’d like it. I thought it might remind you of…solid ground. It seemed appropriate, considering…”

Jemma hugged him tightly. “It’s wonderful Leo. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it, bit.” He said. He wanted to kiss her temple, but he didn’t, afraid he’d be going too far, too fast. “What would you like to read?”

“Surprise me,” Jemma said simply.

Leo reached over and took _The Phantom Tollbooth_ off his nightstand. He was rather fond of the book, having read it many times as a boy, and he hoped Jemma would like it too. He cleared his throat, and Jemma curled up against him.

It was like being back at the academy all over again. Jemma had never been good with change, and she’d been so uncomfortable at the academy that she slept in his room more often than not. All Leo’s mates had thought they’d been having sex, but really, they would just watch TV, and sometimes, when she was especially distraught, he would read to her. It had been easy then. Natural.

He knew that the road that lay ahead of them wouldn’t be easy; they had a lot to work through, both on their own and together. They would probably have their fair share of tiffs and arguments while they ironed out the kinks, but he was confident as he read to her, curled up against him in the dim, quiet room, that everything would be okay in the end.


	13. Chapter 13

[SKYE]

Skye tried to hold still while Mommy brushed her teeth for her, but it was hard.

Leo and Jemma were talking to each other again, even when Jemma wasn’t little, and they were really fun to be around, even if she didn’t always understand what they were saying.

“All done. You can spit now, but only into the sink.” Mommy said.

Skye spit out the leftover toothpaste. It was fun when Mommy brushed her teeth—her mouth got all foamy, and it felt sort of tingly after her teeth were clean; but the toothpaste made her tummy hurt if she swallowed it. She forgot about that sometimes, since it taste like the mint candies Hunter gave to her—Mommy didn’t like that very much, because she said it wasn’t safe for babies to have hard candy, so Hunter had gotten different mints that she could chew on.

“Good job, honey. Now, let’s go get dressed. Do you know what you want to wear?”

Skye shrugged. It didn’t really matter to her. She was little, and she liked it when Mommy picked out her clothes. She sat on the bed while Mommy looked through her closet; Skye had more or less moved into Melinda’s room now, she didn’t have much use for anything in her bunk, and she was afraid to sleep by herself.

Mommy dressed her in a shirt and sweatpants, and tied her hair back; then she kissed her on the forehead. “Okay. Go and play, baby girl. Mommy has some work to do for a little bit. Be good and listen to your siblings, okay?”

“’Kay. Can I have my paci?” Skye wondered. She thought that maybe she understood why Jemma liked hers so much—she was starting to need hers too. She shifted a little while she waited for Mommy to get her pacifier, and realized that she was wet. Whether it had happened at breakfast, or while Mommy was brushing her teeth, or thirty seconds ago, she couldn’t say. She would’ve been a lot more worried about it if Mommy hadn’t told her not to worry about being big. She knew she should probably ask to get changed, but she didn’t feel _that_ wet, and diaper changes took a while sometimes, and she was excited to go play, so she kept quiet.

Mommy checked her diaper anyway, because somehow, Mommy always knew when she was wet. She pouted, fully anticipating another diaper change and another delay on her way to playtime, but Mommy said:

“You’re a little wet, but you’ll be okay for a little while. Make sure to ask Jemma to change you in a few minutes though. Bobbi and Hunter went to the store, so it’s just us and FitzSimmons; Daddy will be working with me this morning.”

Skye frowned. Jemma had never changed her diaper before, and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with that.

Mommy brushed some hair out of her face and kissed her temple. “It’s okay, baby. Jemma knows what she’s doing. Nothing bad will happen, I promise.”

Skye sucked her pacifier and tried to relax. If Mommy said it would be okay, then she was probably right. She was right about most things.

“I love you sweetheart.” Mommy said, and gave her a hug.

“Do you really have to go?” Skye sniffled, she didn’t want to cry, but it seemed like that decision was being made for her. “I don’t want you to go…” She thought she would be okay with being away from Mommy, but now that it was happening, she was scared.

“It’s only for a few hours, baby girl. You could stay with Daddy and I if you want to, but I think you’ll have more fun with FitzSimmons. We’re going to be doing lots of boring grown-up stuff.”

Skye tried not to panic at the thought of being away from Mommy, because really, it wasn’t that bad; they would be in the same building, and Mommy would be nearby if there was an emergency. She understood, but she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding, and she couldn’t seem to get enough air no matter how hard she tried.

Desperate times, she supposed, called for desperate measures. She pulled off her pants, but lost her balance in the middle of trying, and fell down hard on her butt. It didn’t hurt that much because of her diaper, but Mommy looked a little worried anyway.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Skye nodded.

“You know, if you didn’t want to wear pants, you could have just told me.”

Skye smiled big, hoping that it was cute enough that Mommy wouldn’t notice that she hadn’t actually answered. Then, she went over to the drawer where Mommy kept her diapers, and took out a clean diaper, powder, and the wipes—it was difficult to hold it all, but she managed—and brought them over to the bed.

“Will you change me?” She asked. She didn’t mind being wet, sometimes she even liked it, but changing time was special—it was just her and Mommy, and she needed her Mommy to stay with her, and this was the only way she could think of.

Mommy raised an eyebrow, but she lifted Skye onto the bed. She didn’t change her right away, just held her in her lap and rocked her. She rubbed Skye’s back under her shirt, and Skye fisted Mommy’s shirt in her hands.

“You really want to stay with Mommy today, huh baby?”

Skye nodded. She felt way too little to talk, and she was afraid that she’d cry if she took her pacifier out, even though she knew that big girls used their words. But, she wasn’t a big girl at all, and she just wanted Mommy to hold her.

“Peez. Want you Mommy.” Skye said, clinging to Mommy’s shirt for all she was worth. She buried her face in Mommy’s shoulder; her speech was slipping now too, and while she was okay with her rapidly disappearing potty-training, and her tiny size, she couldn’t stand the thought of losing her ability to communicate too. Big, fat tears dripped off her chin, soaking into Mommy’s shirt. She sucked hard on her paci, trying desperately to soothe herself, but it didn’t work very well.

“Alright. You can sit in the office with Daddy and I while we work, but you have to behave, okay?”

Skye nodded. “I good.” She’d meant to say that she’d _be_ good, but it hadn’t come out right. “Promise.”

Mommy kissed nose and laid her gently on the bed. She kept her hand on Skye’s tummy the whole time she was changing her, and Skye felt so safe; she was really glad Mommy was so good at changing diapers that she could do it with one hand.

Mommy picked her up and settled her on her hip; Skye rested her head on Mommy’s shoulder. She was glad she’d been allowed to stay with Mommy—she wasn’t normally this clingy, but she really needed to be with Mommy today.

Daddy was already in the office when they got there. He smiled at Skye and took her from May to give her a hug. Skye squeezed back hard; it’d been a while since she’d had a hug from Daddy, and she’d forgotten how good they felt.

“Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well?”

Skye nodded, since she didn’t remember any bad dreams. She snuggled up to Daddy; he smelled like mints and freshly pressed shirts, and he was warm, and Skye felt so safe with him.

“Did you have breakfast yet, sweetheart?” Daddy asked.

Skye shook her head. “’M not hungry.” She said, and that wasn’t entirely true, but she was afraid she wouldn’t be allowed to come back if she left to go and eat something. Her tummy growled then, and betrayed her, and she thought she was going to cry again, because Daddy would hear that and know that she really _was_ hungry, even though she’d said she wasn’t.

“I brought you some snacks anyway, in case you get hungry later.” Mommy said. She reached into Skye’s diaper bag and took out a small container of trail mix, a bottle filled with juice, and a small bag of dry cereal. Skye was very grateful.

“Thank you,” she said.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome, baby. Do you want to sit with me, or Daddy?”

Skye frowned. She didn’t want to have to choose between them. She needed Mommy, but she also hadn’t gotten to spend much time with Daddy, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings by picking Mommy over him.

“Can I take turns?” She asked.

Mommy nodded. “That’s fine.”

“I’ll sit with you first.” Skye decided. “Can I have my blanket?”

Mommy reached into the diaper bag and handed it to her. “I thought you might want it.”

Skye took her blanket and rubbed it against her cheek; she’d missed it. She took the food and her bottle and curled up under Mommy’s desk. It was dark, but she wasn’t afraid, because Mommy was right there, and it was cozy, and she could see enough to munch on her snacks. Mommy gave her a few small toys to play with too, and it was nice to have something to do.

It was a little boring, but she was safe with Mommy and Daddy, and that was much better than being scared. Her tummy felt full, and she knew that meant that she’d have a dirty diaper soon, but she couldn’t think of anything to do about it, because she was definitely too scared to use the potty, so she just kept playing.

She didn’t cry when it happened this time; it was still yucky, but she was starting to get used to the feeling, and she didn’t feel like she needed to cry about it anymore. She didn’t play for very long afterward though, she wanted to be changed, but she was embarrassed to tell Mommy that she’d pooped.

In the end, she didn’t need to, because Mommy already knew. She checked Skye’s diaper and then looked at Daddy.

“Your turn,” She said. “Skye has a present for you.”

Skye was confused. Had she forgotten Daddy’s birthday? She didn’t think so, but she was embarrassed, because she’d obviously forgotten some important date, and she didn’t actually _have_ anything to give him. She stared at the floor; Daddy was going to be so sad when she told him, and she didn’t want him to be sad.

“I’m sorry Daddy,” She said quietly, playing her pacifier absently. She was glad that it was clipped to her shirt so it couldn’t get lost. “I don’t have any gifts for you. I didn’t know I was ‘uppossed to get you anything…”

Daddy just chuckled and kissed her forehead. “It’s just an expression baby. It means that you need a clean diaper, that’s all. Don’t worry.”

Skye let out a sigh of relief. She’d have felt awful if she’d forgotten Daddy’s birthday.

Daddy picked her up, and slung her diaper bag over his other shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

*.*.*.*.

Jemma and Leo came to find her later on. She’d just woken up from her nap, so she wasn’t exactly sure what was going on; she was still in Mommy and Daddy’s office, so it couldn’t have been anything too bad.

“There you are!” Jemma sounded genuinely excited to see her, but Skye could tell by the way she was dressed that she wasn’t little at the moment.

“Hi,” She said. Her throat was dry and scratchy, and she wondered what had happened to her bottle.

“Would you like to play some games with us in the lab?” Leo offered.

Skye knew that they were going to test her again, make sure she hadn’t lost anything else, but she was afraid to go by herself, even though she’d done it alone last time.

“Can Mommy come too?” she asked.

“Of course!” Jemma smiled too, bright and happy.

Skye looked at Mommy hopefully, suddenly afraid that she’d say that she was too busy. But she didn’t.

She scooped Skye up, and Skye thought she’d never get tired of being held, and they went down to the lab together.

“So,” Fitz began. “I assume you got my report,”

“Our report,” Jemma interjected and Fitz nodded.

“ _Our_ report…”

Mommy nodded. “Still no progress?”

“Well there have been some developments,”

“Cognitive theories nonwithstanding, since Skye seems to be—“

“Right, but there’s still the memory issue to deal with,”

“And the developmental repercussions to consider,”

Skye just looked back and forth between the two of them. She couldn’t follow what they were saying exactly, but the important thing was that FitzSimmons was…FitzSimmons-ing again. She smiled.

“Time.” That was Daddy’s voice, but he didn’t sound upset, and when Skye looked at him, he was smiling. “Any progress?”

“Not really,” Fitz admitted, in the same instant that Jemma said:

“No, sorry.”

“But,” Fitz held up a finger, like he was about to say something really important. “We have an idea.”

“Okay…” Mommy sounded a little impatient.

“We should start a photo album. Like a family one.” Jemma gushed. “It’ll help Skye’s memory. And, anyways it seems like it would be nice.

Mommy nodded. She set Skye down on the floor. “Go stand with FitzSimmons, Skye.”

Fitz and Simmons knelt on the floor, and Skye stood between them, each of them had a hand on her shoulder. Mommy and Daddy crouched down behind them, and Jemma held out her phone with her free hand.

“Say ‘cheese’ everyone!”

There wasn’t a flash, which was nice, and the picture was beautiful. Everyone was smiling and happy, and they looked like a real family, and Skye was thrilled to see it.

“Can you send this to me?” Skye wondered. She hadn’t really been doing much with her phone since the incident, but she thought it would still be nice to have.

“Sure thing,” Jemma said.

“Are we still going to play some games?” Skye asked hopefully. Fitz and Simmons were really fun to play with.

“Absolutely.” Fitz answered.

The games were mostly the same as last time, although Skye didn’t remember them being quite so difficult the last time through. Fitz’s pictures were much harder to copy, even though she could still do it, but she kept falling on her bottom when she tried to balance on one foot.

Jemma spent a long time taking notes when that happened, and spent a lot more time than Skye was comfortable with frowning sympathetically. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and decided to ask about it, even though she was a little afraid of what the answer would be.

“What is it? Why do you look so upset?”

Jemma sighed and bit her lip, something she normally did when she was considering something that wasn’t entirely honest.

“It’s nothing too serious.” She said, and plastered on a smile.

“What’s wrong? Tell me.” Skye asked again, trying to be like Mommy and be firm and not tolerate arguments, but it was hard when she was so little.

“Your coordination has gotten a little worse than last time we tried this.” Jemma admitted. “And you mixed up your counting and alphabet at the end. ‘x’ comes before ‘y’ darling.”

Skye tried to hide how much that bothered her, especially since she’d been so certain that she was right while she’d been doing it. She sucked on her pacifier for comfort and snuggled with Daddy; Mommy had gone to the bathroom.

Daddy held her close and rocked her gently. “It’s okay, Skye. No matter what happens, we’ll be here to help.”

Skye didn’t say anything. People kept telling her that, and she knew that they meant well, but it didn’t make things any less scary for her. She didn’t want to lose any more than she already had, though it didn’t look like she had much of a choice.

“It’s going to be okay, Skye.” Daddy told her, patting her bottom gently as he rocked her. “We’re going to fix this. Just try not to worry about it, okay? We’ll work on your counting and your alphabet and your coordination so you don’t lose any more. Doctor Banner said that as long as you practice, you should be okay until we can find something to get you back to normal.”

“I’m scared. What if I get too little, and you guys get tired of me?” Skye wondered. It seemed like that was definitely a possibility with the way things were going.

“That will never happen.” Daddy said, and his voice was kind, but firm; it left no room for arguing.

Skye relaxed into his embrace and tried to believe him.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

[LEO]

 

Leo hit the mat hard, the breath leaving him in a rush. He heaved himself back to his feet before Phil could capitalize on the opening. He threw up an arm to block the punch he barely caught in his peripheral vision, then retaliated with a few strikes of his own.

He leapt over the ankle sweep Phil tried and tackled him to the floor, he held the finishing blow in check however, he didn’t want to hurt Phil. He reached down to help Coulson off the floor and clapped him on the shoulder.

“You’re getting better, Fitz. Pretty soon you’ll be sparring with May. But, you should go for the finishing blow when you have the opening—you don’t normally get a second chance at those.”

He nodded. “I know. But it’s not necessary here; unless you’re planning on killing me and haven’t gotten around to it yet…” He smiled. It felt good to joke again, to be in enough command of his language skills to make other people feel good. “Besides, I’d rather not become accustomed to gratuitous violence, sir. I understand that it’s necessary sometimes, but I think President Roosevelt had a point when he said: ‘ _Walk softly_ and carry a big stick’. If you start getting too used to the grittier parts of the job, you start forgetting that violence isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, getting into fights causes more problems than it solves.”

Phil nodded and clapped Leo on the shoulder. “Very insightful, Agent Fitz. That being said, if you’re in a life-or-death situation, and you have the opening, don’t hesitate.”

Fitz nodded.

“That’s all for today, Fitz. You can take the rest of the day off.”

“Thank you sir.” Fitz nodded and took his leave. He stopped by the bathroom in the gym to splash cold water on his face—at least now, he could do that without having a panic attack. He’d just gone back to the main area of the complex, about to head to his bunk to have a proper shower, when Skye attached herself to his leg.

“Hi, Fitz!” She sang, giggling when he continued to walk despite her clinging to him.

Fitz took a few more steps before pausing to disentangle Skye from his leg, lifting her onto his shoulders instead. “Hey Skye. What are you up to little one?”

“Nothing.” Skye heaved a sigh and rested her chin on top of his head. “Ew. You’re all sweaty and gross. What were _you_ doing?” She complained, sitting up straight again.

Leo held onto Skye’s legs with one arm so she wouldn’t fall, then reached up and poked her in the ribs. “I was exercising. Some of us don’t have tiny bodies and extremely fast metabolisms, so we have to exercise, or we get fat.” He explained. “And, since I’m all _sweaty_ and _gross_ , I’m going to go shower.”

“After you’re done, do you wanna come feed the duckies at the park with me and Jemma?”

Leo lifted Skye off his shoulders and settled her on his hip so he could look at her. “That sounds like a wonderful idea. Why don’t you go get dressed and play until I’m done.”

Skye hardly wore anything other than a t-shirt and a nappy while they were at the base; she didn’t seem worried at all about modesty, but if she was comfortable, Leo didn’t mind. It was less awkward for him now, because she was actually little.

“’Kay. But don’t take too long, I don’t think I’m allowed to skip naptime to go and feed the aminals…Animals.” She corrected herself, frowning.

Leo bounced a little, hoping the unexpected motion would make her smile; it did, but her grin seemed a little forced to him. “It’s okay Skye. I know what you mean. Try not to get too upset over it, alright?” He tickled her again, and this time, her laugh sounded genuine. “No sad faces, otherwise I’ll have to get the tickle monster to cheer you up.”

Skye blinked. “The tickle monster? Is that a real thing?” Skye pressed tighter against him, and Leo felt a little bad for scaring her.

He nodded, and moved his hand very slowly toward her so she would understand what he meant.

Skye grabbed his hand, giggling already, even though he hadn’t touched her. “No…” She drew out the word. “No tickle monster!” She almost squirmed out of his grasp, so he put her down and she ran away from him.

Leo gave chase, letting her have a comfortable lead; it wouldn’t be any fun for her if he caught her straight away.

“Jemma! Help!” Skye almost ran headlong into the biochemist, but Jemma’s quick reflexes saved her from a nasty collision—she swung Skye up into her arms instead.

“What is it, love?”

Skye was out of breath from running, so it took her a moment to answer. “The tickle monster’s gonna get me!” She explained. “We have to hide!”

“What’s this now?” Jemma wondered.

“The tickle monster.” Skye reiterated, speaking as though it was common knowledge.

“Don’t worry,” Leo said. “You’re safe.”

Skye wound her arms around Jemma’s neck and stared at him, her expression extremely skeptical. “Are you sure?”

Leo nodded. “Positive.”

“Okay,” Skye relented, but she didn’t sound completely convinced. She looked at Jemma. “Will you take me to Mommy so I can get ready?”

Jemma nodded. “Sure. Are you coming too, Leo?”

Leo nodded again. “I’ll be there. I just have to go clean up.”

“Alright.” Jemma told him, and smiled.

Leo smiled back. It was still a little awkward between them when Jemma was big, but he was confident that they would work things out with a little time and patience. He waved to Skye, and then headed off to shower.

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

“Lie back,” Jemma told her, sitting the changing supplies down on the bed.

“No.” Skye replied, folding her arms, and glaring back at Jemma defiantly. Changing time was for her and Mommy, or Daddy. It was special, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to share it with Jemma.

Jemma sighed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you…” she pursed her lips and reached for Skye’s diaper, as though she was going to check her, and Skye definitely wasn’t okay with that.

“No!” Skye said more firmly, shoving Jemma’s hand away from her. “It’s mine!” She knew she was being selfish, that Jemma deserved her time with Mommy and Daddy too, but changing time was _hers_ , like nursing, something that she needed way more than Jemma. She was afraid too, that if Mommy and Daddy stopped doing it, then Jemma and Bobbi would start doing it more, and she would lose her special time with them.

Jemma chuckled a little. “I know it’s yours, baby. But it’s wet, and it needs to come off.”

Skye’s eyes burned with a tangle of emotions: frustration, anger, and no small amount of fear. It didn’t help that Jemma thought she was talking about her diaper, rather than her time with Mommy and Daddy during changes.

“You can’t change me. You’re not allowed; you’re too little.” Skye said and scooted further away.

“Skye…” Jemma implored her, but didn’t move from her place. “I’m only trying to help.”

“Don’t want you.” Skye said, and then she was crying, and angry with herself for breaking down in front of Jemma. “Want Mommy.” She knew she could trust Jemma, that she wouldn’t hurt her—even if she _had_ hit her with a pillow—but she’d never done it before, and she wouldn’t know to be gentle, and she might be upset if Skye needed to hold onto her like she did to Mommy.

Skye pulled her blanket out from under her pillow and curled up in a ball, facing away from Jemma.

The bed shifted and Jemma curled around her, and they fit together like spoons, even though Skye was much smaller. Jemma’s fingers were gentle as she reached around and stroked Skye’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. I really just wanted to help; I want to be a good big sister like Bobbi; but we can wait for Mommy if you want.”

Skye felt a little bad after hearing that. She still wasn’t comfortable with Jemma changing her yet, but at least she could understand where she was coming from. She rolled over and snuggled into Jemma, crying into her shirt. She was such a baby…

“’M so’y too. Shouldn’ ‘ave yelled at you.” Skye didn’t even realize her thumb was in her mouth until halfway through her sentence.

Jemma kissed her forehead. “I’m not mad. It’s okay. I understand that it’s scary—I was scared to even _wear_ nappies at first, so that makes you braver than me.”

Skye didn’t know if she believed that, but she smiled anyway.

“Everything okay in here?” Mommy asked.

Skye settled on Jemma’s lap when she sat up.

“I was trying to change Skye’s nappy for you so we could get ready to go, but I don’t think she’s ready for that yet.” Jemma explained.

“That’s okay. Thank you for trying to help, Jemma.” Mommy said, and lifted Skye out of her lap, laying her on the bed so she could change her. She looked at Jemma. “Are you wearing your pull-up?”

Jemma shook her head.

May reached into the diaper bag next to the bed and took one out. “I need you to put one on, just in case. The bathrooms at public parks aren’t always very clean, and I know you sometimes have trouble waiting until we get home.”

Jemma took it, but didn’t move to put it on, and Skye watched the unfolding events with rapt attention.

“I don’t want to wear it.” Jemma said quietly, and Skye was surprised, because Jemma didn’t normally argue.

“Jemma, it’s not up for discussion. You can wear a diaper if you want instead, but you need to wear some kind of protection while we’re out. Or you can stay here. It’s up to you; I’m sure Bobbi wouldn’t mind babysitting.”

Jemma looked upset, maybe a little mad, but she’d also been Little all morning, so it made sense that Mommy would be so firm about it. “No.” she said. “I’m a big girl and you can’t make me wear it.” She threw it onto the floor.

“You’re not acting very big,” Mommy said calmly, raising an eyebrow. “If you need help, that’s okay too, but you’ll have to wait until I’m done changing the baby.”

Skye felt good when Mommy called her that; it made her feel special.

“I _said_ : _I don’t want to wear it_.” Jemma almost shouted, stomping on the pull-up.

Skye froze. Jemma was definitely on her way to a time-out: she’d thrown something that wasn’t made for throwing because she was mad; even though it wouldn’t hurt anyone,that was still definitely a no-no. _And_ , she’d raised her voice to Mommy.

She’d _yelled_.

 _At Mommy_.

Skye thought that she’d probably be all-grown-up by the time Jemma got out of time-out for that; and her butt would probably hurt from sitting for so long, but Mommy didn’t seem particularly angry.

“Are you done?”

Jemma sniffled and looked at the floor. She was crying, and that made Skye want to hug her, but she figured that Mommy could probably handle that.

“Yes.” She murmured.

“Look at me, and tell me you’re done.” Mommy instructed gently.

Jemma slowly met Mommy’s eyes. “I’m done, Mommy. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Mommy said. “But I want you to go stand in the corner for two minutes and think about what you can do next time you’re upset, instead of having a tantrum.”

Jemma sniffled.

Mommy reached into the diaper bag and took out Jemma’s pacifier, sliding it between Jemma’s teeth and smoothing her hair out of her face so she could kiss her forehead. “I love you, baby.” She said, and gave Jemma a hug before sending her to the corner.

Skye didn’t make fun of Jemma, because that would be mean, but it _was_ a little satisfying to see someone else end up in the naughty corner instead of her. Most of the time it was Hunter’s fault in the first place, but _he_ never got sent to the corner.

Mommy turned to Skye. “Okay sweetheart, let’s get you changed so we can go.”

Mommy was fast, but gentle as she changed Skye’s diaper; Skye was very happy when she picked out the jacket and sunglasses that looked just like hers as part of her outfit. She picked out Jemma’s clothes too—Jemma had decided to wear her pull-up, and she was considerably calmer after her time out.

Once everyone was presentable, they all piled into the SUV and headed off to the park; Skye was surprised that even Bobbi and Hunter decided to come along. It was her first time being in her carseat with other people around, so she was a little embarrassed, but no one teased her about it. Well, except Hunter, but she knew he didn’t mean it.

Mommy held Skye as they made their way down to the water, and Daddy held Jemma’s hand while she carried the bread crumbs.

“Okay, everyone stay away from the water.” Daddy said, looking long and hard at Hunter and Leo—they tended to get into mischief when they were together. “It’s a little chilly to be getting wet.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Jemma said quietly, and Skye echoed her a moment later.

Leo didn’t seem particularly excited to feed the ducks, so he, Hunter, and Daddy went to throw the football; Leo and Hunter both protested that it wasn’t a _real_ football.

Mommy and Bobbi stayed to help them feed the ducks.

Skye held out her handful of bread crumbs, and was disappointed when none of the waterfowl approached her.

“You have to throw it to them, baby girl.” Mommy told her. “They’re scared of you.”

“They’re scared of me? But I’m just little…” Skye reasoned. “I’m not going to hurt ‘em. I just wanna make sure they eat their brea’fast so they don’t get grumpy later.”

Mommy kissed her temple. “I know, honey. But they don’t know that. And…” Mommy paused and hugged Skye around the waist with one arm. “You see those little ones over there?”

Skye nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Those ones are the babies. Their mommies and daddies want to stay close so they can keep them safe. They won’t come all the way over here to get food if it means they have to be far away from their little ones.” Mommy explained, and Skye thought that made sense.

She threw her handful of crumbs as hard as she could, and was pleased to see some of the birds swimming over to eat them.

“Bobbi, that one’s not getting any food!” Jemma sounded distressed. “Tell them to share!”

Both Bobbi and Jemma had crouched down, but even then, Bobbi was still big enough to cuddle her like Mommy was doing.

Bobbi laughed and kissed Jemma’s temple. “I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way little one. They’re just birds. They don’t think like we do. Try throwing some over there too, make them spread out a little, that might help.”

Skye watched as Jemma scattered more crumbs, and she was happy to see that the little one did end up grabbing some of the leftovers. Then she focused on feeding more of the birds closer to her and Mommy; she was a little disappointed when they ran out of bread crumbs.

“Sorry, duckies.” She said sadly. “I don’t gots anymore food.” She held out her empty hands, hoping the birds would understand. They lingered for a moment, and then swam away. Skye looked up at Mommy. “Can we come back tomorrow?”

Mommy hugged her. “Not tomorrow, but we’ll come back another day. We can’t come and feed them too often, otherwise they’ll get used to eating people food, and then they won’t be able to get food for themselves.”

“Oh.”

“Want to go see what they boys are up to?” Mommy asked.

Skye shrugged. “Okay.” She didn’t really care what they did, if she was being honest.

As long as she was with her family, she would be happy.


	15. Chapter 15

[JEMMA]

 

Daddy had said not to go near the water, but she wasn’t _that_ close to it. And, she still had some leftover breadcrumbs in her coat pockets for the ducks to eat. The ground was slick and muddy, and she thought that maybe it hadn’t been a very good idea to come and try to feed the ducks all by herself.

Little Jemma wasn’t very good at making decisions either

“Be careful, Jemma. You’ll get sick if you fall in.” Bobbi said, and Jemma whirled, having forgotten that she was nearby.

She slipped in the muck, and felt herself going down, and she knew at a glance that Bobbi was too far away to catch her before she hit the water.

She fell forever.

Everything was happening in slow motion, and the world was all muted colors and dull, static-y noise, like everything was being filtered through an old television.

She felt, rather than heard herself screaming, a tearing sensation in her throat, a wound that dripped acid and bile.

Her splash was both great and small, beautiful and terrible, magnificent and cataclysmic. The millions of tiny droplets that soared heavenward were breathtaking, for an instant, and then the water closed around her.

Jemma tried to keep her head, to not panic, but her mind had its own agenda, and all she could see was the inside of the pod, Fitz’s hand slamming down on the detonator. She opened her mouth to scream, to tell him that they would find another way, and got a lungsful of water instead.

So _that_ was what it felt like to drown. The pain was awful, and she couldn’t see the surface because of all the mud in the water, and just as she was sure that she was going to die down here, inches from the surface, when she’d escaped certain doom at the bottom of the ocean, a hand reached down and hauled her out of the abyss.

She coughed hard, throwing up a mouthful of gross pond water, while struggling to breathe at the same time.

“That’s it lass, get it out.” Fitz’s voice was gentle and encouraging; he patted her back to help her clear her lungs.

Jemma sank numbly onto her backside when she’d finished coughing. Her words had vanished, and she was wet and cold and absolutely terrified. She wanted to have words. She wanted to thank Fitz for saving her, apologize to Bobbi for not listening, but she couldn’t do it.

She tried to get up, move around at least, but she couldn’t do that either. She knew what was happening to her, she’d seen it happen to Fitz a few times before she’d gone undercover with HYDRA, and the worst thing about it was, that even though she understood what was happening, she couldn’t do anything about it.

She was stuck there, frozen, a prisoner in her own body, and all she could think about was how much she needed Mommy.

Mommy could fix this. Mommy could make it better.

“Are you okay, honey?” Bobbi asked, kneeling down next to her.

She felt safer then, big enough to talk, but only a little.

“Mommy,” she said.

“Okay. We’ll get her sweetheart, don’t worry.” Bobbi assured her.

But Mommy was there before Bobbi could call for her.

“I’m right here, baby.” Mommy hugged her tight, and Jemma curled up small so Mommy could hold her. She was glad that Mommy wasn’t yelling at her for falling in, because she didn’t know how to deal with yelling right now. “I’m right here with you.”

*.*.*.*.

Jemma didn’t remember how they had gotten home, only that Mommy had held her the whole time. Now they were in the bathroom in Mommy’s room, and Mommy was helping Jemma undress to get in the bath.

Jemma had started crying as soon as they’d gotten into the bathroom and she was undressed, and curled up on Mommy’s lap, fisting her shirt, and pressing her face into Mommy’s shoulder as Mommy rocked her and rocked her and rocked her. She sucked her dummy, and that helped a little.

“Baby,” Mommy said quietly into her ear. “It’s okay now. You’re safe. I’ve got you, I’ve got you. Shh.”

Jemma was comforted by Mommy’s words, but she couldn’t stop crying. She didn’t care that she was naked in Mommy’s lap; the embarrassment, shame, the awkwardness of it all was in a far away place. She was little, and she was safe with Mommy. Nothing else mattered.

Her tummy hurt, a deep ache that was different from the one that meant that she needed to pee. But she didn’t feel big enough to talk, Her throat hurt really bad, and everything was painful, even swallowing. She didn’t know if she could cope with the pain long enough to tell Mommy what she needed, it seemed like way too much and she was way too little.

She tugged on Mommy’s arm and pointed to the potty, hoping that she would understand.

Mommy helped her over to the toilet and sat her down on the seat; it was cold against her bottom, and she missed the warm, soft comfort of her diapers. She couldn’t bring herself to let go of Mommy, not even to go potty. She held Mommy’s hand the whole time, and Mommy cleaned her when she was done.

Jemma knew she should have been humiliated, especially after May had helped her with something so intimate, but she just felt safe. She still couldn’t let go of her, mostly out of fear, but also, her fingers were stuck like that, like claws, clutching at Mommy’s shirt with a vice-like grip. It had been horrible and scary to let go so Mommy could take her shirt and underthings off, and she didn’t think she could do it again.

Mommy sighed and kissed her forehead. “Looks like I’m getting wet today, too.” And then, she climbed into the tub with Jemma, even though she still had her clothes on. She was gentle when she washed Jemma, tender and soft.

Do you need anything?” Daddy poked his head around the door.

“I need a clean diaper for the baby, her new jammies, pacifier, and a bottle of milk, and some grapes” Mommy rattled things off, and Jemma was glad, because she definitely didn’t feel big enough to talk.”

Daddy nodded, and then Skye squeezed around him and darted over to the bathtub. She pressed her tiny lips against Jemma’s temple with a quiet smacking noise, and then gave Mommy a hug.

“I just wanted to say goodnight. Feel better soon, Jemma,” Skye said, and then scampered over to Daddy, who scooped her up and left.

Mommy wrapped Jemma in a fluffy towel when they got out, which was good, because she was very cold, and led her into the bedroom. She laid Jemma down on the bed and diapered her gentle, but efficient.

“Okay,, baby girl, I’m going to need you to let go so I can help you with your jammies. If it’s too scary to let go with both hands at the same time, we can do one at a time. I’m right here. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise.”

Jemma nodded and focused on letting go of Mommy. It was hard, and her muscles were stiff and her joints hurt from clenching for so long. She was thrilled to find out that her new pajamas were a one-piece footed sleeper that zipped up from her left ankle to her neck—she had thought she was too big for such a thing, and she was so, so glad that Mommy had found these for her.

She curled up in Mommy’s lap on the bed, and Mommy massaged her hands and fingers. It felt wonderful, and she was _so_ little, but that was okay, because she knew Mommy would protect her.

Daddy came back with her bottle and a small bowl of grapes, and he held her while Mommy changed into dry clothes. He smelled like toothpaste and soap and hugs, and she snuggled against him while he fed her.

Her throat was sore, and even though it was soft, a grape got stuck there, and she had to cough it up; she started crying again, both from the pain, and because she was scared.

Daddy rocked her, holding her close and whispering softly to her. “Oh, baby girl,” he said quietly.

“It hurts, Daddy,” was what she wanted to say, but somehow, those three words were too much, and she ended up just pointing to her throat and saying. “Ow,” in a quiet, pitiful voice.

“Does your throat hurt baby?” Daddy asked and she nodded. “Does it hurt to swallow?”

Jemma nodded again.

“That’s okay. I’ll get you some medicine to help, but we’ll stick to food that you don’t have to chew until it gets better.”

Jemma curled up to him, small and safe in his arms. It had been _so_ hard to eat by herself lately, she just hadn’t had much of an appetite, and she always forgot to ask Mommy or Daddy to feed her, because she wasn’t big enough to handle it on her own, so she only ate a little bit at a time. She’d passed out two days ago from exhaustion, and probably, also because she hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before when May fed her. But, she hadn’t said anything, because she was afraid Mommy and Daddy would be cross with her.

Mommy came back then and sat next to Daddy on the bed.

Jemma had just enough energy to crawl back into Mommy’s arms.

Mommy smoothed some hair out of her face and kissed her temple, lips lingering for a moment. She repositioned Jemma so she could give her her bottle.

The cool milk was soothing in her mouth and on her throat, and as she swallowed, her stomach began to feel satisfied for the first time in days.

“I love you, baby girl.” Mommy said. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe now.”

And there, in Mommy’s arms, sucking her bottle with Daddy right there next to her, Jemma knew it was the truth.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for this chapter. Nothing graphic, just a brief description of people doing unsafe things with food. I just wanted to make sure it was out there; I'd feel terrible if I upset anyone.

[JEMMA]

Skye was curled up against her when she woke up in the morning, little knees digging into her ribs, and a tiny hand clutched at the fabric of her sleeper.

She was surprised; Skye usually only clung to Mommy or Daddy like that, not that she was complaining.

Jemma shifted, and immediately regretted her decision to move. Her diaper was wet, but that wasn’t what was bothering her. Her head throbbed, a sharp, stabbing pain behind her eyes. A whimper escaped her; she sucked her dummy to try to hold in any more noise, and it worked for the most part, but she was already crying.

The pain receded, but the nausea and dizziness, and the weakness that lingered in its wake was almost worse than the pain had been. She was freezing cold too, which didn’t make any sense because she was normally too hot when she first woke up, especially when she was cuddled with Mommy and Skye

A cool hand touched her face.

“Jemma? Are you okay?” Skye’s voice was soft, and full of concern.

Jemma opened her eyes, squinting against the harsh morning light. It hurt her eyes, and her head throbbed again. Her stomach rolled and she felt her gorge rising.

Skye touched her forehead and gasped. “You’re burning up!” she said, and immediately rolled over to wake up Mommy.

Jemma wanted to tell her not to, because she didn’t want to be a burden. But her stomach rolled again, slow and awful, and her nausea became exponentially worse. She rolled off the bed, and tried to stand, but her legs wouldn’t hold her weight, and she collapsed onto the floor; if Mommy and Daddy weren’t already awake, they definitely were after all that noise.

But she didn’t have time to worry about that. She scrambled across the floor on her hands and knees, every inch a marathon, until finally, she was able to prop herself against the cool porcelain of the toilet, just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach into the bowl. It hurt terribly, the stomach acid aggravating her already raw, bruised throat, and her stomach felt like it’d been kicked by a mule.

She spent several minutes braced against the toilet; her stomach was empty, but she kept on dry-heaving for anyway. Her vision went splotchy, and for a terrible, moment, she was afraid she’d pass out, but she held on to consciousness—barely.

It was only after she’d finished that she realized that her stomach wasn’t all she’d emptied, and she was mortified and ashamed and disgusted with herself. She curled up in a ball on the cool tiles, and that was about the only silver lining she could find in the entire situation—the cool floor against her cheek felt wonderful.

She felt awful, and filthy, and gross beyond words, but she was too weak to move.

“Shh.” There was another cool hand on her face, gentle fingers in her hair. “Mommy’s here sweetheart. It’ll be okay.” Mommy touched her forehead. “You definitely have a fever, baby.”

“Mommy, I…” Jemma couldn’t say it. It was too embarrassing.

Mommy kissed her forehead, and Jemma felt bad, because she didn’t want to get Mommy sick too. “I know, honey. It’s not your fault. I’ll run you a cool bath, and we’ll get you cleaned up.”

“I’m sorry.” Jemma said through her tears. “I don’t mean to be such a burden. I don’t want to be so much work…”

Mommy wiped her tears away with her thumbs, a soft and gentle caress. “You’re not a burden, little one, I promise. I love you, and I’m happy to take care of you. Now come on, lets get you out of those things and into the bath.”

It felt amazing to have the filth off of her skin—Mommy had cleaned her very thoroughly with wipes before helping her into the tub. The water was very cold, and Jemma lolled against the tub while Mommy rubbed at her skin gently with a cool washcloth. Even though she was even colder now, she had to admit that it was nice not to be all sweaty.

Daddy came back when she was done, and he wrapped her in a warm, fluffy towel and carried her back into the bedroom, which was good, because she didn’t think she could walk. He was very gentle when he changed her into a fresh diaper—and Jemma was glad that she hadn’t needed to make that decision on her own—and comfortable sweats. And then she thought of something, her recent experience in the bathroom still too fresh in her mind.

“Daddy, what if I need to…” she couldn’t finish.

“If you need to go to the bathroom, just tell us and we’ll take you. This is for just in case.”

Jemma nodded. At least now, she wouldn’t have to worry about getting up to pee, and if she was being honest, diapers made her feel safer than pull-ups did. It was hard to admit that, even to herself, but it felt true, and she knew she didn’t have to be ashamed.

Jemma felt someone staring at her and then she realized that Skye was there too, and she looked beyond worried and upset peeking at her from the side of the bed; she kept trying to give Jemma a hug, until Mommy picked her up.

“I know you want to give Jemma hugs, baby, but you can’t right now. She’s very sick, and if you hug her, then you might get sick too.” Mommy explained gently.

“But she’s hurting, and sad.” Skye pointed out. “If I can’t give her hugs, what do I do? I don’t want her to be sad.”

Mommy kissed Skye’s forehead. “Why don’t you go to the kitchen and see if Bobbi will help you get some saltine crackers and applesauce. Jemma needs to eat to feel better, but if we give her regular food, she’ll just get sick again.”

Skye nodded solemnly. “Okay, Mommy. You can count on me!”

Mommy gently put Skye down. “I know I can, baby. Now go on, we’re going to need them soon.”

Skye nodded once, blew Jemma a kiss, and sprinted from the room. There was a brief, rapid series of footsteps, and then a loud thud.

“I’m okay!” Skye called out, and then the footsteps resumed.

Jemma guessed that Skye had fallen over, and she wanted to chuckle a little, because really, it was kind of funny, and Skye hadn’t been hurt, but she didn’t have the energy.

“Be careful, Skye.” Mommy called after her.

Jemma curled up on the bed with Daddy, drained and limp. “Can we watch something on the TV?” she asked. Mommy didn’t normally let them watch TV in bed, but this was different, and Jemma thought that maybe it would be okay.

Daddy nodded rubbed her back. “What would you like to watch?”

Jemma sighed. She didn’t feel up to making decisions, and her head was throbbing again. “I don’t know.” She said, tears pricking at her eyes. “Nothing scary. And nothing big.”

“How about a movie?” He suggested.

Jemma nodded. That sounded nice. “Can I have my dummy?” She thought maybe hers had fallen on the floor when she rolled out of bed, but she couldn’t remember for sure.

Mommy reached into the diaper bag and took out a clean one and slid it into Jemma’s mouth. “Here you go, little one. I’ll be right back, I’m just going into the bathroom to get the thermometer.”

Jemma squirmed. Her head had stopped hurting so much now that she had her dummy, and she didn’t want to take it out, even so Mommy could take her temperature. She needed her dummy, and she thought that sometimes, people didn’t really understand that. Except for maybe Skye, who seemed to prefer it over her thumb.

Daddy got up and took a few movies off the shelf under the TV before presenting them to Jemma.

“We have Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Mulan, and A Goofy Movie.” He said.

Jemma kind of wanted to watch _Mulan_ , but she knew that Mommy and Daddy were probably sick of it by now; Skye had been watching it almost constantly.

“The Little Mermaid,” she said. Ursula was a little scary at the end, but Daddy and Mommy would be with her, and she could always close her eyes if it got to be too much.

Daddy put the movie in and laid down on the bed next to her.

Jemma put her head on his chest and tried to relax.

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

The walk—it was more of a run, really—to the kitchen was a lot longer than Skye remembered it being, and she was out of breath by the time she got there.

Bobbi was there doing something on the counter that she couldn’t see, and Lance was on the couch watching TV.

Skye went over and hugged Bobbi’s leg to get her attention, and Bobbi lifted her onto her hip.

“Good morning, munchkin.” She said, and kissed Skye’s cheek. “How’s my baby sister this morning?”

Skye smiled. Bobbi was always so nice to her. “I’m good.”

“Good. Do you need a change? Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

Skye shifted. Her diaper was wet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable; she could wait. “I’m okay for now. But, Jemma’s really sick. Mommy told me to get saltines and applesauce from the kitchen for her to eat.” She explained.

“We can do that.” Bobbi set Skye down on the counter, keeping both hands on her waist to prevent her from falling over. “Can you find me the Pepto-Bismol? Your Mommy keeps it in here with some other medicine that people use a lot. It’s in alphabetical order.”

Skye tensed. She’d been a little shaky on her ABC’s since Jemma had tested her.

“Should we sing our ABC’s so you can find it? It starts with the letter ‘P’.”

Skye nodded.

They began singing quietly, and Bobbi swayed gently with the music. It was nice.

“Found it!” Skye said triumphantly. “But there’s two…”

“Take them both, please.” Bobbi said. “One is a liquid, the other one has pills inside, and I don’t know if Jemma feels well enough take pills.”

“Okay,” Skye said pulling the bottles out.

“What’s it do?” Skye wondered. It definitely didn’t look like ginger ale.

“It’s for Jemma’s tummy. It’ll help her not to feel so sick.”

Skye nodded. “Oh.”

Once they’d gathered the items, Bobbi took Skye back to the bedroom.

“Thanks.” Mommy said. “Phil and I are going to be tied up with Jemma today, can you keep an eye on Skye?” she asked.

Bobbi nodded and tickled Skye’s tummy. “Sure thing.”

“She just woke up, so she probably needs a change, and she hasn’t had breakfast yet either. Naptime is right after lunch and bedtime is at eight-thirty.” Mommy said. “If you need anything, just let me know.

Bobbi nodded and bounced Skye on her hip.

Skye wondered how Mommy knew all that, but she couldn’t be disappointed when Bobbi was playing with her.

“I’m sure I can handle it.” Bobbi said. “Feel better, Jemma.”

Jemma murmured something that sounded like ‘thanks’ but Skye couldn’t hear well enough to be certain.

Bobbi patted her bottom; her diaper squished against her, and she thought that maybe she _did_ need a change. “Come on bug, let’s go get you changed and then we’ll have breakfast.”

Skye crossed her arms and huffed. “I am _not_ a _bug_!” She declared.

Bobbi looked like she was trying not to laugh, but her voice was serious. “I’m sorry I offended you, baby. It’s just a nickname.”

Skye blinked. “Oh. Well, then I guess it’s okay. Just don’t use it all the time…”

“I won’t,” Bobbi promised. “Let’s get moving, cutie. You’re going to get a rash if you stay in that diaper too much longer.”

Skye wound her arms around Bobbi’s neck as they left the room. She really liked being held, and even though it wasn’t the same as when Mommy or Daddy did it, it still felt safe. “Can I have cake for breakfast?”

Bobbi chuckled. “Even if we had cake, which we don’t, And your Mommy would kill me. However, there are some donuts left, so if you eat all your breakfast, I could probably be convinced to let you have one of those.”

Skye smiled. That sounded like a good compromise. Bobbi laid her down on her bed, and it was a little surreal, she hadn’t been in her own bunk since before the incident, but Mommy was always prepared, and there were changing supplies in her dresser.

“Let’s work on our counting.” Bobbi said. “I want you to try and count from one, all the way to thirty, and hopefully by then, I’ll be done changing you and we can go eat; I’m hungry too.

Skye dutifully began counting out loud, and it was a little tough, because she kept having to rearrange the numbers in her head, and the wipes and powder were distracting, but she didn’t make any mistakes.

“You did so good!” Bobbi cheered, lifting Skye up and giving her a big hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

Skye smiled and ducked her head, embarrassed at the praise. “Thanks,” she said quietly. “Can I have my paci?”

Bobbi had to look for it for a moment, but she slid it between Skye’s teeth when she found it. “Oh, you’re too cute, baby. Do you want to wear pants?”

Skye thought about it, and nodded; when Mommy dressed her, she didn’t usually ask. But if she put Skye in pants, and then she leaked, she wouldn’t get to wear pants for the rest of the day. She thought that was fair enough; even though she couldn’t tell when she had to go anymore, it just kind of happened. She could still feel that her diaper was wet, and could tell a grown-up when she needed a diaper change.

She almost never did though; she’d gotten used to wet diapers a long time ago, before the incident, and getting a change meant that she’d have to stop playing. She could tolerate icky diapers too, but she didn’t like to stay in them any longer than she had to.

Bobbi pulled on her pants for her, and tied her hair back in a ponytail. “There we go, all done. Do you want to walk to the kitchen, or should I carry you?”

Skye just lifted her arms in response. She wasn’t sure when she’d started doing that, but all the grown-ups understood what it meant, so she didn’t worry about it too much.

“What do you want for breakfast, munchkin?” Bobbi asked.

“Donuts,” Skye replied, and Bobbi tweaked her nose; she giggled.

“I _know_ that, you silly goose. I meant _real_ food.”

Skye shrugged. “I’m not that picky,” she said. She was sure Mommy would dispute that, but it felt true to her. “Just no broccoli.”

“No broccoli, I promise.” Bobbi said.

 

*.*.*.*.

[JEMMA]

Jemma turned her head away from the pills. She’d just finished a few crackers and a very small bowl of applesauce, and her tummy felt a little better with something in it. But, she was still nauseous, and afraid that she was going to be sick again, and she didn’t want to eat anymore to avoid a repeat of that morning’s experience, even though she was still a little hungry.

She didn’t want pills, even if they were supposed to make her feel better—she was way too little to take pills. “I don’t want it,” Jemma insisted.

Mommy sighed and stroked her cheek. “Do you want to try the liquid kind? This medicine is going to help you feel better, sweetheart.”

Jemma was crying again. She felt too little to talk, and she was scared of taking pills because her throat hurt still, and she really just wanted her bottle and a hug, but Mommy was making her be a big girl and take medicine and she didn’t feel very big at all.

“No medicine. Please, no medicine, Mommy. It’s not safe; no medicine.” Jemma begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. She’d been crying almost constantly since that morning, but she didn’t know how else to cope. And then she froze, realizing what she’d said.

Oh no….

“What do you mean, ‘it’s not safe’? Jemma, what’s wrong, sweetheart? Did something happen?”

Jemma was trembling. She had been strong, she’d coped, and now her carefully built walls were crumbling around her. She took a deep breath. She had to be big to explain this, and it was the last thing she wanted to do.

“When I was undercover…HYDRA provided us with lunch every day. At first, I thought it was something to keep the employees happy, keep them from asking too many questions. But then I realized: I felt… _different_ after I ate. Nervous. Paranoid. Vulnerable. And it just kept getting worse.

And then, on the day Bobbi rescued me, I figured it out: HYDRA drugged me. I did some research when I got back, and the drug they used makes the brain more… _receptive_ to their brainwashing.”

“Did they…” Daddy sounded horrified, but he was trying to mask it.

Jemma shook her head. “But that’s why I haven’t been eating.” She confessed. “I’m so afraid, and I know it’s foolish of me, because you would never hurt me, but I can’t help it…I’m sorry.”

Mommy pulled her close, and she buried her head in Mommy’s chest. She felt gentle fingers in her hair, stroking her back, and it brought her comfort, but she still felt lost and broken and afraid. Mommy stiffened, her fingers tight, like she wanted to ball them into fists, but she didn’t.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” Daddy said. “You didn’t know what was going on. It’s not your fault.”

Jemma clung more tightly to Mommy. She could feel her big self slipping away, and she was tired from talking about what had happened to her. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She said.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to.” Mommy told her. “That won’t ever happen to you again, Jemma. I won’t let it.”

Jemma believed her, trusted her implicitly, but it was still hard to be okay with taking the medicine.

Mommy held up the bottle. “See, Jemma, the seal isn’t broken. That means there’s nothing in here except the medicine. It’s okay.”

Jemma whimpered. She knew that, but she was still scared.

“Listen to me baby,” Mommy was saying. “I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. But, _I promise_ you that this medicine is good for you. It will help. I just need you to be brave. It’s just a little sip, and it might taste funny, but it will help your tummy feel better.”

Jemma squirmed. She wanted to believe that, she really did, and she knew she could trust Mommy…She nodded. She swallowed the small cup of medicine that came with the bottle as fast as she could, and leaned against Mommy.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “I’m so proud of you, baby girl.” Mommy said.

“Can I have my bottle?” Jemma asked.

“Of course,” Mommy said, and Jemma settled into her arms—she knew how to arrange herself by now. She sucked on her bottle, drifting.

“What’s wrong?” Daddy asked, his voice far away.

Mommy sighed. “She reminds me of...”

"I know." Daddy said. "Me too."

Jemma wondered what they were talking about, but she was _so_ tired, and before she could really dwell on it, she was asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

[JEMMA]

Jemma accepted another spoonful of yogurt.

Her throat was still really sore, but whatever had been bothering her stomach the previous day had gone away. She was still wary of eating anything rich, but she could keep regular food down again, and she was very grateful for that.

Skye had attempted to start another food fight that morning; Jemma didn’t think she would ever understand why Skye seemed to think that was a good idea. Of course, Hunter hadn’t helped, instigating, egging Skye on like he always did.

Now he was feeding Skye her oatmeal—it was the good kind, with fruit and sugar—and neither of them looked too happy about it, but she could have sworn May was smirking, just a little. She had to admit, it was a pretty smart solution, since it kept them both occupied.

Jemma glanced over at Leo. He was leaning against the counter, polishing off a protein bar and drinking a glass of orange juice.

“Mommy,” she said quietly after swallowing the bite she’d been fed—the yogurt was cool and soothing on her sore throat. “Shouldn’t Leo eat more for breakfast?” She was worried about him, but she didn’t want him to be mad at her for saying something to May; it felt a little like tattling.

“He will.” Mommy assured her. “He usually trains with Phil right after breakfast, and if he eats too much, he’ll get sick.”

Jemma nodded, and opened her mouth for another bite. She felt much safer eating when Mommy or Daddy, or even Bobbi fed her, because she knew that they wouldn’t give her anything bad. She wanted bottles instead of food most of the time, because milk made her feel full, almost the same as food, but she knew Mommy and Daddy put some kind of nutrient powder in her bottles—they’d let her see so she wouldn’t be scared of it.

She wanted bottles a lot, because they were soothing and safe, but Mommy and Daddy always told her that she needed to eat real food too. It was hard sometimes, but she felt much safer when they fed her.

They’d even gotten a star chart for her and Skye. Mostly it was for asking to be changed or to be take to the bathroom, but Jemma also got stars when she told them she cleaned her plate at mealtime, or when she asked for a snack.

Mommy and Daddy had been good about keeping the amount of stars they awarded even, so Jemma and Skye were both one star away from getting a prize.

Jemma reached out to hug Leo as he passed. “Be careful training,” she said quietly.

“I will,” he said. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”

Jemma felt herself flushing, but she maintained eye contact with him. “I’ll be good.” She said. And then Leo was gone.

She finished her breakfast shortly after that, and went into the sitting room to play with Skye. Skye was exuberant and happy and warm, and that made her feel good. They’d just finished building an enormous tower out of LEGOs, when Leo burst into the room.

He didn’t look scared—that was the wrong word; alarmed maybe. “Jemma,” he said seriously. “Doctor Banner called. You need to come to the lab right away. Get May and Phil, too.”

“Leo? What’s going on?”

“Now, please.” He said.

Jemma flinched, he hardly ever spoke to her in such a serious tone, and it was a little scary, especially when she was little.

“I’m sorry I scared you, bit.” He said quietly, more calmly than before, and she felt herself relax a little. “But this is very important, and we need to hurry, alright?”

Jemma nodded and picked up her dummy and Skye off the floor, and hurried to find Mommy and Daddy.

*.*.*.*.

“While we originally thought that the serum was derived from a version of the supersoldier serum,” Doctor Banner was saying, and Jemma adjusted her lab coat, hoping her sleeper wasn’t visible underneath. “Further analysis has proven us wrong. It’s made from something else entirely. The documents Agents Fitz and Simmons sent us, along with what we’ve been able to discover on our own, has led us to realize that the substance, while synthetically manufactured, has two active ingredients that aren’t from this planet. The documents mention GH.325 and GH.234.”

Daddy looked kind of pale, but he was still calm, and so was Mommy, and that helped Jemma to be calm too.

“Tahiti.” Daddy murmured.

“What?” Doctor Banner wondered.

“Tahiti. It’s the project that brought me back to life. It used alien biology to heal the damage done to my body. GH.325 was the drug they used. I’ve never heard of GH.234, but It wouldn’t surprise me if Garrett filled his pockets with vials when we went back to get more GH.325.” Daddy explained.

Doctor Banner nodded, and Jemma could tell there were a bunch of questions he wanted to ask, but he didn’t. “We’ll keep you posted on anything else we find. Just thought you should know.”

“Thank you, Doctor Banner.” Daddy said.

“Stark will be sending something over for Skye later on.”

Daddy nodded. “Do I even want to know what it does?”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe. It’s a memory aid.”

Daddy nodded again. “Alright. Thanks again.”

“Sure thing.” Doctor banner replied, and the line went dead.

Jemma felt tense and shaky, and suddenly, her lab coat was stifling, so she took it off and hung it over a nearby chair.

“What are we gonna do?” Skye was the one to break the silence from her place on Mommy’s hip. “There’s no antidote for alien biology…I could be stuck like this forever…” Skye sniffled, and tucked her head against Mommy’s neck.

Mommy bounced her gently, patting her back. “Shh. It’s okay; don’t worry.”

“No it’s not.” Skye insisted pitifully.

“We’ll figure something out, sweetheart.” Daddy said, and he sounded confident.

“Okay,” Skye said, easy and trusting. She sucked her thumb. “I’m wet.” She said finally.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “Thank you for telling me, baby. Let’s go get you dry.” The two of them left the room.

“I’m sorry.” Jemma said, once they’d gone. “I should have been the one to catch it. The alien biology. It’s my fault.” She was a bad girl. She should’ve done a better job, figured it out faster so they could help Skye. She felt the tears on her face before she’d even realized that she was crying.

“No it isn’t.” Daddy’s voice was kind, but surprisingly firm at the same time. “It’s not your fault. Even with all their resources, it still took Stark and Banner this long to figure that out; and it probably would have taken a lot longer if you and Fitz hadn’t helped out.” He pulled her into a hug, and she didn’t feel quite so awful.

“What do we do now?” She wondered.

Daddy rubbed her back, and she tucked her head under his chin; she felt much safer when he was holding all of her. “There isn’t much we can do. So, right now, we’re not going to worry about it. We’re going to make the best of the situation while we wait for Banner and Stark to come up with something we can use.”

Jemma pressed closer to him, trembling. “Daddy,,,” She mumbled; she wasn’t even really sure what she was asking for, she just needed him close.

“I’ve got you, baby.” He said quietly, and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve got you.”

Jemma’s stomach twisted, and she realized that she needed to pee, and she let it go into her diaper without really thinking about it. She was little. It didn’t matter.

“I’m wet,” She admitted quietly, even though it was embarrassing.

“Thank you for telling me, sweetheart. Let’s go get you cleaned up. And, I think this fills up your star chart; we’ll go to the toy store after you get dressed and you and Skye can pick something out.”

Having something to look forward to made Jemma feel better. She felt limp, and weak, like an overcooked noodle—she didn’t know if she could walk, but she was afraid to ask Daddy to carry her, she didn’t know if that would be too much, if he would decide that she was too needy, too much work, that he only wanted to look after Skye.

She clung to Daddy even tighter then, trembling and crying. “I’m sorry.” She said; she wasn’t sure exactly what she was apologizing for, but it felt like the right thing to say.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. Come on, we’ll go to Mommy’s room and get you changed and dressed, and you can have a bottle if you want.”

“Okay,” Jemma said. She could be good. She could listen. And anyway, bottles were always nice.

Daddy surprised her by lifting her into his arms then, and she was suddenly worried about hurting him, even though this was what she needed.

“You don’t need to carry me, Daddy. I’m too big.”

“You’ll never be too big for me to carry you, baby girl.”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Jemma admitted.

“I won’t. You’re light as a feather; don’t worry.”

Jemma rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her back to Mommy’s bedroom; Skye was sitting on the bed while Mommy picked out her clothes. She was just wearing a shirt and her diaper, but her hair was tied back with a big pink bow.

Daddy sat her on the bed and Skye came over and sat next to her, smiling, and wiggling in place.

“Mommy said we can go to the toy store today, since we filled up our star charts! I’m so excited.”

Skye’s happiness was infectious, and even though she felt bad for her tiny friend, Jemma found herself smiling too.

“Me too.” She said, she lay back on the bed so Daddy could change her diaper. “What are you going to get?”

Skye shrugged. “I dunno…Maybe a friend for Ada, or some more blocks to play with. What do you want?”

“I’m not sure.” Jemma flinched as the cold wipes touched her skin. I think I’d like a new tiger, like Jean-Baptiste, since HYDRA has him now.”

“That would be nice.” Skye said. “I bet Ben misses him.”

Jemma nodded. “Can I have my dummy?” She’d left hers in her lab coat, and she always got anxious when she didn’t have one close.

It was Skye, not Daddy, who crawled across he bed and took it out of the drawer, before giving it to Jemma. She crawled into Jemma’s lap.

“Thank you for all your help, Jemma. What happened to me is Ward’s fault, not yours. Don’t blame yourself.” She said quietly. She wound her arms around Jemma’s middle and squeezed.

Jemma squeezed back gently, feeling better and worse at the same time—Skye was so _little_ and fragile and vulnerable, and she couldn’t help but feel a little responsible.

“Stop it.” Skye growled.

Jemma pulled back, and Skye was glaring at her; it wasn’t really all that intimidating, but Jemma knew she wasn’t happy.

“Repeat after me: it’s not my fault.” Skye’s voice was firm, almost like May’s—a much, much younger version—and Jemma knew she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“It’s not my fault.”   She said it mechanically, and even then, she was surprised at how light she felt afterward.

“Better?” Skye asked.

Jemma nodded. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“I know.” Skye said, and hugged her again.”

May came over and laid Skye’s clothes on the bed: pink overalls, pink Chuck Taylors and socks.

“Will you help me?” Skye looked up at Jemma, and she could tell by the look on her face that she was little again.

Jemma nodded. “Of course.” Skye was kind of squirmy when Jemma helped her dress, which meant she probably had a wet diaper, but neither of them said anything about it.

May was picking out Jemma’s clothes too; her outfit was similar, but less juvenile. “Do you want to wear a diaper, or a pull-up little one?”

Jemma bit her lip. She didn’t know if she could be big enough to go to the toilet, but she’d try. “Pull-up.” She said.

“I’ll pack a diaper and some extras for you, just in case. If you have two accidents, then you’ll be back in diapers for a while.” May reminded her.

She nodded. The rule was safe, comforting, she knew it would be okay if she wasn’t a big girl; Mommy and Daddy understood that it was too hard to be big sometimes. But she would still do her best to stay dry anyway; she didn’t want to be too much work.

Mommy helped her dress, and tied her hair back like Skye’s, but with a smaller, less obvious bow. She felt good, she could be little while they were out, but her outfit was grown-up enough that no one would stare. She hugged Mommy tight, curling up small, so Mommy could hold her.

“I love you, Mommy.” Jemma said quietly, tucking her head under Mommy’s chin.

“I love you too, sweetie.” Mommy said.

 

*.*.*.*.

[LEO]

 

The crowds made him edgy.

There were tons of people pressing in from all sides, and with May and Phil occupied with Jemma andn Skye, he had to be the one to keep an eye out for anyone who might be out to hurt them. He was grateful for his training; he’d been splitting his time between May and Phil, learning how to fight, how to read people, how to handle an array of weaponry, firearms and hand weapons.

He was strong. He was capable.

He was nervous.

But he could use that. May had taught him how.

_Feel the fear. Accept it, don’t try to fight it. It’s natural; it’s your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right. Make it work for you. Use it to sharpen your senses, make yourself more alert._

_Fear is a strength. Not a weakness._

_It’s alright to be afraid. As long as you use it._

He could feel the tension in his shoulders, the twitching in his fingers, the dull buzz at the base of his skull. He scanned the crowd.

A family eating ice-cream.

An old man resting on a bench.

A young man shopping for jewelry with a young woman.

Not a threat. Just pedestrians.

And then he caught it. Just a glimpse, enough to make him wonder if he’d actually _seen_ anything, or if he’d just been imagining things.

But his gut told him it was real.

 _Grant Ward_ was here. He reached out and nudged May, tapping her arm three times, their prearranged signal for serious trouble.

“Hey, Daddy,” May said, passing Skye to Phil. “Why don’t you take the baby and go get some ice cream; she’s been very well behaved.”

“What about me?” Jemma asked, and she looked like she was about to pout, but she didn’t.

“You too, sweetie.” May said, and Jemma obediently took Phil’s hand.

“What is it?” May turned to him when the girls were out of earshot.

Leo swallowed hard and locked eyes with May. “It’s Ward. He’s here.”


	18. Chapter 18

[SKYE]

Her face was all sticky.

She’d been feeding herself ice cream, with moderate successs, but some of it ended up on her shirt, and at the corners of her mouth where her tongue couldn’t reach. She knew that meant that Daddy would have to clean her up with baby wipes when they were done, and she tried not to be too upset about it, even though it was hard to sit still for that long. It took _forever._

Jemma was faring a little better, but her ice cream had started to melt, dripping down the cone an over her fingers. They were probably all sticky now too, and Skye felt better knowing that she wouldn’t have to suffer through her after-ice-cream clean-up alone.

Mommy and Leo had been gone for a long time, and Skye could tell that Daddy was anxious, even though he hid it well. She wondered what was going on, but she was just little, she didn’t need to worry about that.

Daddy reached into the diaper bag and took out the wipes; Skye sighed and squirmed away from him.

“Skye, it will be over faster if you hold still.” He said. “I know you don’t like it, but you’d look pretty silly walking around with ice cream on your face, don’t you think?”

Skye nodded grudgingly and allowed him to wipe her face clean. It needed to be done, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

Jemma was much more pliant when it was her turn; she’d been neater, and there was only a little bit of ice cream on her fingers.

Daddy lifted Skye onto his hip and took Jemma’s hand once both girls were clean; they hadn’t even left the food court before Mommy and Leo caught up with them.

Mommy looked worried, and Leo just looked mad—at what, Skye didn’t know. Mommy gave Daddy a _look_ , but Skye didn’t know what it meant—it was different from the ga-ga eyes that Leo and Jemma, Bobbi and Hunter, and sometimes Mommy and Daddy made at each other when they thought no one was looking. It was sort of like the one that meant she was in trouble, but she didn’t remember doing anything bad…

Mommy shook her head, so little that Skye would have missed it if she hadn’t been paying attention, and Daddy responded with the same kind of nod. Skye wished someone would say something, so she knew what was going on, but no one did.

“Did you guys go to the toy store yet?” Mommy asked.

Daddy shook his head. “We just finished our ice cream; you’re just in time. Where did you girls want to start? There’s a Build-A-Bear workshop, a toy store…”

“We need to stop at the store while we’re here. I need to pick up some more diapers and pull-ups for the little ones, and some groceries for at home. We’re out of milk and tea.” Mommy said.

“And cookies.” Skye added helpfully.

“And candy.” Jemma proposed.

Mommy smiled and shook her head before giving them both a kiss on the cheek. “We have lots of junk food at home, little ones.” She said.

“Please?” Skye drew out the word, and Jemma added her own request a moment later.

“We’ll see.” Mommy replied, even though they both knew that meant ‘yes’. “Do you want anything, Leo?” Mommy asked.

Leo shook his head, lips pressed together in a thin, grim line. Skye thought it made him look grumpy.

“’M fine.” He said.

“Maybe some things to make sandwiches?”

Leo’s jaw clenched, and Skye really wanted to give him a hug, because he looked so upset and sad, and afraid, but she was nervous that he wouldn’t want her affection right now. She snuggled closer to Daddy and put her paci in her mouth—sucking something always made her feel better when she was upset.

Mommy put her hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Why don’t you come with me, and you can pick something out for yourself.”

“Alright,” Leo said quietly.

Mommy reached down and took Leo’s teething ring out of diaper bag, and put it in her purse. “We’ll meet you later on.” She said.

Skye was a little upset that Mommy wouldn’t be with them, but she guessed Leo needed some time with her too, and it wouldn’t be fair on him to keep Mommy all to herself, even though she’d really miss her.

She was about to ask for a hug, but Mommy gave her and Jemma each one before she could form the words.

“I love you.” She said. “Behave yourselves, and I’ll make sure to get your candy and cookies. But, if Daddy tells me you two aren’t being good, then you’ll have to wait until next time we go grocery shopping to get your sweets.”

“I love you too.” Skye answered. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

Jemma nodded her agreement, bit her lip, and squirmed a little.

Daddy gave Jemma a knowing look. “Do you need to use the restroom before we go?”

Jemma stopped squirming and shook her head. “It’s okay. I can hold it.” She said.

“I know you can, sweetheart, but I think it would be a good idea to go now, that way you don’t have an accident if we’re not close to one later.” Daddy held out his hand.

Jemma scowled at him, and for a moment, Skye thought she might tell him no, that she was big, and could wait, and didn’t need to be told to go to the restroom, because sometimes she did that, even though she usually had an accident when she decided to wait…

“I’m a big girl. I can wait.” Jemma said.

Daddy sighed.

Mommy took Jemma by the shoulders. “You are a big girl, sweetie. But I think you should try anyway, even if you can wait; remember the rule?”

Jemma nodded. “Fine,” she didn’t sound happy about it, but she took Daddy’s hand.

“Good girl.” Mommy said, and kissed Jemma’s forehead.

“Do you need help?” Daddy asked, looking over at Mommy.

“No! I can do it myself!” Jemma snapped, and stomped her foot.

Skye’s eyes widened; Jemma was gonna end up in time-out if she wasn’t careful.

“Watch your attitude, young lady.” Daddy warned, but his voice was calm and even. “I was only asking. We’ll be right here when you come out.”

Jemma didn’t apologize or anything, she just stalked off toward the bathroom.

“Someone’s grumpy today,” Daddy said.

Skye nodded. “She needs a nap.”

Daddy chuckled, and she felt his body rumble. “I think you’re right.”

“Will you guys be alright without me?” Mommy asked.

“We’ll manage.” Daddy answered.

Mommy nodded and turned to Leo. “Come on, kiddo.”

Skye waved to Leo as he walked away; she felt better when he returned it, even if it was only a little wave.

And then they were alone.

Daddy looked at her. “Are you wet?” he asked.

Skye shrugged. She honestly didn’t know at the moment; it was hard to tell for sure unless she was really wet.

Daddy patted her butt, and even though she knew he was checking her diaper, she found it comforting, and safe, and she leaned against him.

“You’ll be alright for a while.” He said. He sat down on a nearby bench with Skye in his lap. “What do you want to do while we wait?”

“Sing ABCs.”

Daddy sighed. “Again? We’ve done that six times already today.”

Skye nudged him. “I gotta _practice_ , Daddy.”

Daddy smiled and kissed her forehead. “Alright,” He then began singing the ABCs backwards, which, while it was cool that he could do it, Skye didn’t know if she was ready for that yet.

“ _Daddy_.” She huffed, folding her arms. “You hafta sing ‘em _right_.”

Coulson poked her in the ribs, and she laughed without really meaning to. “Alright baby girl. Why don’t you start.”

*.*.*.*.

[LEO]

They hadn’t gone far from Coulson and the girls before she sat down on a nearby bench.

Unsure of what else to do with himself, he sat down next to her. May surprised him by putting an arm around him and pulling him closer to her.

“Talk to me Fitz,” She said quietly, leaning closer to him and rubbing his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t know.

Mostly he was upset that he’d failed his team. He’d been so _sure_ Ward was in the building, and then…Nothing.

They’d scoured the entire place, floor to ceiling, even the maintainance hallways and backrooms.

Ward wasn’t there.

He couldn’t believe he’d been so weak, paranoid.

Maybe…

Maybe he wasn’t ready to be a specialist.

“I’m sorry.” He said. His eyes burned and he swiped at them before they welled up. His hands were shaking, water rushing in his ears, panic hot in his throat, burning in his brain, overtaking him.

He was drowning.

He was choking.

He was—

“Look at me honey.” May was stroking his cheek, gentle and soft, and his eyes snapped to hers. May had never called him anything other than ‘Fitz’, ‘kid’, or ‘kiddo’ before. It was nice, that she had a special endearment for him too.

“I let you down.” Leo finished, though he had no idea how much time had passed since he’d last spoken.

“No.” May’s voice was firm, irrefutable. “You did your job.”

Leo was torn. He didn’t feel like he’d deserved comfort, and yet he needed it so desperately. Leo realized he was biting his knuckle, the skin bruised and irritated from the force. He fumbled, dug around in his pockets for some gum, dropped the pack on the floor. Finally, he liberated a piece from the silver foil and popped it into his mouth, chewing furiously.

It wasn’t the same as his teething ring—he couldn’t really _bite_ it, but it kept his mouth occupied, his anxiety at bay, his mind clear enough for what he needed to do. It was a poor substitute for the real thing, boxed wine to a glass of Leeuwin Estate Chardonnay.

But it was enough.

It had to be.

“You’re a specialist, Fitz. A good one. You’ve been trained to constantly be on alert, in situations that test your absolute limits. Sure, you might jump at a shadow now and again, but you’re paranoid for a reason. There is a threat somewhere in the environment, that you have subconsciously perceived. You just haven’t consciously processed it yet. It’s a pain, worse for us, because we can’t ever let it show that we’re worried about something, but nine times out of ten, that reflex is going to save your life, or the life of someone on your team. Maybe both.”

It was only then, that Leo realized that May had picked this bench for a reason: it had a direct line of sight on the food court, more specifically, on Coulson and Skye.

Leo nodded.

May was scanning the crowd, intent, purposeful, her expression so ruthlessly focused that he barely recognized her. She stiffened, and he immediately followed her gaze.

Ward was standing casually by the entrance to the food court restrooms—they were back a long hallway, separate from the food court itself. He was standing next to the fire alarm, and he pulled back the coat he was wearing to reveal a gun, which he slowly eased out of its holster.

It wasn’t hard to guess what his plan was.

Leo felt validated, relieved that his instincts hadn’t failed him, but also terrified and cold and sick with dread.

“Fitz,” May’s voice brought him back to the present. Her eyes were trained on Ward. “Take Coulson and Skye back to base. I’m going after Jemma.”

“What?” Fitz wondered, not at their plan, but Ward’s.”

“He’s not going to kill her. He could have done that at any time as soon as we stepped foot in the mall. I’m going after Jemma.” May said. “When you get back to base, you lock the doors, and you go dark until you hear from me. Understand?”

Leo nodded, wishing he had more time to process everything, knowing at the same time that it was a luxury he didn’t have.

May reached into her pocket as she stood up, pulling him into a one-armed embrace. She sought out his free hand with her own, and pressed the familiar rubber of his teething ring into his palm.

“We can do this, Leo. You can do this. I believe in you.” She whispered into his ear, squeezing him firmly.

She drew away from him, already moving toward Ward.

What she was doing was brave. But it was also reckless, and Leo knew what Ward was capable of, he’d witnessed it firsthand; he knew that May might not be coming back. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he had to acknowledge it. And, faced with that truth, he found he had to _say something_ , and he said the first thing that came to his mind without thinking about it.

“Mom,” he said, raising his voice to be heard over the din of the crowd, plowing on, despite his surprise at himself. “Be careful…I love you.”

May nodded, and if it was anyone else, he’d say her eyes had begun to well, but he knew he was imagining it.

“I love you too, son. Get home safe.”

And then, the moment was gone. May’s face had shifted, her predatory expression belonged to another person.

The gun went off, the fire alarm blared to life, sirens screeching, lights flashing, and the world dissolved into chaos.

[MELINDA]

This is how it feels to be Melinda May, right now.

You exist simultaneously in the present and the past.

You are drenched with water from the overhead sprinklers, and in the same instant, parched from the scorching heat of the desert.

You are dead, paralyzed with fear, and in the same breath, made alive by the primal surge of your fury.

Your entire body burns with the heat of it, immolation, death and rebirth. A phoenix rising from the ashes.

You lay Melinda Quiolian May to rest with a whisper: _I’m coming back for you_. And then the sheet is drawn over her face, and there is only the afterlife.

It is now and then, both timeline converging on a single point: That monster has your little girl. And he’s going to _beg_ you to kill him when you’re done with him.

Melinda May is dead. You won’t realize it until days afterward, but you’ve _changed_.

You have become The Cavalry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this goes without saying, but the next chapter isn't going to be a happy one. It's a flashback that focuses on May's ordeal in Bahrain, and answers the question "Did May and Phil have littles before Skye, Jemma, and Leo?" There will be various warnings added to the fic for that chapter ONLY.
> 
> 2x17 is out next week and while I am extremely excited to find out what the show says happened to May, I wanted to get this part written before that episode airs, because I have a feeling it would influence my plans for the story.
> 
> Just wanted to give everyone a heads-up. Thank you all for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence and child abuse.
> 
> I tried to stay away from graphic stuff, just because that doesn't dovetail well with the rest of the work. Hopefully it turned out okay...

**_October 3 1994_ **

**_Manama, Bahrain_ **

_It’s hot._

_We’re just outside the city, and the smog, coupled with the harsh light of the midday sun and the oppressive, ever-present humidity, makes for a brutal climate._

_The all black ensemble we’re required to wear isn’t helping at all, but I mask my discomfort; this isn’t about me._

_We’re here for another one of SHIELD’s Index Asset Evaluation and Intake procedures, but we don’t have a lot of information to go on, other than there’s a gifted person somewhere in the area. And, given the massive sprawl of the city, the densely populated outskirts, and the transient settlements further out, we could be here a while._

_I look over at Phil. He’s sweating, but he doesn’t show any other signs of discomfort. The giant aviators he’s wearing prevent me from seeing his eyes, which bothers me more than it should—but I can always read him better if I can see them._

_We’ve been partners for almost five years now, friends for even longer. Out of our entire team, he’s the one I trust the most—he’s always had my back._

_He nods. That means we’re more or less in the right area, if the coordinates we received from Alexander Pierce are to be believed._

_I scan the crowd, hoping in vain that something will jump out at me. There’s nothing that catches my attention immediately, but the niggling feeling at the back of my brain tells me I’m missing something important. If I’ve learned anything in my twelve years with SHIELD, especially after being trained as a specialist, it’s to always trust your gut._

_I scan again, slower, more meticulous, forcing myself to pay attention to absolutely everything._

_There’s a small stall, off by itself in a corner. There are two men there, both of them toting AK-47s, a little girl, no older than twelve, and an older woman, probably the kid’s mother. Her eyes are unfocused, dull, glassy. Maybe she’s been drugged, or…_

_But the kid, her eyes are bright, alert. And, she’s staring right at me._

_Slowly, I pull my jacket back to reveal the badge on my hip. It’s always seemed a little too obvious for my liking, but I’m glad I have it now._

_She gives a barely perceptible nod, and that tells me she’s in some sort of trouble. Slowly, she raises the woman’s hand, revealing a bloody wound across her palm. She touches it with her free hand and the wound heals itself before my eyes._

_Unfortunately, the rest of the square has seen the display, and the stall is inundated with people._

_But, just before the sea of people blocks the kid from my view, she looks me directly in the eye and mouths._

_“Help me.”_

_And in that instant, the rulebook goes out the window. Protocol states that we’re only supposed to evaluate, contact HQ so they can update the index, and wait for permission to make the offer to join SHIELD. The whole process takes around seventy-two hours, but by the look of things, the kid doesn’t have that kind of time._

_And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some stupid rule be the deciding factor in a situation where a child’s life is at stake._

_“I’ve got eyes on the asset,” I say to Phil. “Looks like we’ll have to get in line.”_

_“Wonderful,” Phil answers, in a tone that implies the exact opposite._

_I nudge him. “Oh come on, Phil, it’s just like waiting in line at the cafeteria at lunch, just…less fun.”_

_“Not helping,” Phil says, but he’s smiling._

_I smile back at him, and settle in for a long wait._

_I use the time to think over my options. A direct confrontation is too risky—I only see two of them, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more waiting in the wings; there are way too many people around for me to try and spot backup effectively._

_We also can’t pull a snatch and grab, because even if we could get them away from the men with guns, none of us have guns to defend ourselves with—this isn’t the first time it’s been an issue, but the higher-ups absolutely forbid them on ops like this; they want us to be as non-threatening as possible. Ususally, that wouldn’t be an issue. But now…_

_I suppress a sigh. We’re just going to have to proceed according to protocol, which I_ hate _but there aren’t any other options._

_I catch little glimpses of the girl as we move forward, she looks exhausted. It looks like she tries to refuse someone in line, maybe two people ahead of our group, and one of them men batters the older woman with the butt of his rifle._

_Phil reaches out before I can move, hand on my shoulder, comforting and restraining all at the same time. “Not yet.” Is all he says, and at least then I know he’s seen it too._

_The people in the market don’t even flinch, like this is completely routine, and I think, saddened, and more than a little angry about the situation, that it very well might be._

_“Phil, can I get some water?” I ask him. I’m thirsty, but I’m willing to bet the little girl is parched._

_Phil hands me a water bottle from his pack, and I peel off the SHIELD logo._

_We’re recognized here, tolerated, but we’re definitely not welcome. If the wrong people find out that we’re SHIELD, this could get messy._

_“Phil, give me your knife.” I say. I want to kick myself for not realizing it sooner: none of us are injured._

_Phil catches my eye and I know he understands what I’m about to do, because he’s reluctant to hand the small pocketknife over at all._

_I take a deep breath and draw the knife across my palm. It’s a small cut, but bad enough to require medical attention. I pass the knife back to Phil and force myself to look like I’m in a lot more pain than I actually am._

_Both men with guns are burly, with shaved heads, goatees, and broad shoulders. From the smell of things, neither of them has had a shower in awhile. Neither one speaks, but one of them points to a sign that says:_

Cures $20 US CURRENCY ONLY

_Phil hands me a twenty, saving me from having to take out my wallet and give away my profession as an agent of SHIELD._

_I hand the money to one of the men, and then sit on the ground, slowly, carefully settling into a cross-legged position._

_The kid follows suit, sitting under the table. There’s a wet stain on her pants, though she crosses her legs to hide it from me. Those bastards hadn’t even let her up to use the bathroom, they’d treated her like an animal._

_I clamp down on my anger. There will be time for that later. Right now, I need a clear head._

_I extend my hand revealing the gash._

_The girl takes my hand, and the flesh flows back together painlessly._

_“Hi,” I say quietly. “I’m Melinda. What’s your name?” I squeeze her hand gently, and hand her the bottle of water._

_The girl sucks down half the bottle before speaking. “I’m Grace.” She says. She sweeps some dark hair out of her eyes—it looks like it hasn’t been washed for a while, it’s matted and greasy. Her eyes are a beautiful dark brown, but the purplish circles underneath them only make me more worried about her._

_What are they_ doing _to her?_

_“It’s nice to meet you, Grace.” I tell her. “The people here with me are my friends. We’re here to help you. I think you’re in some kind of trouble, right?”_

_Grace nods, but doesn’t say anything._

_“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to. I’m sure it’s very scary; I probably wouldn’t want to talk about it either.”_

_“I’m scared. I just want to go home.” Grace’s face crumples, tears leaving tracks in the dirt on her face, and my heart twinges painfully in my chest, a slow, deep ache._

_I want to reach out and hug her, wipe the tears from her face, but I can tell by the way the men’s feet are shuffling that they’re becoming impatient. I probably only have a few seconds before one of them investigates._

_I look at Grace, making sure she’s making eye contact before I speak. I need to make sure she hears this._

_“Grace, I’m going to get you away from these men. Whatever it takes. I promise.”_

_Grace reaches over and squeezes my hand; she’s trembling, which only makes the urge to pick her up and bolt that much stronger. “Thank you.” She say sincerely, and scoots out from under the table._

_It’s only then that I realize she’s left something in my hand, a small slip of paper, with an address scribbled hastily on it. It’s legible, barely, and I tuck it away in my pocket for safe keeping._

_Apparently, I missed quite a bit while I was talking to Grace—the men with guns don’t look pleased._

_“The Healer leaves with no one.” One of the men barks, leveling his gun at Phil._

_“We just want to help.” Phil says, completely nonchalant, hands up in a gesture for peace. “We work for an organization—“_

_“We do not need help from your SHIELD.” The men make eye contact with one another, and I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, tense and uneasy. “Perhaps…you can help us.” He amends._

_I wonder how they know, because we’ve taken extensive measures to hide the fact that we’re with SHIELD; and then I realize that Agent Hart has unbuttoned his jacket, and the humid breeze has lifted it enough to reveal his badge._

_“I’m sure we can work someth-“ And that’s as far as Phil gets before he catches the butt of the man’s rifle in his stomach._

_I’d like nothing more than to just take these guys out, but there are still too many people around, too much collateral damage if they decide to open fire._

_Phil wheezes and coughs, doubling over, but it’s not him that they seize and drag away—it’s agents Hart and Washington. They’re new, and green, and very unlikely to hold up under torture, and from the look of things, the men know this too._

_Phil and I can only stand there as Hart and Washington are frog marched away._

_“We have to go after them, Phil.” I tell him._

_“We should wait for backup.” Phil says calmly. “I agree that we need to get them back, but we don’t know where they’re going, or how much resistance we can expect.”_

_“We don’t have time for that, Phil.” I answer, more worried for the kid than the agents, if I’m being honest—the thought of what they’re going to do to her, what they’ve already done, spurs me on._

_I made her a promise._

_One I have every intention of keeping._

_“I made her a promise, Phil. I’m getting her out of there.” I brace myself for his calm, sensible argument, because he always has one, and it would be a lot easier to ignore if he wasn’t so placid and nonchalant about it. That’s probably why he’s leading on this one._

_“I want to get her out too, but you know as well as I do that protocol dictates—“_

_“Screw protocol! She’s just a kid, Phil! You can wait for backup if you want, but I’m going in.”_

_“I want to come with you,” Phil says. “I always have your back, you know that, but someone has to stay to contact HQ for reinforcements.”_

_“I know. I can handle this.” I put more confidence into my claim than I actually feel, because even though he won’t say it, Phil is really worried. He’s got an incredible poker face, but I can read him better than anyone._

_Phil sighs. “Be careful, Melinda.”_

_I nod, and make myself smile to put him at ease. “Always am.”_

_*.*.*.*._

_Getting in isn’t the problem._

_The address leads me to a small, squat building outside the city, in the middle of nowhere. I make sure to activate the tracking beacon in my badge before anything else, and then make my way toward it._

_There aren’t any guards outside, but there’s a black SUV parked nearby. It's a clever disguise; armed guards will attract more attention, and now it just looks like someone’s home._

_There’s a man sitting in a folding chair by the door. He looks fairly harmless, until I see the gun strapped to his thigh; I’m definitely in the right place. I walk up to him, steeling myself. As much as I hate taking lives, I can’t afford the risk of him waking up and sounding the alarm._

_My hand snaps out, catching him in the throat with the blade of my hand. The blow delivers a lot more than the five pounds of pressure needed to crush a trachea, and he topples off of his chair without making a sound._

_I’m sorely tempted to take his gun with me, but I can’t afford letting the compound know I’m here._

_I make my way inside; the concrete hallways reek of urine and sweat. The agents aren’t hard to find, I just follow the screams._

_Hart and Washington are both in a small, dimly lit room, tied to chairs. Hart looks as though he’s barely holding onto consciousness, half of his face is a mottled, purplish mess, and Washington has a knife sticking out of his leg—that much at least, I expected to see._

_But the worst part: Grace is there._

_I can only see so much from my place in the entryway, hidden in the shadows, but it’s enough._

_One of the mercenaries jerks the knife free of Washington’s leg, and he howls again, blood spattering the floor._

_“Heal him.” The mercenary grunts._

_“You’re just going to keep hurting him. Why bother?” Grace wonders, and her voice is small, soft, afraid. Even from here, I can see that she’s shaking, eyes wide darting around the room, never resting for too long in one place._

_The mercenary draws his arm back and cuffs her with his fist. She goes down with a cry, pressing a hand to the side of her face as she curls up on the ground. Wetness pools on the ground around her, poor kid is wetting herself again, and they haven’t let her change out of the clothes she was wearing earlier._

_“Because I can’t afford for these men to die before they’ve told me what they know. Now fix him, or you’re next…and your little gift doesn’t work on yourself, does it?”_

_Grace doesn’t say anything, but she gingerly picks herself up off the floor, and her hand drops to her side—the skin on her face is already bruising._

_“You won’t kill me.” She says, clearly fighting tears, but she puts on a brave face anyway. Even though I don’t really know her, I can’t help but be proud of her for standing up to the man standing before her; she’s such a brave kid._

_The mercenary leans down and smiles savagely, revealing yellowing, rotten teeth, and Grace makes a face; I can’t say that I blame her._

_“You’re right. I won’t kill_ you _. But what about your mother?” The mercenary gestures, and the glassy-eyed woman from before is brought into the light. There aren’t any other entrances to this room, so I assume she’s been there the whole time, watching. She doesn’t appear to be capable of speech._

_Grace’s little hands ball into fists at her sides, she’s crying now, but she looks more angry than sad. “She’s not my mother!”_

_The mercenary sighs dramatically, then pulls out his gun and shoots the woman, point-blank. She collapses to the ground in a boneless heap while Grace looks on, eyes unfocused, body rigid._

_“Get her out of here. I’ll finish with these two.”_

_The man steps forward and seized Grace, dragging her from the room._

_I press myself against the wall until the door swings shut, and then I creep down the hall after them. I move in as soon as the man rounds the corner and kick him hard in the groin. He makes a choked noise and lets go of Grace; she whirls and sees me, but I put a finger to my lips._

_“Eyes shut, Grace, and cover your ears.” I tell her, unwilling to subject her to more trauma._

_She obeys without question, and for that I’m grateful. I reach out and give the mercenary’s head a sharp jerk—his neck snaps like a handful of dry spaghetti noodles, but with a more visceral, organic sound. I drag his body around the corner and return to Grace, pulling her into my arms._

_“You came!” she says, pressing her face into my jacket, murmuring it over and over and over._

_I rub her back gently, hoping to soothe her, but I can’t really tell if it works. “Of course I did, sweetheart. I made you a promise, didn’t I?” I’m channeling Phil now, it’s the kind of thing he would say in this situation, and it seems to put her a little more at ease._

_She sniffles, and as much as I would love to stay here and hold her, because she so desperately needs it, I’m a sitting duck here, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to her._

_“Look at me, honey,” I say, soft and gentle, and kind._

_She meets my eyes tentatively, hesitant, afraid, eyes swimming with unshed tears._

_“Do you have a safe place you can go?” I ask, and her fingers clench in my shirt._

_“Don’t leave me,” she pleads. “Please, please, don’t leave me.”_

_Her words twist in my heart like a knife. I can feel her ribs under my fingers, the thin fabric of her shirt doesn’t mask that, she’s too fragile, too light in my grasp, and I can’t bear the thought of leaving her, but I don’t have a choice._

_“I don’t want to go either, sweetheart. But, it’s not safe for you to stay with me yet. Is there somewhere safe I can take you for a little while?”_

_Grace nods. “My room.” She points to a door at the end of the hallway._

_I scoop her up and hurry down the hallway, praying that I don’t encounter any more resistance on the way. I don’t run into anyone else, but as soon as I open the door, I realize that I can’t leave her here._

_The room reeks of human waste. There’s a dirty, stained mattress and an equally ratty pillow in a corner, with a large, itchy-looking blanket thrown over top of it. There’s a small bag on the floor by the door, a child’s backpack that’s seen better days—it makes me wonder how long she’s been with these savages. It’s open, and there are clothes, and a worn blanket inside._

_“Is this yours?” I ask. I feel sick knowing that she stayed in this room, how anyone could treat another human being like this, let alone a child, is beyond imagining._

_Grace nods._

_I bend over to pick it up and sling it over my shoulder. “Okay, new plan. I’m going to take you back to the room my friends are in. I need you to stay there until I come back to get you, okay?”_

_“Okay.” Grace says but she doesn’t sound very happy about it._

_“I know it’s scary, sweetheart, but I promise you I’m coming back, okay?”_

_Grace nods, but doesn’t say anything else._

_“Eyes closed on the way back, honey.” I tell her, and she squeezes them shut and buries her head against my neck._

_“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.” I whisper to her, and hurry back to the interrogation room._

_*.*.*.*._

_When it’s all over, there are twenty-seven bodies strewn over the floor._

_And the strangest thing is, I don’t feel anything. I’m numb._

_While it was happening, when I was crossing them off, all I could see was red. There was fire in my veins and only one way out of this mess: through the hostiles. So I did what I had to do. There’s blood under my fingernails, and rage simmering beneath the surface, burning so hot and bright that I’m afraid it will consume me._

_Observe. Process. Compartmentalize._

_Remember your training, Melinda._

_~~I’m a monster.~~ _

_I did what I had to do. I fixed the problem. I got them out._

_The smell of blood is thick in the air, clogging it, and I want to be sick._

_I move mechanically back down the hallway, stepping over the bodies, forcing myself not them._

_Those who fight monsters…_

_Beware that...you do not become one._

_The words of the immortal Friedrich Nietzsche are burned into my brain, a memory from a distant dream, repeated endlessly by my Supervising Officers at the Academy. It’s almost funny, that I only realize the wisdom in it because I’ve already crossed the line._

_My stomach heaves, and I prop myself up against the wall as the contents of my stomach splatter across the floor. The sour taste of bile sticks in the back of my throat, but I force myself to keep moving._

_Distantly, I can hear helicopter blades—Coulson’s extraction team._

_I push the door to the interrogation room open, to discover Hart and Washington, along with Grace, waiting for me. One look at Grace’s face tells me she’s been crying._

_“See?’ Washington says gently, patting Grace’s shoulder. “I told you she’d come back. The Cavalry’s here, kid. We’re going home.”_

_I don’t feel like a hero at all._

_I don’t feel anything._

_But my lips remember how to twist themselves into a smirk. I start to reach for Grace, but I pull my hand back since it’s covered in blood and I don’t want to scare her._

_Grace comes over and hooks a finger into my belt loop. “You’re not going to leave me again, are you?”_

_“No,” I say, but my voice sounds like it belongs to someone else. “I’m not going anywhere.”_

*****.*.*.*****

**{Present Day}**

May moved with a singular purpose, time yawned as she ran. She was too far away from Jemma When she came out of the bathroom, looking confused and afraid—she was little, of course she had no idea what was going on.

Everything happened at once—painfully slow, May could observe every excruciating detail on Jemma’s face as Ward shot her. The only relief was that the gun he wasn’t an actual firearm. There was no blood, no deafening noise, no muzzle flash.

Ward was melting away into the crowd, and Jemma was collapsing against the wall, pulling some kind of dart out of her shoulder.

May was at Jemma’s side in an instant—it hadn’t really been a choice she’d needed to think about. Her little one was in trouble, and making sure she was okay was her first priority.

Jemma was curled up against the wall, knees drawn to her chest, her clothing hung loose and baggy from her limbs. She was looking at May, but didn’t seem to really see her.

“Mommy?” Jemma’s voice was quiet, unsure.

May reached out and stroked Jemma’s cheek. “I’m right here, baby. Are you okay?”

“I’m scared.” Jemma confessed. She reached for May, her sleeves swallowing her fingertips, clothing pooling on the ground around her. Tears dripped off her chin, and her body shook with sobs. “What’s happening to me?”

May sat down next to Jemma, desperate to do something, anything to help her, but powerless all the same. She pulled Jemma into her lap, pulling her close, rocking her gently. She had no idea what was going on with Jemma, what Ward had dosed her with, but she could still be Mommy, still make her little girl feel safe.

“I’m right here with you, Jemma. You’re safe. I’m not going anywhere, baby, I promise.” May said. She could feel Jemma’s body shifting in her arms, changing, and she realized that Jemma was shrinking. Her gut instinct was that she’d been dosed with something similar to what had transformed Skye, but she knew they’d need to get back to the lab at the base to be sure.

“Don’t leave me.” Jemma begged. “Please, please, please, don’t leave me.” her tiny fingers fisted in May’s shirt, knuckles white, body trembling.

May reached under Jemma’s too-big shirt to rub her back, just like she would do for Skye. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”


	20. Chapter 20

[JEMMA]

Jemma was terrified.

She was wet from the sprinklers, and the fire alarm blared in her ears. She’d made the mistake of opening her eyes, and everything was enormous. She felt so little— _was_ so little—and vulnerable, and she couldn’t cope with everything at once.

It was too much, and she was too little, even though she was trying so hard to be brave and not cry, tears were streaming down her face, hot and fast, mixing with the cold water from the sprinklers.

“Shh.”Mommy whispered in her ear, soft and gentle, rocking her. “It’s okay, baby girl. You’re safe.”

Jemma didn’t feel very safe, but she felt much better when Mommy was holding her. She didn’t want to move, but she was soaked and uncomfortable, and she wanted dry clothes. She was squirming before she realized it.

“Come on, little one, let’s get you some dry clothes.” May said. She stood up, picking Jemma up with her. Jemma’s pants and knickers had fallen off, much too big for her now, and May stooped over to pick them up before carrying her over to Phil, and Leo, and Skye.

May put her down so she could rummage through the diaper bag, probably looking for the change of clothes she kept there for Skye, in case she leaked or got food on herself.

“Jemma?” Skye wondered from her place on Phil’s lap. She wasn’t all that wet, since the sprinklers had only come on in the food court.

Jemma met Skye’s gaze and nodded once.

“Are you okay?” She continued.

“I think so,” Jemma replied quietly. She really wished she had her dummy. She wanted to suck her thumb, like Skye did sometimes, but her thumb would feel more weird in her mouth than comforting. Her sodden pull-up slipped off then, too waterlogged from the sprinklers, and too big for her tiny body. It landed on the floor with a wet plop around her ankles, and she was mortified.

“It’s okay,” Daddy said. “We’ll get you dry again sweetheart. Don’t worry.” His voice seemed strangely loud now that the alarm had stopped ringing.

Jemma didn’t feel like it was okay, not even a little, but Daddy’s voice was comforting, so she focused on that. She stepped out of the wet pull-up and picked it up, moving to throw it away in the nearby trash can. It seemed so far away and it was scary to be that far from Mommy and Daddy, but she was a big girl, and she could clean up after herself, even if the garbage can was taller than she was.

She made her way back to them carefully, bare feet slapping on the tiles. She was glad the food court was empty, she didn’t want anyone to see her like this.

Mommy was holding a change of clothes and a diaper, waiting for her with everyone else.

“Come on, baby, let’s go get you changed into dry clothes.” Mommy held out her hand.

Jemma clung to it immediately, it was her lifeline.

Leo knelt down in front of her, his expression calm, and kind. “I know you’re scared right now, bit. But we’ll figure this out, I promise. I have to go back to base with Skye and Phil, but I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”

Jemma let go of May’s hand to hug Leo, squeezing him as tight as she could manage, grateful for his comfort. “Okay. Be careful.” She said, and took Mommy’s hand again.

“I’ll see if Bobbi and Hunter can find anything on Ward when we get back to base. You guys should be alright now; if Ward had a move to make, he would have done it during the confusion.” Daddy was saying.

Mommy nodded and slung the diaper bag over her shoulder. “Alright. Does the baby need a change before you go?”

Daddy checked Skye’s diaper, right there in front of her, but Skye didn’t seem embarrassed about it at all. He shook his head. “We’re good. See you back at base.” He said. He kissed Jemma’s forehead and told her he loved her before departing with Skye and Leo.

Mommy walked with her to the bathroom and switched out her old shirt for Skye’s extra one before lifting her onto the changing table. It was a little embarrassing that she fit on it at all, especially since she had room to spare, but she supposed it was better—and cleaner—than laying on the floor.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any pull-ups for you, little one. We can get some at the store, after we’re done here.” Mommy said as she taped the diaper on; Jemma was a little embarrassed that it fit so well, because it meant that she wasn’t much bigger than Skye. “If you have to go potty, just let me know, and I’ll take you.”

Jemma swallowed hard. She was scared of crowds, she always had been; it was why she’d gotten overwhelmed in Debenham’s and why her Mum had told her she wasn’t allowed to come shopping anymore. What if it happened again? What if Mommy didn’t want her to come anymore because she was too much work?

She was crying again, trying to be quiet about it, but not really succeeding.

“Oh, baby,” Mommy said, and picked her up without bothering to put her pants on. She bounced a little, and swayed back and forth, and the motion was soothing. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared.” Jemma admitted. She felt so little, in just her shirt and diaper, with Mommy holding her. “What if I get overwhelmed. What if you don’t want me to come with you anymore? I don’t want to be a burden…” she confessed.

Mommy patted her bottom and kissed her forehead. “You’re never a burden, little one. I promise. If you get overwhelmed, we can go home, and I can come back later and get some new clothes for you if you want. But, Jemma, you’re always welcome to come with me, even if you get overwhelmed. You’re my little girl, and I’d never want you to feel like you’re not welcome to be with me. I love you too much for that.”

Jemma wound her arms around Mommy’s neck, pressing her face into Mommy’s shoulder. She was so glad that Mommy had said that. She felt much better now. She was still when Mommy put her pants on, but only held on tighter when Mommy tried to put her down.

“Will you hold me?” Jemma asked. She was embarrassed to ask, but she was more scared of trying to walk around with so many big people around at the store. She was tiny now, and it would be so easy for someone to accidentally knock her over, or step on her.

“Of course, little one.” Mommy said. “Are you ready to go now?”

“Can I have my dummy first?” Jemma responded. She didn’t think she’d be able to cope with going into the store without it, even if Mommy was holding her.

Mommy reached into the diaper bag and took it out, sliding it between Jemma’s teeth.

She sucked on it hard; she hadn’t realized how much she’d needed its comfort.

“I’m ready,” she said around her dummy.

*.*.*.*.

Her fingers hurt.

She’d been clinging to Mommy’s shirt as tightly as she could since they’d gotten into the store, what felt like ages ago, but she knew it was probably only a few minutes.

Jemma had forgotten just how _scary_ it was to be around so many people. It was a million times worse now that she was so little and vulnerable; a threat could come from anywhere, and she was helpless to defend herself. She could feel herself trembling, her tummy knotted with anxiety, and she tried to make herself stop, because she didn’t want Mommy to worry, but she couldn’t.

“You’re shaking, little one.” Mommy said gently. “It’s okay if you want to go home. I don’t mind.”

Jemma shook her head. She was afraid, but the thought of being away from Mommy was scarier. They passed the bathroom on their way over to the infants and toddlers section of the store, and Jemma’s bladder suddenly felt full, but she was afraid to ask Mommy to take her. She knew Mommy wouldn’t be cross with her for asking, she’d even get a sticker on her star chart, but she was afraid that if she went into the bathroom, away from all the people, she wouldn’t be able to come back out again.

“I’m okay,” She said, and wished she could believe it herself.

“Do you need to go potty?” Mommy asked. “The bathroom is right there, and it might be a while until we come back this way.”

Jemma shook her head, even as her bladder twinged painfully.

“Are you sure?” Mommy pressed, and that only made Jemma feel littler—having her bathroom habits policed was a recent development for her, even though it had happened to Skye a lot before she’d started using her diapers all the time.

“I’m fine.” She said. It was a little strange, that May was asking her if she needed to go—usually she knew when Jemma needed the bathroom, even though Jemma still didn’t know how that was possible, and just told her to go.

Mommy called her bluff. “Jemma, look at me sweetheart.”

Jemma met May’s eyes, and she knew immediately that May didn’t believe her. Mommy always knew when she had to pee—sometimes, even before she did.

“Tell the truth.” Mommy’s voice was kind and gentle, but it was obvious that Jemma’s attempt to pull the wool over her eyes had failed spectacularly.

“I do have to go,” Jemma admitted. “But I’m scared. If I go in there, away from all the people, I don’t think I’ll be able to come out again…” She was being ridiculous, she knew. She should just go to the bathroom, like a big girl, but it was _so_ scary to think about that, and she didn’t think she could cope with the anxiety from that on top of being around so many people. Her stomach ached with the stress, and part of her just wanted to wet her diaper and get it over with.

She was little, it was okay if she wet her diaper, Mommy would change her.

Jemma knew that, but it was still hard to accept, even though she knew Mommy would have to help her with the potty— _toilet_ —now too; she was too little to do it by herself.

She’d always thought that actually _being_ little would make it easier to accept her Little feelings, but now she was wrestling with them even more. Maybe Mommy and Daddy didn’t want another baby. Maybe they were happy with just Skye, and they’d send her home to live with her Mum—and that thought absolutely terrified her.

Mommy rubbed her back gently, and Jemma rested her head on her shoulder, focusing on the comforting gesture, rather than the throng of other customers that seemed to be pressing in on every side.

“You can use your diaper, if you want. That’s what it’s for.” Mommy said gentle, calm, not judging. She rocked Jemma gently.

Her bladder was achingly full now, and it was too much, she couldn’t hold it anymore. She pressed her face into Mommy’s shoulder as the warmth spread through her diaper, and it was strangely comforting instead of gross, a reminder that Mommy would take care of her. And at the same time, she was upset with herself for not using the toilet when it was _right there_.

Her eyes burned. She didn’t want to cry, but she wasn’t sure she could stop herself.

Mommy patted her bottom again. “You need a change little one,” she said.

The diaper squished against her skin, and Jemma was a little embarrassed, she hadn’t realized there’d be so much.

Mommy was pushing their still empty cart toward the bathroom, but instead of going into the women’s restroom, she went into a smaller room, marked ‘Baby Changing/Nursing Room’. There was a little sign hanging beneath the placard, Mommy flipped it around so it read ‘Do Not Disturb’. She slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and carried Jemma inside.

“I’m such a baby.” Jemma said, rubbing her eyes, trying to keep from bursting into tears. “I’m sorry I wet my diaper.”

Mommy kissed her forehead before she laid Jemma down on the changing table. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for that, little one. Especially not now. I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Skye when this happened to her: I don’t want you to worry about being big today. I know this must be overwhelming for you, and if you don’t feel big enough to use the potty, that’s perfectly okay. I’ll take care of you, baby, you don’t have to be afraid.”

Jemma was crying anyway, but Mommy was tender and gentle while she changed Jemma’s diaper, and that made her feel so much safer.

Mommy put Jemma’s pants back on her before throwing the old diaper away and washing her hands. She picked Jemma up and moved to sit in the rocking chair in the corner.

Jemma pressed herself as close to Mommy as she could, it was the safest place she could imagine being.

Mommy held her tight and rocked her gently in the chair, rhythmic and soothing.

“Do you want to nurse?” she asked after a moment?

Jemma thought it sounded nice, she’d seen May nurse Skye lots of times. She wanted to say ‘yes’ but that would feel a little like stealing something special from May and Skye. She squirmed uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to say ‘no’ but she wasn’t sure she could say ‘yes’ either.

“I…” She didn’t have any words; she’d almost stopped crying, but the tears had started up all over again. Her mouth was dry, and her throat ached from all the crying.

“You can say ‘no’ if you want. It won’t hurt my feelings. I just wanted you to know that you could if you wanted to.”

“I do…but that’s special for you and Skye. I don’t want to intrude; I feel like I’m taking something important and private away from you if I do.”

“Jemma, look at me, baby girl.” Mommy said, smoothing her hair out of her face.

Jemma looked up at May, tears wet on her cheeks. May rubbed them away with the pads of her thumbs.

“Nursing is special. It’s something that a Mommy and her baby do together that only they can do. I do it with Skye a lot, because she’s my baby. But, _you_ are my baby too, and if you want to nurse, it’s okay. Both of you are my babies, and both of you can nurse whenever you need to.”

Relief flooded her body, she’d been so afraid of upsetting Mommy. “I’ve never nursed before….” Jemma admitted.

“It’s okay. It’s just like having a bottle,” Mommy said, adjusting her clothes so Jemma could latch on.

It felt a little awkward at first; different from a bottle or her dummy, but more soothing, somehow. It was wonderful, like she was finally having a meal, and she hadn’t even realized she was starving, or like she’d been wandering in the desert and someone had given her water. All the stress, and anxiety, and fear she’d been feeling just melted away.

She felt more at peace, more calm than she could ever remember feeling.

Jemma felt silly for every worrying that May didn’t care as much for her as she did Skye. She was connected to her in the most intimate of ways now, and she knew that Mommy loved her just as much.

“I love you, Jemma. With all my heart. Don’t ever forget that.” Mommy said

“Love you too, Mommy. So much.” Jemma murmured as she pulled away from Mommy’s breast. She was suddenly very warm and sleepy, and her tongue felt thick and heavy in her mouth. She felt Mommy’s lips on her forehead, soft and gentle, and then she was asleep.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Referenced/Implied Emotional Abuse

[JEMMA]

Jemma was hot and sticky when she woke up.

She was aware of movement, smooth and steady, and the fact that there was a soft object under her head. She opened her eyes, slowly, blinking her vision back into focus. Her mouth was very dry, and sucking her dummy helped a little, but she was really thirsty.

She felt gentle fingers in her hair.

“Hey, little one,” Mommy’s voice was soft and gentle and soothing. “You awake?”

Jemma tried to say ‘yes’, but all that came out of her mouth was a scratchy mewling sound.

Mommy rubbed her back; her shirt was damp with her sweat, sticking to her skin, and it felt a little gross. “You can go back to sleep if you’re still tired.”

Jemma sat up and shook her head. She was still a little sleepy, but not tired enough to go back to bed. Her diaper squished under her, wet and a little cold, but she was embarrassed to ask for a change. She kind of wanted Mommy to hold her again, because that was definitely safe; Mommy wouldn’t let anyone get her, nothing bad would happen if she was in Mommy’s arms. She felt so little, and at the same time, she knew that if Mommy held her, she’d know that her diaper was wet, and she would probably wonder why Jemma hadn’t said anything…

Jemma sucked on her dummy anxiously—she wasn’t sure she was ready to have her diaper checked all the time like Skye, no matter where they were, but she also didn’t feel big enough to tell Mommy about it. Everything was so hard, and she kind of wanted to cry again, because that sometimes helped her feel better.

She knew she should be a big girl and tell Mommy that she was wet, but she wasn’t big at all, and she wished Mommy could just read her mind and know what she needed, so she didn’t have to say anything.

It didn’t help that they were currently in the diaper aisle—Jemma vaguely remembered Mommy saying something about needing more before…

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to think about it. It was way too scary here already with all the people around, she didn’t need to think scary thoughts and make things worse; she definitely wasn’t big enough to cope with that.

She sucked her dummy a little, and Mommy reached down and smoothed some hair out of her face.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Are you wet?” Mommy asked as she moved to put more diapers in the cart. There were already pull-ups there, different from the kind she wore when she’d been big, and a new bottle and a car-seat, and a bunch of new clothes. She’d been asleep for a while, she guessed.

Jemma wasn’t sure she wanted to answer, mostly because she was embarrassed; even though Mommy had said she didn’t need to worry about being big, she did anyway—it was like there was a war going on in her head, the Little and Big sides of her personality competing for dominance. Judging by the way she nodded without really thinking about it, the Little side was winning—it was a relief, because that meant less responsibility, but it was also terrifying, because she didn’t remember giving herself permission to be little, even if Mommy had said it was okay.

She squirmed. She felt so little and so overwhelmed, but it was _so_ hard to let go.

“ _Mommy…_ ” The word slipped out of her, a whine, but not the petulant kind. This was desperate, frantic, needy. She was crying, hard and ragged, sobbing with enough force to make herself nauseous.

She just needed Mommy to hold her, but she felt lost and little and horribly, horribly vulnerable, and all her words had disappeared. She didn’t know how to ask for what she so desperately needed.

Mommy lifted her up out of the cart, holding her tight, bouncing a little and whispering soothing words in her ear. “I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you. You’re safe. Shh.”

Jemma couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard she tried, and scolding herself only made it worse. She coughed, and coughed, and coughed, her lungs agitated from all the harsh crying, and then she gagged, fortunately, nothing came up. She clung to Mommy, fingers digging into her shirt, holding on for dear life.

Mommy sighed and reached under her shirt to rub her back. “Okay, baby. I think it’s time for a break. We don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, but we’re going to go back to the baby room and sit down for a minute, okay? I’m not upset, I promise, but we need to get you calm—it’s not healthy for you to be this worked up.”

Jemma buried her face in Mommy’s shoulder. She felt like such a failure; she couldn’t even decide whether to be little or big, and it was too much, she couldn’t take it, she was falling apart, breaking, splintering, shattering.

It was the worst kind of identity crisis, and she felt way too little to deal with it, at the same time as feeling big enough to ridicule herself for it being such an issue in the first place. She should just grow-up, put her little things away. She’d done it at Sci-Tech for a while, when she’d been too busy with work to think about being Little.

Maybe that was what she needed…

But, it was too scary to even think about being away from Mommy, especially now. And, even if she could somehow be brave enough for that, she knew from all the tests she’d done with Skye, that she was physically too little to do much for herself.

That wasn’t helping at all, even though it seemed like that fact should have made the decision for her. She was so jealous of how easily Skye could be little, how effortless it seemed for her to let go of the worries and responsibilities that came with being a big person, and just be her little self. It came so naturally to her.

A gentle rocking motion brought her out of her thoughts; they were back in the mother’s room, in the rocking chair.

Mommy was holding her close, and Jemma rested her head on Mommy’s chest. She rubbed Jemma’s back, slow and soothing.

“What’s got you so upset, little one, hmm?”

“I have to be big, Mommy. But I can’t. I’m trying so hard, but I can’t. I’m sorry. Please don’t send me back home.” Jemma’s words tumbled out in a rush, slamming into each other, almost incoherent.

“You don’t have to be big, baby girl. You’re only as big as you feel.”

Jemma didn’t feel very big at all, but she knew that wasn’t true. She shook her head, but her words had deserted her again. She pulled away from Mommy so she could look at her—even that was hard, and it made her feel even littler, that she needed to be so close to Mommy.

“Not true.” Jemma said bitterly, before she could stop herself. “I Have to be grown-up. I have to stop this foolishness, and be a big girl, or I’ll never succeed.”

Mommy’s grip tightened, and Jemma realized that she said too much—she hoped Mommy wasn’t cross with her.

“Who on earth told you that?” May wondered, and she sounded angry and sad.

Jemma shivered, tucking herself closer to Mommy. “My Mum.”

“You know that’s not true, right? She shouldn’t have said that to you. That was wrong.”

“But, she was right.” Jemma said, as fresh tears washed down her face. “If I was a big girl, maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.”

“Jemma…” May began, but Jemma interrupted, even though she knew it was rude.

“It all started when I was six, just after my Nan died. My Mum never agreed with her on anything, especially when it came to me. Nan thought I should be allowed to be a kid, and my Mum thought I should always behave like an adult. I’d been having trouble tying my shoes, and I kept going to her for help…

One day she finally got tired of me asking, and she locked me in my room, and told me to practice until I could do it with my eyes closed, because I wouldn’t get anywhere in life if I never learned to tie my shoes. She was always pushing me to do better—I could never be good enough, but my brothers got away with murder. That’s part of the reason I graduated and joined SHIELD so early…I wanted her to be proud of me.”

Jemma looked away. She away, tears hot on her cheeks; she felt pathetic and small, and inadequate, and she didn’t want May to think less of her—and in the same moment, she desperately needed her comfort, needed to be held. Her hands balled into fists with the tension of her indecision.

Mommy kissed her temple. “I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like for you, baby. My mommy was tough on me growing up, but she never did anything like that…” She sighed and pulled Jemma close. “First of all, little one, I want you to know that _I’m_ proud of you. I think you’re an amazing person and a brilliant scientist. And you are a wonderful little girl, even if you don’t feel like it sometimes.”

Jemma was shaking, the tension was unbearable. She felt like she was going to come apart, and on top of that, her bladder throbbed, painful and sudden, and she wondered how she had to pee so badly without any warning.

“Mommy…” Jemma began, her voice uncertain. “I don’t know what to do. I feel like I should be a big girl, but I’m little and I’m scared, and I need you, Mommy. I can’t do it by myself.”

And Mommy just rocked her and rocked her, and rocked her. “Just relax, and let me take care of you, little one. You’ve had an overwhelming day, and you’re dealing with a lot of difficult emotions right now. I think you need to be little for today. That way you can cry, or have a tantrum, or cuddle with me, or Daddy. Whatever you need, we’re here for you. I know that’s hard to accept right now, but it’s true. No matter what, Daddy and I will always be here to take care of you.”

Jemma sniffled; it was odd to be given permission to have a tantrum, but it made her feel a little better. She felt a rush of warmth in her diaper, and it was strangely soothing, a reminder that she was little.

“I’ll tell you what: when we get this situation with Ward dealt with, we’re going to go somewhere, as a family. Take some time off. You can be as little as you need to be, for as long as you need to be.”

“But, I thought that Director Fury said that Daddy was meant to take over SHIELD…” Jemma said.

“I don’t care what Director Fury wants. If Coulson can come back from the dead, then so can he. You and Skye, and Leo are my babies. You three are my life.” Mommy’s voice was full of emotion, and she looked like she was remembering something from a long time ago.

“What if he says ‘no’?” Jemma wondered. That was a scary thought, especially since the idea of going somewhere that she could be little for as long as she needed to was really nice.

“He won’t. I can be very… _persuasive_ when I need to be.” Mommy said.

Something like hope blossomed in Jemma’s chest. “Promise?”

Mommy nodded and kissed Jemma’s forehead. “I promise, baby. I promise. For now, we’ll take things one day at a time.”

Jemma nodded. She could handle that. One day at a time.

“And now, it’s time for a diaper change, little one. You’re leaking.”

Jemma was mortified, and she wanted to cry all over again, even though her eyes were still sore and itchy and red from all the crying she’d been doing already.

Mommy took a clean diaper, wipes, powder and rash cream from the diaper bag and laid Jemma on the changing table. “It’s okay, baby. It’s not your fault. Your diaper isn’t your responsibility; I should have changed you sooner.”

Jemma tried to relax as Mommy changed her, but the cold wipes made it hard. She held onto Mommy’s shirt the whole time, because she couldn’t bear to be away from Mommy right now.

Mommy picked her up again when she’d finished. “There we go. All fresh and clean. Now, I’m going to give you a bottle, and we’ll rest for a few more minutes, and then we can finish our shopping if you feel up to it.”

Mommy position Jemma in her arms in the rocking chair and eased the bottle’s teat into her mouth.

The cool juice was refreshing; Jemma sucked at the bottle greedily, she’d forgotten how thirsty she’d been.

“Don’t drink too fast, sweetheart. You’ll get a tummyache.” Mommy said gently, stroking her cheek.

Jemma slowed down, and reached up to hold Mommy’s hand. The scent of baby powder was sweet and soothing, and that, along with the bottle, and the dim lighting in the room, made her feel like maybe she could fall asleep again. The rocking chair only made her sleepier.

She wiggled a little closer to Mommy, and was glad when her arm tightened, holding Jemma safe and secure, hand patting her bottom.

Jemma closed her eyes and let herself relax. Whatever happened, she knew Mommy would watch over her.


	22. Chapter 22

[SKYE]

There was a package on the counter for Skye; she knew because Leo had let her ride on his shoulders on the way in from the car.

Leo sat her on the counter, which was kind of cool, because she’d never been allowed to sit up there before. He opened the small envelope, and took out a small, silver bracelet.

“I think this is for you, Skye. Do you need help putting it on?”

Skye nodded and held out her wrist. She watched, fascinated as the bracelet adjusted itself to fit her; it wasn’t too tight, but it was snug enough that it wouldn’t fall off while she was playing. It was warm, almost soothing, and light enough that she almost forgot she was wearing it.

“Calibrating…” A pleasant voice announced.

It took Skye a moment to realize that it was coming from the bracelet—she supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised, considering that _Tony Stark_ had made it for her; she still couldn’t quite wrap her head around the notion that she was important and special enough for him to make something for her.

“Hello, Agent Skye. I am the Intelligence Isolation and Integrity Interface.”

“Wow…” Skye breathed, grinning big. It was so _cool_ , even though it was weird talking to someone she couldn’t see.

Leo chuckled. “Four-eyes. That’s brilliant.”

“I’d bet money that Stark was making fun of Banner when he came up with that.” Daddy said as he came into the kitchen.

“That’s not very nice.” Skye commented.

Daddy kissed her forehead. “It isn’t, but that’s how Stark is. He likes to tease.”

Skye nodded, but she still didn’t think it was okay—Mommy and Daddy said that if you didn’t have anything nice to say, then you shouldn’t say anything at all. She wondered if anyone had ever told that to Stark…

“I am an artificial intelligence program designed to assist you with maintaining the integrity of your intellectual faculties…” The voice paused, as if waiting for a response from Skye. When she didn’t give one, it reiterated: “I’m supposed to help you remember.”

Skye nodded. “Oh. You don’t look like a fishy with elephants…”

“Artificial Intelligence, Skye.” Leo corrected, gently.”

“Whatever. I’m still calling it ‘Fishy’,” Skye argued.

“Speech pattern analysis complete.” The newly-christened Fishy announced. “Program selection adjusted.”

Skye blinked, wondering what Fishy was talking about.

“In addition, I also am equipped with a variety of games and learning activities for your entertainment. If you’ll depress the button on the thumb side of the bracelet, you’ll be able to explore my features for yourself.”

Skye did as she was instructed, and a bunch of images sprang to life—in a very similar fashion to FitzSimmons’ holotable, the one she wasn’t allowed to touch. She stuck out her tongue at Leo—now she had her own fancy gadgets.

She played with it for a bit, getting used to the interface, learning how it functioned. It seemed to adapt to her, which made it very easy to operate.

“That’s a very nice gift.” Daddy said. “You’ll have to call Stark and tell him ‘thank you.’”

“Master Stark is unavailable at the moment; if you like, you can record a message, and it will play back for him when he’s connected to the system again.” Fishy said.

“Okay,” Skye said, and no sooner had she finished speaking, then a faint red light began flashing, set somewhere under the bracelet’s surface. “Hi, Mister Stark! Thank you so much for my gift! It’s so _cool_ , I love it! I’ll take really good care of it, I promise. Thanks again!”

“Message sent.” Fishy announced.

“It’s just about naptime, baby girl.” Daddy told her, and Skye was disappointed; she wanted to play with Fishy some more.

“Parental Guidance mode activated. Sleep mode engaged.” Fishy said, and the holographic display winked out.

Skye tapped at the bracelet, trying to elicit some kind of response from it, but nothing happened. She pouted. “Aww,”

“Apologies, Agent Skye, my program parameters prevent me from overriding an instruction from agents Coulson or May. If you like, I’d be more than happy to assist you when naptime is over; I’ve stored your schedule for reference purposes.”

“God, that thing sounds like the bastard child of C-3PO and Patrick Stewart.” Lance groaned as came into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.

“Hunter!” Bobbi’s voice was indignant, and she cuffed Lance in the back of the head when he stood up. “Watch your mouth around the baby.”

Phil didn’t say anything, he just glared at Hunter and pointed at the plastic jar on the counter labeled ‘Swear Jar’. The whole thing had been May’s idea; every time someone cursed in front of Skye, or Jemma when she was little, had to put a dollar in the jar, and when it was full, they would use the money to treat the kids to something fun, like a movie, or a trip to the fair.

“Bloody hell,” Lance muttered, though it was hard to hear, since Daddy was covering Skye’s ears.

“You might as well just buy everyone dinner at this point, Hunter.” Bobbi said, smiling at Skye.

Skye giggled, grown-ups were funny sometimes. She felt herself wetting her diaper, the padding swelling and squishing underneath her; she didn’t think anything of it until she realized that she’d leaked a little, cool, damp patches spreading on her bottom.

“Uh-oh…” she said quietly, but Daddy heard her anyway.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asked.

Skye suddenly felt squirmy, and she didn’t know whether or not she was big enough to tell him what was bothering her. She stuck her thumb in her mouth. “Nothing, Daddy.” She said, but she could tell by the expression on his face that he didn’t believe her.

“Really? Because you’re leaking, baby girl. Maybe that’s the problem.” Daddy lifted her off the counter, and she felt her diaper shift on her hips, soggy and heavy with wetness, and she was embarrassed. “Let’s go get you clean,”

Skye hadn’t realized her diaper had leaked so much, and she felt a little bad about getting the counter wet too, because that was gross.

They ran into May and Jemma on their way back to May’s bedroom, which had become more of a nursery at this point really, and Skye felt awful for Jemma—she could tell by the look on Jemma’s face that she’d been having a rough time since they’d separated at the mall.

She patted Daddy’s shoulder. “Can you put me down? I want to give Jemma a hug.”

“Did you hear that, little one? Someone wants to say ‘hi’ to you baby.” May said, patting Jemma’s back. Instead of just putting her down, like Daddy had done with her, Mommy knelt down, still holding Jemma, even though her feet were on the floor, and very gently, very slowly turned her around to face Skye, hands resting on her shoulders.

Jemma’s lower lip was trembling, eyes welling up again; she was clearly on the verge of tears again, but she was doing a heroic job of holding them back. Her entire body was trembling, just enough to be visible, and her eyes had a strange and haunted quality to them.

“Oh, Jem,” Skye swallowed around the sudden painful lump in her throat, scrubbing at her own burning eyes with her fists. She wanted to suck her thumb, but she knew she couldn’t do that if she was going to hug Jemma, so she put her paci in her mouth instead, and moved to hug Jemma. She held on as tight as she could, and Jemma seemed to be doing the same, because it was a little hard to breathe—but she wouldn’t complain, because Jemma needed her.

She was dimly aware of Mommy’s arms going around them both, holding them close and safe.

“My precious little ones.” She said. “I love you both so much. We’ve had a tough day, and I think right now, we could all use a nap, and then afterward, we’ll do something as a family. We need to be together after today.”

Skye mumbled something in agreement. She wasn’t sure exactly what she’d said, because she was so focused on helping Jemma.

Jemma didn’t say anything, she just trembled and let go of Skye to hold on to Mommy. Skye couldn’t blame her—she knew she gave really good hugs, but she wasn’t a grown-up, she didn’t know how to help Jemma like Mommy and Daddy did.

She was surprised when Mommy lifted them both off the floor at once, settling them each on a hip. “I know Skye needs a diaper change, do you need anything before naptime, Jemma?”

“’M hungry,” Jemma said, so quietly that Skye barely heard her.

“Okay. Why don’t you go with Daddy and get something to eat while I go take care of Skye?”

Jemma nodded, and reached for Phil, who took her very gently from May.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s go get you something to eat.”

 

*.*.*.*.

[JEMMA]

 

“What are you hungry for, sweetheart?” Coulson asked.

“I just want my bottle, Daddy.” Jemma said. She didn’t feel up to eating big girl food, and her bottle was safe and soothing, and definitely what she needed right now. She was tired and stressed out, and she thought if she ate, she might throw up, and she didn’t think she could cope with that. She kind of wanted to nurse again; it was so intimate and safe, and she felt so close to Mommy while she was doing it, but she didn’t want to be a burden or make Mommy sore by doing it too much. At least now she understood why Skye liked it so much…

Daddy sighed. “You need to eat real food too, baby. You won’t grow up big and strong without it.”

Jemma’s eyes burned, and she felt them welling up again—she was so sick of crying, but she couldn’t do anything to stop it. “No…” she said. She hadn’t meant to sound like she was whining, she was just so little and so scared, and she didn’t feel like she could deal with big girl food, which sometimes wasn’t safe.

“No, Daddy, I need my bottle.” Jemma insisted. She didn’t want to make him cross, didn’t want to be bad, but she just _couldn’t_ handle it. Tears trailed down her face, running in the tracks that hadn’t had a chance to dry since that morning. She felt awful. She knew she was being difficult, even though she didn’t really mean to. Grown-ups, even Mommy and Daddy didn’t always understand how important her bottle was.

Coulson took a breath. “Okay sweetheart. You can have a bottle now, but I’d like you to try and eat something when you get up from your nap. I know you’re very little, but even now, your body is too big for you to stay healthy from just milk. Even with the special powder we have, you still need to eat regular food so you don’t get sick.” He said gently, and Jemma was sitting on the counter, so they were closer to eye-level.

“It’s scary Daddy,” Jemma admitted.

“I know. I’ll let you help me cook so you know it’s safe. We’ll lay out all the ingredients before we start, that way you know exactly what’s inside the food you’re eating. And after your nap, you’ll have some apple slices—you like those, right?”

Jemma nodded. She thought that sounded okay, especially since apples were one of her favorite fruits, and she knew those would be safe. Sometimes, when Bobbi made snack, she’d soak them in lemon juice, and then it was a little like eating candy.

“Hi, sweetie,” Bobbi said from the doorway in a very soft, gentle voice. “I heard what happened; I’m so sorry, honey.” She came over and gave Jemma a hug while Daddy made her bottle. “You’re having a rough day, huh little one?”

Jemma nodded. She really wanted her dummy, but it was on the counter, and she didn’t feel big enough to ask for it. But, Bobbi seemed to know that, and she took it off the counter and slipped it between Jemma’s teeth.

She kissed Jemma’s forehead. “Looking for this, baby?”

Jemma nodded. She guessed she’d been trying to suck on it, even though it wasn’t in her mouth. She did that sometimes, and it was embarrassing, but she was glad Bobbi knew what it mean. Her bladder throbbed suddenly, urgently, and Jemma wondered why she hadn’t gotten any warning before now when she had to go so badly.

She thought that maybe she could make it to the loo if Bobbi carried her, but she was already wetting by the time she’d opened her mouth to ask. She felt guilty, she should’ve bbeen a big girl, should have paid more attention. She’d have to do better in the future.

“Alright, sweetheart,” Daddy was saying. “It’s naptime. You can have your bottle first, but I thought it’d be better if we’re in the bedroom first.”

“Okay.” Jemma said.

Bobbi kissed her cheek. “Goodnight cutie-pie. Sweet dreams.”

Jemma felt herself smiling, and it was nice to have something to be happy about after having such a traumatic morning. “Nigh’ Bobbi.” She said as Daddy lifted her off the counter, her body suddenly heavy with fatigue, her tongue thick and unresponsive in her mouth. “Lov’ ‘ou.”

“Love you too,” Bobbi answered, and then Daddy carried her out of the kitchen, patting her butt in a slow, soothing rhythm.

“I’m wet,” Jemma admitted.

“I know. It’s okay. We’ll get you dry, and then you can have your bottle. After that, it’s really naptime, okay?”

“’Kay.” Jemma said, and rested her head on Daddy’s shoulder. She felt drained and worn out, and she was glad he was there, because she had no idea how she would cope with this on her own. Even if she had nothing else, she still had her family.

*.*.*.*.

[MELINDA]

She found him in the armory, fingers flitting over weapons, gathering ammunition, supplies.

“What’s going on, Fitz?” Melinda asked gently; she could tell by his posture that he was upset, shoulders stiff and tense, back rigid.

“I’m going hunting.” Fitz replied in a dead voice, shoving his pistol into its holster—it was a real firearm, not the ICER he normally carried. Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood to take prisoners.

“No,” Melinda moved to block the doorway. She didn’t often forbid the younger agents from doing things, not when there was a compromise to be made. But she wouldn’t budge on this. Fitz was good, getting better every day, but he wasn’t ready to face someone of Ward’s caliber.

Ward had experience on his side, not to mention six inches and fifty pounds on Fitz, which made for a big difference in a fight.

“We can’t let him get away with this agent May!” Fitz’s voice was ragged, raw, and when he turned to look at her, his eyes were red, like he’d been crying.

“I know you’re upset, Fitz. I understand. We’re going to fix this, we’ll find a way. But getting yourself killed isn’t going to solve anything.” She tried to be gentle about it, but he needed to understand the risk he was taking.

“I can handle it.” Fitz insisted, setting his jaw.

“You can’t. You’re not ready yet.”

“You can’t stop me.” Fitz growled.

Melinda sighed. “I can. I will, if you make me. I can’t let you go out there without the tools you need to face Ward. I can help you, teach you in the meantime, if that’s what you want, but you’re not going after him. Not now, not without training, and certainly not without backup.”

“He hurt Jemma. “ Fitz allowed after a moment.

“I know. And believe me, I’m furious, but I’m not going to waste it on a tantrum. I’m going to use it to take him down, when the time comes.”

“Teach me.” Fitz said.

Melinda nodded, letting out a slow breath, glad that he was willing to see reason. “Come here,”

Fitz shuffled closer, and she wrapped her arms around him, giving him the hug she knew he desperately needed, but wouldn’t ask for. She felt him tremble against her.

“It’s alright.” She told him quietly. “We’re going to be okay.” She held him for a moment longer, and then he pulled away. He was nibbling on his knuckle.

May took his teething ring out of her pocket; she’d brought it on a hunch, and she was glad she had. “You don’t have to be strong, all the time, Leo. You’ve come a long way, and you’re doing so well, and I am so, so, immensely proud of the man you are. But that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to need some comfort sometimes. It’s okay to need people. Specialists work alone most of the time, because that’s what we’re trained to do. But they put us on teams for a reason, honey. People think it’s because we’re the best, and the team needs us, and on very rare occasions, that’s true. But most of the time, it’s the other way around. Just because you work alone, doesn’t mean you have to _be_ alone.”

Leo nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“The girls just went down for a nap, and I think you could do with some quiet time too. You don’t have to sleep, but some rest will be good for you.” She held out her hand.

Leo put his weapons back and took it, biting his teething ring.

May led him to her bedroom.

Jemma was in Phil’s arms on the bed, asleep after finishing her bottle, and Skye was curled up in a little ball next to him.

Phil passed Jemma to May and lifted Skye into his arms very gently, so as not to wake her. Leo laid down next to Phil, and May settled on the bed next to him, patting Jemma’s bottom absently. Her diaper was a little wet, but she’d change her when she woke up.

“Mommy?” Jemma’s voice was thick with sleep, slurred, and she blinked heavily at Melinda.

Melinda stroked her back gently and kissed the top of Jemma’s head when she rested it on her chest. “Shh.” She whispered. “I’m right here, baby. Go back to sleep.”

Jemma’s tiny fingers fisted in Melinda’s shirt, almost like she was trying to make sure Melinda didn’t go anywhere, but she didn’t say anything else. A few seconds later, her breathing evened out. She felt a weight on her shoulder, and realized that Leo had nodded off too.

Good. He needed to sleep.

“Is it wrong that I like them this way?” Melinda wondered. “After Bahrain, after what happened to Grace…I thought I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s mother. I know we talked about this, that we said we had to make a choice between this life and the other one…sometimes I wonder if we made the right call.” She admitted.

Phil nodded. “I wonder that too sometimes. I think the other life would suit us. But, if we’d chosen that life over this one, we’d never have met these kids…I know what you mean. Now, especially, I wish we could just pack up the kids and go off the grid. Disappear into civilian life. I know we can’t, but it’s nice to dream sometimes.” He reached over and laced his fingers with hers.

“It is,” Melinda agreed. His grip was firm in hers, his touch intimate and reassuring.

“I think I’d make a good stay-at-home-dad.” Phil said.

“You would,” Melinda agreed. “But the house would be a mess, and the children would tie you to a chair before I’d even been gone for five minutes. They’ve got you wrapped around their fingers; all three of them do.”

“They do not,” Phil huffed, as though he were offended, but May had known him too long to fall for the ruse.

“Oh really?” she arched an eyebrow. “When was the last time you said ‘no’ to Skye when she asked you for five more minutes before bedtime? Or to Jemma when she needed ‘ten more minutes’ to finish some research in the lab, only to fall asleep down there and have you carry her back to her bunk? Or to Fitz when I told him that he couldn’t use the toaster for engineering parts, and he asked you instead?”

Phil sighed. “Alright, alright. Point taken. I can be the strict parent too, you know.”

Melinda smiled. “I don’t think you can,”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It is. When Skye asks you for five more minutes at bedtime tonight—and you know she will, because she always does—tell her no. And I don’t care what she does with her eyes, she’s adorable, but if you let her use that against you now, she’s going to be a nightmare when she gets older.”

Phil sighed again. “Fine. You’re on. But if I succeed, and I’m confident that I will, you’re changing Skye the next time she poops.”

Melinda sighed. “Fair enough. But if you can’t do it, you’re on diaper duty the next three times she does it.”

“Deal,” Phil said.

Melinda leaned back against the pillows as Phil turned on the TV, keeping the volume low so the kids could sleep. She was comfortable and surrounded by her family, and she couldn’t think of anywhere she’d rather be.


	23. Chapter 23

[JEMMA]

 

Jemma was fairly certain her bladder was going to burst.

She’d just woken up from her nap, and she didn’t really want to move, because she felt safe when Mommy was holding her, but she knew that if she didn’t go _now_ , she’d have an accident.

“Mommy,” she said desperately, shaking May. “Mommy wake up!”

May’s eyes snapped open. “I’m up, I’m up. What’s wrong?”

“I have to pee,” Jemma admitted.

“Oh! Come on, baby, let’s hurry.” May got out of bed and scooped Jemma into her arms in the same motion, rushing with her to the en suite bathroom. She untapped Jemma’s diaper—which to Jemma’s great relief was dry—and sat her on the toilet.

It was a little embarrassing to go like that, with May holding her over the toilet, but she was a big girl, and this was what she was supposed to be doing, even if wetting a diaper made her feel safer.

“All done?” May asked once she’d finished.

Jemma nodded. “Can I wear a pull-up now?”

“If you want. Are you sure? You remember what the rule is right?” Mommy reminded her gently.

“I know. I’m sure.” Jemma said, with a confidence she didn’t feel. She wasn’t sure, not even a little, but big girls had to be brave.

Mommy took a pull-up out of the package under the sink and held it out for Jemma to step into; she had to put her hands on Mommy’s shoulders to keep her balance, which was a little unsettling, but she wasn’t going to dwell on that now—she would need all her focus to make sure she got to the loo on time.

“These pull-ups are a little different than the ones you’re used to; the little hearts on the front disappear if you wet it, and if that happens just come find me, or Daddy, or Bobbi, and we’ll help you clean up, okay?”

Jemma nodded. “Okay,” She wanted to say that it wouldn’t, that she was a big girl and wasn’t going to have an accident, but she couldn’t. The odds of her wetting herself were depressingly high—even now, she knew there was no way she would have made it to the potty without Mommy’s help.

She shook her head. She couldn’t afford to think like that, she had to be self-reliant. She could do this.

Even if it was really scary.

Mommy kissed her forehead then and scooped her up so she could wash her hands. “I’m very proud of you for trying to make it to the potty, Jemma. But I want you to remember that I’m not going to be upset with you if you have accidents, or if you want to go back to wearing diapers. So try not to worry about it too much, alright sweetheart.”

Jemma nodded, even though she knew she would worry about it a lot anyway. She tried to focus on making sure her hands were clean, even though it was really tempting just to play with the soap and splash around. She dried her hands on the towel that hung nearby, and then Mommy put her down again.

It was only then that Jemma realized that Mommy hadn’t put her pants back on.

“Mommy, what about my pants?” She wondered.

“I know it’s hard to get to the potty sometimes, especially now that you’re littler, and I don’t want you to have an accident because you can’t get your pants off.” Mommy explained.

Jemma nodded; she supposed that made sense, and it wasn’t as if the other’s hadn’t seen her in just a diaper before anyway—she’d been big then, and this was less mortifying than that had been. For the barest of instants, she thought that maybe she was making a mistake, maybe she should wear diapers like Skye, since she felt safer that way. She felt so little, and making it to the potty suddenly seemed like such a big responsibility, and it was scary.

She wouldn’t be a burden. She had to show them that she was valuable, that she wasn’t a useless baby, that she could still be helpful.

She wanted her dummy, and Ben Bunny; now that she’d taken on this new responsibility, it didn’t feel safe to go anywhere without them.

“Can I have my dummy?” Jemma asked in a small voice, and she was so, so glad when Mommy slid it between her teeth; it felt so soothing and safe to be able to suck something. She reached up for Mommy, like she’d seen Skye do, and she was so glad when Mommy picked her up. She wound her arms around Mommy’s neck and rested her forehead on May’s.

Mommy kissed her nose. “I love you, little one.”

“Love you too, Mommy.” Jemma said around her dummy, but she knew Mommy understood.

“Daddy said you’re supposed to have a snack now. Do you still want apple slices, or something else?” Mommy said.

Jemma looked away. “I’m not hungry.” She said, but her tummy growled, betraying her.

“You don’t have to eat a lot, but I’m worried you’ll get sick if you don’t eat some big girl food. You can’t just have bottles and not eat anything.”

Jemma’s eyes burned, tears leaking out without her permission; she’d known that already, but hearing it again was somehow too much to cope with—because she _needed_ her bottle, even if she was supposed to be a big girl. Her breath was coming in sharp, short gasps, her heart jackhammering in her chest. She sucked her dummy furiously, but it wasn’t doing very much to calm her down.

Mommy rocked her gently, whispering soothing words in her ear, rubbing her back, but she couldn’t stop crying; her tears soaked into Mommy’s shirt, dripped onto her skin.

“Baby,” Mommy’s voice was tender, soft. She rested her forehead against Jemma’s, eyes warm and accepting. “Baby, listen to Mommy.”

Jemma took a jagged breath, little sobs still escaping her. “Mama,” she said, without really meaning to—but she was _so_ little, and ‘Mommy’ somehow seemed like a word for someone much bigger than her, who didn’t need bottles, or pull-ups, who wasn’t afraid of eating big girl food like she was.

Mommy sat down on the closed toilet lid and cradled Jemma in her arms. “My beautiful, sweet baby girl,” She said, very soft, very gentle, brushing Jemma’s hair out of her face. “I would never, ever take your bottle away from you. I know how much you need it. But, I also know that you need to eat. You can have a bottle with every meal and snack, if that’s what you need, but you also need to eat.”

Jemma whimpered. Words were hard, too far away.

Mommy was unbuttoning her shirt—Jemma had been nuzzling her breast without thinking about it.

“Here’s what we’re going to do: first, you’re going to nurse, because I know you need it. Next we’re going to go to the kitchen, and we’re going to make you a bottle and pick out a very small snack. Then, we’re going to sit together, and you can eat your snack as slowly as you need to.”

Jemma felt herself relax—just hearing that she was going to be able to nurse was immensely comforting. She was embarrassed to see the damp spot on May’s shirt; she’d been trying to nurse through the fabric.

Just how far gone was she?

And then she was latching on, suckling, clinging to Mommy. She was so overwhelmed, and so afraid.

“That’s it,” Mommy said softly, patting Jemma’s bottom. “That’s it. Shh.”

Jemma didn’t feel like she was crying anymore, but her cheeks were still damp. She felt Mommy disengaging her, and she wanted to cry all over again, fear spiking in her chest. “No,” she whimpered. She wasn’t ready.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I just need to switch sides. Mommy’s getting sore.” Mommy explained in soft, gentle tones. She kissed Jemma’s forehead and guided her to her other nipple.

Jemma felt a little bad, but she was glad Mommy hadn’t made her stop.

After a while, Jemma pulled away, satisfied.

“Alright, little one. Are you ready for your bottle?” Mommy asked as she re-buttoned her shirt.

Jemma nodded; she still felt too little to use her words, even though she knew that Mommy told Skye that a lot. She hoped Mommy wasn’t cross with her…And then she felt it.

“Oh no…” She said quietly, hoping that Mommy didn’t look down and see that the pictures on her pull-up were gone. She hadn’t even felt herself going, but she’d been so upset and hadn’t been paying attention.

“Did you have an accident, sweetheart?” Mommy’s voice was gentle and understanding.

Jemma looked away, too embarrassed and frustrated with herself to answer. “I’m sorry,” She managed after a moment. She was so bad…Mommy had trusted her to be a big girl, to be responsible and tell a grown-up when she needed the potty, and she couldn’t do it.

“It’s okay, little one. Being potty-trained is hard work, especially for a little girl like you. I’m not upset, I promise. Now, let’s get you dry.”

Jemma wanted to cry all over again. She’d been trying to pay attention, really she had, but she’d failed, and she was being a burden. She hadn’t realized it would be so hard, and she was suddenly tempted to ask for a nappy instead, because using the toilet was such a big responsibility, and if she’d failed so early on, she dreaded to think about what would happen further down the road.

Jemma felt numb as Mommy cleaned her up—she was glad she had her dummy, because she didn’t feel so sad when she was sucking on something.

“It’s alright, baby,” Mommy said, scooping her up and holding her close; Jemma felt a little better after that. “Accidents happen, it’s nothing to get so upset over.” She wiped Jemma’s tears away gently.

Jemma rested her head on Mommy’s shoulder, and tried to believe her, even though she still wanted to cry.

Mommy carried her to the kitchen on her hip, and Jemma was very glad that she hadn’t had to walk; she didn’t feel big enough to be away from Mommy, even if it was just to walk to the kitchen, even if they were holding hands the whole way there.

She head Mommy sigh when they arrived in the kitchen.

“Who gave Skye cheese puffs?” She didn’t sound particularly cross, but she definitely didn’t sound happy.

Jemma risked a peek at her surroundings, and immediately understood Mommy’s frustration. Skye’s face and hands were covered in the orange residue from the snack food; fortunately, she hadn’t touched anything else yet. She thought it was a good job she hadn’t, because the dark blue dungarees she was wearing were new, and they would probably end up being the first casualty.

“Lance,” Skye answered helpfully around a mouthful of food.

Mommy paused by Skye’s chair to kiss her temple. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, baby girl.” She reminded her.

Skye swallowed before saying: “Okay, Mommy.” And then: “Is Jemma okay?”

Mommy rubbed Jemma’s back, and she tucked her face against her neck. “She’ll be okay. She’s just really overwhelmed right now. It’s very scary for her to be so little, she hasn’t had time to adjust like you have.”

“Can I help?” Skye wondered, and she sounded genuinely concerned.

“If you really want to help her, the best thing you can do is to help her get comfortable with being little.”

“I can do it. You can count on me, Mommy.” Skye said.

Lance came into the kitchen then, and Mommy tossed a damp dishcloth at him.

“Clean the baby up,” She said.

Jemma could see Lance’s face over Mommy’s shoulder—she felt brave enough to look around a little—and he didn’t look happy.

Almost as if she really _did_ have eyes in the back of her head, Mommy said: “Don’t start. You made this mess, now you clean it up.”

Lance muttered something—probably a bad word, because Mommy pointed at the swear jar—but he knelt down next to Skye and started cleaning her up, despite her squirming.

Mommy put Jemma down on the floor, which was really scary, but she leaned against Mommy’s leg and she felt a little better.

Skye came and sat next to her on the floor, close enough that Jemma could have climbed into her lap if she’d wanted to.

Jemma realized then that even now, Skye was bigger than she was, even if it was only by a few centimeters.

Skye planted a sticky kiss on her cheek, and then reached into her pocket to withdraw a chewy candy that she knew Jemma liked.

“I saved you some of my snack,” She said, and offered the candy to Jemma.

Jemma turned away from it. She didn’t feel big enough to eat it, but that was embarrassing to admit

“Don’t you want candy? I thought you liked this kind…” Skye seemed a little put out and Jemma felt bad about it, but she couldn’t bring herself to eat the candy, even if it was her favorite.

“I’m scared.” Jemma finally said in a tiny voice.

Skye opened her arms, and Jemma crawled into her lap without really thinking about it, because she desperately needed the contact. “It’s okay, Jems. You don’t have to be scared. I’ve got you, and Mommy’s right here with us. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.”

It was a little awkward, Jemma could tell that Skye wasn’t used to holding other people, and the way she rocked her was arrhythmic and a little jerky, but she was so, so, grateful for Skye’s comfort. She felt like maybe, just for now, Skye was the big sister, even though she was still in diapers. She was so brave and wasn’t scared of anything, so maybe it was okay if Jemma was the baby for a little while.

She rested her head against Skye, and felt something at her lips, but was hesitant to open them.

“It’s just your paci, Jemma. It’s okay.” Skye said, and even though she was so little too, Jemma found her voice soothing. “It will help. You just need to suck it.” Skye told her.

Any other time, Jemma probably would have told Skye off for trying to tell her what to do, like she was the grown-up. But Jemma was so scared, and Skye sounded so sure, and was so comforting, that Jemma didn’t care. She just wanted to do what Skye said, to feel better. Her dummy brushed against her lips; she opened her mouth and sucked on it gently.

Jemma heard a bottle shaking distantly, and then Mommy knelt down in front of her.

“Are you ready for your bottle, baby?”

Jemma nodded, and let Mommy take her from Skye.

Mommy handed Skye a bottle filled with water, and she made a face.

“I don’t like water.” She complained.

“I know, but you can’t have juice or milk all the time. Your body needs water to stay healthy too.”

Skye heaved a surprisingly adult-sounding sigh, but took the bottle anyway. “Alright.” She grumbled, clearly less than pleased about the situation. “I’m gonna go play with Lance,”

Bobbi came into the kitchen then, and scooped Skye off the floor, tickling her. “Hi, sweetheart,” she said. “Did you have a nice nap?”

Skye nodded. “Uh-huh. I was gonna go play with Lance now,”

Bobbi put Skye down on the floor, and sent her off with a gentle pat to her bottom. “Okay. Have fun, cutie. And try not to get into _too_ much trouble.”

Skye grinned, and scampered off.

Mommy carried Jemma into the sitting room, and sat with her on the couch to give her her bottle.

The cool milk was soothing in her mouth and on her throat. Her stomach felt satisfied, and she didn’t think she needed to have a snack after her bottle, even though she knew Mommy would insist that she eat something.

She drank as slowly as she possibly could, to try and delay the inevitable, but eventually the milk was gone.

“Alright, little one. Time to pick out a snack.”

Jemma shook her head. She was way too little and vulnerable to think about eating anything. “No, Mama.” She said. “No snack.”

“Jemma,” Mommy’s voice was firm, but gentle. “We talked about this. You need to eat, baby, you’re going to get sick if you don’t.”

Jemma’s eyes burned, and before she knew it, she was crying.

“Oh, baby,” May said quietly, rocking her gently.

Jemma pressed her face into Mommy’s chest, fingers clutching tightly at the fabric of her shirt.

“Hey there, sweetheart.” Bobbi’s voice was calm, soothing.

Jemma turned to look at her, still holding tight to Mommy; it was too scary to even think about letting go. She felt too little to talk.

“Mommy tells me you’ve been having trouble eating.” Bobbi didn’t sound cross, just sad, which was somehow worse, kind of like how it was worse when Daddy was disappointed, than when he was angry.

Jemma nodded.

“I think I might be able to help with that. But I need you to trust me, okay? Can you do that?” Bobbi wondered.

Another nod.

Bobbi held out a jar of baby food—mashed pears—and a tiny, baby-sized spoon. “I’m not trying to humiliate you, and if you don’t want to eat it, that’s fine. I just thought it might be easier, since it’s vacuum-sealed. The only thing in this jar is baby food. Nothing else, and it’s made of glass, so there’s no way anyone could put anything else in here.”

Jemma felt a lot better after hearing that, and she reached out to take the jar and spoon from Bobbi. She looked up at Mommy.

“Will you feed me?” she asked.

Mommy kissed her temple and opened the jar for her. “Of course, baby.”

The texture of the pears was a little odd, but they were sweet, and that made them easy to eat. Jemma felt much safer when Mommy was feeding her. Her bladder throbbed, achingly full out of nowhere, and even though she knew she should ask Mommy or Bobbi to bring her too the potty, she couldn’t find the words, didn’t want to give up the safety of being fed in Mommy’s lap.

The surge of warmth in he rpull-up was more than she’d expected, and she hoped it wouldn’t leak. It wasn’t uncomfortable, she didn’t mind being wet, but she hoped Mommy wouldn’t notice right away, even though Mommy noticed everything.

“Bobbi,” Mommy was saying. “Could you go get me a clean diaper and changing supplies from my room?”

Bobbi nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

“It’s okay, little one.” Mommy told Jemma once they were alone. She’d finished all her snack, like a big girl, so she was just sitting in Mommy’s lap. Even though she was wet, she wasn’t embarrassed. She just felt safe.

“I think you might be biting off a little more than you can chew, Jemma. It might be better if you stick to wearing diapers for a little while, until you adjust.” Mommy said, rubbing her back gently.

Jemma shook her head, even though she really wanted to say ‘yes’. She had to prove that she was a big girl, and could handle extra responsibility. “No. I can do it, Mommy,” Jemma protested.

Mommy sighed, like she didn’t really agree with Jemma’s decision. “Alright, baby girl. We’ll try again tomorrow, okay. Just try to relax for now. You don’t have to worry about going to the potty for the rest of the day.”

Jemma squirmed. “What if I need to….”

“Just tell one of us, and we’ll take you to the potty. You don’t have to use your diaper for that if you don’t want to.”

Jemma nodded, quietly sighing in relief.

Bobbi came back with the new diaper and changing supplies, and Mommy didn’t waste any time getting Jemma out of her wet pull-up.

If she was being honest with herself, she felt better in diapers, safer. But she wasn’t sure she should allow herself that comfort. Not when there was so much work to be done, and she hadn’t even been to the lab yet. She didn’t think Mommy would let her go to the lab if she was in diapers, but maybe, if she didn’t have any accidents tomorrow, she’d be allowed to go.

Mommy lifted Jemma back onto her feet and kissed her forehead. “All done, my sweet girl. Why don’t you go find Skye and play for a little while before dinner. I think it would help you to relax a little.”

Jemma nodded. “Okay.”

It was only after she left the room that she realized that this was her opportunity to get to the lab. She felt a little guilty about that, since Skye was usually the one who broke the rules, but she couldn’t find a solution if she wasn’t in the lab.

She took a deep breath, and set off in the direction of the lab.

 


	24. Chapter 24

[JEMMA]

The walk to the lab was a lot longer than Jemma remembered—probably on account of her much shorter legs.

She stepped across the threshold, and almost burst into tears.

The lab had never been _foreign_ to her before.

But now….

It was as if she had stepped into a whole other world.

Everything was so _big_. Jemma couldn’t reach the top of the holotable without standing on a chair, which struck her as dangerous, since all the chairs in the lab had wheels. Standing on chairs wasn’t allowed, ever—not even when she’d been big. May had caught her standing on a chair once to reach the top cupboard in the kitchen, and she hadn’t been allowed in the kitchen for the rest of the day.

It had been embarrassing, to be sure, but it had made her feel safe, knowing that May was looking out for her.

She supposed that it shouldn’t have come as that big of a shock, but the fact that she couldn’t even use the microscope—the lenses were too far apart for her to see through them. She felt her eyes welling up. The one thing she could do, her field of expertise, was slipping through her fingers, because she couldn’t utilize the tools she needed to do her job. She felt awful.

And suddenly, she was angry. She wanted to throw things, break things, scream, and yell and cry and kick and hit something. It wasn’t _fair_. She wanted to be big and do her job, but she was little and too full of big emotions, and she didn’t know how to cope with it all.

Mostly she just cried. She kicked out at nothing, overcome by a sudden surge of anguish, and toppled off the chair.

Jemma let out a surprised yelp, just before she hit ground, her head smacking into the tile hard enough that her vision flashed white. And then the _real_ crying started.

Jemma wailed, beyond words for the pain she was experiencing; all she could do was cry.

“Is everything—Jemma!” Daddy’s voice came from a far away place, but he was holding her tight, and that helped to ground her in the here and now. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Her head was pounding, a horrible, splitting headache throbbed between her temples. She could still move her arms and legs and fingers and toes, was aware of what was going on around her. But her ears were filled with gauze, a dull ringing noise accompanied everything she heard. She could see, too, but the harsh light of the lab hurt her eyes, so she pressed her face into Daddy’s shirt to hide from it.

“I fell,” She managed to hold back her sobs long enough to get that out, and then she was crying again.

“Do you hurt anywhere?” Daddy asked gently, rocking her a little and patting her back.

“Just my head.” Jemma admitted. “It really, really, hurts Daddy.”

“What did you hit it on, baby?”

“The floor,” Jemma replied honestly, but she hoped he wouldn’t ask anymore questions; she didn’t want him to be cross with her for climbing on the chair, which definitely wasn’t allowed, especially one with wheels.

She felt him gently probing her head, looking for bumps, or blood maybe, but she didn’t think she’d hit it _that_ hard. It still hurt a lot though.

Daddy looked around the room, and he let out a sigh when he saw the lab chair spinning in a lazy circle, all by itself.

“Jemma, were you standing on the chair?” Daddy didn’t sound angry, just disappointed, and that was somehow worse than him being mad.

Jemma hid her face against his shoulder and pretended not to hear him; maybe he’d forget asking the question if she didn’t answer.

“I’d like you to answer me please, baby.” Daddy said, but his voice was firm, and she knew that it wasn’t really a request.

Even though she was afraid she’d be in trouble, she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. “Yes,” She said quietly, tense, waiting for him to yell, to tell her she was bad.

But, Coulson just sighed. “Jemma, we talked about this, even before this happened to you. If you can’t reach something, you ask for help, you don’t climb onto chairs, especially not ones with wheels. It’s very dangerous, and you can fall and hurt yourself, like you just did.”

Jemma nibbled on her thumb. She definitely needed to suck something, but her thumb felt weird in her mouth; she wished she hadn’t left her dummy in the sitting room. “Are you mad at me?” She asked.

“I’m not mad.” Daddy said calmly. “I’m disappointed that you didn’t listen, but I’m not mad. And, I’m worried about you—we should probably go get some ice for your head, you have a pretty nasty bump, sweetheart.”

Jemma wanted to cry, hot tears trickled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I was bad. Am I in trouble?”

Daddy kissed her forehead. “You’re not bad, baby. We all make mistakes sometimes. And, from now on, I don’t want you in the lab without a grown-up, alright?”

“Fine,” Jemma muttered under her breath, even though she knew the tone she was using wasn’t very nice, and Daddy would be cross if he heard her.

And all at once, she was furious. It came out of nowhere, a tempest out of the clear blue sky.

Her ire burned in her throat, churned her stomach, quickened her pulse.

“What was that?” Daddy asked, and his tone made it clear that she really hadn’t been all that quiet when she muttered.

“I _said: ‘fine’!_ ” Jemma shouted, lamenting for the first time that her voice didn’t carry the power it used to.

“Jemma,” Daddy’s voice was softer somehow, almost like he knew something was wrong.

“Just take this away from me too!” Jemma yelled, squirming away from him. “Don’t you understand? It’s all my fault! First Fitz, then Skye, now this…All my fault. I wasn’t fast enough to save Fitz, wasn’t fast enough to save Skye, and now I’m stuck like this too, and I can’t even use the bloody equipment!” A sob tore out of her, harsh, ragged, desperate. Broken.

“None of that is on you, baby. None of it was your fault. Fitz is _alive_ because of you. You weren’t on the mission with Skye, so there’s no way that could be your fault. And, you had no way of knowing that Ward was coming for you.” Coulson reached out to her, and although she knew that he could have caught her if he’d really wanted to, she scrambled further away, clambering under what had been her desk, curling up in a little ball in the corner furthest from him.

“Leave me alone!” Jemma snapped, even though all she really wanted was a hug, and her dummy.

“I can’t sweetheart,” Daddy said sadly. “Not while you’re hurting like this.”

Jemma didn’t say anything; she didn’t deserve his comfort.

“I’ll be right here if you need me,” Daddy said softly, and sat down on the floor, which made Jemma feel even worse, because she knew he didn’t like that, and that it made his back sore.

She was so _bad…_

A long time went by. The silence stretched on, time marked only by Jemma’s sobs. She’d wet her diaper twice, and she was worried that it might leak, but she couldn’t bring herself to crawl out from under the desk, no matter how uncomfortable her diaper was becoming.

“I saw what happened on the feed…How is she?” Mommy’s voice, coming from somewhere close by.

“She fell off one of the chairs.” Daddy was saying. “I think she was trying to use the microscope; she was just lying on the floor crying when I found her. I told her that I didn’t want her in the lab without a grown-up from now on, and she just _lost_ it. I’ve never seen her so upset before…”

“I’ll try talking to her,” Mommy said. “Why don’t you go take care of Skye; she’s smelling pretty ripe.”

Daddy sighed.

“You might as well get used to it Phil,” Mommy continued, and it sounded like she was smiling. “The next three after this are yours if you don’t hold up your end.”

“We’ll see about that.” Daddy replied, but he was walking away. Jemma could tell because his voice got quieter.

Mommy sat down across from Jemma, and Jemma ached to go to her, but she didn’t know if she could.

“How’s your head?” she asked after a moment.

“It hurts,” Jemma admitted, and she felt tears slipping out without her permission; her head hurt a lot more now that she was thinking about it again.

“There’s some children’s Motrin in the medicine cabinet. “ Mommy said. “We can go get some if you want; it will help with your headache.”

Jemma crawled toward Mommy, then hesitated. “Are you mad?”

Mommy shook her head. “No. I’m very worried about you, baby girl, but I’m not mad.”

Jemma looked away. “You shouldn’t waste your time worrying about me. I’m no good anyway. This whole mess is my fault—you should just get rid of me. Everyone will be better off if I’m not around to muck things up anymore.” Jemma was proud of herself for getting all that out without crying. She knew it would probably upset May to hear it, but it felt true to her.

“Jemma Elizabeth Simmons,” May said, very calm, very gentle, but also very firm, not allowing any arguments. “You stop that this instant.”

Jemma gasped. Mommy had never done _that_ before, called her by her full name, and she thought she must be in lots of trouble now.

“None of this is your fault Jemma.”

“But it is! I couldn’t save them, and now I’m stuck as this useless baby, and I can’t help anyone. I may not have been cleared for combat, or anything like that, but at least I was _valuable_. And now…now…” Jemma burst into tears all over again, and she didn’t _care_ if Mommy was cross with her, she was _so tired_ of being strong and brave and grown-up. She just wanted to be held.

She crawled out from under the desk and into Mommy’s lap; her diaper had swollen quite a bit, and it was hard to move, but she managed. And then she was sobbing into the fabric of her shirt, fingers twining in its softness.

“I’m right here, little one.” Mommy said, rubbing her back beneath her shirt. That always made her feel better when she was upset, the skin-to-skin contact felt so warm and intimate and safe.

“Mommy…I’m scared.” Jemma admitted, pressing her face into Mommy’s shoulder.

“I know, baby. I know you’re scared. But it’s okay; I won’t let anything happen to you.” Mommy said, rocking Jemma gently and patting her bottom.

Jemma’s diaper squished against her, but neither of them said anything about it, and anyway the gesture was comforting.

Mommy eased Jemma away from her carefully, so they could look at each other.

“Jemma, I need you to listen to me very carefully. No one expects you to be the same person you were before this happened to you. You’ve been through a lot already, and I think you’ve been so focused on taking care of everyone else, that sometimes you forget: _you_ need to be taken care of too sometimes.” Mommy kissed her forehead.

Jemma nodded, she knew that was definitely true. And now, she felt way too little to take care of anyone…but that was her job, wasn’t it? She was crying again, it was all too much, and she couldn’t cope. She hid her face against Mommy’s shoulder again, jamming her thumb into her mouth. It felt really weird, but it was better than nothing.

Mommy just rocked her and rocked her and rocked her. She didn’t want to move. After a while, Mommy spoke again.

“Jemma?”

Jemma couldn’t bring herself to move away from Mommy again. It wasn’t safe and she was too little to be away from her. She whimpered and pressed herself closer to Mommy.

Mommy sighed a little and went back to rocking Jemma as she spoke.

“I think it would help, if you look at this as a second chance for you. You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up. An astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer-”

“A biochemist?” Jemma offered.

“If that’s what you want, sure. But, the person you were before…I think it’s time for you to let that girl go. You’re carrying too much stress and guilt around with you all the time, and it’s not healthy. Right now, I just want you to try and relax, and not worry about being big, because I think that puts a lot of pressure on you that you don’t need.”

Jemma felt _so_ much better after hearing that. She felt like she’d been pretending to be a big person so hard for so long, and it was exhausting. Being told that it was okay if she needed to be little was the greatest relief she could imagine.

She felt something clothy and wet in her mouth, and then Mommy was easing her head away from her breast. There was a dark, wet spot on her shirt and Jemma was embarrassed.

“’M sorry, Mommy,” she said quietly.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay if you need to nurse. But first, I think we need to change your diaper, don’t we? You’re very wet, little one.” Mommy said.

Jemma didn’t say anything; she was way too little to make any decisions by herself. She felt a little squirmy, her diaper had gotten cold, and it was really uncomfortable, and itchy, and a little sore. She hoped she wasn’t getting a rash…

“Come on, baby girl, let’s go get cleaned up.”

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

Skye felt a draft on her skin, that was familiar by now; someone was checking her diaper.

“Alright, kiddo. You have a date with the changing table, you stink.” Bobbi said, poking Skye in the ribs.

“But I’m _winning_ ,” Skye protested.

“We are _so_ not arguing about this, little girl. You need a diaper change. There will be plenty of time to play with Lance after you’re all clean.” Bobbi’s voice was firm, but she didn’t sound mad.

“If you’d just go to the loo, you wouldn’t have this problem,” Lance pointed out.

Skye just stared at him. No way. Potties were cold and scary, and she’d need tons of help…diapers were way better. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Lance made a silly face back, and she knew then that he was only teasing.

“Alright, baby, you can make silly faces with Lance later. You’re making my eyes water.”

Skye giggled, even though she was a little embarrassed to have the fact that she’d pooped acknowledged so openly. She thought about protesting, because she was beating Lance at checkers, and she was afraid that if he had time to really look at the board, she’d lose, but she didn’t. The mess against her skin was something she’d gotten used to, but it always felt nice to be clean, so she let Bobbi carry her away.

“I can take care of that,” Daddy said when they passed him in the hallway

“I’ve got it,” Bobbi answered, tickling Skye again. “I don’t get to spend enough quality time with my baby sister.”

Skye tried not to laugh, but she did anyway, Bobbi was really good at finding all her ticklish spots.

“I’m not going to argue with that,” Daddy replied.

“Is Jemma okay?” Bobbi asked then, and Skye was glad, because she didn’t know if she could be brave enough to ask that herself, she was afraid of the answer. “We heard her crying earlier.”

“She’s alright, she just having a really hard time adjusting.” Daddy told them.

“I can understand that.” Bobbi was saying. “Just let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”

Daddy nodded. “Will do. Thanks.”

Skye blew him a kiss as Bobbi continued down the hallway, because he looked sad, and she didn’t want him to be sad.

She felt a little awkward when they arrived in May’s bedroom, because Jemma was already there getting her diaper changed by Mommy, and Skye didn’t think she’d ever had an icky diaper in front of Jemma before. She suddenly felt nervous, but she didn’t say anything.

Bobbi laid her down on the bed next to Jemma, and got to work changing her; if the smell bothered Jemma, she didn’t say anything about it, and Skye was grateful. It felt good to be clean again, and she reached over to take Jemma’s hand when Bobbi was done.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Skye said.

Jemma squeezed her hand, but didn’t say anything back. She did cuddle closer to Skye though, and Skye gave her the best one—armed hug she could manage.

“Can I have my bottle?” Skye asked.

Bobbi came out of the bathroom from washing her hands. “Sure, cutie. What would you like?”

Skye thought about it for a moment. “Chocolate milk,” she decided.

Bobbi kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right back. Do you want anything, Jemma?”

Jemma shook her head.

“Okay,” Bobbi said, even though it sounded like she didn’t quite believe her.

“Do you still need to nurse?” Mommy asked Jemma once Bobbi had gone.

Jemma climbed into Mommy’s lap, but she didn’t let go of Skye’s hand.

The quiet noise of Jemma nursing kind of made Skye want to nurse too, but she knew Jemma needed it more, so she popped her paci into her mouth and leaned against Mommy. She rested her free hand on top of Jemma’s.

“We’re gonna be okay, Jems.” She said. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”


	25. Chapter 25

[SKYE]

Bobbi was playing peek-a-boo with Jemma on the floor.

Skye didn’t think it looked all that interesting, but Jemma seemed to be having fun—Skye thought that was mostly because Bobbi was doing a really good job of pretending to be startled when it was Jemma’s turn.

She’d been really little since she’d nursed—maybe even littler than Skye; but that was okay, Jemma looked after her a lot when Mommy and Daddy weren’t close by, and Skye knew that she could do the same for Jemma if she needed to.

Skye sucked on her bottle absently as she sat next to Lance on the couch. It was just plain water, which was kind of boring, but Mommy said she needed to drink water too, so she guessed it was okay. Lance was reading the newspaper, which didn’t seem like any fun, and Leo was training with Mommy and Daddy.

Skye didn’t think she wanted to play peek-a-boo, because that was babyish, even by her standards. She poked Lance in the ribs.

“I’m bored.” She complained.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lance replied, poking her in return.

“Fix it,” Skye answered, and poked him again.

Lance didn’t say anything.

Skye tried to be patient, but it was hard.

“ _Lance_ ,” She whined, he was taking _forever_ …

Too fast for her to react, Lance grabbed her and stood up from the couch in one move, dangling her upside-down by her ankles.

“Free tickles!” he announced.

Jemma was on her feet in a blink, little fingers dancing over Skye’s exposed skin; it felt more like gentle scratching, really, but Skye laughed anyway. She retaliated as best she could, but it was hard when the world was canted at such a crazy angle. From the sound of Jemma’s giggling, she was at least partially successful.

“What’s all this fuss?” Mommy stood in the entryway to the common room, a little sweaty from training with Leo and Daddy.

Skye ran over to give her a hug, wrapping her arms around Mommy’s leg. “I misseded you!” she said.

“Agent Skye, the correct pronunciation of the word is ‘missed’. You have added an unnecessary suffix.” Fishy chimed in helpfully; he’d been doing that a lot more often, lately.

Skye frowned. She hadn’t _tried_ to mispronounce it, it had just come out that way. Her eyes burned, and she knew she was about to cry—really, there was no reason to be this upset about such a small thing, but she couldn’t help it.

“I ‘misseded’ you too, baby. Are you being good?”

Skye nodded. “Lance was tickling me, Mommy, and he put me upside down!”

Mommy kissed her forehead. “Are you okay?”

Skye nodded. “I’m ‘kay, Mommy.”

“Did you tell them?” Coulson came up next to May.

“Hi, Daddy!” Skye said, and Jemma echoed her a second later.

“Tell us what?” Jemma wondered.

“The carnival is in town. I thought we could all go together,” Daddy said.

“That’s a wonderful idea.” Bobbi agreed.

Jemma stiffened and curled against Bobbi. “No go, Dada.” She said quietly, voice breaking.

Skye felt cold inside. She’d called May and Coulson ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’ before, when she’d felt very, very little, but not recently, not since her accident. She felt very sad for Jemma, and worried, because if she felt this little now, what would it be like for her later, when the serum really began to take hold?

She shivered. Poor Jemma…

Daddy went over to kneel down in front of her, and Skye thought that was good, because she looked really, really scared. The carnival sounded like fun to her, but she wasn’t sure she’d like it as much if Jemma couldn’t come…

“I know it’s scary, baby.” He said, soft and gently as he opened his arms to her; she crawled into his lap and held fast to his shirt. “And, I won’t force you to go if you’re really too afraid to go. But, You’ll be safe, I promise. We’ll go as a family, and I won’t let anything happen to you. And neither will Mommy.”

Jemma glanced over at May, who nodded at her. Skye knew Mommy could protect her from anything, but sometimes, she thought that maybe Jemma forgot that Mommy was a superhero. Daddy had told her once that he’d wanted her to join the Avengers, but she didn’t; Daddy wouldn’t tell her why.

“You promise nothing will happen?” Jemma’s voice was quiet, tremulous, and she sounded like she might cry; and Skye didn’t want that, because then she’d cry too. At least she was talking in complete sentences now, rather than fragments, and Skye thought that Maybe Daddy holding her made her feel safer.

Daddy kissed the top of Jemma’s head. “I promise. And, we’re not going until tomorrow, anyway.”

Jemma relaxed visibly at that. “Okay…” She leaned against him, resting. It wasn’t long before she made quiet mewling noise, like she was about to cry.

Daddy looked a little flustered after a moment, and he looked at Mommy, something pleading, frantic in his gaze, and his face was a little red.

“Uh, I think she wants you, Mommy…”

Mommy put Skye down and she went to sit with Bobbi; it was only after she saw the damp spot on Phil’s chest that she realized what Jemma had been trying to do—and why Daddy had felt so awkward about it.

Mommy settled on the couch, positioning Jemma in her arms so she could nurse—but she draped a blanket over her, for privacy and modesty.

“Can you get the baby a bottle, Phil?” Mommy asked.

Daddy nodded. “You got it,” he said, and headed to the kitchen.

Bobbi squeezed Skye tight and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Hi, munchkin. You okay?”

Skye nodded and sucked her thumb a little before answering. “I’m good.” She said. “I’m worried about Jemma,” she admitted quietly; she didn’t want to embarrass her friend.

Bobbi bounced Skye gently in her lap; the motion was comforting, a nice distraction from all the confusing feelings she was trying to sort through. “I am too. But, she’ll come around. I think this is what she needs right now, little one.”

Skye frowned. “How do you know?”

“Think of it this way: you know how you get really hungry sometimes?”

Skye nodded, she definitely knew about that. “Uh-huh…”

“And sometimes, if you’re really busy playing, you ignore it, and then your stomach starts to hurt because you haven’t eaten anything for such a long time?”

Skye nodded. That was never any fun, although it happened occasionally, especially if she was playing with Hunter; he was a lot of fun, even if he was a little annoying sometimes.

“So what happens when you eat after that?”

“I eat a whole bunch, and then I feel better…But it makes me poop a lot too,” Skye made a face, and Bobbi chuckled.

“That’s right, you little stinker!” Bobbi tickled her, fingers dancing over her tummy and under her arms, and Skye laughed until she couldn’t breathe, and then Bobbi relented.

“I don’t stink,” Skye pouted.

Bobbi kissed her forehead. “I know, sweetheart, I was only teasing you. Anyway, that’s kind of what’s going on with Jemma.”

“She’s hungry? We have tons of snacks! I’ll go get some!” Skye tried to get up, but Bobbi’s arm tightened around her middle.

“Hold on there cutie-pie. You’re on the right track, but that’s not exactly what I meant…It’s not her tummy that’s hungry. It’s her heart. You see, Jemma’s not always very good at listening to her heart when it tells her that she needs to go to someone for help, or comfort because she’s sad, or scared, or, mad, or upset. So, instead of crying it out or cuddling with me, or your Mommy, or Daddy, Jemma bottles everything up until she’s about to burst. So, she either has a tantrum, or a breakdown, and she feels better afterward, but then the pattern starts all over again.”

Skye sighed. “I wish she wouldn’t do that. It’s not good for her, and it makes me sad when she’s so upset.” Her eyes burned, and she thought she was going to cry, but Bobbi hugged her, resting her chin on Skye’s head, and the burning sensation went away.

“You and me both, kiddo. But she’s getting what she needs right now, and the best thing we can do is be there for her.”

Leo breezed into the room then, dressed in sweats and a baggy Captain America t-shirt. “Is movie night still on?”

Mommy put a finger to her lips. “Shhh,” she murmured, pointing to the lump under the blanket, and Skye guessed Jemma had fallen asleep. She slept an awful lot now…

“It is,” Mommy said. “Why don’t you go make us some popcorn and see if Phil can bring us some drinks.”

Leo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, then nodded. Skye wondered what he was so embarrassed about—nursing was totally normal for her and Jemma, but the thought that maybe it might make him uncomfortable, because he was a boy, and so was Hunter, and neither of them would look at May for too long when she or Jemma was nursing.

“I want juice!” Skye said. “In a bottle, please.” She was a little embarrassed that she’d almost forgotten her manners.

Leo reached down and ruffled her hair, and if she was big girl, she probably would’ve been annoyed, but her hair was always a mess after playtime anyway, so she didn’t mind.

Skye felt Bobbi checking her diaper, and she thought she might be wet, but she didn’t know for sure.

“You’re soaked, babe. Let’s go get you changed and into your jammies before the movie.”

“But,” Skye began to protest but Mommy gave her a _look_.

“Don’t argue baby girl. “ Mommy said. “It’ll be way past your bedtime when the movie’s over anyway. Go and get ready for bed with Bobbi.”

Skye pouted, but didn’t say anything else.

Bobbi scooped her up and carried her back to the nursery, making quick work of changing her diaper.

“You’re getting a rash, honey.” Bobbi clucked her tongue disapprovingly as she rubbed cream into Skye’s butt, sprinkling powder on next.

Skye didn’t say anything. She couldn’t really tell if she was wet anymore, so she just trusted that the grown-ups would check her more often. She was really happy when Bobbi dressed her in her dinosaur onesie after her fresh diaper was on.

The first thing she did when they returned to the living room was to tackle Hunter, chomping down on his arm _very_ gently; she didn’t want to actually hurt him.

Still, he made an appropriate fuss, claiming that he was being attacked by a giant lizard—Skye was obviously a T-Rex, but lizards were cool too.

“Help! It’s eating me! Help!” Lance cried. He flopped bonelessly on the ground, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Skye poked him warily.

“I’m dead,” He explained, opening one eye before flopping over again.

“Dead people can’t talk, silly.” Skye reminded him.

Hunter moved before she could blink, fingers digging into her tummy, skittering over her most ticklish areas.

Skye was laughing before she could help it, and she felt herself wetting a little, even though Bobbi had just changed her a few minutes ago. But, she was little, it didn’t matter.

Leo and Phil came back with drinks and popcorn and snacks, and Skye sucked on her bottle contentedly as the opening credits of _An Extremely Goofy Movie_ began to play.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, this is really just a bridge chapter between the first and second arc of the story. I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	26. Chapter 26

[JEMMA]

Jemma was warm.

Her cheek was resting against something soft and warm and supple, and a little light filtered through the blanket that covered her. She vaguely remembered nursing before falling asleep; Mommy had covered her with the blanket, maybe for privacy.

She blinked slowly, becoming aware of several things all at once: she was wet, extremely thirsty, and whatever movie they’d decided to watch after she’d fallen asleep was over.

“Five more minutes, Daddy,” Skye prodded.

Jemma stirred, the silence that followed the request was unusual, and she poked her head out from under the blanket to see what was happening. Mommy pressed a kiss to her temple, and it made her feel so much safer when she was acknowledged, even if Mommy didn’t say anything.

Coulson looked particularly pained, though Jemma wasn’t sure why—normally he would have just said ‘yes’ even if it was already way past their bedtime.

She looked to Mommy for an explanation, but she was just staring at Daddy, and, Jemma could have sworn, smirking just a little.

“Not tonight, baby.” He said finally. “You’ve been up late for the past three nights already, and it’s way past your bed time now. Maybe another night; you need to get your sleep, or you’ll be cranky.”

“But,” Skye began to protest, bottom lip trembling; Jemma thought that maybe they’d just be crocodile tears if she did start crying. She’d fallen asleep before the movie had even started and she was _still_ sleepy—she had no idea how Skye could possibly have any energy left, she was probably just protesting out of habit, though Jemma was certain that she was going to get herself in trouble if she didn’t stop.

“Skye,” Daddy’s voice was still gentle, but more firm now. “This isn’t up for debate. It’s time for bed. We have a very busy day tomorrow, and I know you’ll want to have lots of energy for the fair,”

“But _you_ get to stay up late,” Skye folded her arms and stared Phil down.

Jemma couldn’t decide whether to admire her bravery or be afraid for her.

“I am an adult, Skye. I don’t need as much sleep as you do. And secondly, I would be very careful of your attitude, young lady, or you’re going to find yourself with a much earlier bedtime in the future.”

_Ooh._ Daddy had called Skye _young_ _lady_ , and that almost always meant trouble. 


“But that’s not _fair_!” Skye protested.

Lance yawned suddenly, loud and obnoxious and quite obviously fake, at least to Jemma’s ears, but Skye seemed very surprised.

“Well, love, _you_ might not be tired, but _I_ am bushed. I’m going to go to bed now.” He said. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Skye bit her lip. “But, you’re a grown-up. Daddy said…”

“He said we need _less_ sleep, not that we don’t need any. I’m sure Bobbi will be the first to tell you that I’m not a very pleasant person to be around if I don’t get enough sleep. I get grouchy, I yell a lot, hog the TV, eat all the candy without offering to share…It’s quite awful, really. Not something you want to see.”

Skye blinked at him. “Really?”

Lance nodded. “Really. And, if I wasn’t broke, I’d bet money that you get pretty grumpy too when you don’t sleep.”

“Maybe a little,” Skye hedged, sucking her thumb a little.

“And, I’m going to need you to protect me from all the creepy clowns at the fair tomorrow, and I can’t have my bodyguard falling asleep on the job.” He poked Skye in the ribs, and she giggled.

The entire speel seemed ludicrous to Jemma, but it must’ve struck a chord in Skye, because she reluctantly allowed Phil to carry her off to bed—and she even apologized for her attitude.

Mommy patted her bottom, and it was only then that Jemma realized that she was wet. The heaviness of the diaper between her legs suggested that she’d wet it quite a bit while she was sleeping, but she couldn’t bring herself to be bothered by it. Eventually, she knew from experience, the diaper would grow cold and uncomfortable, and if she stayed in it for long enough, she’d develop a rash, but it wasn’t unpleasant just now.

“You need a fresh diaper, and then it’s off to bed for you too, little one.” She gently moved Jemma away from her, just enough that she could button her shirt, and Jemma was glad Mommy hadn’t put her down, because she probably would have cried—even though she felt safe, she also felt very little, and she didn’t think she could cope if Mommy wasn’t holding her.

That was unsettling; she couldn’t remember being this clingy before the incident at the mall, Skye had always been the most tactile out of the two of them. She supposed it made sense really, her Mum hadn’t been one to lavish her with hugs, kisses, or any other physical affection unless she was ill or extremely distraught. Little wonder then, that she needed contact so desperately now.

Jemma almost wished she could be angry with her Mum for what she now recognized as emotionally abusing her as a child, but it upset her to think about it, and she had Mommy now, and she was much better than anything Jemma had ever dared to dream she’d have in her life.

Jemma stretched up to kiss Mommy’s cheek, she had to get on her knees to reach; just another poignant reminder of how small she’d become. “I love you, Mama.” She said.

“I love you too, baby.” May gathered her close and stood up. “Let’s go get you changed, and then it’s time for bed.”

Jemma didn’t even attempt to argue; she could barely keep her eyes open as it was. The diaper change barely registered with her, she drifted in and out all through it, and for once she was glad that she was so little, because she didn’t have to feel guilty for not helping. She was so glad when Mommy picked her up again afterwards, she just _needed_ to be held, she couldn’t explain where the hunger for closeness had come from, only that she felt unbearably vulnerable if someone wasn’t holding her close.

She hoped that was only temporary, because she could see it getting in the way of a lot of things, not to mention irritating. But, by the same token, it was nice to be held, safe and close to Mommy, and she’d never been brave enough to ask for this kind of comfort before, so perhaps it wasn’t all that bad.

It dawned on her then, that Mommy was no longer nearby; she was across the room picking out pajamas for Jemma, and she was nervous out of nowhere, which was ridiculous, because Mommy was _right there_. A whimper escaped her, completely without her consent, and Mommy placed a hand on her tummy, like Jemma’d seen her do a lot with Skye during diaper changes. The anxiety she’d been feeling melted away at Mommy’s touch.

“It’s alright, little one. Mommy’s right here.” May said, and her voice was soft and gentle, and soothing.

Jemma was vaguely aware of Mommy putting her in something soft and fuzzy, and the sound of the zipper told her that it must’ve been a sleeper, but she was too exhausted to open her eyes and check. She felt the familiar sensation of her dummy being pressed to her lips, and she opened her mouth to accept it—she couldn’t sleep without it, and she was glad that Mommy had remembered, because she was way too little and way too tired to ask for it like a big girl.

Mommy picked her up again and got into the bed. She kissed Jemma’s forehead, and then she was asleep.

*.*.*.*.

Someone was poking her.

All things considered, there were worse ways to be roused from sleep, and judging by the giggling, Skye was the culprit.

“Jem _ma_ , wake up!” Skye’s voice was quiet, but it was right next to Jemma’s ear, and her breath tickled.

Jemma squirmed. “Go ‘way, Skye. I’m tired. We can play later.”

“But, we’re goin’ to a’ fair today!” Skye’s voice was almost a whine. “And you still need’a eat brea’fast and get changed, and brush your teefs. Come on!”

Jemma reluctantly allowed Skye to drag her out of bed, but Mommy was still sleeping. Jemma thought it was probably best not to wake her up, since she almost never slept in, so she probably needed a little extra rest.

Bobbi was in the kitchen with Phil, and Leo, and Lance; from the smell of things, Daddy had made waffles for breakfast, Jemma’s favorite.

“Good morning, little ones!” Bobbi said, crouching down so they were at eye-level, hugging both of them at once. “Did you have good dreams?”

Skye nodded, and Jemma did too—she hadn’t had any dreams at all, but she guessed that was better than having bad ones.

“Does anyone need a change before breakfast?

Skye shook her head. “Daddy changed me already,” she said.

Jemma nodded sheepishly, and Bobbi scooped her up, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Alright, off to the changing table with you, munchkin. Can’t have you eating breakfast with a wet diaper, now can we?”

Jemma shook her head, even though she thought that it really wouldn’t have mattered if she’d needed to wait, but she wasn’t hungry enough to protest. She was glad when Bobbi unzipped her sleeper though, she’d been getting hot, but she hadn’t said anything because she didn’t want to whine.

“Are you feeling better today, cutie?” Bobbi asked as she cleaned Jemma’s diaper area with a wipe..

Jemma tried not to squirm, but it was hard, because the wipe was really cold. She nodded. She felt less vulnerable, a little more like her big self, but she still felt really little, and she was relieved when Bobbi put her in a diaper instead of a pull-up; she didn’t think she could handle that responsibility.

“Uh-huh,” Jemma replied, lifting her arms so Bobbi could help her with her shirt.

Bobbi kissed her nose. “Good. I don’t like seeing you upset.”

Jemma felt an ache in her tummy then, different from the one that meant she needed to pee.

_Oh no…_

She didn’t want to use her diaper for that, but she didn’t think she could be brave enough to ask Bobbi for help with something so intimate, even though she knew Bobbi probably wouldn’t mind…

“There you are,” Mommy’s voice came from the doorway, she was already dressed, but the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing were very different from the regulation SHIELD uniforms she normally wore. “I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.”

“I was just getting her dressed,” Bobbi said.

“Thanks,” Mommy answered, giving Jemma a knowing look. “I’ll take it from here; we’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

Bobbi nodded, and Jemma wondered how all the grown-ups seemed to be able to have entire conversations without actually _saying_ anything.

Mommy lifted her off the bed after Bobbi left. Jemma was glad Mommy was holding her, because it made her feel safer, but she wasn’t sure it was the best thing for her current situation.

“I have to go potty,” Jemma said in a very small voice.

“Okay,” Mommy replied, kissing Jemma’s forehead. “I’m very proud of you for telling me, sweetheart,” she said as she carried Jemma to the bathroom.

The toilet suddenly seemed like such an intimidating thing, huge and cold and noisy. Jemma still didn’t think she wanted to use her diaper, but she was beginning to understand Skye’s fear; it made her a little nervous too. She took a deep breath and wished she could suck her dummy. She had to be brave.

It was even more mortifying than she’d imagined to have Mommy help her with something so intimate and personal, but she told herself that it was better than using her diaper—she wasn’t sure if she really believed that, but it helped.

Mommy cleaned her up when she’d finished, and helped her wash her hands. “I know that wasn’t easy, baby girl. You were very brave, and I am so, so proud of you.”

Jemma smiled a little at the praise, but she felt much better when Mommy put her diaper back on. She didn’t bother finding pants for Jemma, but Jemma didn’t mind being without pants enough to complain about it. And anyway, the team had seen Skye in just a shirt and diaper more times than Jemma could keep track of, surely it wouldn’t be any different with her.

“Are you hungry?”

Jemma bit her lip. She’d rather have had a bottle of milk, but she knew Mommy would make her eat something regardless. “Do I have to eat big girl food?” she wondered. She was thrilled that Bobbi had gotten her baby food, even though it was a little embarrassing, she felt much better about eating it as opposed to regular food.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Mommy said. “But I’d like you to try eating something with a little more substance later on, okay?”

Jemma nodded and rested her head against Mommy.

She was surprised to find that neither Skye nor Lance had ended up covered in food—yet—and breakfast was proceeding in a relatively civil fashion.

“Good morning, Jemma, did you sleep well?” Daddy asked.

Jemma nodded. “Yes,”

“Good. What would you like for breakfast?”

Jemma swallowed hard; she hadn’t been expecting him to ask that in front of everyone, and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with everyone knowing that she preferred to eat baby food sometimes—it was embarrassing.

“Can I have my bottle?” Jemma wondered.

“Sure. I’d like you to try and eat something too, please.” Daddy said.

Bobbi smiled at her and winked. “I’ve got it covered, Coulson.” She said, standing up from the table to retrieve two jars from the cupboard.

Skye took the opportunity to fling a milk-soaked piece of cereal at Lance, scoring a direct hit, and the wet morsel stuck to his forehead.

“Well,” Hunter muttered. “At least your marksmanship is still top notch.”

Bobbi turned around before he could retaliate and sighed. “I leave you two alone for _ten seconds_ …”

Lance raised his hands in surrender. “It wasn’t my fault—this time. It was a completely unprovoked attack; she blindsided me-“

Bobbi had her hands on her hips, like Mommy did when she was upset, but Jemma thought she looked more amused than upset, like she was trying not to laugh. “Really, Hunter. A _two-year-old_ blindsided you? Maybe you should reconsider field work…”

Hunter shrugged. “She was trained by Agent May; can you blame me? We all know how good she is.”

Bobbi nodded. “True. But, you still got hit by a baby, and don’t even _try_ to tell me that you didn’t at least see her winding up, because then I’d have to call bullsh—you a liar.” She caught herself before she swore.

“We’re friends.” Skye piped up. “Friends aren’t ‘upposed to tattle on each other. We gotta…” she scratched her head absently, thinking, and then her eyes lit up. “Stick it to the man! Hunter says so.”

Everyone turned to look at Hunter.

He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words…”

Jemma risked a glance at Mommy’s face to see how she was taking it all, and was immediately grateful that she wasn’t on the receiving end of the scathing look she was currently directing at Hunter.

“You think?” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“It won’t happen again,” Hunter said, but Jemma didn’t really believe him.

“It had better not,”

Jemma shivered. Mommy was scary when she was mad.

“Do you mind if Bobbi feeds you, Jemma? I need to keep an eye on Skye.”

Jemma nodded and Mommy passed her to Bobbi; she was good at feeding her, gentle and reassuring. She never made Jemma feel bad about needing someone to feed her.

Bobbi kissed her temple as Jemma settled on her lap. “Peaches or applesauce first?” she wondered.

Jemma thought about it. “Applesauce.”

Bobbi kissed her cheek. “That’s what I would have picked too.

It was much easier to eat when someone fed her, and Jemma was really glad that Bobbi seemed to understand that. Sometimes she even made vehicle sounds, which was a nice distraction.

Skye was making funny faces and squirming when Daddy brought the waffles over to the table, and he looked at Mommy expectantly.

“I believe we had an agreement,” Daddy said, and smiled, like he’d won something.

Mommy groaned and looked over at Skye. “You couldn’t have waited until after breakfast?”

Skye just grinned—she must’ve known Mommy was teasing.

Mommy took Skye away to change her diaper, and Jemma finished her applesauce. The smell of the waffles was making her mouth water.

“Can I have one, Daddy?” Jemma asked around her last mouthful of food.

“Of course you can, princess. And don’t talk with your mouth full,” he reminded her gently, but she was still a little embarrassed.

Bobbi cut the waffle into small, bite-sized pieces and fed Jemma—it was delicious, and she realized that she’d almost forgotten what she’d been missing out on. She managed to finish half of her waffle—which was a lot for her—but she didn’t want to be too full for her bottle, so she asked Bobbi to save the rest for later.

“Can I have my bottle now?” she wondered.

Bobbi gave her a squeeze and kissed her temple. “Sure thing, cutie.” She carried Jemma into the sitting room and settled on the couch with her.

Jemma knew how to position herself instinctively now, and she felt so safe now that she had her bottle. Bobbi patted her bottom gently as she sucked her bottle, it was nice, soothing, and Jemma was almost disappointed when the bottle was empty.

“Alright, kiddo, time to go get dressed,”

Skye and Mommy were already dressed when they got to May’s bedroom, and Jemma didn’t really pay much attention to the outfit that Bobbi picked out for her—it was only after she was dressed that she realized that she and Skye were wearing identical outfits. It was cute, she thought.

“You look adorable,” Bobbi said, stepping back to survey her handiwork.

Skye’s smile was enormous. “We match!” she exclaimed, and Mommy scooped her off the bed.

“Inside voices, baby.” She said and kissed Skye’s forehead.

“Sorry,” Skye said, and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

“I’m just reminding you, little one,” Mommy said gently. “I know it’s hard to remember, especially when you get excited.

“Can I have my dummy?” Jemma asked, and Bobbi retrieved it from the bedside table for her. It tasted a little musty, but after a few sucks, the taste went away. She reached for Bobbi, and was delighted when she picked her up; she still hadn’t found the courage to explain to May what was going on as far as her need to be held was concerned, and she was glad that Bobbi knew what she needed without her having to ask for it.

“Ready to go?” Bobbi asked.

Jemma nodded. “Yes,” she replied around her pacifier.

“Can you get the little ones situated in the car?” Mommy asked. “I want to go give the boys a nudge.”

Bobbi took Skye from May, and settled her on the opposite hip from Jemma. “Sure thing.

“Thanks,” Mommy said. “I don’t care how comfortable he says they are, or how distinguished they make him look, Phil is _not_ wearing a suit to the fair.”

 


	27. Chapter 27

[JEMMA]

The car ride to the fair was probably the scariest thing she’d ever had to do—Mommy was all the way in the front seat, and Jemma knew she couldn’t hold her while she was driving. Skye held her hand though, even though they were both in car-seats and had to stretch to reach each other.

Jemma could tell Skye didn’t like being confined to her car-seat; she kept fidgeting, wriggling, trying to loosen the straps. Jemma didn’t mind hers, though. It was comfortable, almost like being held, and besides Skye holding her hand, it was probably the only thing keeping her from having a meltdown. It didn’t help that she’d dropped her dummy, either.

“So, what do you want to do at the fair?” Skye was asking her.

Jemma just shrugged, as long she got to be with everyone, she didn’t care what they did.

“I wanna go to the petting zoo; Mommy and Daddy said there’s all kinds of baby aminal—animals there.”

“Like lions and tigers and bears,” Lance added.

Skye scowled at him, and Jemma almost laughed at her expression. She was trying to be menacing, but mostly she just looked cute. “Shut up. That’s not true…” She nibbled on her thumbnail. “It’s not true, right Bobbi?”

“Right, kiddo. Mostly it’s baby sheep and goats, and other farm animals. Nothing that will hurt you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Skye. Lance is just being an arse.” Leo said.

“Leo!” Bobbi exclaimed, and Daddy turned around in his seat to look at him

“What?” Leo responded

Daddy sighed. “Hunter, be nice to the children, and Leo, watch your language.”

Skye had figured out how to slip between the straps so she could lean further forward and began poking Hunter in the arm. She paused, holding her finger centimeters from his skin.

“I’m not touching you…” she teased.

“Agent May, Skye’s bothering me,” Hunter responded in a petulant voice.

“Hey!” Skye sounded offended, and Jemma wished they would just stop bickering—it was annoying. “No tattling!” she pinched his arm.

“Ouch! No pinching!” Hunter replied, flicking Skye’s foot.

“Since when is that a rule?” Skye’s voice was incredulous. “No flicking!”

“Since when is _that_ a rule?” Hunter replied in an equally disbelieving tone. “All’s fair in love and war, kiddo.” He said.

Skye just made a rude noise and stuck her tongue out at him.

From there, their little tiff degenerated into a war of attrition over who could come up with the most ludicrous funny face/rude noise combination.

“Alright, that’s enough.” May’s voice was calm, but she definitely didn’t sound happy. “Either settle down, or I’m turning this car around.”

Skye and Lance froze. “Okay,” they both said in identically dejected voices.

“And get back in your car-seat, Skye. It’s not safe to play with the straps, you know that.” Mommy’s voice was firm, but she didn’t sound like she was mad.

Skye pouted, but didn’t say anything in response as she put her arms back through the straps properly, though she did look a little annoyed when Bobbi turned around to adjust them so she couldn’t get out again.

“You’re no fun.” She lamented.

“They just want you to be safe, Skye,” Jemma reasoned.

Skye didn’t say anything, just stuck her thumb in her mouth and looked out the window.

“Are you okay, Jemma? You’ve been awfully quiet…” Bobbi asked.

Her diaper was pretty wet, but she didn’t want to announce that to the whole car, so she said: “Can I have my dummy?”

“Of course, baby,” Bobbi rummaged through the diaper bag and took out a clean one, sliding it between Jemma’s lips before putting the one she’d dropped in a separate pocket.

Jemma felt better once she had something to suck on, but she still wished someone would hold her. A tear slid down her cheek without her permission and she turned her head away from Bobbi, hoping she wouldn’t see.

But, Bobbi was a grown-up, so she noticed everything; she wiped the tear away with her thumb. “What’s wrong, little one?” she asked.

“I jus’ wan’ you to hold me…” Jemma replied, hating how desperate she sounded.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart, and then I’ll hold you as much as you want.” Bobbi said, and took Jemma’s hand. It wasn’t the same as being held, but it helped.

Jemma was crying in earnest before it really registered, big, fat tears dripping off of her chin.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bobbi murmured, rubbing her thumb over Jemma’s tiny knuckles. “It’s okay, I’m right here.”

Jemma tried to focus on Bobbi’s touch, to stop crying, but she couldn’t. She was such a baby…

The rest of the trip to the fair felt like an eternity, but the rational part of Jemma’s brain told her it was only a few minutes. Still, she was incredibly relieved to be let out of her car-seat, she latched on to Bobbi with every bit of strength she could muster, at least until Bobbi passed her to Mommy.

“What’s got you so upset, baby girl?” Mommy asked gently.

Jemma sniffled. She didn’t know if she could talk—words felt very far away. “I wish you could always hold me,” she admitted quietly. “I need you to hold me…I…I get really scared when you don’t. I don’t want to be too much work, but I can’t help it. I’m sorry.” Jemma pressed her face into Mommy’s shoulder.

“You’re never too much work, baby. And I wish I could hold you all the time too, but sometimes, it’s not safe, like when we’re in the car.” Mommy kissed her temple, and patted her bottom. “You’re soaked, little one. Let’s go get you changed, today is supposed to be a fun day, and diaper rash isn’t fun at all, is it?”

Jemma shook her head, and balled her fist in Mommy’s shirt

“I’m gonna take these two rascals to the petting zoo,” Bobbi said.

Jemma looked up in time to see Bobbi roll her eyes as Hunter picked Skye up, using the point where her dungaree straps crossed in the back to carry her like a luggage duffel; apparently, Skye thought this was hilarious, if her squeals of laughter were anything to go by.

“They should fit right in,” Mommy replied dryly. “We’ll meet you there after I change the baby.”

Jemma snuggled closer to Mommy when she heard that. Being called ‘the baby’ was an honor that usually belonged to Skye, and, if she was being honest, she got a little jealous of it sometimes. She felt herself relax when Mommy started rubbing her back; she was _so_ little, but Mommy had her, and she knew she was safe.

The baby changing room was empty, thankfully, because Jemma felt a familiar gnawing inside that could only be satisfied if she nursed, and she’d be mortified to do that in front of complete strangers.

“Just a minute, little one. We have to change your diaper, and then you can nurse, I promise.” Mommy said.

A whining, mewling noise escaped her, and Jemma was embarrassed. She’d meant to say ‘alright’ but that sound had come out instead, and suddenly, she felt like she was going to cry again. She wanted to nurse _now_ , and it wasn’t fair that she had to wait—her diaper wasn’t really that wet, she thought, it could wait.

Mommy brushed some of her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. “I know, baby, I know. I just need you to be patient; you can nurse when I’m done, and this will go a lot faster if you hold still.”

Jemma felt embarrassed again, she hadn’t even realized she was squirming. She tried to relax and let herself drift; when she came to again, Mommy was settling into the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

“Can we have one of these, Mommy?” Jemma wondered. Rocking chairs were so nice and safe and soothing, it would have been wonderful if they had one of their own.

“I’ll talk to Phil. I don’t see why not.” Mommy answered as she adjusted her shirt so Jemma could latch on.

Jemma felt a flood of tension she hadn’t even realized she was carrying evaporate once she’d latched on. She felt herself smiling, a real genuine smile for the first time in a long time. The motion of the rocking chair was soothing too, and she felt like, in this moment, nothing bad could happen to her.

“I’ve got you, baby.” Mommy was saying, “I’ve got you.”

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

The petting zoo was crowded.

Skye was glad Bobbi and Lance were there with her; even though the animals at the petting zoo were just babies, like her, they were almost as big as she was, and could easily knock her over if they got excited.

They’d gotten a sleeve of gross-tasting crackers to feed to the animals—Skye had sampled a bite when Bobbi and Hunter weren’t looking, and immediately regretted it; they tasted like an old sock.

One of the baby goats—Bobbi said they were called ‘kids’ which was kind of neat—wandered over and butted against her leg. It wasn’t hard, just a nudge. It repeated the process and bleated at her, which was a little startling, and then it started chewing on her shoelaces.

“Hey!” Skye said. She liked these shoes, especially since Mommy had got them for her, and she didn’t want them to be eaten by a goat…

“That’s not food, silly,” Skye chided the animal, reaching down to scratch its head gently. She fed it one of the crackers, and it really seemed to like it, even though Skye thought they were gross. However, a new problem arose when the kid started licking her hand.

Skye made a face. “Eww,”

“What’s the matter sweetheart?” Bobbi wondered, crouching down beside her.

“It’s licking me,” Skye explained. “It tickles, but I don’t wanna be covered in goat spit for the rest of the day…”

Bobbi chuckled and kissed Skye’s temple. “It’s alright, baby, we’ll wash our hands when we’re done.”

Skye felt a little comforted by that, and moved on feed other animals, but the goat—Boris, she’d decided to name him—wouldn’t quit following her around, butting against her leg and bleating whenever she fed other animals.

“Boris, you have’ta share. You already eated four crackers, and the rest of your friends didn’t get any. It’s not nice to be a hog.”

Boris bleated again and butted her leg, with a little more force than before.

Skye put her hands on her hips. “No, Boris, you’ve had enough.”

“Skye,” Mommy’s voice came from behind her; she was standing next to Bobbi with Jemma in her arms. “He’s just a baby, he doesn’t know any better. You can’t reason with him.”

Skye hurried over to give Mommy a hug. She kind of wanted to ask Jemma to feed the animals with her, but she looked really scared, and Skye didn’t think she would.

“Do you want to feed the animals, Jemma?” She asked, it was worth a try at least.

Jemma nodded slowly, and Mommy put her down, but she immediately grabbed Skye’s hand.

While she was distracted, Boris pulled the sleeve of crackers out of her grasp, spilling them all over the ground.

“Oh, no!” Skye exclaimed, she’d really been looking forward to feeding the other animals.

Some of the nearby animals came running to eat what had fallen on the ground, and Skye took the opportunity to pet some of them, they were all soft and cute, but some of them really needed a bath…

“It’s okay, I have some more,” Bobbi said, holding out another sleeve of crackers.

Mommy put Jemma on the ground next to Skye kneeling down so she could wrap her arms around her.

“Like this Jemma,” Skye said, taking one of the morsels and slowly feeding it to the sheep nuzzling her leg.

Mommy took Jemma’s hand and guided her through the motions until she felt comfortable doing it by herself, though she didn’t seem to happy when the goats started nudging her. She didn’t fall over, but Skye could tell that she was nervous. She was glad Mommy was there to help prop them up. She knew the animals were just playing, but when they got excited, a few of them had been able to upset her balance, and she imagined that it was worse for Jemma, since she was a little smaller.

“Lance, I’d leave the camel alone if I were you…” Bobbi was saying, and Skye turned to look at her.

“Why?” she wondered.

“Because—“

“Bloody hell!” Lance exclaimed, and when Skye looked over at him, he was covered in disgusting, slimy stuff.

Bobbi was giggling a little now. “They spit on you when they get upset.” She explained. “It’s really gross, as I’m sure Hunter just found out.

The man in charge of the petting zoo came over and handed Hunter a towel. “Sorry about that.” He said. “Burt’s got a bit of a temper.”

Lance laughed, but he didn’t sound like he thought it was very funny to be spit on—Skye didn’t think she would either.

Jemma rubbed her tummy absently, Skye saw out of the corner of her eye, brow knitting in something like pain, or distress.

 _Oh_. Skye thought. She didn’t mind pooping in her diaper, but it wasn’t something she thought Jemma would ever do, and she figured that maybe she’d be embarrassed or nervous to ask, since the only thing close by was one of those disgusting portable toilets. Skye thought that using a diaper would definitely be preferable to going in one of those, because they always smelled bad, and were never clean, even for Jemma.

Skye went over to Mommy. “I think Jemma has to go potty,” she whispered, she didn’t want Jemma to overhear and be embarrassed.

Mommy just nodded. “I think you’re right. I’ll ask her if she needs to go, but if she ends up using her diaper, I don’t want you to say anything to her about it, okay?”

Skye nodded. She was a little hurt that Mommy thought she would tease Jemma about something that was a very sensitive subject for her.

“I know you wouldn’t do it to be mean, but I don’t think it’s something she can handle talking about right now.” Mommy said, and kissed her forehead. “You’re a good big sister, Skye. Thank you for watching out for Jemma.”

Skye felt a little embarrassed at the praise, but she smiled anyway. “She’d do the same thing for me,” she said.

“She would. I’m proud of you for trying to help. Do you need a diaper change?” Mommy asked.

Skye shrugged. She was a little wet, and her tummy was starting to hurt a little, but she thought she’d be okay for a little while.

Mommy checked her diaper anyway. “You should be okay for a little bit. Are you hungry?”

“I am,” Hunter said glumly. “I was just assaulted by a camel. I need some comfort food.”

“Oh, quit being such a baby. You knew what you were getting into when you went over there. Don’t whine about it now,” Bobbi scolded.

“Whatever.” Lance replied. “I still want funnel cake.”

Skye grinned. That did sound really good. “Me too!” she said.

“That sounds tasty,” Jemma said. “I’d like some too.”

“Alright,” Mommy said, scooping Skye up. “Let’s go wash our hands, and then we’ll get something to eat.”

*.*.*.*.

[PHIL]

Phil fumbled in his pocket for his wallet. He’d promised Leo an ice cream cone before the boy had gone off to use the restroom, and he’d been hoping to surprise him when he got back.

He knew it hadn’t been stolen from him, his training would have caught that right away.

“Everything okay, sir?” the man behind the counter asked.

Phil nodded. “I just put my wallet in the wrong pocket. Don’t you hate that?”

The man just grunted, and Phil felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Excuse me, mister. You dropped this.” A little girl’s voice lilted.

Phil turned around and knelt down so he would frighten the child, and immediately went cold.

The little girl looked just as surprised as he felt. He could understand why, because he’d recognize her dark hair and dark brown eyes anywhere, though he thought he’d never see them again.

“Agent Phil?”

Phil just stared. “Grace…” He took the wallet from the girl numbly, wanting to draw her into a hug, but unsure whether she trusted him enough to let him. Her eyes were haunted, the vibrance he remembered them carrying was gone burned away by some unspeakable horror.

Grace smiled sadly. “I thought I’d never see you again…”

“I know,” Phil said quietly. “Me too.”

“They told me you were gone…” She was crying, face crumpling, and it was only then that Phil noticed that she hadn’t aged a day since he’d last seen her more than twenty years ago.

“Who did?”

“The people on the island. In Tahiti. You’ve been there right? To Tahiti?”

Phil’s vision tunneled, bile rising in his throat. What had they done to her? He barely managed a nod.

“It’s a magical place,” Grace said wistfully.

“Right,” Phil gritted out. “Magical.”

 


	28. Chapter 28

[SKYE]

Mommy was _crying_ which was really, really scary, because she _never_ cried.

She’d told Skye that they were ‘happy’ tears, so she didn’t need to worry, but she worried anyway—she couldn’t remember ever crying when she was happy…

It was a little bit of a surprise, though, when the little girl called May ‘Mama’. Skye had figured that May and Phil had had other littles before her, and Jemma, and Leo, but to actually meet one of them was another thing entirely.

May and the little girl had stopped hugging, and Skye thought that maybe it was safe to introduce herself. She stepped forward hesitantly.

She was nervous, because the instant May let go of her, the girl folded her arms over her chest, feet shoulder width apart and stared at Skye, almost as though she was sizing her up. If Skye had to imagine May as a child, the little girl before her was pretty much exactly what she would have thought of.

The girl was by no means a grown up, but the way she held herself, stiff, and alert, but looking for threats, danger, not simply looking around for something fun to do, that was scary, because it made Skye wonder what had happened to her to make her so guarded.

“Hi,” she said softly, holding out her hand. She couldn’t really remember why it was important, but grown-ups did it all the time when they met someone new. “I’m Skye.”

The little girl took her hand and shook it, and Skye was glad that she’d known what to do, because it would have been embarrassing to stand there holding out her hand for no reason. The girl was a few inches taller than her, so she had to look up a little to see her face. She had really pretty brown eyes and dark hair like Skye did, but she could tell by the other girl’s size that she was older.

“I’m Grace. It’s nice to meet you! Is Mama your mama too? Are we sisters? What’s your favorite color? Do you-“

“One question at a time, Grace,” Mommy said. “Give Skye a chance to answer you. I know you’re excited to meet everyone, but try to be patient. And don’t bite your fingers.” Mommy gently pulled Grace’s hand away from her mouth and Skye winced at the teeth marks on her skin. That must’ve hurt.

“Um…” Skye sucked her thumb, gathering her courage. “Yes. I call her ‘Mommy’ though, ‘cept when I feel real little, then I call her ‘Mama’ too. Umm, I guess we’re sisters, if we have the same mom; and my favorite color is blue.”

Grace smiled. “That’s great! I always wanted a sister! Is Leo your big brother? I met him already…”

Skye nodded, looking over at Leo who was standing beside Daddy, licking a really big ice cream cone. “Uh-huh. And Jemma’s my sister. She’s older than me, but she’s shy about meeting new people.”

She turned around in time to see Jemma wave from her place in Bobbi’s arms, and then hide her face in Bobbi’s shoulder.

“I am too, most of the time, but Mama’s here, so I know I’m safe.” Grace said, and Skye thought it was nice that someone else understood how important it was to have Mommy close by.

“How old are you?” Skye wondered. “I’m this many,” she held up two fingers. She knew that wasn’t quite right, that she hadn’t always been little like she was now, but it felt too complicated to explain.

“You’re two?” Grace wondered. “That’s cute. I’m five,” she continued, holding up a hand.

Mommy frowned at this, but she didn’t say anything, and Skye wondered what was wrong.

“Have you ever been to Tahiti?” Grace wondered, and Skye felt sick. “It’s a magical place…”

Skye found herself mouthing the words as Grace said them; she’d heard Phil utter them plenty of times in another life. Another memory surfaced then, cold and terrible.

The dark.

Ian Quinn.

GH.325…

Skye shuddered, and realized Mommy was holding her close.

“Shh.” Mommy said, rocking her gently. “It’s okay, baby girl, I’m right here. You’re safe.”

Skye felt better after that, but she was worried about Grace too, because from what she could see over Mommy’s shoulder, she looked like she was about to cry too.

“I’m sorry,” Grace’s voice was watery and broken. She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“S’okay,” Skye told her. “You didn’t know. S’not your fault.”

Grace really didn’t seem all that comforted by Skye’s words, but before she could say anything else, her tummy clenched, and she hid her face against Mommy.

“I think it’s time for a change, baby girl,” Mommy said.

“Make it two,” Bobbi said. Skye turned around just in time to see her kissing Jemma’s forehead, and from how upset she looked, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Poor Jemma…                                                                                                                                                      

Mommy turned to look at Grace.

“What about you, sweetheart? I think now is probably a good time for a potty break, don’t you?”

Grace didn’t say anything, but she took Mommy’s hand.

They’d only been walking for a short time, when Grace gasped and froze on the spot, hands flying to press against her crotch.

“No, no, no,” She murmured, eyes welling up.

Skye looked down and saw the wet stain spreading across her pants, and she felt bad for Grace, because she knew how embarrassing it was to have wet pants in public, even if Mommy was there to make it all better. She thought that maybe Grace needed Mommy to hold her even more than she did, so she reached for Hunter, who took her from May without complaining about her diaper, and for that she was grateful.

“It’s okay, honey. It’s just an accident. We’ll get you all cleaned up, and I even have a change of pants that I think might fit you. I’m not upset, baby, I promise.” Mommy was saying as she lifted Grace into her arms.

Grace wrapped her arms around Mommy’s neck and rested her head on her shoulder. She shifted, trying to suck her thumb, but Mommy said she couldn’t do that until her hands were clean, and then she just cried.

And it wasn’t even the loud kind, it was worse. It was the quiet, private kind of crying, for when you were really, really sad and didn’t want other people to know just how much you were hurting inside.

Skye unclipped her pacifier from her overalls and handed it to Grace—she knew it was really important to have something to suck on sometimes, and she thought that big people just didn’t understand that sometimes.

“Thank you,” Grace said, earnest and quiet before sticking it into her mouth. She seemed to relax a little then, and Skye was glad she’d been able to help.

“That was really nice of you,” Hunter said, after a moment.

“Ew,” Skye said. “You’re getting all sappy.”

Hunter shrugged. “Just saying. It’s nice to see.”

Skye made a face. “Thanks. Can we go back to annoying each other now? This day has been way too emotional.”

“Sure. You stink.”

“Really, Hunter? You’re leading with that? Way to hit below the belt.” Skye scowled. “At least I don’t have a caterpillar attached to my lip.” She muttered.

“Hey! The ladies-“ he paused when Bobbi glared at him. “Ahem _lady_ , love of my life whom I cherish and respect very much, loves the mustache.”

“Nice save,” Bobbi said, patting Jemma’s back.

Skye giggled. “Ooh, you got in trouble…” she sang.

“And Skye’s gonna be in trouble too…” Bobbi sang back. She was smiling, but she was also very clearly warning Skye about her teasing.

She pouted. Grown-ups were no fun.

Lance waited outside the bathrooms while the five of them crowded into the changing room.

Mommy dug through the diaper bag until she found the change of clothes she usually kept there, and handed the pants to Grace, along with a pull-up.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any extra underwear for you, little one. Do you need-“

“It’s okay. I’ll do it myself,” Grace interrupted, but Mommy didn’t scold her for her rudeness, she just nodded and started changing Skye’s diaper. She looked a little sad, but she didn’t say anything else about it.

Skye watched Grace with interest, since Mommy didn’t need her help with the diaper change. Grace’s hands were fast and nimble, and she finished before anyone else, throwing her wet clothing in a plastic bag, and tying it shut with an almost clinical detachment. She slid the pull-up on, and then her pants, though she struggled with the button; Bobbi had finished changing Jemma by this point, and she came over to help Grace.

“Thanks,” Grace said quietly, and then her eyes flickered over to Jemma, who was standing next to Bobbi while she washed her hands, gripping one of her pant-legs tightly. She was sucking her dummy a little faster than she normally did, eying Grace with something like fear.

Grace did a very strange thing then, she sank slowly down to the floor, legs crossed, hands resting palms-up on her knees.

“Hi,” She said in a very soft, gentle voice. “I don’t think we’ve met yet. Can you tell me your name?”

Jemma made a frightened mewling sound and hid her face against Bobbi’s leg.

“It’s alright. I know you’re scared of me, and that’s good. I’m not going to hurt you, but it’s definitely smart to be cautious of people you don’t know. _Доверяй, но проверяй_ _,_ trust, but verify.”

Mommy stiffened. “Who told you that?” She asked, but Skye thought she probably already knew.

Grace blinked, like the answer was obvious. “She said her name was Natasha, but I wasn’t s’posed to call her that. She said you trained her. Is that true, Mama?”

Mommy nodded. “It is,”

Skye’s mouth dropped open, and she sat up straight, even though Mommy wasn’t done putting her clothes back on.

“You trained _Natasha Romanov_?” Skye wondered in a loud whisper.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “I did. Now lie back so I can finish getting you dressed; you can’t run around naked, now can you?”

“Well, technically…” Skye began, grinning big.

Mommy smiled back, and sighed. “You’ve been spending too much time with Hunter.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Skye replied, and returned her attention to the unfolding situation between Jemma and Grace.

Jemma was standing next to Grace now, taller than her because she was sitting, and that’s when Skye realized that Grace had some training too. She had placed herself in a submissive position by sitting on the floor while Jemma was standing, so Jemma would see that she wasn’t a threat.

Jemma took her dummy out slowly, and said. “I’m Jemma. It’s nice to meet you too.”

Grace smiled and opened her arms to give Jemma a hug, and the smaller girl promptly flopped into her lap, arms winding around her neck.

“That’s adorable,” Bobbi cooed, snapping a picture of the two little girls with her phone

“Did you train Grace, too, Mommy?” Skye wondered.

Mommy nodded. “A little.” She lifted Skye off the changing table and gave her a nudge in Bobbi’s direction with a kiss to her temple and a pat to her bottom. “But, that’s a story for when you’re older. Go wash your hands, we’ve got a lot to do before the day is done—we still haven’t gone on any of the rides yet.”

Skye smiled, and scampered off to Bobbi.

Grace went outside with her and Bobbi to meet up with the boys when she was done, and Grace nudged Skye with her elbow.

“Wanna see something funny?” she asked, grinning mischievously.

Skye smiled. She hadn’t known Grace for very long, but she was beginning to like her already. “Sure.”

Grace took Bobbi’s water bottle and unscrewed the cap. “Hey,” she spoke up, pointing at Lance’s shoe. “Your shoe’s untied.”

Hunter crouched down to tie it, at which point Grace upended the water bottle over his head, drenching him.

Skye gave Grace a high-five, giggling hysterically. “That was awesome!”

“Right,” Hunter griped. “Awesome.”

“You know,” Skye said to Grace. “I think we’re going to be good friends.

*.*.*.*.

[JEMMA]

It was all too much.

First she’d had an icky diaper for the first time, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, it had happened in front of everyone, and it was horribly embarrassing. If she’d been at home, she might not have had to use her diaper at all, and even if she had, there were plenty of hiding places she could find, instead of going while Bobbi was holding her, which was probably the most mortifying experience of her entire life.

Then, they’d met Grace, who seemed nice enough, but had clearly been through something awful; the haunted, scarred look in her eyes was scary, and Jemma doubted that meeting someone for the first time in a dirty diaper left the best of first impressions.

And she hadn’t nursed since that morning, and it was making her a little cranky that she hadn’t been able to nurse since then. She thought that maybe she was being a little too needy, especially since Mommy had just been reunited with someone she cared about deeply, but she couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Jemma said quietly as May adjusted her clothes. There wasn’t a rocking chair in this changing room, but there was a small toilet, and May sat on the closed lid while Jemma latched on.

Mommy patted her bottom. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m too much work. I pooped my diaper, and now I’m taking you away from Grace…I’m awful.”

“Oh, Jemma,” Mommy cooed. “You’re wonderful. I don’t care if you decide to use your diapers instead of the toilet, that’s what they’re for. A few more icky diapers doesn’t really make a difference to me. And, you’re not taking me away from Grace. We have a lot to talk about, but that’s not your responsibility, and I don’t want you to worry about it. You and Skye, and Grace, and Leo, you’re all my little ones. And even though I haven’t seen Grace for a long time, I think, right now, you need me more than she does.”

Jemma was quiet for a moment, enjoying being close to Mommy, even though she was sweaty from being outside all day.

“Is she going to come home with us? I don’t think she should be all by herself…”

“Yes, Grace will be living at the base with us. It’s very kind of you to look out for her, Jemma, thank you.”

“I need to do it more. I’ve been way too little lately. I need to be a bigger girl, but I’m scared.”

“There’s no such thing as ‘too little’ sweetheart. I think you were just a little overwhelmed. You do such a wonderful job of taking care of other people, that I think you forget to take care of yourself too.”

“Can I still be bigger if I need you to hold me a lot, and if I need to nurse a lot too?” Jemma wondered.

“Of course you can. It’s like Daddy always says: ‘you’re only as big as you feel’. And I bet you don’t feel very big right now, do you?”

Jemma shook her head, fingers clenching the fabric of Mommy’s shirt. “No…”

“And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.”

Jemma hummed contentedly and rested against Mommy. After a while, May disengaged her, and she whimpered a little, because she wasn’t quite ready to be finished.

“I know, baby, I know.” May rocked her a little, and that helped her not to feel so upset. “You can nurse again later. Right now I need you to drink some water; it’s hot out today, and Bobbi said you weren’t wet when she changed you earlier. I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

Jemma latched on quickly when Mommy pressed the teat of the bottle to her lips; she hadn’t realized how thirsty she really was.

“Easy, little one, you’ll make yourself sick if you drink too fast.” Mommy said gently, rocking her slowly.

Jemma reluctantly slowed down and tried to relax.

“It’s alright, baby girl,” Mommy said. “I’ve got you.”


	29. Chapter 29

[JEMMA]

Bobbi bounced Jemma on her knees as they sat on the bench, waiting for the others to finish on the tilt-a-whirl. Jemma didn’t like rides that spun, they made her feel sick to her stomach if she went on them right after she ate, and they’d just had lunch a few minutes ago.

“Are you okay, babe?” Bobbi asked, brushing some stray hairs out of Jemma’s face.

Jemma wasn’t sure. She was exhausted, and hot, and there were way too many people around. She was a little embarrassed to admit it, but she was actually looking forward to naptime, even though she knew that Skye would probably pitch a fit at having to take one.

At the same time, she was restless, unable to really settle without Mommy there, and upset because she _needed_ Mommy, and Mommy was taking care of someone else and it wasn’t _fair_.

“You look _so_ tired, honey.” Bobbi said, rubbing her back.

Jemma just grunted angrily in response. She wanted Mommy to come back now, and she still wasn’t here.

“Hey now,” Bobbi said gently. “Use your words, baby. Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help if I can.”

“Want Mama,” Jemma said quietly.

“I know you do, sweetheart. She’ll be back soon.” Bobbi soothed, rocking her a little.

“’S not fair.” Jemma said. “She’s going to leave now that she has Grace and Skye. She won’t want me anymore; I’m too much work.”

“That is definitely not true, Jemma. Your mommy loves you very much, just like everyone else in this family. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I think your mommy and Grace got separated a long time ago, and they missed each other a lot. Do you remember how you felt when you thought Skye was getting all the attention, how upset and hurt you were?”

Jemma nodded. It certainly hadn’t felt _good_.

“Now, imagine feeling like that for months, or years, instead of just a few days.”

“That’d make me really sad.” Jemma admitted.

“Right.” Bobbi said. “I know it’s hard, and I know you need your Mommy, but try to think about how she and Grace must be feeling. Just give them some time to adjust to seeing each other again.”

Jemma sighed. “But I need her,” she continued. She normally liked to nurse before her nap, but she couldn’t do that if Mommy wasn’t here…

Leo reached over and patted her back. “I know, bit. And she knows that too. She’s not going anywhere, she just wants to make sure everyone is okay. And you’re here with Bobbi, so she knows you’re okay.”

Jemma didn’t have an argument for that, and she was glad Leo’d stayed with them. He’d said he wanted to let his stomach settle after lunch before he got on any of the rides.

“’M s’eepy.” Jemma murmured, resting against Bobbi.

“I guess it is just about naptime, isn’t it? You can go to sleep if you want, I’ll carry you.”

Jemma felt the tears dripping of her chin before she even realized she was crying. She was _so_ much _work_ ; sooner or later everyone was going to realize that and get rid of her.

Bobbi wiped her tears away with her thumbs. “What’s wrong, cutie? What’s got you so upset?”

Jemma didn’t know if she could talk—words felt too far away; and then she felt even worse for burdening Bobbi with trying to figure out what she needed. She just cried harder, face awash with tears.

Bobbi rocked her gently, and that helped a little, but she couldn’t stop crying no matter what she did. She didn’t even realize how badly she needed her dummy until Bobbi slid it between her lips, and she felt herself calming down.

“That’s it, little one, that’s it. There we go. Shhh.” Bobbi cooed as she rocked her. “Go to sleep, baby, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

And then she was drifting.

*.*.*.*.

[SKYE]

Mommy was changing her diaper when she woke up. The familiar ceiling of Mommy’s bedroom stared back at her as she squinted past the bright glow of the lightbulb.

Skye vaguely remembered the car ride home from the fair, she’d been way too tired to really pay attention. Her skin tingled, itchy and restless, like someone was staring at her, and she looked around the bedroom for the source.

Grace was perched on Mommy’s pillow, dressed in just a pull-up and a shirt—probably because it was so hot outside. She was holding a big plush fish, like the one from _Finding Nemo_ , and sucking on a pacifier.

It was a little jarring to see her that way, especially after how she’d been when they first met at the fair.

Skye couldn’t blame her for wanting to be little at home, she knew how tough it was to be big.

“Hi, baby,” Mommy said softly as she finished taping up Skye’s diaper. “Did you wake up?”

Skye never understood why the grown-ups always asked her that after her naps, but she nodded anyway. She still felt kind of hazy, she couldn’t quite wake all the way up, and she barely helped when Mommy had to put her shirt on for her.

“What happened?” Skye wondered.

“We decided to go back to the fair later in the week when it isn’t so hot out. You and Jemma and Grace were looking pretty rough after lunch, and then Hunter got sick after his third round on the tilt-a-whirl. After that we decided it would be in everyone’s best interest if we came home a little early and did something else.” Mommy explained.

Skye nodded; it made sense, even though she'd been looking forward to spending the whole day there. "Can we watch a movie?"

Mommy nodded and kissed her forehead. "Of course. But if you want to eat popcorn while you watch, you'll have to do it in the sitting room; I don't want crumbs in my bed."

Skye nodded, she didn't think it'd be very nice to sleep with food crumbs in her bed either, and since she shared the bed with Mommy most of the time, watching a movie in the sitting room sounded like a good idea.

"What do you wanna watch?" Skye wondered, turning to Grace.

Grace pulled her paci out of her mouth and pursed her lips thoughtfully. "How about 300?"

Skye thought it sounded familiar, like something Leo would want to watch, but she knew that also meant it was probably really scary. The last movie she'd watched with him had been when she was big, before the accident, Paranormal Activity. It had given her bad dreams for several nights afterward, and her diaper had leaked because she'd wet it so much.

"Grace, that movie isn't appropriate for little ones. It's extremely violent, and it will give you nightmares. You'll have to pick something else."

"But, I wanna watch it!" Grace snapped, slamming her fists into the bed.

Mommy raised an eyebrow. "Do you need to go stand in the corner for some quiet time? I understand that you're upset, but that attitude is not okay. We have plenty of other movies to pick from, do you want to go look at them with Skye and pick one out together?"

Grace hurled her pacifier across the room and glared at May. "No!"

May's voice was calm and even. "Grace, I love you very much, but I'm not going to tell you again: we do not throw things when we are angry. You know better than that--someone could get hurt, or something could get broken. You have a choice now:. You can either calm down, and tell me what you want like a big girl, or you can go stand in timeout corner until you're ready to use your words."

"You can't tell me what to do!" Grace snapped.

"It sounds to me like you've made your decision. Are you going to go to the time-out corner by yourself or do I need to take you?"

Grace just buried her face in the pillow and screamed, kicking and flailing in a full-blown tantrum.

"Skye, go play with your sister, please. Grace and I need to have a talk about her behavior." Mommy said. 

Skye didn't need to be told twice. She climbed down off the bed and scampered off to find Jemma. 

It didn't take her very long.

She was with Bobbi in the sitting room, clad in in just a diaper and shirt, like Skye.

"Hey Jemma," Bobbi began enthusiastically from her place on the floor. She was on her knees, and Jemma was standing in front of her. "Where're your eyes?"

Jemma covered her eyes with her hands. 

"Good job!" Bobbi praised, wrapping Jemma in a big hug before returning to her previous position. "Now, where're your ears?"

Jemma pointed to her ears.

"Good job!" Bobbi beamed and hugged Jemma again.

Skye felt a little jealous of Jemma getting all the attention.

"Okay, munchkin, can you find your smile for me?" 

Jemma blinked, and Skye hid a smile in her palm; she was fairly certain she could guess what was coming next.

"But I don' has a smile..." Jemma shrugged adorably. "I have teefs, see, Beebee?" She smiled to demonstrate.

Skye guessed 'Beebee' was Jemma's nickname for Bobbi. It was kind of cute, and she almost wished she'd thought of it first, but she was glad Jemma was adjusting to being little..

Bobbi gasped in mock surprise. "I think we found your smile..."

Jemma only stared back, lips pursed in confusion.

Without warning, Bobbi lunged forward, tickling Jemma mercilessly.

Jemma dissolved into giggles, squirming and wriggling in a vain attempt to get away from Bobbi's nimble fingers.

Skye valianty attempted a rescue, but was met with a similar fate. She collapsed breathlessly on the floor next to Jemma, who cuddled up to her immediately. It was a little harder to breathe then, but she didn't complain--it was always nice to cuddle with Jemma.

Jemma planted a sticky kiss on Skye's cheek. "I missed you," she said quietly. "You slept for _ages_! And you missed it when Lance throwed up on the clown!"

Skye made a face. "I'm glad I didn't see that. Seeing other people throw up makes me sick too. But I missed you too, Jems." She shifted to get comfortable, and her diaper squished under her; she figured she'd wet it while Bobbi was tickling her.

"Where's Grace?" Bobbi asked.

"She gotted in trouble," Skye explained. "She wan'ed to watch _300_ , but Mommy said 'no'. Then she gotted real mad and had a tantrum, and Mommy sended her t' ti'e-out." Her thumb had slipped into her mouth without her noticing, and she liked sucking it too much to take it out again.

"Your mommy is right. That is definitely not an appropriate movie for little ones. Do you want to watch a different movie?"

Skye nodded.

"Can we watch _Peter Pan?"_ Jemma wondered.

"Sure. Do you need a new diaper before we settle in? You were a little wet after your nap, and it's been a while since then. I don't want you getting a rash, little girl. Your mama would be very cross with me if I let that happen." Bobbi reached for Jemma but she squirmed away.

"Beebee, no," Jemma whined, and it took Skye by surprise, she hadn't expected Jemma to adjust to being in diapers full-time so quickly, but she could understand not wanting to miss out on fun stuff for a diaper change...

"If I don't change you now, then you might leak, and then we'd have to stop having fun to change you; you don't want that, right?"

Jemma shook her head and reluctantly allowed Bobbi to check her diaper; though she seemed a little embarrassed when Bobbi checked to see if she'd pooped.

"You'd definitely have leaked, you're soaked, kid. Do you need a diaper change, Skye?"

Skye shook her head. She was wet, but she didn't think she needed a change since Mommy had just finished a few minutes ago. Plus, her tummy was starting to feel full, and she thought Bobbi might be annoyed if she'd pooped right after she'd just gotten changed...

"Mommy already did it." She said finally.  
"Alright, I'll be back in a minute, don't do anything bad while I gone, okay?"

Skye had been around Lance long enough to perfect his 'who, me?' expression of innocence, and she turned that on Bobbi now.

Bobbi just narrowed her eyes. "I mean it, Skye. You're adorable, and I love you to pieces, bit I will put you in time-out if you misbehave."

"Okay, I'll be good." Skye said, but she stuck her tongue out at Bobbi when she turned around.

"I saw that," Bobbi told her without turning around. 

Skye pouted. How did grown-ups _do_ that?


	30. Chapter 30

  
[MELINDA]  
  
Grace’s posture was rigid, even as she tucked herself into the corner. She was unnaturally still, especially for someone so little, motionless except for the slight shaking of her shoulders.  
  
Melinda’s heart ached for the little girl, but she’d had enough experience, both with Grace, and with her other little ones, to know that she wouldn’t be open to accepting correction until she calmed down a little.  
  
Still, she knew Grace was hurting, although the skill with which she hid it was disturbing.  
  
Even if she wasn’t going to bring up her behavior, Melinda knew that a little reassurance went a long way, especially when little ones were this upset. Usually, an outburst like the one she’d just witnessed was, although unacceptable behavior, simply a by-product of a much larger issue. And, until she figured out what that problem was, Grace’s behavior wasn’t going to get better; not that Melinda could really blame the girl…  
  
“Grace,” she began softly. “I’m here, little one. Mama’s right here. I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
Grace turned around at this, stiff and deliberate, tiny fists clenched at her sides, eyes burning with a tumult of repressed emotions.  
  
“ _You left me_!” she howled. “I needed you and you left!”  
  
Melinda took a deep breath. “I never left you, Grace. I would never abandon you, you know that.”  
  
“But you _did_.” Grace wailed, and burst into tears. “You did, and awful things happened to me, Mama. You promised you would keep me safe…”  
  
Melinda opened her arms to Grace, inviting the little girl in for the hug she so desperately needed, but unwilling to force it on her. She was obviously upset with her, and May knew that Grace might not want her affection right now.  
  
Grace curled into a little ball on her lap, little hands fisting in her shirt.  
  
Melinda rocked her gently. “I know I did,” she said. “And I will keep you safe, I promise.”  
  
“Promise me you’ll never leave me again. I can’t go through that…not a second time.”  
  
May patted Grace’s back. “I won’t. You have my word.”  
  
“Okay,” Grace said quietly. And then: “I’m very sorry I exploded like that earlier. I was out of line; I must have really scared Skye and Jemma…”  
  
Melinda rocked Grace some more. “It’s alright. I’m sure they understand—heaven knows they have their fair share of tantrums. And I forgive you, Grace. I’ll never be upset with you for having feelings, but there are better ways to express yourself than throwing a fit when something doesn’t go your way. I’m trying to teach Jemma and Skye the same thing; don’t worry about it too much. I know it’s tough to keep it together when you have a lot of big emotions like that, just try not to make a habit of it.”  
  
“I won’t.” Grace promised. “I’m hungry.”  
  
Melinda smiled. “Alright, kiddo, let’s go see what we have to eat.”  
  
*.*.*.*.  
  
[JEMMA]  
  
Jemma was curled up on Skye’s lap.  
  
She kept fidgeting, shifting positions, until Skye was holding her, like Mommy held them, and then she finally settled down—she wasn’t really interested in watching the movie anymore, even though she’d been the one to request it. She just wanted to be held.  
  
Right now, she felt like Skye was definitely bigger, even though that wasn’t always true, and she just wanted to be held.  
  
She also wanted a bottle, but words were too hard. She made a mewling noise; Mommy, Daddy, and Bobbi knew what it meant, but she felt bad, because Skye thought she was crying.  
  
"Oh no!" Skye exclaimed, and from the sound of her voice, Jemma could tell she was trying not to panic.  
  
"I sorry," Jemma said quickly, a little alarmed when her words didn't come out properly. "I just wanted my bottle. I didn't mean to scare you." she continued carefully. She felt Skye relax.  
  
"Oh. I can go get it for you, if you want, but I'll have to put you down; you're too heavy for me to carry," Skye said, and she sounded a little sad about it.  
  
Jemma climbed down off of Skye's lap, and she was surprised at how much she missed being held now that Skye's touch was absent. She crawled over and climbed into Bobbi's lap instead, trying her hardest to clamp down on the rising tide anxiety within her at Skye's leaving the room. She knew she was being silly, and, if she was being honest with herself, a little ridiculous; she could still see Skye, even if she was in the other room--there was no logical reason for her to be so upset over such a small thing.  
  
Bobbi pulled her close, wiping tears off Jemma's face with the pads of her thumbs.  
  
"Oh, sweetheart," she said quietly, rocking Jemma a little. "What's wrong?"  
  
Jemma reached toward Skye. "Skye..." she whimpered. She'd meant to say that she missed Skye, but that was all that had come out, which was more than a little unnerving, since they still weren't exactly sure what the serum could do to them.  
  
"She's coming back Jemma, see?  
  
Jemma felt ridiculous. She was so much work, and so needy, and maybe Bobbi wouldn't want to look after her anymore because of that. But, even though she knew she was overreacting, she couldn't quell the raging anxiety until Skye toddled back into the room with her bottle.  
  
The way she was walking made Jemma think that maybe she had a yucky diaper, but if she was being honest, she didn't really care. She just wanted Skye to be close to her again--Skye was the one person who really understood her, who'd been there since the beginning, even before May and Coulson, she'd had Skye.  
  
"It's okay, Jem, I got your bottle, you don't have to cry." Skye said, and handed her a bottle of cool milk.  
  
Admittedly, Jemma felt better once she was sucking on it, cool milk filling her mouth; she hadn't realized just how hungry she'd been--maybe that's why she was so sensitive.  
  
Skye was squirming a little next to her, and the smell that lingered around her confirmed Jemma's earlier suspicions that she had an icky diaper, but Jemma had been around the odor enough times that she could ignore it if she focused on something else, and she didn't want Skye to leave, even if it was just for a few minutes so she could get changed.  
  
Daddy came into the room then.  
  
"Hey kids," he said, and Bobbi made a face, but didn't say anything. "Everything okay in here?"  
  
Skye squirmed. "I need'a get changed, Daddy." Skye confessed.  
  
"Okay," he said, and scooped Skye off the couch. "Let's go get you cleaned up."  
Jemma felt herself whimpering before she could stop it, and she pressed herself closer to Bobbi. She knew Skye would come back, but she thought it would be easier to cope with her leaving if she didn't watch.  
  
"It's alright, sweetheart." Bobbi told her. "I've got you."  
  
*.*.*.*.  
  
[SKYE]  
  
"I'm really worried about Jemma, Daddy." Skye confessed as he finshed changing her diaper. "I think she's getting littler..."  
  
"I think she's just adjusting," Daddy said, and that made Skye feel a little better, even though she wasn't sure that it was true. "She's doing a lot better than she was at first, but you've had a lot more time to get used to being this little. Give her some time, and I'm sure she'll be back to her old self.  
  
"She gotted real upset when I left to go get her bottle from the fridge; she was crying and everything...It was scary."  
  
Daddy pulled her into a hug, and Skye hadn't realized how badly she needed one until then. "I'm sorry you were scared, baby girl. Do you want to go see how she's doing now?"  
  
Skye nodded emphatically, she didn't like to be away from Jemma when she was this upset.  
  
Daddy carried her back to the living room; Bobbi and Jemma were still sitting on the couch, though Jemma seemed considerably calmer than she had been a few minutes ago.  
  
"Look, Beebee, Skye and Dada are back!" Jemma beamed at them, and Skye was glad that she didn't seem so upset anymore--she _hated_ it when Jemma was upset, especially since it made her sad too.  
  
"That's right, baby, Skye and Daddy!" Bobbi smiled and gave Jemma a hug and a tickle; Jemma giggled, and Skye was glad--she didn't think Jemma laughed enough anymore.  
  
Skye went over to give Jemma a hug as soon as Daddy put her down; Jemma   
squeezed back tightly enough that it was difficult to breathe.  
  
"What, no hug for me?" Leo wondered from the doorway.  
  
Jemma scrambled off of Skye and scurried over to Fitz, winding her arms around his legs. He picked her up so he could move, and Skye was happy that she seemed content to let him hold her.  
  
"Hi Leo," Phil said. "Any progress?"  
  
Leo nodded and poked Jemma in the ribs when she started nibbling on his ear.  
  
"I think we're finally making some progress."  
  
"Progress with what?" Mommy wondered, breezing into the room with Grace on her hip.  
  
"The, uh, the serum. I think I've found a pattern. I'll need Skye and Jemma to help me out, if they're feeling up to it."  
  
Jemma nodded. "I'm not sure how much help I'll be, since I can't really use the equipment in the lab..."  
  
"I've got something to help with that," Leo told her, and she smiled, though Skye could tell she was trying not to be too hopeful.  
  
"What do you need me to do?" Skye wondered; she hoped it was something exciting.  
  
"Well, you've got heaps of experience with hacking, and you're much better at figuring out how to crack patterns than I am. So, I need your help to find out how to match the pattern. Once that's done, Simmons will be able to create an anti-" Fitz paused and looked at her, like he was about to say something that had special significance to her. " _Serum_ , and that should stop you from getting any worse. I'll need some time to study the results before we try to reverse the process, but it's a start." he said.  
  
Coulson smiled and clapped Leo on the shoulder. "Great job Leo,"  
  
Leo just smiled sheepishly. "Thanks."  
  
May put Grace down and moved closer to Leo. "Leo...how long has it been since you slept last?"  
  
Leo looked away. "About twenty-seven hours. I'm alright, though."  
  
May just stared at him, lips pressed together firmly. "You look exhausted, kid." She said gently. "I know you're eager to get started on an antiserum, but you've been up for more than a day already, and I don't think it would be wise to go into this with anything less than a hundred percent."  
  
"I can handle it." Leo answered, and May looked less than thrilled with his response. Skye didn't think he'd get in trouble, but she knew that Mommy probably wouldn't let him go back to the lab now that she knew how long he'd been awake for.  
  
Part of her wondered if he had superpowers too, because she couldn't imagine staying awake for such a long time...  
  
"Just because you _can_ do something, doesn't mean you _should_." Mommy said.   
"Let's table this until tomorrow, you'll do much better with a good night's rest. Besides, it's just about time for dinner, and I'm sure the little ones are hungry."  
  
"Yeah!" Skye agreed, her stomach had been growling since the middle of the movie, but she'd been having too much fun watching the movie to ask Bobbi for a snack, and then she'd kind of forgotten about it. But, now that Mommy had said something about eating, she realized how hungry she really was. She looked at Leo, who seemed a little annoyed at being told he couldn't go back to the lab.  
  
"Maybe we can have ice cream and chocolate chip cookies for dessert," she suggested.  
  
"Ooh, that sounds yummy!" Grace agreed.  
  
Leo cheered up a little at that, and Skye was glad; she thought he'd been spending way too much time being grown-up lately. He needed to relax.  
  
"Did someone say 'ice cream'?" Lance wondered, running a hand over his face.  
  
"It's about time you got up," Bobbi grumbled, but she didn't sound upset.  
  
Skye ran over and hugged Hunter's leg. She'd missed him while he'd been taking a nap, Jemma hadn't quite adjusted enough that Skye could convince her to be mischievous, so until that happened, Hunter was her partner in crime.  
  
"Uh-huh," Skye said, and giggled when Hunter picked her up, dangling her upside-down by an ankle.  
  
"I vote we put this one in the pot first if we're having stew. She's trouble."  
  
Skye laughed. "Noo, don't eat me!" she protested, but dissolved into giggles when Lance tickled her tummy.  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake." Daddy said. "Since you're so good with the children, why don't you take them to wash their hands before dinner, while Leo and I set the table. Bobbi, do you mind helping May out with the cooking?"  
  
Bobbi nodded. "Sure thing."  
  
Lance just groaned. "Of _course_ Bob gets the easy job." he muttered.  
  
  



	31. Chapter 31

 [JEMMA]

 

"It didn't even hurt!" Skye proclaimed proudly.

 

Jemma eyed the Big Scary Needle with more than a little hesitation. She knew Skye wouldn't lie to her, at least not intentionally, but even so, it was hard to look at the enormous needle without imagining the awful pain that she would no doubt experience when it was jabbed into her skin.

 

She was glad that Mommy was holding her, that way if it did hurt, and she needed to cry, it would be okay. Jemma was glad that she'd been able to help in creating the antiserum, she just wished there was another way to deliver it instead of injection.

 

But, she knew there wasn't, so she took a deep breath and looked at Bobbi. "I'm ready," she said quietly, even though she didn't feel ready at all.

 

Mommy kissed her temple and stroked her hair. "I've got you, baby," she said.

 

"I'll be quick, sweetheart, I promise." Bobbi said, and knowing that helped, but she was still scared. "On the count of 'three' ready?"

 

Jemma barely managed a nod; she slid her dummy between her teeth and sucked on it, hoping to settle her nerves a little. She wished she could nurse, but she was embarrassed to ask for that with everyone in the room...

 

"One...two..." Jemma tensed.

 

On 'three, however, she felt a sharp pain in her ear, instead of her arm as she'd been expecting.

 

"Ow," she whimpered, reaching up to rub it. It was hot, and it throbbed painfully in time with her pulse.

 

"All done," Bobbi was saying, putting the needle away.

 

Strange, Jemma thought, she hadn't even felt it. "I thought you said you were 'onna put the needle in my arm..." she said.

 

"I did, sweetheart," Bobbi told her gently. "It's all over now; we're all done. No more owies."

 

"Then why does my ear hurt?" She wondered.

 

"Hunter flicked you so you wouldn't feel the needle," Skye supplied helpfully, and Jemma felt a little betrayed--her ear really hurt, and she wondered if the needle might have been the lesser of two evils. "He did it to me, too." She stuck her tongue out at Lance, but Jemma didn't think she was upset, not really.

 

Jemma glared at Hunter. "You're mean." She decided, pressing her face into Mommy's shoulder, hands fisting in her shirt all on their own. It wasn't fair. Mommy didn't even seem upset with Hunter; he and Skye got away with everything. If she'd done that to Skye, she'd have ended up in time-out for sure, and Skye might have tried to shove her. Neither of them were violent by habit, but there had been a few times where they'd been playing, and things had gotten a little out of hand, leading to one of them--usually Skye--shoving the other.

 

"Are you alright?" Lance wondered, and he sounded like he felt a little guilty.

 

Good. Jemma though. He should feel guilty.

 

"I honestly didn't mean any harm..."

 

Jemma huffed. "I'm mad at you," she told him.

 

"That's okay." Hunter said calmly. "You're allowed to be mad."

 

Jemma felt strangely validated at hearing that. It was nice to have her feelings acknowledged and it sounded like something Mommy would say.

 

Jemma 'humphed' anyway, just in case Hunter didn't know she was still mad at him.

 

"Jemma," Mommy's tone carried a clear warning, and that kind of made her mad all over again. "It's okay to be angry, but that doesn't mean it's okay to be rude."

 

Jemma sighed. She knew that, but it was hard to remember sometimes. She pressed her face into Mommy. It might not have been okay to be rude, but that certainly didn't mean she had to be happy about Lance being here. She wished he would go away and let her be.

 

Mommy rubbed her back soothingly. "She's a little cranky today." She sounded almost like she was apologizing for Jemma's  behavior and that was just a little offensive; Jemma hadn't been the one to flick someone else's ear, quite painfully, and completely without warning.

 

"No, I'm not," Jemma murmured, a little more testily that she meant to.

 

Mommy just sighed. "Of course you aren't." she said, but Jemma didn't think she believed her. Not for real.

 

" _I'm not_ ," she insisted.

 

Mommy kissed her temple, and patted her bottom. "It is _so_ time for a nap, baby," Mommy said quietly. "And a fresh diaper; maybe that will help improve your mood."

 

Jemma grunted. She wanted to disagree, but she knew Mommy wouldn't like it if she argued.

 

It was especially unfair, she thought, that none of the grown-ups seemed to be worried about Skye or Grace being put down for a nap...

 

Jemma sighed. "I'm not even tired, Mama. I don't need a nap..." she thought that maybe she'd given herself away; she had to stifle a yawn while she said it, so that wasn't completely true, and anyway, Mommy never liked it when the little ones whined. That, Jemma thought, made her cross faster than anything else.

 

"I'll make you a deal, Jemma." Mommy said quietly. "If you can go down for your nap without anymore fussing, you can stay up for an extra half-hour tonight. But, anymore grumpiness, and it's back to your regular bedtime. How does that sound?"

 

"I'm not sleepy, Mama," Jemma protested. She hoped Mommy didn't think she was whining...

 

"I'll get you a bottle, and we'll cuddle in bed and read a story, hmm. And we'll see how you feel after that."

 

That sounded like a nice compromise, mostly because Jemma was sure that she'd be able to stay awake.

 

However, once she was cuddling with Mommy in bed, warm and safe, the words of the story washing over her as she sucked her bottle, it was much harder to stay awake than she'd anticipated.

 

She pressed herself closer to Mommy.

 

"Patience, baby," Mommy said and gently eased Jemma's head away from her breast; Jemma felt embarrassed at the damp spot on her shirt. She adjusted her clothing so Jemma could latch on, patting her bottom gently while she nursed.

 

Jemma felt her eyes drifting shut without her permission, and she gave up on fighting sleep.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

Jemma woke up later, she couldn't tell how long she'd been asleep. There was a familiar pressure in her tummy, and walking to find a grown-up to take her to the potty somehow seemed like too much; she hated walking around the base by herself...

 

She knew, however, that if she was awake, it probably wouldn't be long before Mommy came in to get her up, and while she was okay with using her diaper instead of the potty, she was definitely not okay with people watching her when she needed to go.

 

So she got out of the bed and tucked herself into the small space between the bed and the wall. It was safe, cozy there, and she could relax enough to let go.

 

The bedroom door swung open just after she'd settled , and Jemma was very glad that she'd moved.

 

"Jemma?" Mommy's voice was gentle, but loud enough that Jemma could hear her.

 

Jemma heard footsteps, and then Mommy was looking down at her, and she was embarrassed. She hadn't quite finished yet, and she'd been trying not to make any noise, but apparently she hadn't been as quiet as she thought...

 

"Do you need some privacy, baby?" Mommy asked, and Jemma nodded hard.

 

"I'm going to go get you a clean diaper and the wipes, okay? I'm coming right back." Mommy told her, and Jemma felt comforted by that. While she definitely wanted privacy, it helped to know that Mommy wouldn't be gone for long.

 

Mommy came back after a few moments and laid Jemma carefully down on a mat on the bed.

 

"What's this, Mama?" Jemma wondered, it felt a little like plastic, or rubber, and she couldn't figure out what it was without moving around.

 

"It's a changing pad, honey; it helps to keep the bed clean." Mommy explained.

 

Jemma nodded; it made sense, she wouldn't want anything yucky in her bed either. "Can I have my dummy, Mama?"

 

"Sure, sweetheart," Mommy said, and slid it between her teeth. "Now, let's get you clean."

 

[SKYE]

 

"Whoa!" Skye exclaimed as she watched Grace training in the gym. She reminded Skye a lot of Mommy, even though Skye thought she was too little to know how to fight so well, and it was sad that she didn't have anyone to keep her safe before now.

 

Her stance on as she circled the punching bag, however, gave Skye a funny feeling in her tummy, almost like she was going to throw up, and she was a little scared. Her instincts were screaming at her that she'd seen that style before from a very bad person.

 

"Who..." Skye swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "Who taught you how to fight like that?"

 

"Mommy did." Grace said. And just as Skye began to let out a sigh of relief, she added: "And Grant."

 

"Grant..." Skye hedged carefully. She tried to relax, to tell herself that there were lots of people named Grant, and that just because Grace knew someone with that name, didn't mean he was _their_ Grant.

 

"Yeah, Grant Ward. And somebody named Mr. Garrett. I didn't like Mr. Garrett though. He was creepy."

 

Skye swallowed hard. She wanted to cry, to curl up in a corner somewhere and scream until Mommy or Daddy came to find her, but she knew she had to be brave, at least for a little bit longer. "Oh...I'm gonna go get changed. I pooped." She hadn't, but it was the only thing she could think of to say to make sure Grace wouldn't follow her.

 

Grace gave her a skeptical eye, but didn't say anything.

 

Skye walked as calmly as she could to the door, and started sprinting as soon as she turned the corner.

 

_Maybe I'll just take what I want..._

 

_I'm not a good man, Skye..._

 

Skye was so terrified that she ran headlong into Mommy.

 

Mommy pulled her close, whispering soothing words to her, rocking her gently.

 

"What's wrong, little one? You're shaking."

 

Skye took a deep breath. "She's HYDRA, Mommy. Grace is HYDRA."

 

"Slow down, baby. Breathe. That's it, shhh." Mommy said, holding Skye close, fingers stroking her hair.

 

Skye shuddered.

 

"What makes you think that, Skye?" Mommy asked, settling on the floor, and pulling Skye into her lap.

 

"She knows Ward, Mommy, and Garrett. She said they helped her..."

 

"That would be scary to find out baby. You did the right thing by coming and telling me right away. You're so brave," Mommy hugged her then, and Skye tried to focus on the sound of Mommy's heartbeat, constant and steady and soothing.

 

"But, just because she knows them, doesn't mean she's HYDRA. I definitely think that Daddy and I should talk to her about all that though."

 

Skye held on tighter. She needed Mommy, she didn't want her to go away, even if she had to do something really important, because she felt way too little to handle being by herself.

 

"Don't go, Mommy," Skye pleaded, face wet with tears. "Don't leave me,"

 

"I haven't gone yet, sweetheart. And you know I would never leave you for good. It's just that sometimes, I have to work, and I can't always take you with me, as much as I'd like to. I love you very much, baby."

 

"I love you more, Mommy," Skye answered.

 

"I don't think that's possible. Maybe it's a tie?"

 

Skye nodded and put her thumb in her mouth, sucking softly while Mommy rocked her.

 

"Can't Bobbi talk to her instead? She's really good at 'terrogating peoples. She said so."

 

"She is very good at that." Mommy agreed. "But, Grace doesn't know Bobbi very well, and she might not have any connection to HYDRA. I think it would be better if Daddy and I talked to her. She'll be more comfortable then."

 

Skye guessed that made sense, but she wasn't very happy about it. She realized she was nuzzling at Mommy's breast, and she hadn't done that in a long time, although now she realized that she really, really needed to nurse.

 

"Mommy..." she said quietly. She was afraid to ask, afraid that Mommy would tell her that she needed to go talk to Grace with Daddy, and Skye would have to wait. She started to cry then, mostly because she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it if that happened.

 

"Shh," Mommy whispered, rocking her a little. "It's okay, little one. I'm right here. Why don't we go sit on the couch and you can nurse and rest for a bit. You look exhausted, baby."

 

Skye didn't even have the energy to protest that she wasn't tired. She pressed herself closer to Mommy and let herself be carried away.


	32. Chapter 32

[JEMMA]

 

"Be gentle, Hunter. She just finished eating her snack." Bobbi was saying, as Hunter dangled Jemma upside down by ankle.

 

"Bambi!" Jemma insisted through her giggles.

 

"Football!" Hunter replied, tickling her again.

 

"Let her watch Bambi, Hunter. It'll be dinnertime soon anyway."

 

Jemma pouted, but didn't say anything. Hunter turned her right-side-up again, and she rested against him, dizzy from having spent so much time upside-down.

 

"The only good part of that movie is the beginning. That's some good eating." Hunter grumbled.

 

"That's horrible!"Bobbi scolded. "Don't say things like that around the baby. You'll scare her."

 

Jemma felt her eyes welling up when she realized what he was talking about. "You don't mean that...Right?" She sniffled. "They didn't...eat Bambi's mama, did they?"

 

Hunter nodded. "Not in the movie, but I would imagine that's what happened. That's where meat comes from."

 

Jemma pressed her face into Bobbi's shoulder. If that was where meat came from, she wasn't sure she wanted to eat it anymore; it was too sad, she didn't think she'd be able to enjoy it now that she knew how it was made...

 

"That's not true, Beebee, right? That isn't where meat comes from..." Jemma wondered.

 

Bobbi rubbed her back then, and she felt a little better. "Not all meat, like the kind you get at the grocery store, but some does."

 

Jemma burst into tears--she couldn't help it, that was such an unbearably sad thought. "I'm never eating meat again!" She declared.

 

"What's this now?" Mommy came into the room with Skye and Grace, and she didn't look too happy about the unfolding situation. "What happened?"

 

Jemma felt, rather than heard, Bobbi sigh.

 

"Hunter told Jemma that Bambi's mother was killed for food, and now she doesn't want to eat meat." Bobbi explained. And then, more quietly, she said: "Poor thing. As if we didn't have enough trouble getting her to eat already..."

 

Jemma felt guilty at hearing that. She didn't mean to be so much work,but she couldn't help it sometimes. She was such a baby....

 

Her stomach grumbled then, and she realized that she really wanted a bottle, but now didn't really seem like a good time to ask for one, since Bobbi  and Mommy were both glaring at Hunter.

 

"Well, as far as I'm concerned, unless Jemma starts eating meat again, then it's off-limits to you as well." Mommy said, and Hunter just looked horrified.

 

"You can't be serious..." he protested, and Jemma almost felt sorry for him.

 

"Maybe next time you'll think before you speak," Mommy replied, and turned to Bobbi. "Could you give me a hand  with dinner? I've never been very good at cooking those bacon-wrapped steaks that Coulson and Fitz like so much..."

 

Bobbi grinned. "Sure thing,"

 

Over Bobbi's shoulder, Jemma saw Hunter's mouth drop open as they turned away. She giggled at his expression.

 

"Bloody hell," he muttered.

 

"I heard that," Mommy said.

 

Hunter sighed. "I know, I know, I'm going." He said as he fished his wallet out, and trudged into the kitchen.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

It was only when Grace picked Skye up off the floor, that Jemma realized something was different about her.

 

"Did you grow?" Jemma wondered, though she felt a little silly for asking, Mostly because it was obvious; yesterday Grace and Skye had been almost the same height, and now Grace was head-and-shoulders taller than Skye.

 

Even so, Jemma thought she still looked awkward holding Skye like that, a kid playing at being a grown-up.

 

Grace nodded. "I was in the lab with Fitz yesterday, and we discovered something interesting. The reason we've been having so much trouble finding a solution that fits is because the serum is tailored to you specifically."

 

Jemma felt hurt, and a little betrayed that Fitz hadn't come to her with this discovery. They were best friends, partners, or at least that was what she'd thought. Now, she wasn't so sure...And, it hadn't escaped Jemma's notice that Grace hadn't offered an explanation as to why she was so much bigger.

 

However, her curiosity won out over her emotions; she'd talk to Fitz, and, as long as she was being honest with herself, have a good, proper cry about the whole situation, later.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Grace sighed and shifted Skye to her other hip. Skye was really squirmy, which was unusual, because she liked being held, and it made Jemma think that Skye was uncomfortable with Grace holding her.  "I mean, that whoever did this to you is targeting you specifically."

 

Jemma swallowed hard. That meant that Ward was coming after them. In all honesty, it really wasn't all that surprising, but that didn't make it any less scary.

 

"Did you tell Mommy?" Skye wondered.

 

Grace shook her head. "I was just on my way to do that now."

 

Skye squirmed a little then. "Can you put me down? I want to stay with Jemma."

 

"Sure thing cutie." Grace said, and set Skye down on the floor. "Behave yourselves," she admonished, like she was a grown-up, like she was in charge, and Jemma wanted to tell her to stop being so bossy, because she definitely wasn't, especially since Jemma could see that she was still wearing a pull-up. But, she lost her nerve and settled for giving her a dirty look as she walked out of the room.

 

Skye scowled at the space she'd vacated. "She's up to something...I don't trust her." she said.

 

"What do you mean?" Jemma wondered. Grace certainly seemed nice enough, even though it was a little jarring that she'd grown so much literally overnight...

 

"I mean, think about it: I've been little for a little more than two months at this point, and as far as I know, Banner and Stark, and you and Leo have been working on a cure this whole time."

 

Jemma nodded absently, and put her dummy in her mouth, eternally grateful for the clip Mommy had got for her.

 

"Doesn't it seem a little odd that she suddenly found a cure overnight, and didn't bother to tell, let alone help, you or me?"

 

Jemma squirmed a little, her tummy tight and anxious. "It does seem a little odd."

 

Skye put a hand on her arm then, gentle and cautious, like she was afraid she was going to break Jemma. "And, you know Fitz would have needed your help. He's really smart, but you understand biology better than anyone on the team."

 

Jemma smiled, but didn't say anything; Skye was starting to scare her.

 

"Speaking of Fitz, I didn't see him at breakfast, or lunch, and he never misses a meal."

 

"Maybe he's in the lab?" Jemma suggested, and it was a completely plausible explanation; both of them had fallen asleep there before, and it was much less scary to think about than the possibility of Grace being a traitor.

 

Skye nodded. "I haven't had a chance to go see yet. Grace has been following me around all day. She won't leave me alone."

 

"I hate to be the one to point this out, but you are rather small at the moment. People generally don't allow small children to roam freely...especially if those children happen to still be in nappies." Jemma told her.

 

Skye scowled, and Jemma really hoped Skye wasn't mad at her. "You're one to talk," Skye griped, and the comment stung more than it should have. Jemma honestly hadn't meant to end up in nappies, it'd just sort of happened. She understood now, why Skye said they made her feel so safe, and she wasn't sure she could give up that extra security. She didn't want to cry, but she felt her eyes welling up anyway. She turned away so Skye wouldn't see her crying, and she put her paci in her mouth to try and muffle the noise.

 

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and then Skye was resting her chin on Jemma's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jems. I didn't mean it, I'm just frustrated." Skye leaned around and peered at Jemma's face, though now she was practically laying on top of Jemma.

 

"Skye," Jemma began, struggling to support Skye's weight. "You're squishing me," with that she tumbled to the floor, both her and Skye ended up in a heap on the floor.

 

"You two okay?" Fitz wondered, crouching down next to them.

 

"Fitz!" Skye scrambled off of Jemma, knees digging painfully into her back. Jemma rolled over just in time to see Skye barrel into Fitz, arms winding around as much of his torso as she could manage.

 

"Uh, it's nice to see you too...What's wrong? I just fell asleep in the lab, that's all." Leo caught Jemma's eye and motioned for her to join the hug. Leo was warm and safe and Jemma didn't want to move, but it was Skye who broke the silent, comfortable intimacy of the moment.

 

"Were you...did you really find a cure?"

 

Leo sighed, gritted his teeth, and rolled his eyes. Jemma was suddenly very afraid.

 

"We have something," Leo said hesitantly. "I'm not entirely sure it works; Grace doesn't really understand biology, and I'd really rather have you look over it before we test it on anyone..."

 

Skye stiffened next to Jemma, her body rigid and alert. "You didn't give it to her?" She wondered, and Jemma's stomach lurched sickeningly as the implications of Skye's question began to sink in.

 

Fitz blinked, eyes as round as dinner plates. "No, of course not."

 

Jemma felt cold, and tingly all over, her stomach an aching coil of distress. She swallowed hard and sucked her dummy a little while she gathered her courage. And then, she said:

 

"Fitz, I think we need to get Mommy. Now."

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[SKYE]

 

"So...Grace has powers?" Skye wondered.

 

Mommy nodded. "She can heal people. I didn't know that she could use her powers on herself, but apparently, she can. That's why she isn't so; little anymore"

 

Skye pressed herself a little more tightly into Mommy's side; Jemma was in her lap, and she looked like she wanted to either cry, or throw up, and Skye thought it would be mean to make her move when she so obviously needed to be held--even though Skye really wanted to sit in Mommy's lap.

 

"But, why didn't she help us?" Skye wondered. She wasn't really sure that she wanted to be big again, if she was being honest, but the fact that Grace, while fully capable of doing so, didn't offer to help them, and her previous association with Ward and Garrett, made her more than a little uneasy.

 

"Using her powers makes her really tired," Mommy explained. "When I first met her, she slept for two days straight after she used her powers."

 

"She didn't look sleepy to me," Skye grumbled. She didn't understand why Mommy didn't seem anywhere near as skeptical as she was.

 

"Skye." Mommy's voice was firm now, warning her that she'd be in trouble if she didn't let the subject go. "She agreed to have Daddy and I question her after being injected with truth serum. If she was hiding something, we'd have found out about it. I know it's scary to be around new people sometimes, baby. But, I need you to trust me."

 

Skye put her paci in her mouth, sucking gently, hoping to find solace in the gentle rhythm.

 

She felt so conflicted; she knew Mommy would never put her, or Jemma, or Leo in harm's way, but it felt like that was exactly what was happening, and she had no idea how to fix it. She was sad and terrified and anxious and upset all at once, emotions churning in her stomach like a bad serving of shellfish.

 

She stiffened. "Fine." And then, she turned on her heel and left the room.

 

"Thkye, wait," Jemma's lisp only got really pronounced when she was really upset, and Skye felt a little guilty for being the cause of it.

 

"Not now," Her voice was rough, harsher, harder than she meant it to be, and Jemma recoiled, eyes wide and scared.

 

"I sorry," Skye sighed; she was the same way, and now it was clear to everyone how upset she was. "I just need a few minutes to think." She confessed. Really, she wanted to punch something, or scream herself hoarse into a pillow, but she wouldn't say that out loud.

 

Jemma's eyes were already welling up with tears. "Don't go, Skye. Don't leave."

 

Skye felt like she'd been sucker punched--the pain was emotional rather than physical, and she wondered if this was how Mommy felt when she begged her not to leave before a mission.

 

"I'm not going forever. I just need a few minutes. I'm coming back." Skye told her.

 

"Promise?" Jemma asked, her expression skeptical.

 

Skye nodded. "I promise." She gave Jemma a little wave and then left the room. She wandered for a little while, and ended up on the couch in the empty living room.

 

The big smiley-face pillow that Daddy had gotten for Leo was on the couch, but Skye thought Bobbi probably liked it more than Leo did. It stared at her, almost mocking her inner turmoil with its ever-present grin.

 

"What are you looking at?" She snarled, and punched the pillow as hard as she could. It was almost as though a dam had burst inside her, and suddenly it was too much and then she was kicking and flailing and screaming into the pillow and crying.

 

She was still on the couch, tired out  and clinging to the stupid pillow like a life preserver, when Bobbi found her.

 

Bobbi sat down next to her and pulled her into her lap, pillow and all.

 

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" She asked, rubbing Skye's back.

 

"Nothing," Skye responded, even though that wasn't really true, she just didn't want another person to tell her that she was being overly sensitive about the newest member of their family.

 

Bobbi shifted, patting Skye's bottom instead; her diaper was really wet, but she couldn't find it in herself to be bothered about the fact that she hadn't noticed.

 

"Nothing, huh? That was an awful lot of crying over nothing, little one. I won't force you to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to talk about it but I think it might help."

 

Skye sucked in a deep breath, unsure if she wanted to tell Bobbi what was bothering her--but she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep everything bottled up; she didn't know how Mommy and Jemma could do it at all.

 

"I'm worried that Grace might be up to something bad," Skye confessed. "I can't really explain why, it's just a feeling. But, every time I try to talk to Mommy about it, she tells me to stop worrying about it. I'm trying, but it's hard."

 

"Is Grace normally in the room when you try to talk to Mo-Agent May, about it?" Bobbi wondered.

 

Skye shrugged. "Sometimes,"

 

Bobbi nodded. "I think that might be your problem. If your mommy suspects something, she wouldn't want Grace to know about it. If she's not doing anything bad, it could really hurt her feelings, and if she is then the last thing we want is for her to know that we're on to her...I've got the same feeling, little one. I can't put my finger on it yet, but she's definitely up to something."

 

Skye curled closer to Bobbi. "Thank you for listening,"

 

Bobbi kissed her temple. "That's what big sisters are for, cutie. Now, let's go get you a fresh diaper; you're leaking on me." Bobbi laughed a little. "And it should be time for supper soon anyway. We're having steak."

 

"Yum! I bet Hunter's really happy about that!"

 

Bobbi snickered. "Well, he would be, but he's not allowed to eat meat right now. He told Jemma what happened to Bambi's mommy, and she doesn't want to eat meat anymore. So, now Hunter can't eat meat until she does."

 

"That's awful! It's the circle of life! We're _supposed_ to eat meat. He's gonna be so grumpy...We should sneak some to him." Skye proposed, her mouth was already watering in anticipation of dinner.

 

"You think so?" Bobbi wondered.

 

Skye nodded. "Definitely."

 

Bobbi nibbled on her bottom lip. "I'll see what I can do. For now, let's go get you cleaned up."

 

Skye smiled, and let Bobbi carry her away.


	33. Chapter 33

[LEO]

 

"No! Absolutely not! That was not part of the plan, and you know that! Just because you didn't have the stones to stand up to him on the numerous occasions that you could have, doesn't mean that you're absolved of the awful things you've done to these people..." Grace sounded angry.

 

Leo paused in the hallway, pressing himself against the wall as he listened.

 

"Give it a rest, Grant. We've all had traumas. I'm not belittling yours, I'm just saying that no one else became a psychopathic murderer because of them. You only have yourself to blame for that...Well, Mo--May is right. Look, I know you miss everyone, but you put yourself in this position, and it's going to take some doing on your part to get out of it."

 

Leo clamped down on the rising tide of panic inside himself.

 

As long as he was being honest with himself, he was terrified of running into Ward again. Even with his new repertoire of skills, he wasn't confident that he could beat Ward if it came down to a fight.

 

But, he had a responsibility to protect the people in his family, and he couldn't do that if he was too busy panicking to think clearly. He took a deep breath.

 

"Look, fine. Just not during the day...Alright."

 

There was a click, and that was all Leo lingered around to hear.

 

He had to get May.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[JEMMA]

 

Jemma felt safe, curled up on the couch with Bobbi. She was in Bobbi's lap, and Skye had tucked herself into Bobbi's side, tiny fingers wrapped around Bobbi's own.

 

Jemma thought that maybe Bobbi was sleepy too, because she kept yawning and nibbling her finger absently.

 

She wondered if maybe Bobbi had a little side too, because she didn't argue when Mommy told her not to bite her fingers, she just blushed and started playing with the hem of her shirt instead.

 

Mommy kissed Bobbi's temple,slowly and gently, so she could move away if she felt uncomfortable but she didn't. Jemma was glad; she didn't think Bobbi let herself be looked after enough. She'd gotten into a fight with Ward, and she'd been hurt badly.

 

She'd only recently been cleared for field work again; going out to find Ward after Skye's incident had been her first real mission back in the field. Jemma worried about her a lot; she didn't know what she would do if something happened to Bobbi, and she knew Mommy and Daddy worried about her too, even though they didn't talk about it much.

 

"How are you doing, kid? Does your leg hurt?" Mommy asked.

 

Bobbi frowned. She'd been limping a lot, and Jemma had tried not to need to be picked up a lot because she didn't want to hurt Bobbi.

 

"It's not that bad," Bobbi said, but Jemma thought that it probably hurt a lot more than she wanted to admit out loud.

 

"Do you need painkillers?" Mommy was asking. She smoothed Bobbi's hair.

 

Bobbi shrugged.

 

"I'll be right back," Mommy said. "Naptime when I get back, little ones."

 

Jemma was sleepy, so she didn't argue, and she realized how tired Skye must've been when she didn't even offer a token protest.

 

Mommy came back with a glass of water and a bottle, half-full of juice. She put the water and pills on the lampstand where Bobbi could easily reach them.

 

"I'll be back to check on you after I get the little ones settled, okay?"

 

Bobbi just nodded, and Jemma made sure to give her an extra-tight hug before Mommy carried her away, because she looked like she really needed it.

 

Bobbi just smiled. "Have a good nap, little ones," she said.

 

Skye was mostly asleep when Mommy laid her on the bed to change her diaper; getting changed woke her up enough that she was able to get her naptime bottle from Mommy. She made a happy mewling noise when Mommy gave it to her, almost like a kitten, and Jemma was glad that Skye was so happy.

 

Mommy changed her next, and she hadn't known that she'd been wet, but somehow, it didn't matter to her that she hadn't known, even though her big self would have been upset.

 

Afterward, Mommy helped Jemma settle into her arms so she could nurse.

 

Jemma latched on, suckling gently, clinging to Mommy. The rhythm was safe, and soothing and peaceful, but Jemma found herself wondering why no milk was forthcoming. Mommies were supposed to have milk, weren't they? That was what Bobbi had told her...

 

Jemma pulled away.

 

"What is it, little one?" Mommy asked.

 

Jemma felt hesitant, like maybe there was something personal or inappropriate about the question she was about to ask, but the words were spilling out of her anyway.

 

"Mama? Why you no have milk?" She knew that something wasn't right with how the words had come out, but she knew Mommy would understand her.

 

Mommy made a funny noise, like she was laughing and coughing at the same time, and it was a little scary.

 

"Mama 'kay?" Jemma wondered.

 

Mommy pulled her close, and Jemma was glad, because she didn't know if she could ask for a hug, even though she really needed one.

 

"Mama's okay, little one. I'm just a little surprised, I didn't think you'd want any. And anyway, I'm too old to have milk without taking medicine for it."

 

"You're not old," Jemma said quickly.

 

Mommy smiled and kissed her forehead. "You're so sweet, little one. If you want to nurse for real, I don't mind, but you'll  have to wait a little while."

 

Jemma blinked. "Why?"  

 

"Well, you know how if you have an upset stomach, or a headache, and you have to take medicine, you don't feel better right away?"

 

Jemma nodded; she knew all about waiting for medicine to start working.

 

"This medicine works the same way, and I don't have it yet, so I need you to be patient for a little while.

 

Jemma squirmed. Being patient was hard, and boring; but, she wanted to be good for Mommy.

 

"Okay," she said finally. And then: "I need my dummy."

 

Mommy kissed her forehead then, and then slipped her dummy between her teeth before laying her gently down next to Skye.

 

"I'll be back in a little while, sweetheart. I love you."

 

Jemma's eyes felt impossibly heavy. "I love you too, Mama," she said, and then she was drifting.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[MELINDA]

 

Bobbi was curled up on the couch under a heavy blanket; Melinda was happy to see that she'd at least taken the painkillers she'd left for her.

 

"Hey, kiddo," she said softly, taking a seat next to her. She rubbed Bobbi's back gently, hoping to soothe her; she could tell by the tenseness of the muscles under her fingers that Bobbi was upset.

 

Bobbi reached up and took Melinda's hand, tentatively, carefully, almost as if she was afraid of rejection.

 

"Mommy..." She said, so quietly that Melinda almost didn't hear her.

 

Melinda gave Bobbi's hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm right here, sweetheart." She said softly, pressing a kiss to Bobbi's temple. She was afraid of pushing too hard, and making Bobbi uncomfortable--although Bobbi clearly had a Little side, Melinda was unsure of her 'age'.

 

Bobbi didn't offer her any more insight, content to lie there and hold Melinda's hand, indefinitely it seemed, although she did shift so her head was in Melinda's lap.

 

Melinda stroked her hair and murmured soothing words to her, trying to figure out how to broach the subject, when Leo burst into the room.

 

Bobbi sat up immediately, wincing.

 

"What's wrong?" Melinda wondered.

 

Leo stared at her, shaky and pale, his expression grave. "We have a problem."


	34. Chapter 34

[SKYE]

 

Skye felt herself being lifted up, but she was too tired to open her eyes and find out what was going on.

 

"It's okay, baby. I've got you." Mommy said, patting her back gently.

 

"What's going on?" Skye tried to ask, but it came out kind of indistinct, since she still had her paci in her mouth.

 

"Leo heard that there might be some trouble in the neighborhood, so we're going to go on a little vacation and stay somewhere else tonight."

 

Skye could tell by Mommy's tone that she wasn't getting the whole story, but she was too sleepy, and too afraid of the answer to press for more information. Mommy set her down again, putting her shoes on for her, fast and efficient.

 

Skye blinked owlishly, rubbing at the icky, crusty stuff in the corners of her eyes. Jemma moved across the bed to sit next to her, taking her hand.

 

“We’re going to be okay.” Jemma said calmly. “Don’t be scared.”

 

Skye wasn’t really scared, just unsettled, and tired, and wet. She wondered why Jemma felt like she needed to be the big sister, but she was glad to see that Jemma was feeling a little more confident.

 

Bobbi poked her head into the room. “The coast is clear for now.” she said.

 

“Thanks for the update.” Mommy said absently, as she put clothes for Skye and Jemma into a bag. “We’re almost finished packing. Romanov and Barton are on their way now.”

 

“Really?” Bobbi sounded almost giddy,and Skye couldn’t blame her for being excited; it was a pretty big deal to meet an Avenger.

 

But then, Bobbi spoke again, and she sounded much more like Agent Morse, than her Big Sister.

 

All--or at least most of--the grown-ups Skye was around seemed to have a different kind of voice, depending on who they were talking to.

 

Mommy’s voice got a little deeper and much more serious when they were on a mission and she had to be Agent May. At the moment, her voice was still soft and gentle and kind, and that was good, because Skye was starting to get worried; she hadn’t seen Mommy pack any of her own clothes…

 

“You’re coming with us, right Mommy?” Skye wondered.

 

Mommy pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be with you soon, okay. I can’t come with you right  away, because I have to make sure that everyone here is safe. Nat and Clint are coming to get you and Jemma. You’ll be staying with the Avengers for a few days, until we get this sorted out...I hear Thor’s visiting; you might even get to see him.” Mommy smiled.

 

Jemma squeezed Skye’s hand, warm, and  gentle, and safe, even if her fingers were a little sticky. “Did you hear that, Skye? We get to go and visit the Avengers!” Jemma’s voice was full of enthusiasm, but Skye kind of thought she was faking for her sake.

 

"Yay!" Skye thought she sounded kind of lackluster, but she was scared, and upset, and Mommy wasn't coming with them, and she was trying, but she didn't feel big enough to deal with it by herself.

 

There was an awkward, off-kilter knocking sound, and Skye turned toward the doorway, where the Black Widow and Hawkeye were standing. Her throat was suddenly very dry, and she pressed her face against Mommy to hide; she felt way too little to handle being around such important people.  
  


Mommy patted her bottom and rocked her a little, but Skye just held on tighter; She didn't want Mommy to leave her. What if she didn't come back?

 

"Mommy..." Skye said softly. "Don't leave me. Please, please, don't leave me."

 

"It's going to be okay, Skye. It's only for a little while." Mommy answered.

 

Skye felt sick to her stomach at hearing that--she’d heard that so many times before, and it always ended with her going back to St. Agnes.

 

Well, she wasn’t going to let that happen again. She managed to squirm out of Mommy’s grasp and took off running toward the door.

 

Hawkeye and Black Widow both made a grab for her, but she was small enough to dodge their hands, and then she was in the hallway, tearing toward Daddy’s office at a dead sprint.

 

“Skye stop!” Mommy sounded terrified, more scared than Skye had ever heard her before. And then, she ran into a wall.

 

There was a flash of white across her retinas, and then her nose started bleeding, and then she was crying on top of everything else.

 

“Mommy,” She wailed.

 

“Mommy?” Skye’s blood went cold. “That’s adorable.”

 

Skye slowly looked up, and found herself face-to-face with Grant Ward.

 

She swallowed hard and stood up, sniffling. She wiped the blood from her nose and forced herself to stop crying.

 

She turned around for half a second and winked at Mommy, so she’d know that what was about to happen wasn’t genuine.

 

“Grant!” Skye exclaimed, plastering a huge smile on her face. “I missed you!” she wrapped her arms around his leg, even though hugging him made her want to throw up.

 

Ward just looked confused. “You did?”

 

Skye nodded. “Uh-huh. I want to be a spy like you when I grow up. Mommy says you’re the best.”

 

Ward’s smile was all teeth and no happiness; it reminded her of a shark. “Is that so?”

 

Skye nodded and fished around in her pocket for the ICER Fitz had made for her. It was designed to look like a pen, but it actually fired a dart from the tip. She guessed Ward was wearing armor, so she’d have to get close.

 

“Can I have a hug?” Skye reached up toward his head.

 

“Don’t you touch her,” Mommy growled.

 

Ward moved too fast for Skye to follow, and suddenly he was holding a gun. Somehow, she knew it wasn’t a real gun, like the kind that could kill people, because she remembered seeing it before, but couldn’t place it exactly. But, that didn’t mean it wasn’t dangerous...

 

At the end of the hallway Bobbi shouldered Mommy out of the way as he fired.

 

The noise was loud, but it wasn’t anything like as noisy as she’d been expecting. Skye could only watch as Bobbi crumpled to the floor, and then Mommy when she moved to check on her.

 

Skye jammed the pen she was holding into Ward’s leg, and he stared down at her incredulously.

 

“Really?” he rolled his eyes and pulled the pen out. “That wasn’t very nice.” he said, and shoved Skye out of his way.

 

She landed hard on her butt and leveled her meanest glare at the back of his head. It was only then that she realized she’d forgotten to press the button at the top that would’ve deployed the ICER cartridge. It occurred to her then that she wasn’t a very good field agent, and that thought made her want to cry, because Mommy was one of the best agents ever, and she wanted to be just like her.

 

But, she couldn’t cry. Not now. She had to be brave.

 

Mommy was already getting up. She didn’t look hurt, which was a tremendous relief, but she definitely wasn’t happy.

 

“Take the kids and go,” she was saying “I’ll meet you back at the tower.” She cracked her knuckles.

 

Ward smirked.

 

Black Widow and Hawkeye emerged from the room behind Mommy, and Ward’s smirk disappeared as if someone had wiped it off his face.

 

“You’re gonna wish you stayed in bed today,” Skye sneered at him, and then someone was scooping  her up.

 

“Come on, kid,” Hawkeye was saying. “We’ve gotta go.”

 

Bobbi was stumbling along behind them, looking dejected and irritated. But, even though she was still tall, she wasn’t anything like as tall as she’d been before.

 

Bobbi froze as they rounded the corner. “Oh, no…” she gasped.

 

“What? What’s wrong?” Black Widow asked.

 

“Lance and Leo were guarding the door. If Ward’s inside…” With that, Bobbi took off down the hallway.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[LEO]

 

“I could’ve sworn you had less hair yesterday…” Lance was saying.

 

“And I could’ve sworn you were taller, and at least a little less annoying. I don’t know what happened, and we can figure this out later. If Ward got past us, that means that May, Bobbi and the others are in trouble. That’s priority number one.”

 

Leo blinked and groaned. His head was killing him.

 

“What’s happening?” he wondered.

 

“Ward dosed us, kid.” Hunter was saying.

 

Leo looked over at him; he was much taller than Leo remembered him being, although he was also shorter than Coulson, which didn’t make any sense.

 

Unless…

 

Leo looked down at his hands, a difficult task considering that he was currently drowning in his shirt.

 

“Bloody wonderful.” He muttered. “Now what do we do?”

 

“First, I’m going to go check on May, and then we’ll figure the rest out.” Coulson was saying.

 

“I’m coming with you,” Hunter said.

 

“No.” Coulson’s response was sharp and immediate. “Someone has to stay with Fitz.”

 

“I can take care of myself, thank you--” Leo’s protests died on his lips as he drew himself up to his full height; just barely head and shoulders above Coulson’s desk. He sighed. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than being as little as Skye, or Jemma.

 

“I’ll be right back. Stay here, until I come to get you.” Coulson said, and then he was gone.

 

“Well,” Hunter began. “this sucks.”

 

“You said it.” Leo muttered.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[JEMMA]

 

Bobbi was still a lot bigger than her, Jemma realized.

 

She’d gotten smaller for sure, because now she was her same height as Mommy, and before she’d been a lot taller.

 

Bobbi scooped her up and settled her on her hip. “Come on, cutie, we need to keep moving.” she said, but Jemma wasn’t really paying attention.

 

It was hard to focus with the noise of Mommy and Ward fighting in the background…

 

“There you are!” Daddy sounded really relieved, Jemma thought. “Where’s May?”

 

“She’s dealing with your wayward son. Could probably use a hand.” Hawkeye spoke quickly and succinctly. He sounded mad about something, and then Jemma remembered that he’d thought Daddy was dead.

 

Daddy nodded. “I know I’ve got a lot to answer for. We can discuss it once this is all over. Leo and Hunter are in my office. You should be safe in there until May and I deal with this.”

 

“Oh, we will.” Black Widow muttered after him as he disappeared around the corner; she sounded upset too. She allowed Bobbi to lead the way to Coulson’s office, since they didn’t know their way around the base.

 

Jemma blinked as they entered Coulson’s office.

 

Lance was sitting in Coulson’s chair with his feet propped up on the desk, which definitely wasn’t okay. Jemma knew Daddy would be upset if he saw. He definitely mostly the same, just with less stubble, and he wasn’t quite as muscular as he had been.

 

Jemma felt Bobbi stiffen when she saw him.

 

“Hunter?” she asked.

 

“The one and only,” he responded glibly, and then he snickered.

 

“What’s so funny?” Bobbi demanded, and she sounded mad. Jemma hoped they weren’t going to fight…

 

“I’m taller than you,” Lance pointed out.

 

“Only by, like, an inch. Grow up.” Bobbi snapped. “Where’s Leo?”

 

“Here,” Leo stood up. He was head-and-shoulders taller than Coulson’s desk, but he’d obviously been hit with Ward’s serum too. At least no one laughed at him.

 

“Are you okay, Leo?” Skye wondered

 

Leo chewed his sleeve absently for a moment before answering. “My head hurts, but I’m okay.”

 

Jemma squirmed until Bobbi put her down, then ran to give Leo a hug. He was big enough to actually hold her without too much effort and that made her feel much safe. She was fairly certain that Hunter, or Bobbi could lift him if they really wanted to, even though they  were smaller now.

 

Hunter was standing in front of Bobbi now, grinning like a fool. “I’m sorry.” he said. “I’m just really enjoying being the taller one in this relationship…”

 

“Oh, shut up.” Bobbi shoved him hard, and he toppled over the desk and landed back in Coulson’s chair.

 

“Meant to do it,” he said, grinning. “I have cat like reflexes.”

 

Bobbi looked like she was about to hit him for real, instead of just teasing.

 

Jemma swallowed.

 

“Do I need to separate you two?” Hawkeye wondered.

 

Bobbi and Hunter looked embarrassed. “No, sir.” They said in unison.

 

“Good.”

 

“When’s Mommy coming to get us?” Skye wondered, and Jemma was glad, because she’d been wondering the same thing, but she wasn’t sure she could be brave enough to ask.

 

“I don’t know.” Black Widow said. “Soon, I think.”

 

Jemma sighed and sat down behind the desk with Fitz to wait.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[MELINDA]

 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Ward demanded, although, admittedly, he was considerably less threatening when Melinda could restrain him with one hand. It had been almost laughably easy to beat him she’d felt at least fifteen years younger when she’d come to, like she was fresh out of the academy.

 

It was almost poetic, that she’d managed to defeat him with the same weapon he’d used to wreak havoc on her team.

 

“I gave you what you deserved.” Melinda responded evenly. “You said that you blame your parents for turning you into a psychopath. This is your chance to start over.”

 

“How am I supposed to start over when the whole team would be happy to put me down?” Ward sneered. It was disturbing how easily he acknowledged the fact that people wanted to kill him; but perhaps it was only disconcerting because he was less threatening now.

 

“You could start by apologizing.” Phil interjected.

 

“But,” Ward began to protest

 

“Or, we can just put you in the Vault until we find a place for you.” Melinda interrupted. She felt that Ward deserved a chance to redeem himself, even after the terrible things he’d done, but if he was going to insist on biting the hand that fed him, she wasn’t going to let him near the other children.

 

“Alright. I’ll apologize.” Ward decided. “You’re not going to...leave me alone with them, are you?” he wondered, and he sounded genuinely afraid.

 

“We’ll be close by so we can step in if something happens, but this is something you need to do on your own. And, the others might not forgive you for what you’ve done--that’s entirely up to them.”

 

“I understand.” Ward said, and hung his head.

 

“We’re going to put you back in the Vault for a little while, get everyone settled down, and then we’ll see if they want to talk to you.” Phil told him.

 

Ward nodded. He let Phil guide him away without a struggle. He paused as they were about to round the corner and turned to face Melinda.

 

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

 

And then, Melinda was alone.

  



	35. Chapter 35

[GRANT]

 

_We were a **team** , and a **family** , and **you** betrayed us!_

 

_You’re a **Nazi**!_

 

_If I ever see you again, I will kill you._

 

And, Maybe he deserved it.

 

Grant had a new appreciation for vulnerability now that his tall, muscular frame had been stripped away, and all the training in the world, whether from John Garrett, or S.H.I.E.L.D., didn’t matter anymore.

 

Vault D was exactly as he remembered it. The stains on the wall where he’d slammed into it had since washed away, but he could point to the exact spots.

 

He looked over to the small toilet/mirror/sink combo, and looked away from his reflection in despair.

 

The same scared, helpless child who who’d allowed himself to be broken down, molded into a killing machine for someone else’s cause.

 

And now, even though he was free from the poisonous influences of his family, and the corruptive, malicious hand of John Garrett, he still didn’t know what he wanted to do.

 

What he wanted to be.

 

He sighed. If his life had taught him anything, it was that he had to be strong to be useful.

 

Grant pushed away the sick feeling curdling in his stomach and started doing push-ups.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Three…

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[SKYE]

 

Bobbi let the waistband of Jemma’s diaper snap back into place.

 

“Thought so,” she said, and kissed Jemma’s temple. “You two have been busy today.”

 

Jemma just giggled, and Skye was happy that she felt comfortable enough to laugh, even though lots of scary things had just happened.

 

Mommy and Daddy were talking to Hawkeye and the Black Widow, and they were being kind of shouty, and that was scary too. Skye kind of felt like crying, but everyone had been through so much already, and she didn’t want to be too much work.

 

Bobbi took Jemma away to get changed, and then she was alone with Leo and Hunter.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked them.

 

“Never better, kiddo. Now I don’t have to worry about back pain for another twelve years or so.” Hunter said.

 

“‘M fine.” Leo said, but he was nibbling on his sleeve again, so it wasn’t very convincing. He was littler too, even though he was bigger than Skye.

 

Skye thought that any of the grown-ups could easily carry him; though she wasn’t sure how he would react to that...

 

“You don’t have to be,” Black Widow said, and Skye jumped; she hadn’t heard the Avenger come into the room.

 

“‘Fine’, I mean.” She continued. “It’s okay if you need some time to process…”

 

Leo didn’t say anything, but he nodded and went back to chewing his sleeve.

 

“Where’re your chompers mate?” Lance was asking.

 

Leo grinned widely, and Lance chuckled.

 

“You have very nice teeth, Leo, but I meant the other set of chompers.”

 

Leo looked confused for a second, and then shrugged. “Dunno.”

 

Lance held out his hand for Leo to take. “Let’s go find them, champ. Agent Mum will be upset if I let you ruin your clothes.”

 

Leo squirmed, and whether he was embarrassed, or just had to pee, Skye couldn’t tell. Probably both.

 

“And, let’s stop by the loo, while we’re at it.” Lance continued.

 

“I don’t have to go,” Leo protested.

 

“Well, I do. Besides, can’t hurt to try, right?”

 

Leo sighed. “Fine.”

 

“Good lad. You’re not too big for a piggy back ride, are you?”

 

Leo smiled. “No,” he clambered onto Lance’s back, laughing when Lance stuck his arms out and made airplane noises on his way out of the room.

 

“That was very brave of you to try and help us, Skye.” Black Widow said, sitting next to her on the couch.

 

Skye was stunned. That was high praise, especially since it came from an Avenger. “I used to have superpowers.” She said. “I wasn’t always so little.”

 

Black Widow smiled. “I know. Your mommy showed me pictures. I think you’re even cuter now, though.”

 

Skye smiled. “Are you going to stay here?”

 

The red-haired Avenger shook her head. “Sorry, honey, but Clint and I have to go home. I wish we could stay. But, don’t worry, we’ll come to visit.”

 

“Oh.” Skye replied. She played with the hem of her shirt. “Thanks for ‘escuing us.”

 

“No problem. Auntie Nat and Uncle Clint will always have your back. Melinda’s like a sister to me, so that makes you family.”

 

Skye smiled and wrapped her arms around Nat’s middle.

 

“Are you okay, baby?” Mommy’s voice came from the doorway.

 

Skye looked up immediately. Mommy looked exactly the same, so that was a relief. She seemed lighter, happier somehow, and Skye was very happy for that.

 

Skye nodded. “Did Ward hurt you? Are you okay?”

 

Mommy sat next to her and lifted Skye into her lap.

 

“No, baby. I’m okay. I think he got everyone, before he got to me. We’ve all been hit with the same stuff that changed you and Jemma.” Mommy explained.

 

Skye swallowed. That sounded kind of scary.

 

“What are we going to do now?”

 

“Well, there’s someone in the Vault who wants to talk to you before we make any final decisions that concern the team. But, I have a question for you, Skye. How would you like it if Phil and I adopted you? You don’t have to answer right--”

 

Skye lunged forward and hugged Mommy with all her strength. She’d often dreamed of facing this exact situation, and the happiness she felt now that it could actually happen was beyond words.

 

“Yes!” Skye almost shouted.

 

Mommy smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re so happy. That makes me happy too.”

 

“What about Jemma and Leo, Mommy? They’re little too. What will happen to them?”

 

“Daddy and I want to adopt them too, but we have to talk to them about it first.”

 

“Okay...Who wants to talk to me?” Skye wondered.

 

Mommy looked upset. She took a deep breath before she said anything else.

 

“Grant Ward.”

 

Skye took a deep breath. “Is he…”

 

“He’s little now too. Mommy gave him a taste of his own medicine. You’ll be safe. I’ll be there with you the whole time. But, you can say ‘no’ if you want. It’s up to you.”

 

Skye thought about it. It was scary, for sure, but Mommy would be with her, so she knew nothing bad would happen.

 

“I’ll go. I want to talk to him.”

 

*.*.*.*.

[JEMMA]

  


“There we go,”  Bobbi was saying as she put the icky diaper in the trash. “Fresh and clean.”

 

Jemma smiled. She didn’t really mind being in a messy diaper so much anymore; but it always felt good to get changed.

 

She yawned, and hoped that Bobbi hadn’t seen, because then it would probably be naptime, and naps were boring.

 

Bobbi sat down on the bed next to her and lifted Jemma into her lap. “Are you sleepy, munchkin?”

 

“No,” Jemma said, a little louder than she’d meant to, and she guessed Bobbi wasn’t convinced.

 

“I think so, baby.” Bobbi answered.

 

“ _No_. I not s’eepy.” Jemma said more firmly, and Bobbi raised an eyebrow.

 

“ _Hey_. That attitude is not okay, little one.”

 

“No, no, no, no! _No nap!_ ” Jemma wasn’t exactly sure when she’d lost control of her emotions, but it was too late to try and stop the tantrum now.

 

“Jemma. That is enough. You need to calm down. I’m going to count to three. If you’re not calmed down by then, you’re going to be in trouble, young lady.”

 

“One,” Bobbi began.

 

Jemma didn’t care that Bobbi was counting. It seemed irrelevant when she was this full of emotions and so limited in how she could express them.

 

“Two,”

 

Bobbi’s voice was close and distant all at once. Jemma squirmed out of her grip and began pummeling the bed with the full might of her impotent rage.

 

“Two-and-a-half...Jemma, I really don’t want to have to punish you. Please calm down.”

 

“Three,” Bobbi had waited a considerable amount of time before adding the last number to her count, and it was accompanied by a sharp impact to the seat of Jemma’s diaper.

 

It hadn’t hurt, of course, but the shock was enough that Jemma froze as if someone had doused her with cold water.

 

Mommy had spanked her the other day when she’d tried to touch the stove, and that had hurt a lot, even though she knew she kind of deserved it because Mommy had told her a lot of times not to touch it. She definitely wasn’t going to try that again...

 

Still, she hadn’t thought Bobbi would discipline her like that...

 

“Are you done?” Bobbi asked quietly. Her voice was gentle, but Jemma could tell that she was still upset.

 

“You’re mean.” Jemma said without thinking.

 

Bobbi flinched away from her; and maybe she sniffled, but Jemma wasn’t sure.

 

“I’m sorry you feel that way. But you’re still going in the corner for two minutes. We’ll try this again then.” Bobbi set Jemma down in front of the nearest corner and gently turned her to face the wall.

 

Bobbi’s voice was different, almost...watery.

 

_Oh, no._

 

Was she crying?

 

“Beebee, peez, wait,” Jemma began as Bobbi turned away.

 

“ _You stay in the corner_!” Bobbi snapped in a very scary tone of voice.

 

Jemma gasped and turned back to face the corner immediately, tears streaming down her face. Bobbi had scared her, but what was worse was the fact that Bobbi was crying too. Jemma had seen, and that made her feel about a million times worse.

 

She was so bad…

 

The door bumped against the latch, and Jemma realized that Bobbi was gone.

 

What if she left forever?

 

What if she didn’t want to be Jemma’s big sister anymore because of how she’d acted?

 

That would be _awful_ …

 

Jemma rested her head against the wall and cried.

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[PHIL]

 

Bobbi was curled up in a ball across the hall from Jemma’s door, and Phil had had enough experience with all the kids before this whole mess had begun to know that she was crying.

 

He sat down next to her, and he was pleasantly surprised when his back didn’t protest.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“I’m a horrible person.” Bobbi said quietly.

 

Phil reached out to her, rubbing her back gently. “That’s not true, kiddo.” Melinda had told him about Bobbi’s confession to her after Clint and Natasha had left, but he hadn’t really had time to process it yet. “You’re wonderful.”

 

“But it _is_!” Bobbi exclaimed, finally looking at him, face awash with tears. “I yelled at Jemma. She’s never going to forgive me.”

 

Phil pulled Bobbi a little closer, and she curled pliantly into his side. “What happened?”

 

“I tried to put her down for a nap, and she flipped out. I ended up giving her a swat on the behind because of her tantrum, and she said I was mean. That really hurt my feelings, and I tried not to let it show...but she tried talking to me after I put her in time-out and I snapped at her.” Bobbi confessed and shifted away from him again. “I don’t even know what she was going to say. She could have been about to apologize.”

 

Phil sighed. “Sounds like you were both pretty upset, huh.”

 

Bobbi nodded.

 

“I feel terrible.”

 

“Everyone says and does things they regret when they’re angry. But, you made the right call putting her in the corner. Jemma knows better than to act that way. And, I’m sure she knows you didn’t mean to yell. The kids test mine, and Melinda’s patience too, and we get loud sometimes. But, Bobbi?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Jemma knows you love her, and that’s the most important thing. The little ones, especially Skye and Jemma, like to push you just to see how much they can get away with. Sometimes you have to draw the line and say: ‘enough is enough’. And, occasionally, you need to be a little firmer and a little louder than you normally would to get the point across. You did good.”

 

“I still think I should apologize…”

 

“If you think that would make things better between you two, then, by all means, go ahead. It sets a good example for her, too.”

 

Bobbi leaned in and hugged him before standing up again. “Thanks,”

 

Phil smiled. “Anytime.”

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[BOBBI]

 

“Jemma?” Bobbi scanned the room for her tiny counterpart.

 

She wasn’t too hard to find, curled up in the corner where Bobbi had left her.

 

Bobbi’s heart clenched when Jemma looked up at her, her face pitifully, woefully sad.

 

Bobbi crouched down, and opened her arms to the toddler. “Can I have a hug, baby girl?”

 

Jemma didn’t waste any time bolting into Bobbi’s open arms.  She pressed her face into Bobbi’s shoulder murmuring something over and over; it took Bobbi a moment to realize that she was saying ‘I’m sorry’.

 

Bobbi cradled Jemma’s head against her and shushed her gently. She slid a hand under Jemma’s bottom so she could lift her comfortably, and realized that the poor kid was in desperate need of a diaper change.

 

“It’s okay, dear one. It’s all over.”  she gently laid Jemma on the bed and took changing supplies from the basket nearby.

 

Jemma’s little fingers wormed themselves into Bobbi’s shirt, and held on tight; Bobbi had seen both of the babies do it with May--and she was only now discovering how difficult it was to carry out even a simple task like this with a child clinging to her like a limpet.

 

She leaned down and kissed Jemma’s forehead when she’d finished.

 

She sat down on the bed and lifted Jemma into her lap, settling her so she was facing her.

 

“I owe you an apology, little one. I’m very sorry I yelled at you, little one. I shouldn’t have done that. I bet that was pretty scary, wasn’t it?”

 

Jemma nodded.

 

“I’ll try very hard not to yell like that again. But, you know how sometimes, when you get upset, you just kind of...blow up without meaning to?”

Another nod.

“Well, sometimes that happens to grown-ups too.”

 

Jemma’s expression turned remorseful. “I sorry, I bad.” Bobbi could tell she was frustrated, because she’d been having more and more trouble speaking properly,  and it was always worse when she was emotional.

 

Bobbi helped Jemma to stand and wiped her tears away before kissing her forehead. “You’re not bad. You were misbehaving, and I know that you know better than to act that way, but you’re not a bad person.”

 

Jemma hugged her then, warm and tight and full of innocence; and Bobbi’s heart just about melted.

 

“I ‘ove you, Beebee.” Jemma said quietly, leaning heavily against her.

 

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Bobbi answered. She slid a hand under Jemma’s shirt to rub her back, like she’d seen May do.

 

“Do you think you might be ready for naptime now?” Bobbi asked, but Jemma was already asleep.

 

Bobbi cradled Jemma against her chest, leaned back against the pillows, and closed her eyes.

 

She was pretty worn-out herself.

 


	36. Chapter 36

[SKYE] 

 

For some reason, it was always much easier to be brave when other people were around.

 

Jemma would get anxious if she knew Skye was upset, so it was easiest to push her fear aside when she was around, because she didn’t want to make Jemma’s anxiety worse.

 

Leo was different; he hid what he was feeling, and he was normally very understanding when Skye got scared or upset, so she knew she didn’t  _ have  _ to be brave around him, but she tried anyway.

 

But now that she was alone with Mommy, Skye realized that she was terrified.

 

Mommy patted her bottom as they turned the corner. “You know you don’t have to talk to Ward if you don’t want to.” she said.

 

Skye nodded. “I know. But...I feel like I should. I know he’s done a lot of really bad things, and hurt a lot of people...but I feel like I should say ‘thank you.’ At first, I was mad at him for doing this to me. I was scared, upset, and I felt  _ so _ helpless.” Skye sniffled and looked away. 

 

“But now that I’ve had time to adjust, I think that, besides you and Daddy bringing me onto the team, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I have a family now, and a second chance at growing up, which I never thought I’d get.”

 

“That’s a very mature way of seeing things, Skye. I’m very proud of you for trying to find the good in this situation, and I know that Grant will appreciate it.”

 

Skye squirmed. “Can you just…”

 

“What is it, little one?”

 

“Hold me? I just...I need a minute.”

 

Mommy’s strong arms wrapped around her, secure and warm and safe.

 

“It’s okay,” she said, stroking Skye’s hair. “Take as long as you need.”

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[JEMMA]

 

She was glad when Bobbi let her help with the laundry; it made her feel useful. It was easy work, separating the dark clothing from the light clothing, but she was glad that Bobbi trusted her with it.

 

Her tummy had started hurting a little while ago, and she was pretty sure she needed to poop, but she was embarrassed to say anything to Bobbi about it.

 

“Hey, Jemma,” Bobbi was saying as she held up a garishly colored shirt. “Can you tell me what color this shirt is?”

 

“Yellow,” Jemma said, but she was fairly certain she’d mangled the pronunciation. It also didn’t help that her body had chosen that particular moment to start filling her diaper.

 

Jemma looked around for a suitable place to hide while she did her business--just because she was in diapers didn’t mean that she wanted an audience when she needed to ‘go’...

 

Skye didn’t seem bothered by it, and Jemma guessed that they were just different in that way.

 

“Are you okay munchkin?” Bobbi called out.

 

“Uh-huh,” Jemma responded.

 

Jemma tried to be quiet, and she felt a lot more comfortable when Bobbi turned the TV on in the background. She took her cue from Skye, who usually kept on playing even if she had a full diaper.

 

“I think we need to go change you,” Bobbi said.

 

“But, I want to help…” Jemma protested

 

“You can, little one. We just need to change your diaper, and you can come right back to help me.

 

Jemma huffed and flopped bonelessly onto the bed with a whine. She knew Bobbi was right, but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.

 

Bobbi just clicked her tongue and rubbed Jemma’s tummy as she bent down to grab changing supplies from the basket near her bed.

 

“I think a certain little girl is ready for naptime,” Bobbi said as she set to work.

 

Jemma felt herself crying. “ _ No _ ,” She whined again. She knew that the crying and the whining did absolutely nothing to help her case--if anything, she was making Bobbi’s point for her.

 

But, she was little, and she couldn’t help it, and even though Bobbi had made it cpear.that she was not a fan of whining, she seemed to understand that Jemma wasn’t doing it deliberately to upset her.

 

“Oh, yes, little one. It is definitely time for a nap. I’ll make you a deal: if you go down for a nap without anymore fussing, I’ll let you help me cook dessert for after dinner. We’re having cake.”

 

“Okay,” Jemma conceded. Her eyes closed all on their own, even as she protested that she wasn’t  _ that  _ sleepy.

 

Bobbi just shushed her gently. “Time for sleep, baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

 

*.*.*.*.

 

[SKYE]

 

Grant looked terrified.

 

Skye was doing her best to look intimidating and grown-up, but she was pretty sure the fear on his face was because Mommy was standing behind her.

 

“Are you sorry?” Skye asked. “I want to forgive you. I don’t know what the others will say, but I’m not mad anymore. But, you gots to be sorry first.”

 

Grant nodded. He looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn’t. “I am sorry. I know that what I did was wrong, and that it’s not okay to blame other people for the bad choices that  _ I  _ made. I know I don’t deserve it, and I know that the rest of the team must be so angry...I can be different. I can be good. I just need a chance to show them...and I don’t know if they’ll let me.”

 

“I really, really don’t think you’re lying, Grant. I want to believe you, but you’ve lied to me before.” Skye swallowed hard and rubbed her eyes. Being big was hard, and really tiring. “It’s like Mommy says: actions speak louder than words. Show me that you’re sorry. I know what you  _ said _ , but now it’s time to prove it.”

 

Grant looked at her seriously. “I will.” he said. “I promise.”

 

“I hope so.” Mommy was talking now, and she stepped forward to pick Skye up. “I have to put Skye down for her nap, but I’ll be back later to get you so you can eat dinner with us and shower.”

 

“Thanks. I...I didn’t think anyone would want me around...I can’t say that I blame them though.” Grant sniffled.

 

“We all make mistakes, Grant. The important thing is that you learn from them. I’ll be back to to get you in about an hour so you can clean up for dinner.”

 

“Alright.” Grant said, and then Mommy was walking away.

 

It took all of Skye’s energy just to lift her head. “Did I do good, Mommy?”

 

“You did wonderfully, baby. I’m so proud of you, you were so brave, and you treatd Grant with respect.”

 

“You told me once, when I was big, that even if you don’t like someone very much, you should still try to help them when they’re in trouble. I think Grant is really scared Mommy, he needs a grown-up too, lots of them, just like me, even though he pretends he’s brave.”

 

“I think you’re right, little one. Are you ready for naptime? You looked exhausted.”

 

Skye nodded and yawned enormously. She wished she’d brought her paci with her,but she hadn’t wanted to seem too little in front of Grant. She guessed her thumb would have to do instead. “I’m sleepy,” Skye admitted.

 

Mommy reached under her shirt to rub her back the way she liked.

  
Safe in Mommy’s arms, Skye drifted off to sleep.


	37. Chapter 37

[GRANT]

Grant tried to suppress a flinch as utensils scraped across plates at the table.

His instincts were in overdrive; before the debacle with HYDRA, he’d been brought onto Coulson’s team for his ability to assess risk. 

Breathe. He told himself.

Relax.

It didn’t help. 

Grant managed to keep his breathing under control, but only just. 

He was sweating bullets and trembling--he hadn’t been lying about being abused as a child, and there were too many people in the room who undoubtedly had an axe to grind with him.

Too many variables for him to accurately keep track of.

He took a bite of his steak and shoveled it into his mouth before anyone could see that his hands were shaking.

His stomach turned and his appetite shriveled into nothing.

He chewed slowly, horrified. This was the same meal he’d eaten before Garrett had forced him to kill Buddy.

Grant felt sick. 

“Can...can I be excused?” He asked, his voice small and quiet, perfectly modulated to avoid upsetting people.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry, buddy?” Bobbi asked.

 

Bobbi’s knee gave under his foot with a grisly crunch.

She howled.

“Is there anything you’d like to say to Kara?” He’d sneered.

And now she was looking after him. After everything he’d done…

Grant bolted, upending his chair as he tore out of the room.

“Grant, wait!” Skye called after him. He pressed on, ducking into a closet once he was sure he was out of sight.

He sank to the floor, his back pressed against the door as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“Grant!” Skye sounded out of breath. “Are you okay?”

Grant didn’t trust his voice. “Go away,” he croaked.

“Uh-uh,” Skye replied, and he could practically hear her shaking her head. The door shuddered against his back; probably Skye flopping down on the other side.

 

“It’s not good to be alone when you’re sad. Mommy says.” Skye said, her voice firm.

Grant knew that Skye had practically worshipped the ground May walked on, even before he’d betrayed them. She had good reason to admire May, and, well, she wasn’t wrong.

Still, Grant wasn’t in the mood for company.

*.*.*.*.

“Shoot the dog.” Garrett’s voice was deadly serious.

Grant’s heart dropped into his stomach. “What?” He very nearly whispered, cursing himself for failing to keep his mouth shut.

“That’s not going to be a problem is it?”

Grant swallowed hard. “No”

“Good. Do what needs done, and let’s get moving; we have a plane to catch.”

“Yes, sir.” Grant felt numb. Her whistled once, sharply, and Buddy was at his side instantly, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Grant leveled his revolver at the dog and met Garrett’s eyes.

Garrett nodded, and then left to go pack up their campsite.

As soon as he was out of sight, Grant fired the gun harmlessly into the air, and Buddy took off into the woods.

Grant picked up his rifle and looked through the scope.

Buddy was searching for a kill, turning this way and that, nose twitching as he sniffed the air.

Grant sighed. Buddy wouldn’t return without a kill, so he didn’t have to worry about the dog returning to the campsite before they were gone. He allowed himself the barest hint of smile.

You’re wrong, John. He thought. It’s not a weakness.

*.*.*.*.

“We need to let Grant be, little one. I know you want to help, and that’s wonderful, but he needs some space right now.” that was Bobbi’s voice. “Remember how scared you were at first.”

Skye heaved a surprisingly adult-sounding sigh.

“And, you need a diaper change and a bath...Don’t give me that look; we can check on Grant again before bedtime.”

Grant felt guilty for making Skye worry about him, so he hesitantly pushed the door to the closet open.

“I’m okay, Skye. See?” Grant coughed when Skye barrelled into him, little arms winding around his midsection.

“I was worried,” Skye said.

“I know. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“It’s ‘kay. You’re not gonna run away are you?”

“I’ll be around for a bit.” Grant pushed her away gently. “It’s late. You should be in bed.”

Skye glared at him. “You’re not the boss of me. And, you’re not a grown-up, so you need to get ready for bed too.” She huffed.

Grant almost laughed. It was hard to take Skye seriously, with her small size and obviously soiled diaper, but he held himself in check. “Okay. I don’t know where anything is though; you’ll have to show me.”

Skye smiled, glad, he thought, to be able to help out, and led him down the hall by the arm, with Bobbi trailing close behind them.

*.*.*.*.

[JEMMA]

“Remember, little one, Mommy’s milk isn’t the same as the kind we get at the grocery store. It will taste different, and you might not like it.” Mommy said.

Mommy was silly sometimes, Jemma thought. Of course she’d like her milk.

Jemma latched on carefully and sucked tentatively. The milk was warm, and it did taste different, but it was still good, she thought.

“Easy, baby,” Mommy said, and patted her bottom. “Not too fast.”

Jemma kept suckling anyway, at least until her tummy tied in a knot.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Mommy asked.

“Tummy hurts.” Jemma admitted.

Mommy kissed her forehead. “Is that all? Come here,” she lifted Jemma so she was leaning over her shoulder and gave her back a few firm pats.

Jemma startled herself by burping rather loudly; she immediately hid her face in Mommy’s neck.

Mommy laughed gently. “My goodness! Is that better little one?”

Jemma nodded, too embarrassed to speak. And then she said:

“I’m still hungry, Mama.”

Mommy settled Jemma in her arms again, and gently guided her mouth to her nipple once more.

Jemma latched on again and relaxed against Mommy, safe and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long everyone! Next chapter will be longer, bear with me as I'm still getting back in the swing of things! Thanks for your patience!


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